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But, sir Charles, I know, is hard to be got to it: a woman's pride, that is strong enough to refuse I'll leave your ladyship to prevail with him. a man her favours, when he's weary of them
[Erit Lord MoreLOVE. | Ab! [Sir Charles and Lady Graveairs salute coldly, and trifle some time before they
Re-enter LADY GRAVEAIRS.. speak.]
Lady Grave. Look you, sir Charles ; don't Lady Grave. Sir Charles, I sent you a note presume upon the easiness of my temper; for, to this morning
convince you that I am positively in earnest in Sir Cha. Yes, madam; but there were some this matter, I desire you would let me have what passages I did not expect from your ladyship. You letters you have had of mine since you came to seem to tax me with things that
Windsor; and I expect you'll return the rest, as Lady Grave. Look you, sir, 'tis not at all ma I will yours, as soon as we come to London. terial whether I taxed you with any thing or no; Sir Cha. Upon my faith, madam, I never keep I don't desire you to clear yourself; upon my any; I always put snuff in them, and so they word, you may be very easy as to that matter; for my part, I am mighty well satisfied things Lady Grave. Sir Charles, I must have them; are as they are; all I have to say to you is, that for, positively, I won't stir without them. you need not give yourself the trouble to call at Sir Cha. Ha! then, I must be civil, I see. my lodgings this afternoon, if you should have [Aside. Perhaps, madam, I have no mind to time, as you were pleased to send me word--and part with them— So, your servant, sir, that's all
[Going. Lady Grave. Look you, sir, all those sort of Sir Cha. Ilold, madam.
things are in vain, now there's an end of every Ludy Grave. Look you, sir Charles, 'tis not thing between us—If you say you won't give your calling me back that will signify any thing, thein, I must e’en get them as well as I can. I can assure you.
Sir Cha. Ha! that won't do then, I find. Sir Cha. Why this extraordinary haste, madam?
(Aside. Lady Grave. In short, sir Charles, I have Lady Grave. Who's there? Mrs Edgingtaken a great many things from you of late, that, Your keeping a letter, sir, won't keep me, I'll you know, I have often told you, I would posi- assure you. tively bear no longer. But, I see things are in vain, and the more people strive to oblige peo
Enter EDGING. ple, the less they are thanked for it: and, since Edg. Did your ladyship call me, madam? there must be an end of one's ridiculousness one Lady Grave. Ay, child: pray, do me the fatime or other, I don't see any time so proper as vour to fetch my cloak out of the dining-room? the present; and, therefore, sir, I desire you Edg. Yes, madam. would think of things accordingly. Your servant. Sir Cha. Oh, then there's hope again. [Aside. [Going, he holds her. Edg. [la! she looks as if master had
quarSir Cha. Nay, madam, let us start fair, how- relled with her; I hope she's going away in a ever; you ought, at least, to stay till I am as ready buff—she shan't stay for her cloak, I warraut as your ladyship; and, then, it we must part,
her-This is pure. [ Aside. Erit smiling. Adieu, ye silent grots, and shady groves; Lady Grave. Pray, sir Charles, before I yo, Ye soft amusements of our growing loves; give ine leave now, after all, to ask you—why Adieu, ye whispered sighs, that fanned the fire, you have used me thus ? And all the thrilling joys of young
Sir Cha. What is it you call usage, madam?
[Affectedly. Lady Grave. Wby, then, since you will have Lady Grave. Oh, mighty well, sir! I am very it, how comes it you have been so grossly careglad we are at last come to a right understanding, less and neglectful of me of late? Only tell me, the only way I have long wished for; not but I'd seriously, wherein I have deserved this? have you to know I see your design through all Sir Cha. Why, then, seriously, madam your painted ease of resignation : I know you'd give your soul to make me uneasy now.
Re-enter Edging, with a cloak. Sir Cha. Oh, tie, madam! upon my word, 1 We are interruptedwould not make you uneasy, if it were in my Edg. Here is your ladyship's cloak, madam. power.
Ludy Grave. Thank you, Mrs Edging--Oh, Lady Grave. Oh, dear sir, you need not take la! pray will you let somebody get me a chair such care, upon my word; you'll find I can part to the door? with you
without the least disorder; I'll try, at Edg. Humph-She might have told me that least; and so, once more, and for ever, sir, your before, if she had been in such haste to go. servant: not but you must give me leave to tell
[Aside. Erit. you, as my last thought of you, too, that I do Lady Grave. Now, sir. think-you are a villain.
[Exit hastily. Sir Cha. Then, seriously, I say I am of late Sir Cha. Oh, your very humble servant, ma grown so very lazy in my pleasures, that I had dam! [Bowing low.) What a charming quality is rather lose a woman, than go through the plague
and trouble of having or keeping her; and, to have ine love you better and longer, which is not be free, I have found so much, even in my ac in my power to do; and I don't think there is quaintance with you, whom I confess to be a any plague upon earth, like a dun that comes mistress in the art of pleasing, that I am, from for more money than one is ever likely to be able henceforth, resolved to follow no pleasure that rises above the degree of amusement-And that Lady Grave. A dun! Do you take me for a woman that expects I should make her my busi dun, sir? Do I come a dunning to you? ness, why-like my business, is then in a fair
[Walks in a heat. way of being forgot. When once she comes to Sir Cha. Hist! don't expose yourself-here's reproach me with vows, and usage, and stutf--I
company had as lief hear her talk of bills, bonds, and Ludy Grave. I care not—A dun! you shall ejectments: her passion becomes as troublesome see, sir, I can revenge an affront, though I deas a law-suit, and I would as soon converse with spise the wretch that offers it-----A dun! Oh, I my solicitor. In short, I shall never care sixpence could die with laughing at the fancy ! [Erit. for any woman that won't be obedient.
Sir Cha. So---she's in admirable order----Here Lady Grave. I'll swear, sir, you have a very comes my lord; and, I'm afraid, in the very nick free way of treating people; I am glad I am so of his occasion for her. well acquainted with your principles, however--And would have me obedient?
Enter LORD MORELOVE. you Sir Cha. Why not? My wife's so; and, I Lord Mor. Oh, Charles, undone again ! all is think, she has as much pretence to be proud as lost and ruined. your ladyship.
Sir Cha. What's the matter now? Lady Gruve. Lard ! is there no chair to be Lord Mor. I have been playing the fool yonhad, I wonder?
der, even to contempt; my senseless jealousy has
confessed a weakness I never shall forgive myEnter EDGING.
self. She has insulted on it to that degree, too--Edg. Here's a chair, madam.
I can't bear the thought-----Oh, Charles, this deLady Gruve. 'Tis very well, Mrs Edging:-- vil is mistress of my heart! and I could dash my pray, will you let somebody get me a glass of brains out to think how grossly too I have let her fair water?
know it. Edg. Humph--ber huff is almost over, 1 sap Sir Cha. Ah, how it would tickle her if she pose--I see he's a villain still.
[Aside. Erit. saw you in this condition ! ha, ha, ha! Lady Grave. Well, that was the prettiest Lörd Mor. Prithee don't torture me: think fancy about obedience, sure, that ever was. Cer of some present ease, or I shall burst. tainly, a woman of condition must be infinitely Sir Cha. Well, well; let's hear, pray-What happy under the dominion of so generous a lover. has she done to you? lia, ha ! But how came you to forget kiching and whipping Lord Mor. Why, ever since I left you, she all this while Methinks, you should not have has treated me with so much coolness and ill left so fashionable an article out of your schems nature, and that thing of a lord, with so much of government.
laughing ease, such an acquainted, such a spiteful Sir Cha. Um—No, there is too much trou- | familiarity, that, at the last, she saw and trible in that; though I have known them of ad- umphed in iny uneasiness. mirable use in reformation of some humoursome Sir Cha. Well, and so you left the room in a gentlewomen.
pet? Ha! Lady Grave. But one thing inore, and I have Lord Nor. Oh, worse, worse still! for, at last, dove-Pray, what degree of spirit must the with balf shame and anger in my looks, I thrust lady have, that is to make herself happy under myself between my lord and her, pressed her by so much freedom, order, and tranquillity? the hand, and, in a whisper, trembling, begeed
Sir Cha. Oh, she must at least have as much her, in pity of herself and me, to shew her good spirit as your ladyship, or she'd give me no plea- humour, only where she knew it was truly sure in breaking it.
valued : at which, she broke from me, with a Lady Grave. No, that would be troublesome. cold smile, sat her down by the peer, whispered You had better take one that's broken to your bim, and burst into a loud laughter in my face. hand : there are such son's to be hired, I be Sir Cha. Ha, ha! then would I have given lieve; things that will rub your temples in an fifty pounds to have seen your face. Why, what evening, till you fall fast asleep in their laps; in the naine of cominon sense had you to do creatures, too, that think their wayes their reward.
with humility? Will you never have enough ou’t? I fancy, at last, that will be the best method for Death! 'twas setting a lighted match to gunjwwthe lazy passion of a married man, that has out der, to blow yourself up: live it loin any other sense of gratification.
Lord Mor. I see may folly now, Charles. But Sir Cha. Look you, madain; I have loved what shail I do with the remains of life that she you very well a great while; now you would has left me?
Sir Cha. Oh, throw it at her feet, by all Sir Cha. Nothing so plain, my lord. means ! put on your tragedy-face, catch fast hold Lord Fop. Flattering devil ! of her petticoat, whip out your
Enter LADY BETTY. and, in point blank verse, desire her, one way or other, to make an end of the business.
Lady Bet. Pshaw, my lord Foppington ! pri[In a whining tone. thee, don't play the fool now, but give me my Lord Mor, What a fool dost thou make me ! snuff-box-Sir Charles, help me to take it from Sir Cha. I only can shew you as you came
him. out of her hands, my lord.
Sir Cha. You know I hate trouble, madam. Lord Mor. How contemptibly have I behaved Lady Bet. Pooh! you'll make me stay till myself!
prayers are half over now. Sir Cha. That's according as you bear her be Lord Fop. If you'll promise me not to go to haviour.
church, I'll give it you. Lord Mor. Bear it! no—I thank thee, Charles; Lady Bet. I'll promise nothing at all; for pothou hast waked me now: and, if I bear it sitively, I will have it. (Struggling with him. What have you done with my lady Graveairs ? Lord Fop. Then, comparatively, I won't part
Sir Cha. Your business, I believe-She's with it. Ha, ha ! [Struggles with her. ready for you; she's just gone down stairs, and, Lady Bet. Oh, you devil, you have killed my if you don't make haste after her, I expect her arm! Oh!-- Well, if you'll let me have it, l'il back again, with a knife or a pistol presently. give you a better. Lord Mor. I'll go this minute.
Lord Mor. Oh, Charles! that has a view of Sir Cha. No, stay a little: here comes my
distant kindness in it. [ Aside to Sir CHARLES. lord; we'll see what we can get out of him first. Lord Fop. Nay, now, I keep it superlativelyLord Mor. Methinks, now, I could laugh at
I find there's a secret value in it. her.
Lady Bet, Oh, dismal ! Upon my word, I am
only ashamed to give it to you. Do you think Enter Lord Foppington,
I would offer such an odious fancied thing to any Lord Fop. Nay, prithee, Sir Charles, let's have body I had the least value for? a little of thee-We have been so chagrin
Sir Cha. Now it comes a little nearer, mewithout thee, that, stop my breath, the ladies are thinks it does not seem to be any kindness at all. gone half asleep to church for want of thy com
(Aside to Lord MORELOVE. pany.
Lord Fop. Why, reallv, padam, upon second Sir Cha. That's hard, indeed, while your lord-view, it has not extremely the mode of a lady's ship was among them. Is lady Betty gone, too? utensil. Are you sure it never held any thing but
Lord Fop. She was just upon the wing; but I snuff? caught her by the snuff-box, and she pretends to Lady Bet. Oh, you monster ! stay, to see if I'll give it her again, or no.
Lord Fop. Nay, I only ask, because it seems Lord Mor. Death ! 'tis that I gave her, and to me to have very much the air and fancy of the only present she would ever receive from me Monsieur Smoakandsot's tobacco-box. -Ask him low he came by it.
Lord More. I can bear no more. (Aside to Sir CHARLES. Sir Cha. Why, don't, then; I'll step in to the Sir Cha. Prithee don't be uneasy--Did she company, and return to your relief immediately. give it you, my lord?
[Exit Sir CHA. Lord Fop. Faith, Charles, I can't say she did, Lord More. [To Lady Bet.] Come, madam, or she did not; but we were playing the fool, will your ladyship give me leave to end the ditand I took it à la-Pshaw ! I can't tell thee ference? Since the slightness of the thing may let in French neither; but Horace touches it to a you bestow it without any mark of favour, shall I nicety—'twas pignus direptum malè pertinaci. beg it of your ladyship.
Lord Mor. So-but I must bear it--If your Lady Bet. Oh, my lord, nobody sooner-I lordship has a mind to the box, I'll stand by you beg you give it, my lord. [Looking earnestly on in keeping of it.
Lord Fop. who, smiling, gives it to Lord MORE, Lord Fop. My lord, I am passionately obliged and then bows gravely to her.] to you; but I am afraid I cannot answer your
Lord More. Only to have the honour of restohazarding so much of the lady's favour.
ring it to your lordship; and if there be any other Lord Mor. Not at all, my lord : 'tis possible I trifle of mine your lordship has a fancy to, though may not have the same regard to her frown that it were a mistrsss, I don't know any person in your lordship has.
the world that has so good a claim to my resignaLord Fop. That's a bite, I am sure--he'd give tion. a joint of his little finger to be as well with her Lord Fop. Oh, my lord, this generosity will as I am [Aside.] But here she comes—Charles, distract me! stand by me
-Must not a man be a vain cox Lord More. My lord, I do you but common comb, now, to think this creature followed one? | justice. But, from your conversation, I had ne
ver known the true value of the sex. You posi- | brought me to treat her with the same indiffertively understand them the best of any man ence and civility as I now pay your ladyship. breathing; therefore, I think every one of com Lady Bet. And, ten to one, just at that time mon prudence ought to resign to you.
she never thought you such tolerable company. Lord Fop. Then, positively, your lordship is Lord More. That I can't say, madam; for, at the most obliging person in the world; for I'm that time, she grew so affected, there was no sure your judgment can never like any woman judging of her thoughts at all. that is not the finest creature in the universe.
[ Mimicking her. [Bowing to Lady BET. Lady Bet. What, and so you
left the poor laLord More. Oh, your lordship does me too dy! Oh, you inconstant creature ! much honour! I have the worst judgment in the Lord More. No, madam, to have loved her on world; no man has been more deceived in it. had been inconstancy; for she was never two
Lord Fop. Then your lordship, I presume, has hours together the same woman. been apt to chuse in a mask, or by candle-light? (LADY BET. and Lord More. seem to talk.
Lord More. In a mask, indeed, my lord, and, Lord Fop. [Aside.] Ha, ha, ha! I see he has of all masks, the most dangerous.
a mind to abuse her; so I'll even give him an opLord Fop. Pray, what's that, my
portunity of doing his business with her at once Lord More. A bare face.
My lord, I perceive your lordship is Lord Fop. Your lordship will pardon me, if I going to be good company to the lady; and, for don't so readily comprehend how a woman's bare her sake, I don't think it good manners in me to face can hide her face.
Lord More. It often hides her beart, my lord; and therefore I think it sometimes a more dan
Enter Sir CHARLES. gerous mask than a piece of velvet : that's rather Sir Cha. My lord Foppington a mark, than a disguise, of an ill woman. But Lord Fop. Oh, Charles! I was just wanting the mischiefs skulking behind a beauteous form thee-Hark thee I have three thousand segive no warning; they are always sure, fatal, and crets for thee—I have made such discoveries! to innumerable.
tell thee all in one word, Morelove's as jealous of Lady Bet. Oh, barbarous aspersion! My lord me as the devil, he, he, he ! Foppington, have you nothing to say for the poor Sir Cha. Is it possible? Has she given him any women?
occasion ? Lord Fop. I must confess, madam, nothing of Lord Fop. Only rallied him to death upon my this nature ever happened in my course of account; she told me, within, just now, she'd use amours. I always judge the beauteous part of a him like a dog, and begged me to draw off for an woman to be the most agreeable part of her com- opportunity. position; and when once a lady does me the bo Sir Cha. Oh, keep in, while the scent lies, and nour to toss that into my arms, I think myself she is your own, my lord. obliged, in good nature, not to quarrel about the Lord Fop. I can't tell that, Charles; but I am rest of her equipage.
sure she is fairly unharboured; and when once I Lady Bet. Why, ay, my lord, there's some throw off my inclinations, I usually follow them good humour in that, now.
till the game has enough on't: and, between thee Lord More. He's happy in a plain English sto and I, she is pretty well blown, too; she can't mach, madam; I could recommend a dish that's stand long, I believe; for, curse catch me, if I perfectly to your lordship's goût, where beauty have not rid down half a thousand pounds after is the only sauce to it.
her already. Lady Bet. So
Sir Cha. What do you mean? Lord Fop. My lord, when my wine's right, I Lord Fop. I have lost five hundred to her at never care it should be zested.
piquet since dinner. Lord More. I know some ladies would thank Sir Cha. You are a fortunate man, faith! you you for that opinion.
are resolved not to be thrown out, I see. Lady Bet. My lord Morelove is really grown Lord Fop. Hang it, what should a man come such a churl to the women, I don't only think he out for, if he does not keep up to the sport? is not, but can't conceive how he ever could be, Sir Cha. Well pushed, my lord. in love.
Lord Fop. Tayo! have at herLord More. Upon my word, madam, I once Sir Cha, Dawn, down, my lord -ah! 'ware thought I was.
(Smiling: haunches ! Lady Bet. Fie, fie ! how could you think so? Lord Fop. Ah, Charles! [Embracing him.] I fancy now you had only a mind" to domineer Prithee, let's observe a little: there's a foolish over some poor creature, and so you thought you cur, now I have run her to a stand, has a mind to were in love, ha, ha!
be at her by himself, and thou shalt see, she Lord More. The lady I loved, madam, grew won't sir out of her way for him. so unfortunate in her conduct, that, at last, she
[They stand aside. Vol. II,
Lord More. Ha, ha! your ladyship is very Sir Cha. Upon condition you'll speak no more grave of a sudden; you look as if your lover hail of her to me; my lord, do as you please. insolently recovered his common sense.
Lord More. Prithee, pardon I know Lady Bet. And your lordship is so very gay, not what to do. and unlike yourself, one would swear you were Sir Cha. Come along; I'll set you to work, I just come from the pleasure of making your mis- warrant you-Nay, vay, none of your parting tress afraid of you,
oglesWill you go? Lord More. No, faith, quite contrary; for, do Lord More. Yes--and I hope for everyou know, madam, I have just found out, that, [Exit Sir Cha. pulling away Lord MORE. upon your account, I have made myself one of Lord Fop. Ha, ha, ha! Did ever mortal monthe most ridiculous puppies upon the face of the ster set up for a lover with such unfortunate quaearth I have, upon my faith—nay, and so ex. litications? travagantly such, ha, ha, ha! that it is at last be Ludy Bet. Indeed, my lord Morelove has somecome a jest even to myself; and I can't help thing strangely singular in his manner. laughing at it for the soul of me, ha, ha, ha! Lord Fop. I thought I should have burst to Lady Bet. I want to cure bim of that laugh, see the creature pretend to rally, and give him,
| Aside.] My lord, since you are so gene- self the airs of one of us-But, run me through, rous, I'll tell you another secret-Do you know, madam, your ladyship pushed like a fencing mastoo, that I still find, (spite of all your great wis- ter! that last thrust was a coup de grace, I bedom, and my contemptible qualities, as you are lieve: I'm afraid his honour will hardly meet pleased, now and then, to call them) do you know, your ladyship in haste again. I say, that I see, under all this, that you still love Lady Bet. Not unless his second, sir Charles, me with the same helpless passion and can your keeps him better in practice, perhapsWell, vast foresight imagine I won't use you accord- the humour of this creature has done me signal ingly for these extraordinary airs you are pleased service to-day. I must keep it up, for fear of a to give yourself?
[-iside. Lord More. Oh, by all means, madam ! 'tis fit Lord Fop. Never was poor wit so foiled at his you should; and I expect it, whenever it is in your own weapon, sure!, power--Confusion !
[Aside Lady Bet. Wit! had he ever any pretence to Lady Bet. My lord, you have talked to me it? this half hour, without confessing pain. (Pauses, Lord Fop. Ila, ha! he has not much in love, and affects to gape.] Only remember it. I think, though he wears the reputation of a very Lord More. Tell and tortures!
pretty young fellow among some sort of people'; Lady Bet. What did you say, my lord ? but strike me stupid if ever I could discover Lord More. Fire and furies!
common sense in all the progress of his amours : Ludy Bet. Ha, ha! he's disordered-Now I he expects a woman should like him for endeaam easy—My lord Foppington, have you a vouring to convince her, that she has not one mind to your revenge at piquet?
good quality belonging to the whole composition Lord Fop. I have always a mind to an oppor- of her soul and body. tunity of entertaining your ladyship, madam. Lady Bet. That, I suppose, is only in a mo
[Lady Ber. coquettes with Lonp For. dest hope, that she'll mend her faults, to quality Lord More. Oh, Charles ! the insolence of herself for his vast merit, ha, ha! woman might furnish out a thousand devils.
Lord Fop. Poor Morelove! I see she can't Sir Cha. And your temper is enough to furnish endure bim.
(Aside. ont a thousand such women. Come away; Ir Lady Bet. Or if one really had all those faults, have business for you upon the terrace.
lie does not consider, that sincerity in love is as Lord More. Let me but speak one word to much out of fashion as sweet snuit; nobody takes her.
Sir Cha. Not a syllable. The tongue's a wea Lord Fop. Oh, no mortal, madam, unless it be pon you'll always have the worst at; for I see you here and there a squire, that's making his lawful have no guard, and she carries a devilish edge. court to the cberry-cheek charms of my lord bis
Lady Bet. My lord, don't let any thing I have | shop's great fat daughter in the country said frighten you away; for, if you have the least Lady Bet. O) what a surfeiting couple has he inclination to stay and rail, you know the old put together :conditions ; 'tis but your asking me pardon the [Throwing her hand carelessly upon his. next day, and you may give your passion any li Lord Hop. Fond of me, by all that's tender! berty you think fit.
Poor fool! I'll give thee ease
e immediately. [Aside.) Lord More. Daggers and death!
But, madam, you were pleased just now to offer Sir Cha. Is the man distracted?
me my revenge at picquet. Now, here's noboLord More. Let me speak to her now, or I dy within, and I think we can't make use of a shall burst,