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Hyp. What can this familiar


Enter Host. Flo. With much ado, I have recollected his face. Don't you remember, madam, about two Come, fill out-hold-let me taste it first-Ye or three years ago, Don Philip had a trusty ser- blockhead, would ye have the gentleman drink vant, called Trappanti

, that used now and then before he knows whether it be good or not? to slip a note into your hand as you came from [Drinks.] Yes, 'twill do—Give me the bottle, I'II church?

fill myself. Now, sir, is not that a glass of right wine? Hyp. Is this he, that Philip turned away for Hyp. Extremely good, indeedBut, sir, as saying I was as proud as a beauty, and homely to my question. enough to be good humoured?

Trap. I'm afraid, sir, that mutton won't be Flo. The very same I assure ye; only, as you enough for us all. see, starving has altered his air a little.

Hyp. Oh, pray sir, bespeak what you please. Hyp. Poor fellow! I am concerned for him. Trap. Sir, your most humble servant- -Here, What makes him so far from Seville ?

master! prithee, get us a-ha! ay, get us a Flo. I am afraid all places are alike to him. dozen of poached eggs a dozen, dy'e hear-just

Hyp. I have a great mind to take him into my to-pop down a little. service; his assurance may be useful, as my case Host. Yes, sir.

[Going. stands.

Trap. Friend

let there be a little slice of Flo. You would not tell him who you are? bacon to every one of them.

Hyp. There's no occasion for it I'll talk Hyp. But, sirwith him.

Trap. 'Odso! I had like to have forgot-

here a-Sancho, Sancho! Ay, is not your name Enter TRAPPANTI.


Host. Diego, sir. Trap. Your dimmer's upon the spit, gentlemen, Trap. Oh, ay, Diego; that's true, indeed, and the cloth is laid in the best room-Are you Diego. Umph! not for a whet, sir ? What wine? what wine? Hyp. I must e'en let him alone; there's no hey!

putting in a word till his mouth's full. Flo. We give you trouble, sir.

Trap. Come, here's to thee, Diego-(Drinks Trap. Not in the least, sir-Hey! (Knocks. and fills again.] That I should forget thy name,

though. Enter Host.

Host. No great harm, sir.

Trap. Diego, ha! a very pretty name, faith Host. D’ye call, gentlemen?

-I think you are married, are you not, Diego? Hyp. Ay; what wine have ye?

Host. Ay, ay, sir. Host. What sort you please, sir.

Trap. Ha ! how many children? Flo. Sir, will you please to name it?

Host. Nine girls and a boy, sir.

[To Trap. Trap. Ha! nine girls-Come, here's to thee Trap. Nay, pray, sir !

again, Diego--Nine girls! a stirring woman, Hyp. No ceremony, dear sir ! upon my word 1 dare say; a good housewife, ha, Diego?

Host. Pretty well, sir. Trap. Upon my soul you'll make me leave


Trap. Makes all her pickles herself, I warrant gentlemen.


-Does she do olives well? Hyp. Come, come, no words; prithee, you Host. Will you be pleased to taste them, sir? shall.

Trap. Taste them ! hum! prithee, let's have a Trap. Psha! but why this among friends, now? plate, Diego. Here-have ye any right Galicia?"

Host. Yes, sir, Host. The best in Spain, I warrant it.

Hyp. And our dinner as soon as you please, Trap. Let's taste it; if it be good, set us out sir : when it's ready, call us. half a dozen bottles for dinner.

Host. Yes, sir.

[E.rit Host. Host. Yes, sir.

[Erit Host. Hyp. But, sir, I was asking you of your proFlo. Who says this fellow's a starving now? |fession. On my conscience, the rogue has more impudence Trap. Profession ! really, sir, I don't use to than a lover at midnight.

profess much : I am a plain-dealing sort of a Hyp. Hang him, 'tis inoffensive; I'll humour inan: if I say I'll serve a gentleman, he may dehim- -Pray, sir, (for I find we are like to be pend upon me. better acquainted, therefore, I hope you won't Flo. Have you ever served, sir? take my question ill)

Trap. Not these two last campaigns. Trap. Oh, dear sir !

Hyp. How so? Hyp. What profession may you be of? Trap. Some words with my superior officer; I

Trap. Profession, sir~1-1~Ods me? here's was a little too free in speaking my mind to him. wine.

Hyp. Don't you think of serving again, sir?

you shall.

Trap. If a good post fall in my way.

Hyp. Ha! dy'e think she loved him? Hyp. I believe I could help you-Pray, sir, Trap. If she did, 'twas as the cobler loved his when

you served last, did you take pay or wages? wife. Trap. Pay, sir ! Yes, sir, I was paid, clear- Hyp. How's that? ed, subsistence and arrears, to a farthing.

Trap. Why, he beat her thrice a-day, and told Hyp. And your late commander's name was his neighbours he loved her ne'er the worse, but Trap. Don Philip de las Torres.

he was resolved she should never know it. Hyp. Of Seville

Hyp. Did she use him so very ill ?
Trap. Of Seville.

Trap. Like a jade.
Hyp. Sir, your most humble servant. You Flo. How d’ye do now?

[To Hye. need not be curious, for I am sure you don't Hyp. I don't know-methinks, I–But sure; know me, though I do you, and your condition, what, was she not handsome, say ye? which, I dare promise you, I'll mend upon our bet- Trap. A devilish tongue. ter acquaintance : and your first step to deserve Hyp. Was she ugly? it, is to answer me honestly to a few questions. Flo. Ay, say that at your peril. [ Aside Keep your assurance still; it may do me service; Hyp. What was she? how did she look? I shall like you better for it. Come, here's to Trap. Look! why, faith, the woman looked encourage you.

[Gives him money. very well when she had a blush in her face. Trap. Sir, my humble service to you.

Hyp. Did she often blush? Hyp. Well said.

Trap. I never saw her. Flo. Nay, I'll pass my word he sha'n't dwindle Hyp. Never saw her! had she no charm? what into modesty.

made him love her? Trap. I never heard a gentleman talk better in Trap. Really, I can't tell. my life. I have seen such sort of a face before; Flo. How d’ye like the picture, madam? but where I don't know, nor I don't care.

[Aside. It's your glass, sir.

Hyp. Oh, oh, extremely well ! the rogue has Hyp. Grammercy! here, cousin. [Drinks to put me into a cold sweat. I am as humble as an Flora.] Come now, what made Don Philip turn offending lover. you out of his service? why did you leave him?

Enter Host. Trap. 'Twas time, I think; his wits had left him the man was mad.

Host. Gentlemen, your dinner's upon the table. Hyp. Mad!

(Exit Host. Trap. Ay, stark mad in love.

Hyp. That's well. Come, sir; af dinner I'll Hyp. In love! how, pray?

give you farther instructions how you may serve Trap. Very deep-up to the ears-over head yourself and me. -drowned by this time--he would in-I Trap. Come, sir.

[To Flora. would have had him stopped when he was up to Flo. Nay, dear sir! no ceremony. the middle.

Trap. Sir, your very humble servant. Hyp. What was she he was in love with?

[As they are going, Hyp. stops them. Trap. The devil.

Hyp. Come back; here's one I don't care Hyp. So, now for a very ugly likeness of my should see me. own face. [ Aside.) What sort of a devil?

Trap. Sir, the dinner will be cold. Trap. The damning sort a woman.

Hyp. Do you eat it hot, then; we are not Hyp. Had she no name?

Trap. Her Christian name was Donna Hypo- Trap. Sir, your very humble servant again. lita, but her proper name was Shittlecock.

[Erit Trar. Flo. How dy'e like that? [ Aside to Hyp. Flo. You seem concerned; who is it?

Hyp. Pretty well. [Aside to Flo.] Was she Hyp. My brother Octavio, as I live!-Come handsome?

(They retire. Trap. Umph--s0, so. Flo. How dy'e like that?

[To Hyp.

Enter Octavio and a Servant. Hyp. Umph-50, so. (To Flo.] Had she Oct. Jasper, run immediately to Rosara's wowit?

man; tell her I am just come to town; slip that Trap. Sometimes.

note into her hand, and stay for an answer. Hyp. Good humour?

Flo. 'Tis he!
Trap. Very seldom.
Hyp. Proud ?

Re-enter Iloss, conducting Don Puilip. Trap. Ever.

Host. Here, sir, please to walk this way. Hyp. Was she honest ?

Flo. And Don Philip, by Jupiter! Trup. Very proud.

D. Phi. When my servant comes, send him to Hyp. What, had she no good qualities? me immediately. Trup. Faith, I don't remember them.

Host. Yes, sir.


this way.

Hyp. Nay, then, it is time for us to make ready know the lady, and what the neighbours say of Alons!

[Ereunt Hyp. and Flo. her. Oct. Don Philip!

Hyp. This was a lucky discovery—but hush. D. Phi. Dear Octavio!

D. Phi. What will you do in this case ? Oct. What lucky point of the compass could Oct. That I don't yet know : I am half disblow us to one another so?

tracted; I have just sent my servant to tell her D. Phi. Faith a wind very contrary to my in- I am come to town, and beg an opportunity to clination ; but the worst, I see, blows some good. speak with her; I long to see her; I warrant I am overjoyed to see you. But what makes you the poor fool will be so soft and so humble, now so far from the army?'

she's in a fright. Oct. Who thought to have found you so far D. Phi. What will you purpose at your meetfrom Seville?

ing her? D. Phi. What do you do at Madrid ?

Oct. I don't know; may be another meeting ; Oct, Oh, friend, such an unfortunate occasion, at least it will come to a kind look, a kiss, good and yet such a lucky discovery! such a mixture bye, and a sigh—Ah, if I can but persuade her of joy and torment, no poor dog upon earth was to run away with me! ever plagued with.

D. Phi. ConsiderD.'Phi. Unriddle, pray.

Oct. Ah, so I do! What pleasure 'twould be, Oct. Don't you remember, about six months to have her steal out of her bed in a sweet ago, I wrote you word of a dear, delicious, moonshiny night; to hear her come pat, pat, sprightly creature, that I had bombarded for a pat, along in her slippers, with nothing but a thin whole summer to no purpose ?

silk night-gown loose about her, and in this D. Phi. I remember.

tempting dress, to have her jump into my arms, Oct. That same silly, stubborn, charming an- breathless with fear; her panting bosom close gel, now capitulates.

to inine; then to stifle her with kisses, and curl D. Phi. Then she's taken.

myself about her smooth warm limbs, that Oct. I can't tell that; for, you must know, her breathe an healing odour from their pores, perfidious father, contrary to his treaty with me, enough to make the senses ache, or fancy mad! and her inclination, is going to

D. Phi, Octavio, I envy thee; thou art the D. Phi. Marry her to another

happiest man in thy temperOct. Of a better estate than mine, it seems. Oct. And thou art the most altered I ever She tells me here, he is within a day's march of knew. Pr’ythee, what makes thee so much upon her; begs me to come upon the spur to her re- the humdrum? Well, are my sister and you lief; and, if I don't arrive too late, confesses she come to a right understanding yet? When do loves me well enough to open the gates, and let you marry? me enter the town before him. There's her ex- Hyp. So, now I shall have my picture by.

another band.

D. Phi. My condition, Octavio, is very much HYPOLITA, Flora, and Trappanti appear in like your mistress's ; she is going to marry the the Balcony.

man she never saw, and I the woman.

Oct. 'Sdeath, you make ine tremble! I hope Hyp. Hark! they are talking of a mistress- | 'tis not my mistress. let us observe.

D. Phi. Thy mistress! that were an idle fear; Flo. Trappanti

, there's your old master. Madrid's a wide place-or if it were, (she loving Trap. Ay, I know him again ; but I may you) my friendship and my honour would oblige chance to tell him, he did not know a good ser

me to desist. vant when he had him.

Oct. That's generous, indeed ! but still you D. Phi. [Reads.). My father has concluded amaze me! Are you quite, broke off with my ' a match for me with one I never saw, and in- sister? I hope she has given you no reason to

tends, in two days, to perfect it: the gentleman forget her. ' is expected every hour. In the mean time, if Hyp. Now, I tremble. you know


friend that has a better title to D. Phi. The most severe that ever beauty me, advise him forthwith to put in his claim. I printed in the heart of man; a coldness unacam almost out of my senses, which you will countable to sense. easily believe when I tell you, if such a one Oct. Psha, dissembled, should make haste, I sha'nt have time to refuse

Hyr. Hal him any thing.'

D. Phi. I cann't think it; lorers are soon Hyp. How is this?

fattered into hope ; but she appeared to me inD. Phi. No name?

different to so nice a point, that she has ruined Oct. She never would trust it in a letter. me without the trouble of resolving it. Flo. If this should be Don Philip's mistress ? Flo. Well, men are tools. Trap. Sir, you may take my word it is: I Oct. And by this time she's in fits for your

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leaving her; 'tis her nature; I know her from Oct. (To D. Phi.] My dear friend, I beg a her bib and baby: I remember, at five years old, thousand pardons ; I must leave you this the vixen has fasted three days together, in pure minute ; the kind creature has sent for me. I spite to her governess.

am a soldier, you know, and orders must be Hyp. So

obeyed; when I come off duty I'll immediateOct. Nothing could ever, in appearance, make ly wait upon you. her pleased or angry; always too proud to be D. Phi. You'll find me here, or hear of me. obliged, too high to be affronted, and thought Adieu. Here, house ! [Exit Octavio. nothing so low as to seem fond of revenge: she had a stomach that could digest every thing but

Enter Host. humility.

Prithee, see if my servant be come yet. Hyp. Good lack, Mr Wit!

Host. I believe he is, sir; is he not in blue? Oct. Yet, with all this, I have sometimes seen D. Phi. Ay, where is the sot? her good-natured, generous, and tender.

Host. Just refreshing himself with a glass at Hyp. There the rogue was civil again. D. Phi. I have thought so, too. [Sighing. D. Phi. Pray, tell the gentleman I'd speak

Hyp. How can he speak of me with so much with him.-Exit Host.) In all the necessaries generosity ?

of life, there is not a greater plague than serOct. For all her usage of you, I'll be racked vants. Hey, Soto ! if she did not love you. D. Phi. I rather think she hated me: how

Enter Soto, drunk. ever, now 'tis past, and I must endeavour to Soto. Did you please to—uchcall, sir? think no more of her.

D. Phi. What's the reason, blockhead, I must Hyp. Now I begin to hate myself.

always wait upon you thus ? Oct. Then you are determined to marry this Soto. Sir, I did not know any thing of it. other lady?

l-came as soon as you se-se-se-sent for D. Phi. That's my business to Madrid. Trap. Which shall be done to your hand. D. Phi. And why not without sending, sir? D. Phi. Besides, I am now obliged by con- Did you think I expected no answer to the

business I sent you

about? Oct. Then, (though she be my sister) may Soto. Yes, sir-I did think you would be willsome jealous, old, ill-natured dog, revenge your ing--that is to have an account—so, I staid quarrel to her.

to take a glass at the door, because I would not Hyp. Thank


be out of the way-huh ! D. Phi. Corne, forget it.

D. Phi. You are drunk, rascal ! -Where's Hyp. Come, we have seen enough of the the portmanteau ? enenıy's motions, to know 'tis time for us to Soto. Sir, I am here--if you please I'll give decamp.

you the whole account how the matter is-huh ! (Ereunt HYPOLITA, Flora, and TRAPPANTI. D. Phi. My mind 'misgives me- -speak, Oct. With all my heart; let's go in, and drink villain !-

[Strikes him. your new mistress's health. When do you visit Soto. I will, sir, as soon as I can put my words her?

into an intelligible order : I ar'n't running away, D. Phi. I intended it immediately, but an un- sir. lucky accident hindered me: one of my servants D. Phi. To the point, sirrah. fell sick upon the road, so that I am forced to Soto. Not of your sword, dear sir ! make shift with one, and he is the most negli- D. Phi. Sirrah, be brief, or I'll murder you : gent, sottish rogue in nature; he has leit my port- where's the portmanteau ? manteau, where all my writings and letters of Soto. Sir, as I hope to breathe, I made all the concern are, behind him at the last town we strictest search in the world, and drank at every lay al, so that I can't properly visit the lady, or house upon the road going and coming, and her father, till I am able to assure them who I asked about it; and so, at last, as I was comam.

ing within a mile of the town here, I found, Oct. Why don't you go back yourself to see thenfor them?

D. Phi. What? D. Phi. I have sent my servant, for I am Soto. That it must certainly be lost. really tired : I was loath to appear so much D. Phi. Dog ! d’ye think this must satisfy me? concerned for thein, lest the rascal should think

[Beats him. it worth his while to run away with them.

Soto. Lord, sir, you won't hear reason -- -Are

you sure you ha'n't it about you ?- -If I know Enter Servant to OCTAVIO.

any thing of it I wish I


be burnt! Oct. How now?

D. Phi. Villain ! your life can't make me Ser, Here's an answer, sir.

[Gives a letter. satisfaction.

Soto. No, sir, that's hard--a man's life can't Hyp. What's the matter? --for my part-I-I

Trap. Sir, you are not shaved. D. Phi. Why do I vent my rage against a sot,

Hyp. Shaved ! a clod of earth? I should accuse myself for Trup. Ever while you live, sir, go with a trusting him.

smooth chin to your mistress. Hey! (Knocks. Soto. Sir-I had rather-bought a portman- Hyp. This puppy does so plague me with his tead out of my own pocket, than have had such impertinence, I shall laugh out and discover mya life about it.

self. D. Phi. Be dumb !

Trap. Why, Diego ! Soto. Ahuh! Yes.

Hyp. Psha! prithee don't stand fooling, we're D. Phi. If this rascal had stole it, sure hein haste. would not have ventured to come back again.- Flo. Ay, ay, shave another time. I am confounded ! Neither Don Manuel nor his Trap. Nay, what you please, sir; your beard daughter know me, nor any of his family. If is not much, you may wear it to-day. I should not visit him till I can receive fresh

[Taking her by the chin. letters from my father, he'll in the mean time Flo. Ay, and to-morrow, too : pray, sir, will think himself affronted by my neglect. What you see the coach ready, and put in the things. shall I do?-Suppose I go and tell him my mis- Trap. Sir, l'll see the coach ready, and put fortune, and beg his patience till we can hear in the things.

[Erit TRAP. again from Seville. I must think. Hey, sot! Flo. Come, madam, courage! Now, let's do

(Ereunt. something for the honour of our sex, give a proof

of our parts, and tell mankind we can contrive, Re-enter HYPOLITA, FLORA, and TRAPPANTI.

fatigue, bustle, and bring about as well as the

best of them. Trap. Hold, sir; let me touch up your fore- Hyp. Well said, Flora! for the honour of our

sex be it, then, and let the grave dons think themHyp. So! my gloves.-Well, Trappanti, you selves as wise as they please; but Nature knows know your business, and if I marry the lady, you there goes more wit to the management of some know my promise, too.

amours, than the hardest point in politics; Trap. Sir, I shall remember them both- Therefore, to men the affair of state's confined. 'Odso! I had like to have forgot-Here, house ! Wisely to us the state of love's assigned, a bason and wash-ball-I've a razor about me. As love's the weightier business of mankind. Hey! (Knocks.


top a little.


Vil. That's the most he has.
SCENE I.-Ron MANUEL's house.

Ros. 'Twill do our business.
Enter RosaRa and VILETTA.

Vil. But when you have no portion (which I'ın

afraid you won't have with hiin) he'll soon have Vil. Hear reason.

enough of you, and how will your business be Ros. Talk of Octavio, then.

done then, pray? Vil. How do you know but the gentleman your Ros. Psha ! you talk like a fool. father designs you for, may prove as pretty a fel- Vil. Come, come, if Octavio must be the man, low as he? If you should happen to like him as I say let Don Philip be the husband. well, would not that do your business as well? Ros. I tell you, fool, I'll have no man but an

Ros. Do you expect Octavio should thank you husband, and no husband but Octavio: when you for this?

find I am weary of him, I'll give you leave to talk Vil. The gentleman is no fool.

to me of somebody else. Ros. He'll hate any one that is not a friend to Vil. In vain, I see—I have done, madamhis love.

one must have time to be wise : but, in the mean Vil. Hang them, say I: but can't one quench while, what do you resolve ? positively not lo one's thirst without jumping into the river? Is marry Don Philip? there no difference between cooling and drown- Ros. I don't know what I shall do, till I see ing? Octavio's now in a very good post- keep Octavio. When did he say he would be here? him there. I know the man; he understands Vil. Oh! I dare not tell you, madam. the business he is in to a hair ; but, faith, you'll Ros. Why? spoil him; he's too pretty a fellow, and too poor

Vil. I am bribed to the contrary. a one for an husband.

Ros. By whom? Ros. Poor! he has enough.

Vil. Octavio; he just now sent me this lovely

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