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guess-If these are the tricks of husbands, keep qualities gave me any concern. In my eye, the me a maid still, say I.
woman has no more charms than my mother. Lady Easy. (Looking on the superscription.] Edg. Hum! be takes no notice of me yetTo Sir Charles Easy! Ha! Too well I know this i'll let him see I can take as liule notice of him, hateful hand. O my heart! but I must veil my [She walks by him gravely; he turns her about jealousy, which 'tis not fit this creature should and holds her; she struggles.] Pray, sir ! suppose I am acquainted with. [Aside.] This di Sir Cha. A pretty pert air, that—I'll humour rection is to your master; how came you by it? it-What's the matter, child ? Are not you well?
Edg. Why, madam, as my master was lying Kiss me, hussy. down, after he came in from hunting, he sent me Edy. No, the deuce fetch me if I do! into his dressing-room, to fetch his snuff-bux out Sir Cha. Ilas any thing put thee out of huof his waistcoat pocket; and so, as I was search- mour, love? ing for the box, madam, there I found this wicked Edg. No, sir, 'tis not worth my being out of letter from a mistress; which I had no sooner humour at—though, if ever you have any thing read, but, I declare it, my very blood rose at him to say to me again, I'll be burned. again; methought I could have torn him and
Sir Cha. Somebody has belied me to thee. her to pieces.
Edg. No, sir, 'tis you have belied yourself to Ludy Easy. Intolerable! This odious thing's me -Did not I ask you, when you first made a jealous of hiin herself, and wants me to join with fool of me, if you would be always constant to her in a revenge upon bim-Sure I am fallen, in- me? and did not you say, I might be sure you deed! But 'twere to make me lower yet, to let would? And here, instead of that, you are going her think I understand her.
[Aside. on in your old intrigue with my lady Graveairs. Edg. Nay, pray, madam, read it; you will be Sir Cha. So out of patience at it.
Edg. Beside, don't you suffer my lady to buff me Lady Easy. You are bold, mistress; has my every day as if I were her dog, or had no more indulgence, or your master's good humour, fat- concern with you—I declare I won't bear it, and tered you into the assurance of reading his let- she shan't think to huff me—for aught I know, ters? a liberty I never gave myself-Here—lay I am as agreeable as she : and though she dares it where you had it immediately-Should he know not take any notice of your baseness to her, you of your sauciness, 'twould not be my favour could shan't think to use me so—and so, pray, take protect you.
[Exit Lady Easy. your nasty letter-I know the hand well enough Edg. Your favour! marry come up! sure I --for my part, I won't stay in the family to be don't depend upon your favour! It's not come to abused at this rate : I that have refused lords that, I hope. Poor creature don't you think I am and dukes for your sake. I'd have you to know, my master's mistress for uothing-You shall find, sir, I have had as many blue and green ribbons madam, I won't be snapt up as I have been—Not after me, for aught I know, as would have made but it vexes me to think she should not be as un
me a falbala apron. easy as I. I am sure he is a base man to me, Sir Cha. My lady Graveairs ! my nasty letter! and I could cry my eyes out that she should not and I won't stay in the family! Death! I'm in a think him as bad to her every jot. If I am pretty condition !-What an unlimited privilege wronged, sure she may very well expect it, that has this jade got from being a whore ! is but his wife-A conceited thing-she need not Edg. I suppose, sir, you think to use every be so easy, neither--I am as handsome as she, 1 body as you do your wife? hope-Here's my master-I'll try whether I am sir Cha. My wife! hah! Come hither, Mrs to be huffed by her or no. [Wulks behind. Edging; hark you, drab.
[Seizing her by the shoulder. Enter SiR CHARLES EASY.
Sir Cha. When you speak of my wife, you are Sir Cha. So ! The day is come again !-Life to say your lady, and you are never to speak of but rises to another stage, and the same dull jour- your lady to me in any regard of her being my ney is before us. How like children do we judge wife—for, look you, child, you are not her strumof happiness! When I was stinted in my fortune, pet, but mine; therefore, I only give you leave to almost every thing was a pleasure to me, because be saucy with me. In the next place, you are nemost things then being out of my reach, I had al- ver to suppose there is any such person as my ways the pleasure of hoping for them; now, for- lady Graveairs; and lastly, my pretty one, how tune's in my hand, she is as insipid as an old ac came you by this letter? quaintance-It is mighty silly faith! Just the Edg. It's no matter, perhaps. same thing by my wife, too; I am told she is ex Sir Cha. Aye, but if you should not tell me tremely handsome---nay, and have heard a great quickly, how are you sure I won't take a great many people say, she is certainly the best woman piece of flesh out of your shoulder? - My dear. in the world-Why, I don't know but she may;
(Shakes her. yet I could never find that her person or good Edg. O lud ! O lud! I will tell you, sir.
pose you had ?
Sir Cha. Quickly then.
Lady Easy. Why should you question it? Edg. Oh! I took it out of your pocket, sir.
Smiling on him. Sir Cha. When?
Sir Cha. Because I fancy I am not so good to Edg. Oh! this morning, when you sent me for you as I should be.
Lady Easy. Pshaw ! Sir Cha. And your ladyship's pretty curiosity Sir Cha. Nay, the deuce take me if I don't has looked it over, I presume-sha?
really confess myself so bad, that I have often
[Shakes her again. wondered how any woman of your sense, rank, Edg. O lud! dear sir, don't be angry-indeed and person, could think it worth her while tó I'll never touch one again.
have so many useless good qualities. Sir Cha. I don't believe you will, and I'll tell Lady Easy. Fie, my dear!
you shall be sure you never will. Sir Cha. By my soul, I am serious ! Edg. Yes, sir.
Ludy Easy. I cannot boast of my good qualiSir Cha. By stedfastly believing, that the next ties, nor, if I could, do I believe you think them time you
offer it, you will have your pretty white useless. neck twisted behind you,
Sir Cha. Nay, I submit to you-Don't you Edg. Yes, sir.
[Curt'sying. find them so ? Do you perceive that I am one Sir Cha. And you will be sure to remeinber tittle the better husband for your being so good every thing I have said to you?
a wife? Edg. Yes, sir.
Ludy Easy. Pshaw! you jest with me. Sir Cha. And now, child, I was not angry with Sir Cha. Upon my life I don't--Tell me your person, bnt your follies; which, since I truly, was you never jealous of me? find you are a little sensible of-don't be wholly Lady Eusy. Did I ever give you any sign of discouraged-for I believe II shall have occa- it? sion for you again
Sir Cha. Um-that's true-but do you really Edg. Yes, sir.
think I never gave you occasion? Sir Cha. In the mean time, let me hear no Lady Easy. That's an odd question—but supmore of your lady, child. Edg. No, sir.
Sir Cha. Why then, what good has your virSir Cha. Here she comes : begone!
tue done you, since all the good qualities of it Edg: Yes, sir-Oh! I was never so frightened could not keep me to yourself? in my life.
Lady Easy. What occasion have you given Sir Cha. So ! good discipline makes good me to suppose I have not kept you to myself? soldiers It often puzzles me to think, from Sir Cha. I given you occasion-Fie! My my own carelessness, and my wife's continual dear-you may be sure—I-look you, that is not good humour, whether she really knows any the thing, but still 24(death! what a blunder thing of the strength of my forces--I'll sift her a have I made ?)a-still, I say, madam, you little.
shan't make me believe you have never been
jealous of me; not that you ever had any real Enter Lady Easy.
cause, but I know women of your principles
have more pride than those that have no prinMy dear, how do you do? You are dressed very ciples at all; and where there is pride, there early to-day: are you going out?
must be some jealousy-so that, if you are Lady Easy. Only to church, my dear, jealous, my dear, you know you wrong me, Sir Cha. Is it so late, then?
andLady Easy. The bell has just rung.
Lady Easy. Why, then, upon my word, my Sir Chu. Well, child, how does Windsor air dear, I don't know that ever I wronged you that agree with you? Do you find yourself any better way in my life. yet? or have you a mind to go to London again? Sir Cha. But suppose I had given a real cause
Lady Easy. No, indeed, my dear; the air is so to be jealous, how would you do then? very pleasant, that if it were a place of less Ludy Easy. It must be a very substantial one company, I could be content to end my days that makes me jealous. here.
Sir Cha. Say it were a substantial one ; supSir Cha. Prithee, my dear, what sort of cam pose, now, I were well with a woman of your own pany would most please you?
acquaintance, that, under pretence of frequent Lady Easy. When business would permit it, visits to you, should only come to carry on an yours; and, in your absence, a sincere freind, that affair with me-suppose, now, my lady Graveairs were truly happy in an honest husband, to sit a and I were great ? cheerful hour, and talk in mutual praise of our Lady Eusy. Would I could not suppose it! condition.
[Aside. Sir Cha. Are you then really very happy, my Sir Cha. If I come off here, I believe I ain dear?
pretty safe. [ Aside.)-Suppose, I say, my lady
Graveairs and I were so very familiar, that not notice of my lord's being in town.
Lady Easy. Then I should cry myself sick in her there, I'll call at her lodgings.
Lady Easy. My dear, your servant. Sir Cha. The most convenient piece of virtue,
[Erit Lady Easy. sure, that ever wife was mistress of. [Aside. Sir Cha. My dear, I'm yours.
Well! Lady Easy. But pray, my dear, did you ever one way or other, this woman will certainly bring think that I had any ill thoughts of my lady | about her business with me at last ; for though Graveairs?
she cannot make me happy in her own person, Sir Cha. O fie, child! only you know she and she lets me be so intolerably easy with the woI used to be a little free sometimes; so I had a men that can, that she has at least brought mind to see if you thought there was any harm me into a fair way of being as weary of them, in it; but since I find you very easy, I think myself too. obliged to tell you, that, upon my soul, my dear, I have so little regard to her person, that the Enter Serrant and LORD MORELOVE. deuce take me, if I would not as soon have an affair with thy woman.
Ser. Sir, my lord's come. Lady Easy. Indeed, my dear, I should as soon Lord Nor. Dear Charles ! suspect you with one as t'other.
Sir Cha. My dear lord ! this is an happiness Sir Cha. Poor dear-should'st thou-give me undreamt of; I little thought to have seen you a kiss.
at Windsor again this season! I concluded, of Lady Easy. Pshaw! you don't care to kiss course, that books and solitude had secured you
'till winter. Sir Cha. By my soul, I do! I wish I Lord Mor. Nay, I did not think of coming may die, if I don't think you a very fine woman! myself, but I found myself not very well in Lon
Lady Easy. I only wish you would think me don; so I thought-a-little hunting, and this a good wife. [Kisses her.] But pray, my dear, airwhat has made you so strangely inquisitive ? Sir Cha. Ha! ha! ha!
Sir Cha. Inquisitive !-Why--a-1 don't know, Lord Mor. What do you laugh at? one is always saying one foolish thing or another Sir Cha. Only because you should not go on -Toll le roll !' (Sings and talks.] My dear, with your story: if you did but see how silly a what! are we never to have any ball here! man fumbles for an excuse, when he is a little Toll le roll! I fancy I could recover my dan- ashamed of being in love, you would not wonder cing again, if I would but practise. Tõll loll what I laugh at; ha, ha, ha! loll!
Lord Mor. Thou art a very happy fellow Lady Easy. This excess of carelessness to me nothing touches thee-always easy—Then you excuses half his vices. If I can make him once conclude I follow lady Betty again think seriously-Time yet may be my friend, Sir Cha. Yes, faith do I and, to make you
easy, my lord, I cannot see why a man, that can Enter a Servant.
ride fifty miles after a poor stag, should be ashamSer. Sir, lord Morelove gives his service ed of running twenty in chase of a fine woman, Sir Cha. Lord Morelove? where is he? that, in all probability, will show him so much Ser. At the Chocolate-house; he called me the better sport, too.
[Embracing. to him as I went by, and bid me tell your hon Lord Mor. Dear Charles, don't fatter my disour he'll wait upon you presently.
temper; I own I still follow her: do you think Lady Easy. I thought you had not expected her charins have power to excuse me to the him here again this season, my dear.
world? Sir Cha. I thought so, too; but you see there's Sir Cha. Aye! aye! a fine woman's an excuse no depending upon the resolution of a man that's før any thing, and the scandal of our being in in love.
jest, is a jest itself; we are all forced to be Lady Easy. Is there a chair?
their fools, before we can be their favourites. Ser. Yes, madam.
[Erit Servant. Lord Vlor. You are willing to give me bope; Lady Eusy. I suppose lady Betty Modish has but I can't believe she has the least degree of indrawn him hither.
clination for me. Sir Cha. Aye, poor soul, for all his bravery, Sir Cha. I don't know that I am sure her I am afraid so.
pride likes you, and that's generally your fine Lady Easy. Well, my dear, I ha'nt time to ask ladies' darling passion. my lord how he does now; you'll excuse me to Lord Mor. Do you suppose, if I could grow him, but I hope vou'll make him dine with us. indifferent, it would touch her?
Sir Cha. l'll ask him. If you see lady Betty Sir Cha. Sting her to the heart Will you at prayers, make her dine, too; but don't take any take my advice?
Lord Mor, I have no relief but that. Had Sir Cha. My wife is gone to invite her; when I not thee now and then to talk an hour, my you see her first, be neither too humble, nor life were insupportable.
too stubborn ; let her see, by the ease in your beSir Cha. I am sorry for that, my lord ;-but haviour, you are still pleased in being near her, mind what I say to you—but hold, first let while she is upon reasonable terms with you. me know the particulars of your quarrel with This will either open the door of an eclaircisseher.
ment, or quite shut it against you—and if she Lord Mor. Why--about three weeks ago, is still resolved to keep you outwhen I was last here at Windsor, she had for Lord Mor. Nay, if she insults me, then, persome days treated me with a little more reserve, haps, I may recover pride enough to rally her by and another with more freedom, than I found an overacted submission. myself easy at.
Sir Cha. Why, you improve, my lord! this is Sir Cha. Who was that other?
the very thing I was going to propose to you. Lord Mor. One of my lord Foppington's Lord Mor. Was it, faith! hark you,
you gang--the pert coxcomb that's just come to stand by me? a small estate and a great periwig-he that Sir Cha. Dare I! aye, to my last drop of assings himself among the women What do surance, against all the insolent airs of the proudyou call him? ---He won't speak to a com est beauty in Christendom. moner when a lord is in company--you al Lord Mor. Nay, then, defiance to her-We ways see him with a cane dangling at his button, two—Thou hast inspired me I find myself as his breast open, no gloves, one eye tucked under valiant as a flattered coward. his hat, and a tooth-pick-Startup, that's Sir Cha. Courage, my lord; I'll warrant we
beat her. Sir Cha. O! I have met him in a visit-but Lord Mor. My blood stirs at the very thought pray go on.
on't: I long to be engaged. Lord Mor. So, disputing with her about the Sir Cha. She will certainly give ground, when conduct of women, I took the liberty to tell her she once sees you are thoroughly provoked. how far I thought she erred in hers. She told me Lord Mor, Dear Charles, thou art a friend, I was rude, and that she would never believe
Enter a Servant.
Sir Cha. Yes; I heard last night he was come. told me, she desired to be alone, that I would Give my service to his lordship, and tell him I take my odious proud heart along with me, and should be glad he will do me the honour of his trouble her no morebowed very low, ( company here at dinner. [Erit Servant.] We and, as I left the room, vowed I never would, may have occasion for him in our design upon and that my proud heart should never be huin- Lady Betty. bled by the outside of a fine woman-About an
Lord Mor. What use can we make of him? hour after, I whipped into my chaise for Lon Sir Cha. We'll see when he comes; at least, don, and have never seen her since.
there is no danger in him; but I suppose you Sir Cha. Very well; and how did you
know he is your rival.
Lord Mor. Pshaw! a coxcomb. Lord Mor. I am almost ashamed to tell you Sir Cha. Nay, don't despise him neitherI found her so much in the right, that I cursed my he is able to give you advice; for, though he is pride for contradicting her at all, and began to in love with the same woman, yet, to him, she hils think, according to her maxim, that no woman not charms enough to give a minute's pain. could be in the wrong to a man that she had in Lord Mor. Prithee, what sense has he of love? power.
Sir Cha. Faith, very near as much as a man of Sir Cha. Ha, ha! Well, I'll tell you what you sense ought to have; I grant you he knows not shall do. You can see her without trembling, I how to value a woman truly deserving, but he hope?
has a pretty just esteem for most ladies about Lord Mor. Not if she receives me well. Sir Cha. If she receives you well, you will
Lord Mor. That he follows, I grant you have no occasion for what I am going to say to
for he seldom visits any of extraordinary reputayou first you shall dine with her.
tion. Lord Mor. How! where! when!
Sir Cha. Have a care! I have seen him at lady
Lord Mor. To be laughed at.
Sir Cha. Don't be too confident of that; the sex, will go near to piquc him-We must have women now begin to laugh with him, not at him: him. for he really sometimes rallies his own humour Lord Mor. As you please--but what shall we with so much ease and pleasantry, that a great do with ourselves till dinner? many women begin to think he has no follies at Sir Cha. What think you of a party at picall, and those he has, have been as much owing quet? to his youth, and a great estate, as want of natu Lord Mor. O! you are too hard for me. ral wit : 'tis true, he often is a bubble to his Sir Cha. Fie! fie! when you play with his pleasures, but he has always been wisely vain grace? enough to keep himself from being too much the Lord lor. Upon my honour, he gives me three ladies' humble servant in love.
points. Lord Mor. There, indeed, I almost envy hin. Sir Cha. Does he? Why, then, you shall give Sir Cha. The easiness of his opinion upon the me but two--Here, fellow, get cards. Allons !
SCENE I.- LADY Betty Modisu's lodgings. I followed by the women: so that, to be success
ful in one's fancy, is an evident sign of one's beEnter Lady Betty, and Lady Easy, ineeting.
ing admired; and I always take admiration for
the best proof of beauty, and beauty certainly is Lady Bet. On, my dear! I am overjoyed to the source of power, as power, in all creatures, is see you! I am strangely happy to-day! i have the height of happiness. just received my new scart from London, and Lady Easy. Ai this rate, you would rather be you are most critically come to give me your opi- thought beautiful than good? nion of it.
Lady Bet. As I had rather conimand, than Lady Easy. Oh, your servant, madam; I am obey : the wisest homely woman can't make a a very indifferent judge, you know. What, is it man of sense of a fool; but the veriest fool of a with sleeves ?
beauty shall make an ass of a statesman; so that, Lady Bet. Oh, 'tis impossible to tell you in short, I can't see a woman of spirit has any what it is! - 'Tis all estraragance, both in mode business in this world but to dress and make and fancy, my dear. I believe there's six thou-'| the inen like her. sand yards of edging in ir-Then, such an en Lady Eusy. Do you suppose this is a principle chanting slope from the elbow-something so the men of sense will admire you for? new, so lively, so noble, so coquette and charm Lady Bct. I do suppose, that when I suffer ing -but you shall sce it, my dear
any man to like my person, he shan't dare to Lady Easy. Indeed, I won't, my dear; I am find fault with my principle. resolved to mortify you for being so wrongfully Lady Eusy. But inen of sense are not so easily fond of a trifle.
humbled. Lady Bet. Nay, now, my dear, you are ill Lady Bet. The easiest of any; one has ten natured.
thousand times the trouble with a coxcomb. Lady Easy. Why, truly, I'm half angry to see Lady Easy. Nay, that may be; for I have a woman of your sense so warmly concerned in scen you throw away more good humour, in the care of her outside; for, when we have taken hopes of a tendresse from my lord Foppington, our best pains about it, 'tis the beauty of the who loves all wonien alike, than would have mind alone that gives us lasting virtue.
made my lord Morelove perfectly happy, who Lady Bet. Ah, my
loves only you. have been a married woman to a fine purpose, Lady Bet. The men of sense, my dear, make indeed, that know so little of the taste of man the best fools in the world : their sincerity and kind. Take my word, a new fashion upon a fine good breeding throws them so entirely into one's woman is often a greater proof of her value, power, and gives one such an agreeable thirst of than you are aware of.
using them ill, to shew that power'tis impossiLady Easy. That I can't comprehend; for you ble not to quench it. see among the men, nothing's more ridiculous Lady Easy. But, methinks, my lord Morethan a new fashion. Those of the first sense are love's inanner to you might move any woman to always the last that come into them.
a kinder sense of his merit. Lady Bet. That is, because the only merit Lady Bet. Aye, but would it not be hard, my of a man is his sense; but, doubtless, the great dear, for a poor weak woman to have a man of est value of woman is her beauty. An homely his quality and reputation in her power, and not woman, at the head of a fashion, would not be al to let the world see him there? Would any crealowed in it by the men, and consequently not ture sit new dressed all day in her closet Could