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you bear to have a sweet-fancied suit, and never apt to choose that the flies have been busy with, shew it at the play, or the drawing-room? ha, ha, ha!
Lady Easy. But one would not ride in it, me Lady Easy. Thou art a strange giddy creathinks, or harass it out, when there's no occasion. ture !
Lady Bet. Pooh! my lord Morelove's a mere Lady Bet. That may be from so much circuIndian damask, one can't wear him out; o' iny lation of thought, my dear. conscience, I must give him to my woman at Lady Easy. But my lord Foppington's marrilast; I begin to be known by him : had not I ed, and one would not fool with himn, for his labest leave him off, my dear? for, poor soul, I dy's sake; it may make her uneasy, and believe I have a little fretted himn of late,
Lady Bet. Poor creature ! Her pride, indeed, Lady Easy. Now, 'tis to me amazing, how a makes her carry it off without taking any notice man of his spirit can bear to be used like a dog of it to me; though I know she hates me in her for four or five years together—but nothing's a heart, and I cannot endure malicious people; so wonder in love; yet pray, when you found you I used to dine with her once a week, purely to could not like him at first, why did you ever en- give her disorder; if you had but seen when my courage him?
lord and I fooled a little, the creature looked so Lady Bet. Why, what would you have one ugly! do? for my part, I could no more choose a man Lady Easy. But I should not think my repuby my eye, than a shoe; one must draw them on tation safe; my lord Foppington's a man that a little, to see if they are right to one's foot. talks often of his amours, but seldom speaks of
Lady Easy. But I'd no more fool on with a favours that are refused him. man I could not like, than I'd wear a shoe that Lady Bet. Pshaw! will any thing a man says pinched me.
make a woman less agreeable? Will his talking Lady Bet. Aye, but then a poor wretch tells spoil one's complexion, or put one's hair out of one, he'll widen them, or do any thing, and is so order? and for reputation-look you, my dear, civil and silly, that one does not know how to take it for a rule, that, as amongst the lower rank turn such a trifle, as a pair of shoes, or an heart, of people, no woman wants beauty that has forupon a fellow's hands again.
tune; so, among people of fortune, no woman Lady Easy. Well; I confess you are very hap- wants virtue, that has beauty : but an estate and pily distinguished among most women of fortune, beauty joined, are of an unlimited, nay, a power to have a man of my lord Morelove's sense and pontifical, make one not only absolute, but infalquality so long and houourably in love with
lible A fine woman's never in the wrong; or, for, now-a-days, one hardly ever hears of such a if we were, 'tis not the strength of a poor creathing as a man of quality in love with the wo ture's reason that can unfetter hiin. Oh, how I man he would marry. To be in love, now, is love to hear a wretch curse himself for loving only to have a design upon a woman, a modish on, or now and then coming out with away of declaring war against her virtue, which they generally attack first, by toasting up her va Yet for the plague of human race, nity.
This devil has an angel's face. Lady Bet. Ave, but the world knows, that is not the case between my lord and me.
Lady Easy. At this rate, I don't see you allow Lady Easy. Therefore, I think you happy. reputation to be at all essential to a fine woman?
Lady Bet. Now, I don't see it; I'll swear Lady Bet. Just as much as honour to a great I'm better pleased to know there are a great ma Power is always above scandal. Don't ny foolish fellows of quality that take occasion to you hear people say the king of France owes toast me frequently.
most of his conquests to breaking his word, and Lady Easy. I vow I should not thank any gei- would not the confederates have a fine time on't, tleman for toasting me, and I have often won if they were only to go to war with reproaches ? dered how a woman of your spirit could hear a Indeed, my dear, that jewel reputation is a very great many other freedoms I have seen some fanciful business! One shall not see a homely men take with you.
creature in town, but wears it in her mouth as Lady Bet. As how, my dear? Come, prithee, monstrously as the Indians do bobs at their lips, be free with me, for, you must know, I love dear- and it really becomes them just alike. ly to hear my faults-Who is't you have obser Lady Easy. Have a care, my dear, of trusting ved to be too free with me?
too far to power alone: for nothing is more ridiLady Easy. Why, there's iny lord Foppington; culous than the fall of pride; and woman's pride, could any woman but you bear to see him with a at best, may be suspected to be more a distrust, respectful fleer stare full in her face, draw up than a real contempt of mankind : for, when we his breath, and cry-Gad, you're handsome? have said all we can, a deserving husband is cer- v
Lady Bet. My dear, fine fruit will have flies tainly our best happiness; and I don't question about it; but, poor things, they do it no harm : but iny lord Morelove's merit, in a little time, for, if you observe, people are generally most will make you think so, too; for, whatever airs Vol. II,
you give yourself to the world, I'm sure your Lord More. Her pride, and your indifference, heart don't want yood-nature.
must occasion a pleasant scene, sure; what do Ludy Bet. You are mistaken; I am very ill- you intend to do? natured, though your good-humour won't let you Sir Cha. Treat her with a cold familiar air, till
I pique her to forbid me her sight, and then take Ludy Easy. Then, to give me a proof on't, let her at her word. me see you refuse to go immediately and dine Lord More. Very gallant and provoking. with me, after I have promised sir Charles to
Enter a Servant, bring you. Lady Bet, Pray, don't ask me.
Ser. Sir, my lord Foppington, Lady Easy. Why?
(Erit Servant. Lady Bet. Because, to let you see I hate good Sir Cha. Ob-now, my lord, if you have a nature, I'll go without asking, that you mayn't mind to be let into the mystery of making love have the malice to say I did you a favour. without pain, here's one that's a master of the Lady Easy. Thou art a mad creature. art, and shall declaim to you[Exeunt arm in arm.
Enter LORD FOPPINGTON.
My dear lord Foppington! SCENE II.-Changes to Sir Charles's lodgingi. Lord MORELOVE and Sir Charles at
Lord For. My dear agreeable! Que je t'em
brasse! Pardi ! Il y a cent ans que je ne t'ai vu picquet.
-my lord, I am your lordship’s most obedient Sir Cha. Come, my lord, one single game for humble servant. the tout, and so have done.
Lord More. My lord, I kiss your hands-I Lord More. No, haug them, I have enough of hope we shall have you here some time; you them! ill cards are the dullest company in the seem to have laid in a stock of health to be in world--Uow much is it?
at the diversions of the place-You look extremeSir Cha. Three parties.
ly well. Lord More. Fitieen pounds very well.
Lord Fop. To see one's friends look so, my [l'hile Lord MortLOVE counts out his money, a lord, may easily give a vermeille to one's com
servant gives Sir Charles a letter, which plexion. he reads to himself.]
Sir Cha. Lovers in hope, my lord, always have Sir Cha. [To the Servunt.}--Give my service; a visible brilliant in their eyes and air. say I have company dines with me; if I have time Lord Fop. What dost thou mean, Charles? I'll call there in the atternoon-ha, ha, ha!
Sir Cha. Come, come, confess what really
[Erit Servant. brought you to Windsor, now you have no busiLord More. What's the matter there
[Paying the money. Lord Fop. Why, two hours, and six of the Sir Cha. The old affair-my lady Graveairs. best nags in Christendom, or the devil drive me !
Lord llore. Oh! Prithee, how does that go Lord More. You make haste, my lord. on?
Lord Fop. My lord, I always fly when I purSir Cha. As agreeably as a chancery suit : for sue-But they are all well kept, undeed—I love now it comes to the intolerable plague of my not to have creatures go as I bid them. You have being able to get rid ou’t; as you may see seen them, Charles; but so has all the world;
(Giving the letter. Foppington's long tails are known on every road Lord More. Reaus.]— Your behaviour, since in England. * I came to Windsor, has convinced me of your Sir Chu. Well, my lord, but how came they villainy, without my being surprised, or angry at to bring you this road? You don't use to take
I desire you would let me see you at my these irregular jaunts, without some design in • lodging, immediately, where I shall have a bet- your head, of having more than nothing to do. ter opportunity to convince you, that I never
Pshaw! Pox! Prithee, Charles, can, or positively will, be as I have been thou knowest I am a fellow sans consequence, be * Yours,' &c. A very whimsical letter ! Faith, I where I will. think she has hard luck with you : if a man were Sir Cha. Nay, nay, this is too much among obliged to have a mistress, her person and condi- friends, my lord; come, come, we must have it; tion seem to be cut out for the ease of a lover : your real business here? for she's a young, handsome, wild, well-jointured Lord Fop. Why, then, entre nous, there is a widow-But what's your quarrel?
certain fille de joye about the court, here, that Sir Cha. Nothing--She sees the coolness hap- loves winning at cards better than all the things pens to be first on my side, and her business I have been able to say to her, so I have with me vow, I suppose, is to convince me how brought an odd thousand bill in my pocket, that heartily she's vesed that she was not before-hand I design, tête-à-tête, to play off with her at with me.
picquet, or so; and now the business is out,
I should expect
Sir Cha. Ah, and a very good business, too, iny
Lord More. I believe there are a great many lord.
in the world that are sorry 'tis not in their power Lord Fop. If it be well done, Charles to unmarry her.
Sir Cha. That's as you manage your cards, my Lord Fop. I am a great many in the world's lord.
very humble servant; and, whenever they find it Lord More. This must be a woman of conse is in their power, their high and mighty wisquence, by the value you set upon her favours. doms may command me at a quarter of an hour's
Sir Cha. Oh, nothing's above the price of a warning. fine woman.
Lord More. Pray, my lord, what did you marLord Fop. Nay, look you, gentlemen, the ry for? price may not happen to be altogether so high, Lord Fop. To pay my debts at play, and disneither--For I fancy I know enough of the inherit my younger brother. game, to make it an even bet, I get her for no Lord Alore. But there are some things due to thing.
a wife. Lord More. How so, my lord ?
Lord Fop. And there are some debts I don't Lord Fop. Because, if she happen to lose a
care to pay
-to both which I plead-husband, good sum to me, I shall buy her with her own and-my lord.
Lord More. If I should do so, Lord More. That's new, I confess.
to have my own coach stopt in the street, and Lord Fop. You know, Charles, 'tis not impos- to meet my wife with the windows up in a hacksible but I may be five hundred pounds deepney, with her-then, Lills may tall short, and the de Lord Fop. Then would I put in bail, and orvil's in't if I want assurance to ask her to pay der a separate maintenance, some way or other.
Lord More. So, pay the double the sum of the Sir Cha. And a man must be a churl, indeed, debt, and be married for nothing. that won't take a lady's personal security; ha, ha, Lord Fop. Now, I think deterring a dun, and ha!
getting rid of one's wife, are two the mo- agreeLord Fop. He, he, he! Thou art a devil, able sweets in the liberties of an English subCharles !
ject. Lord More. Death! Ilow happy is this cox Lord More. If I were married, I would as comb?
soon part from my estate as my wife.
[Aside. Lord Fop. Now, I would not; sun-burn me if Lord Fop. But, to tell you the truth, gentle. I would ! men, I had another pressing temptation that Lord More. Death! but, since you are so inbrought me hither, which wasmy wite. different, my lord, why would you needs marry a
Lord More. That's kind, indeed; my lady has woman of so much merit? Could not you have been here this month : she'll be glad to see you. laid out your spieen upon some ill-natured shrew,
Lord Fop. That I don't know; for I design that wanted the plague of an ill husband, and this afternoou to send her to London.
have let her alone to some plain, honest man or Lord Vlore. What the same day you come, quality, that would have deserved her? my lord ? that would be cruel.
Lord Fop. Why, faith, my lord, that might Lord Fop. Aye, but it will be mighty conve- have been considered; but I really grew so pasnient; for she is positively of no manner of use sionately fond of her fortune, that, curse catch in my amours.
me, I was quite blind to the rest of her good quaLord More. That's your fault; the town thinks lities : for, to tell you the truth, if it had been her a very deserving woman.
possible the old put of a peer could have tossed Lord Fop. If she were a woman of the town, ime in t'other five thousand for them, by my conperhaps I should think so, too ; but she happens sent, she should have relinquished her merit and to be my wife, and, when a wife is once given to virtues to any of her other sisters. deserve more than her husband's inclinations can Sir Cha. Aye, aye, my lord; virtues in a wife pay, in my mind she has no merit at all.
are good for nothing but to make her proud, and Lord More. She's extremely well-bred, and of put the world in mind of her husband's faults. a very prudent conduct.
Lord Fop. Right, Charles : and, strike me Lord Fop. Umaye -the woman's proud blind, but the women of virtue are now grown enough.
such idiots in love, that they expect of a man, Lord More. Add to this, all the world allows just as they do of a coach-horse, that's one apher handsome.
petite, like t'other's flesh, should increase by Lord Fop. The world's extremely civil, my feeding. lord; and I should take it as a favour done me, Sir Cha, Right, my lord; and don't consider, if they could find an expedient to uumarry the that toujours chapons bouillis will never do with poor woman from the only man in the world that an English stomach. cannot think her handsome.
Lord Fop. Ila, ha, ha! To tell you the truth,
Charles, I have known so much of that sort of Lord Mor. I could never find it so—the shame eating, that I now think, for an hearty meal, no or scandal of a repulse always made me afraid wild fowl in Europe is comparable to a joint of of attempting women of condition. Banstead mutton.
Sir Cha. Ha, ha! egad, my lord, you deserve Lord Mor. How do you mean?
used; your modesty's enough to spoil Lord Fop. Why that, for my part, I had ra any woman in the world. But my lord and I unther have a plain slice of my wife's woman, than derstand the sex a little better; we see plainly, my guts full of e'er an Ortolan dutchess in Chris that women are only cold, as some men are brave, tendom.
from the modesty or fear of those that attack Lord Mor. But, I thought, my lord, your chief them. business now at Windsor had been your design Lord Fop. Right, Charles—a man should no upon a woman of quality.
more give up his heart to a woman, than his Lord Fop. That's true, my lord; though I don't sword to a bully; they are both as insolent as the think your fine lady the best dish myself, yet a devil after it. man of quality can't be without such things at Sir Cha. How do you like that, my lord ? his table.
[Așide to LORD MORELOVE, Lord Mor. Oh, then, you only desire the re Lord Mor. Faith, I envy him !-But, my lord, putation of an affair with her?
suppose your inclination should stumble upon a Lord Fop. I think the reputation is the most woman truly virtuous, would not a severe repulse inviting part of an amour with most women of from such an one put you strangely out of counquality.
tenance? Lord Mor. Why so, my lord ?
Lord Fop. Not at all, my lord-for, if a man Lord Fop. Why, who the devil would run don't mind a box o' the ear in a fair struggle with through all the degrees of form and ceremony, a fresh country girl, why the deuce should he be that lead one up to the last favour, if it were not concerned at an impertinent frown for an attack for the reputation of understanding the nearest upon a woman of quality? way to get over the difficulty ?
Lord Mor. Then, you have no notion of a Lord Mor. But, my lord, does not the repu- lady's cruelty? tation of your being so general an undertaker Lord Fop. Ha, ha ! let me blood, if I think frighten the women from engaging with you? there's a greater jest in nature! I am ready to For, they say, no man can love but one at a crack my guts with laughing, to see a senseless time.
flirt, because the creature happens to have a litLord Fop. That's just one more than ever I tle pride, that she calls virtue, about her, give came up to : for, stop my breath, if ever I loved herself all the insolent airs of resentment and in my life!
disdain to an honest fellow, that, all the while, Lord Mor. How do you get them, then? does not care three pinches of snuff if she and
Lord Fop. Why, sometinies, as they get other her virtue were to run, with their last favours, people : I dress, and let them get me; or, if through the first regiment of guards !-Ha, ha! that won't do, as I got my title, I buy them. it puts me in mind of an affair of mine, so im
Lord Mor. But, how can you, that profess pertinent !indifference, think it worth your while to come Lord Mor. Oh, that's impossible, my lord ? so often up to the price of a woman of quality? Pray, let's hear it.
Lord Fop. Because, you must know, my lord, Lord Fop. Why, I happened once to be very that most of them begin, now, to come down to well in a certain man of quality's family, and his reason; I mean those that are to be had; for wife liked me! some die fools : but, with the wiser sort, 'tis not, Lord Mor. How do you know she liked you? of late, so very expensive ; now and then, a par Lord Fop. Why, from the very moment I told tie quarré, a jaunt or two in a hack to an Indian her I liked her, she never durst trust herself at house, a little china, an odd thing for a gown, the end of a room with me. or -o; and, in three days after, you meet her at Lord Mor. That might be her not liking you. the conveniency of trying it chez Mademoiselle Lord Fop. My lord-Women of quality don't d'Epingle.
use to speak the thing plain—but, to satisfy you Mir Cha. Aye, aye, my lord; and when you I did not want encouragement, I never came are there, you know, what between a little chat, there in my life, but she did immediately smile, a dish of tea, mademoiselle's good humour, and and borrow my snuff-box. a pelit chunson or two, the devil's in't if a man Lord Mor. She liked your spuff, at least-Well, can't fool away the time, 'till he sees how it looks but how did she use you? upon her by candle-light.
Lord Fop. By all that's infamous, she jilted Lord Fop. Heh! heh! well said, Charles; eyad, me! I faucy thee and I have unlaced many a reputa
Lord Mor. How! Jilt you? tion there ! Your great lady is as soon un Lord Fop. Ay, death's curse, she jilted me! dressed as her woman
Lord Mor. Pray, let's hear.
Lord Fop. For, when I was pretty well con up the sash, and fell a singing out of the window vinced she had a mind to me, I one day made -so that, you see, my lord, while a man is her a hint of an appointment ; upon which, with not in love, there's no great affliction in missing an insolent frown in her face (that made her look one's way to a woman. as ugly as the devil,) she told me, that, if ever I Sir Cha. Aye, aye, you talk this very well, my came thither again, her lord should know that lord; but, now, let's see how you dare behave she had forbidden me the house before.-Did yourself upon action—dinner's served, and the you ever hear of such a slut?
ladies stay for us - There's one within, has been Sir Cha. Intolerable!
too hard for as brisk a man as yourself. Lord Mor. But, how did her answer agree Lord Mor. I guess who you mean—Have a with you?
care, my lord; she'll prove your courage for you. Lord Fop. Oh, passionately well! for I stared Lord Fop. Will she? then she's an undone full in her face, and burst out a laughing; at creature. For, let me tell you, gentlemen, couwhich, she turned upon her heel, and gave a rage is the whole mystery of making love, and of crack with her fan, like a coach-whip, and bridled more use than conduct is in war; for the bravest out of the room with the air and complexion of fellow in Europe may beat his brains out against an incensed Turkey-cock.
the stubborn walls of a town-But (A servant whispers Sir CHARLES. -Women, born to be controlled, Lord Mor. What did you, then?
Stoop to the forward, and the bold. [Exeunt. Lord Fop. I--looked after her, gaped, threw
est woman in the world, too: for, she'll certain
ly encourage the least offer from me, in hopes of Enter LORD MORELOve, and Sir CHARLES.
revenging her slights upon you. Lord Mor. So ! Did not I bear up bravely? Sir Cha. Right; and the very encouragement
Sir Cha. Admirably! with the best bred inso she gives you, at the same time, will give me a lence in nature; you insulted like a woman of pretence to widen the breach of my quarrel with quality, when her country-bred husband's jealous
her. of her in the wrong place.
Lord Mor. Besides, Charles, I own I am fond Lord Mor. Ha, ha! Did you observe, when of
any attempt that will forward a misunderstandI first came into the rooin, how carelessly she ing there, for your lady's sake. A woman, so truly brushed her eyes over me; and, when the com- good in her nature, ought to have something pany saluted me, stood all the while with her more from a man, than bare occasions to prove face to the window? ha, ha!
her goodness. Sir Cha. What astonished airs she gave her Sir Cha. Why, then, upon honour, my lord, self, when you asked her, what made her so to give you proof that I am positively the best grave upon her old friends!
husband in the world, my wife never yet found Lord Mor. And, whenever I offered any thing in talk, what affected care she took to di Lord Mor. That may be, by her being the best rect her observations of it to a third person ! wife in the world : sbe, may be, won't find you
Sir Cha. I observed she did not eat above the rump of a pigeon all dinner time.
Sir Cha. Nay, if she won't tell a man of his Lord Mor. And how she coloured when I faults, when she sees them, how the deuce should told her her ladyship had lost her stomach! he mend them? But, however, you see I am go
Sir Cha. If you keep your temper, she's un-ing to leave them off as fast as I can. done.
Lord Mor. Being tired of a woman, is, indeed, Lord Mor. Provided she sticks to her pride, a pretty tolerable assurance of a man's not deI believe I may.
signing to fool on with her-Here she comes; Sir Cha. Aye! never fear her; I warrant, in and, if I don't mistake, brimful of reproachesthe humour she is in, she would as soon part You can't take her in a better time--I'll leave with her sense of feeling.
you. Lord Mor. Well, what's to be done next?
Enter LADY GRAVEAIRS. Sir Cha. Only observe her motions : for, by her behaviour at dinner, I am sure she designs Your ladyship's most humble servant. Is the to gall you with my lord Foppington: if so, you company broke up, pray? must even stand her fire, and then play my lady Lady Grave. No, my lord, they are talking of Graveairs upon her, whom I'll immediately pique, basset; my lord Foppington has a mind to tally, and prepare for your purpose.
if your lordship would encourage the table. Lord Mor. I understand you the proper Lord Mor. Oh, madam, with all my heart !