Lady Bet. O! no: not now, my lord! have a favour I would fain beg of you first. Lord Fop. But time, madam, is very precious in this place, and I shall not easily forgive myself if I don't take him by the forelock. Lady Bet. But I have a great inind to have a little more sport with my lord Morelove first, and would fain beg your assistance. Lord Fop. O! with all my heart; and, upon second thoughts, I don't know but piquing a rival in public may be as good sport as being well with a mistress in private: for, after all, the pleasure of a fine woman is like that of her virtue, not so much in the thing, as the reputation of having it. [Aside.] Well, madam, but how can I serve you in this affair? Lady Bet. Why, methought, as my lord Morelove went out, he shewed a stern resentment in his look, that seemed to threaten me with rebellion, and downright defiance. Now, I have a great fancy that you and I should follow him to the Terrace, and laugh at his resolution before he has time to put it in practice. Lord Fop. And so punish his fault before he commits it! ha, ha, ha! Lady Bet. Nay, we won't give him time, if his courage should fail, to repent it. Lord Fop. Ha, ha, ha! let me blood, if I don't long to be at it, ha, ha! Lady Bet. O! 'twill be such diversion to see him bite his lips, and broil within, only with seeing us ready to split our sides in laughing at nothing! ha, ha! Lord Fop. Ha, ha! I see the creature does really like me. [Aside.] And, then, madam, to hear him hum a broken piece of a tune, in affectation of his not minding us-'twill be so foolish, when we know he loves us to death all the while, ha, ha! Lady Bet. And if, at last, his sage mouth should open in surly contradiction of our humour, then will we, in pure opposition to his, imme diately fall foul upon every thing that is not gal SCENE I.-The Castle Terrace. lant and fashionable: constancy shall be the mark of age and ugliness, virtue a jest, we'll rally discretion out of doors, lay gravity at our feet, and only love, free love, disorder, liberty, and pleasure, be our standing principles. Lord Fop. Madam, you transport me! for ever I was obliged to nature for any one tolerable qualification, 'twas positively the talent of being exuberantly pleasant upon this subject-I am impatient-my fancy's upon the wing already let's fly to him. Lady Bet. No, no; stay till I am just got out; our going together won't be so proper. Lord Fop. As your ladyship pleases, madam; but, when this affair is over, you won't forget that I have a certain revenge due. Lady Bet. Aye, aye! after supper I am for you-Nay, you shan't stir a step, my lord! [Seeing her to the door. Lord Fop. Only to tell you, you have fixed me yours to the last existence of my soul's eternal entity.[Exit. Lady Bet. O, your servant. Lord Fop. Ha, ha! stark mad for me, by all that's handsome! Poor Morelove! That a fellow, who has ever been abroad, should think a woman of her spirit is to be taken by a regular siege, as the confederates do towns, when so many of the French successes might have shewn him, the surest way is to whisper the governor. How can a coxcomb give himself the fatigue of bombarding a woman's understanding, when he may with so much ease make a friend of her constitution. I'll see if I can shew him a little French play with lady Betty-let me see―ave, I'll make an end of it the old way, get her into piquet at her own lodgings-not mind one tittle of my play-give her every game before she's half up, that she may judge of the strength of my inclination by my haste of losing up to her price; then, of a sudden, with a familiar leer, cry-rat piquet-sweep counters, cards, and money all upon the floor, and donc-l'affaire est faite. [Erit. ACT IV. Enter LADY BETTY, and LADY EASY. Lady Easy. My dear, you really talk to me as if I were your lover and not your friend: or else I am so dull, that by all you've said I can't make the least guess at your real thoughts-Can you be serious for a moment? Lady Bet. Not easily; but I would do more to oblige you. Lady Easy. Then, pray, deal ingenuously, and tell me, without reserve, are you sure you don't love my lord Morelove? Lady Bet. Then seriously-I think not-But because I won't be positive, you shall judge by the worst of my symptoms-First, I own I like his conversation-his person has neither fault, nor beauty-well enough-I don't remember I ever secretly wished myself married to him, or that I ever seriously resolved against it. Lady Easy. Well, so far you are tolerably safe: But come; as to his manner of addressing you, what effect has that had? Lady Bet. I am not a little pleased to observe few men follow a woman with the same fatigue and spirit that he does meam more pleased when he lets me use him ill; and if ever I have a favourable thought of him, 'tis when I see he can't bear that usage. Lady Easy. Have a care; that last is a dan gerous symptom-he pleases your pride, I find. : Lady Bet. Oh! perfectly in that, I own no mortal ever can come up to him. Lady Easy. But now, my dear! now comes the main point-jealousy! Are you sure you have never been touched with it? Tell me that, with a safe conscience, and then I pronounce you clear. Lady Bet. Nay, then, I defy him; for, positively, I was never jealous in my life. Lady Easy. How, madam! you have never been stirred enough, to think a woman strangely forward for being a little familiar in talk with him? Or, are you sure his gallantry to another never gave you the least disorder? Were you never, upon no accident, in an apprehension of losing him? Lady Bet. Ha! Why, madam-Bless me! wh-wh-why sure you don't call this jealousy, dear? my Lady Easy. Nay, nay, that is not the business -Have you ever felt any thing of this nature, madam? Lady Bet. Lord! don't be so hasty, my dear-any thing of this nature-O Lud! I swear I don't like it: dear creature, bring me off here; for I am half frighted out of my wits! Lady Easy. Nay, if you can rally upon it, your wound is not over deep, I'm afraid. Lady Bet. Well, that's comfortably said, how ever. Lady Easy. But come to the point-How far have you been jealous? Lady Bet. Why, O, bless me! He gave the music one night to my lady Languish here upon the terrace: and (though she and I were very great friends) I remember I could not speak to her in a week for't-Oh! Lady Easy. Nay, now, you may laugh if you can: for, take my word, the marks are upon you But come, what else? Lady Bet. O, nothing else, upon my word, my dear! Lady Easy. Well, one word more, and then I give sentence: suppose you were heartily convinced, that he actually followed another woman? Lady Bet. But, pray, my dear, what occasion is there to suppose any such a thing at all? Lady Easy. Guilty, upon my honour! Lady Bet. Pshaw! I defy him to say, that ever I owned any inclination for him. Lady Easy. No, but you have given him terrible leave to guess it. Lady Bet. If ever you see us meet again, you'll have but little reason to think so, I can assure you. Lady Easy. That I shall see presently; for here comes Sir Charles, and I'm sure my lord cannot be far off. Enter SIR CHARLES. Lady Easy. At your service, my dear-But, pray, what have you done with my lord Morelove? Lady Bet. Aye, sir Charles; pray, how does your pupil do? Have you any hopes of him? Is he docible? Sir Cha. Well, madam, to confess your triumph over me, as well as him, I own my hopes of him are lost. I offered what 1 could to his instruction, but he is incorrigibly yours, and undone-and the news, I presume, does not displease your ladyship. Lady Bet. Fye, fye, sir Charles, you disparage your friend; I am afraid you don't take pains with him. Sir Cha. Ha! I fancy, lady Betty, your goodnature won't let you sleep a nights: don't you love dearly to hurt people? Lady Bet. O! your servant: then, without a jest, the man is so unfortunate in his want of patience, that, let me die, if I don't often pity him. Sir Cha. Ha! Strange goodness-O that I were your lover for a month or two! Lady Bet. What then? Sir Cha. I would make that pretty heart's blood of yours ache in a fortnight. Lady Bet. Huh! I should hate you: your assurance would make your address intolerable. Sir Cha. I believe it would, for I'd never address you at all. Lady Betty. O! you clown you! [Hitting him with her fan. Sir Cha. Why, what to do? to feed a diseased pride, that's eternally breaking out in the affectation of an ill-nature, that-in my conscience I believe is but affectation. Lady Bet. You, or your friend, have no great reason to complain of my fondness, I believe.Ha, ha, ha! Sir Cha. [looking earnestly at her.] Thou insolent creature! How can you make a jest of a man, whose whole life's but one continued torment, from your want of common gratitude? Lady Bet. Torment! for my part I really believe him as easy as you are. Sir Cha. Poor intolerable affectation! You know the contrary; you know him blindly yours; you know your power, and the whole pleasure of your life's the poor and low abuse of it. Lady Bet. Pray, how do I abuse it—if I have any power. Sir Cha. You drive him to extremes that make him mad, then punish him for acting against his reason you've almost turned his brain, his common judgment fails him; he is now, at this very moment, driven by his despair upon a project, in hopes to free him from your power, that I am sensible, and so must every one be that has his sense, of course must ruin him with you for ever. Sir Cha. Servant, lady Betty-my dear, I almost blush to think of it; yet your unreasonhow do you do? able disdain has forced him to do it; and should he now suspect I offered but a hint of it to you, and in contempt of his design, I know he'd call my life to answer it: but I have no regard to men in madness; I rather choose, for once, to trust in your good-nature, in hopes the man, whom your unwary beauty had made miserable, your generosity would scorn to make ridiculous. Lady Bet. Sir Charles, you charge me very home; I never had it in my inclination to make any thing ridiculous that did not deserve it.Pray, what is this business you think so extravagant in him? Sir Cha. Something so absurdly rash and bold, you'll hardly forgive even me that tell it you. Lady Bet. O fie! If it be a fault, sir Charles, I shall consider it as his, not yours. Pray, what is it? Lady Easy. I long to know, methinks. Sir Cha. You may be sure he did not want my dissuasions from it. Lady Bet. Let us hear it. Sir Cha. Why this man, whom I have known to love you with such excess of generous desire, whom I have heard, in his ecstatic praises of your beauty, talk, till, from the soft heat of his distilling thoughts, the tears have fallen Lady Bet. O! sir Charles[Blushing. Sir Cha. Nay, grudge not, since 'tis past, to hear what was (though you contemned it) once his merit: but now, I own, that merit ought to be forgotten. vainly ruffled to a storm, which the least gentle look from you can reconcile at will, and laugh into a calm again. Lady Bet. Indeed, Sir Charles, I shan't give myself that trouble, I believe. Sir Cha. So I told him, madam: are not all your complaints, said I, already owing to her pride? and can you suppose this public defiance of it (which you know you can't make good, too) won't incense her more against you?-That's what I'd have, said he, staring wildly; I care not what becomes of me, so I but live to see her piqued at it. Lady Bet. Upon my word! I fancy my lord will find himself mistaken-I shan't be piqued, I believe-I must first have a value for the thing I lose, before it piques me: piqued! ha, ha, ha! [Disordered. Sir Cha. Madam, you've said the very thing I urged to him. I know her temper so well, said I, that though she doated on you, if you once stood out against her, she'd sooner burst, than shew the least motion of uneasiness. Lady Bet. I can assure you, sir Charles, my lord won't find himself deceived in your opinion -piqued ! Sir Cha. She has it. [Aside. Lady Easy. Alas, poor woman! how little do our passions make us! Lady Bet. Not but I would advise him to have a little regard to my reputation in this business; I would have him take heed of pub Lady Bet. Pray, sir, be plain. Sir Cha. This man, I say, whose unhappy pas-licly affronting me. sion has so ill succeeded with you, at last has forfeited all his hopes (into which, pardon me, I confess my friendship had lately flattered him) his hopes of even deserving now your lowest pity or regard. Lady Bet. You amaze me! For I can't suppose his utmost malice dares assault my reputationand what Sir Cha. No, but he maliciously presumes the world will do it for him; and, indeed, he has taken no unlikely means to make them busy with their tongues; for he is this moment upon the open terrace, in the highest public gallantry with my lady Graveairs. And to convince the world and me, he said, he was not the tame lover we fancied him, he'd venture to give her music to-night: nay, I heard him, before my face, speak to one of the hautboys to engage the rest, and desired they would all take their directions only from my lady Graveairs. Lady Bet. My lady Graveairs! truly I think my lord's very much in the right on't-for my part, sir Charles, I don't see any thing in this that's so very ridiculous, nor indeed that ought to make me think either the better or the worse of him for't. Sir Cha. Pshaw! pshaw! madam, you and I know 'tis not in his power to renounce you; this is but the poor disguise of a resenting passion, Sir Cha. Right, madam; that's what I strictly warned him of; for, among friends, whenever the world sees him follow another woman, the malicious tea-tables will be very apt to be free with your ladyship. Lady Bet. I'd have him consider that, methinks. Sir Cha. But, alas! madam, 'tis not in his power to think with reason; his mad resentment has destroyed even his principles of common honesty: he considers nothing but a senseless proud revenge, which, in his fit of lunacy, 'tis impossible that either threats or danger can dissuade him from. Lady Bet. What! does he defy me, threaten me! then he shall see, that I have passions, too, and know, as well as he, to stir my heart against any pride that dares insult me. Does he suppose I fear him? Fear the little malice of a slighted passion, that my own scorn has stung into a despised resentment! Fear him! O! it provokes me to think he dare have such a thought! Lady Easy. Dear creature, don't disorder yourself so. Lady Bet. Let me but live to see him once more within my power, and I'll forgive the rest of fortune. Lady Easy. Well, I am certainly very ill-natu red; for though I see this news has disturbed my friend, I can't help being pleased with my hopes of my lady Graveairs being otherwise disposed of. [Aside.] My dear, I am afraid you have pro Lady Bet. And so the widow was as full of airs as his lordship? Sir Cha. Only observe that, and it is impossi- voked her a little too far. tea. Lady Bet. I may see him with his complaining face again commit Sir Cha. I am sorry, madam, you so wrongly judge of what I've told you; I was in hopes to have stirred your pity, not your anger: I little thought your generosity would punish him for faults, which you yourself resolved he should -Yonder he comes, and all the world with him: might I advise you, madam, you should not resent the thing at allI would not so much as stay to see him in his fault; nay, I'd be the last that heard of it: nothing can sting him more, or so justly punish his folly, as your utter neglect of it. Lady Easy. Come, dear creature, be persuaded, and go home with me? Indeed it will shew more indifference to avoid him. Lady Bet. No, madam, I'll oblige his vanity for once, and stay to let him see how strongly he has piqued me. Sir Cha. [Aside.] O not at all to speak of; you had as good part with a little of that pride of yours, or I shall yet make it a very troublesome companion to you. [Goes from them, and whispers LORD MORELOVE. Enter LORD FOPPINGTON; a little after, LORD MORELOVE, and LADY GRAVEAIRS. Lord Fop. Ladies, your servant-O! we have wanted you beyond reparation---such | diversion! Lady Bet. Well! my lord! have you seen my lord Morelove? Lord Fop. Seen him! ha, ha, ha!-O! I have such things to tell you, madam-you'll die Lady Bet. O, pray let's hear them! I was never in a better humour to receive them. Lord Fop. Hark you. [They whisper. Lord Mor. So, she's engaged already. [TO SIR CHA. Sir Cha. So much the better; make but a just advantage of my success, and she's undone. Lord Fop. Lady Bet. Ha, ha, ha! Sir Cha. You see already what ridiculous pains she is taking to stir your jealousy, and cover her own. Lord Fop. Lord Mor. O, never fear me; for, upon my [Whispers LORD MOR. Lady Grave. My lord Morelove! What, do you leave us? Lord Mor. Ten thousand pardons, madam! I was but just Lady Grave. Nay, nay, no excuses, my lord, so you will but let us have you again. Sir Cha. [Aside to LADY GRAVEAIRS.]—I see you have good humour, madam, when you like your company. Lady Grave. And you, I see, for all your mighty thirst of dominion, could stoop to be obedient, if one thought it worth one's while to make you so. Sir Cha. Ha! power would make her an admirable tyrant. [Aside. Lady Easy. [Observing SIR CHARLES and LADY GRAVEAIRS.]-So! there's another couple have quarrelled, too, I find-Those airs to my lord Morelove look as if designed to recover sir Charles into jealousy: I'll endeavour to join the company, and, it may be, that will let me into the secret.-[Aside.]-My lord Foppington, I vow this is very uncomplaisant, to engross so agreeable a part of the company to yourself. Sir Cha. Nay, my lord, this is not fair, indeed, to enter into secrets among friends! Ladies, against it. what say you? I think we ought to declare Lady Bet. Well, ladies, I ought only to ask your pardon my lord's excuseable, for I would haul him into a corner. Lord Fop. I swear 'tis very hard; ho! I observe, two people of extreme condition can no sooner grow particular, but the multitude of both sexes are immediately up, and think their properties invaded Lady Bet. Odious multitude! Lady Grave. Oh, my lord, we women have all reason to be jealous of lady Betty Modish's power. Lord More. [To LADY BETTY.]-As the men, madam, all have of my lord Foppington; besides, favourites of great merit discourage those of an inferior class for their prince's service; he has already lost you one of your retinue, madam. Lady Bet. Not at all, my lord; he has only made room for another: one must sometimes make vacancies, or there could be no prefer inents. Lady Easy. Ha, ha, ha! Ladies' favours, my lord, like places at court, are not always held for life, you know. Lady Bet. No, indeed! if they were, the poor fine women would be always used like their wives, and no more minded than the business of the nation. Lady Easy. Have a care, madam: an undeserving favourite has been the ruin of many a prince's empire. Lord Fop. Ha, ha, ha! Upon my soul, lady Betty, we must grow more discreet; for, positively, if we go on at this rate, we shall have the world throw you under the scandal of constancy; and I shall have all the swords of condition at my throat for a monopolist. Lord More. Oh! there's no great fear of that, my lord; though the men of sense give it over, there will be always some idle fellows vain enough to believe their merit may succeed as well as your lordship's. Lady Bet. Or, if they should not, my lord, cast-lovers, you know, need not fear being long out of employment, while there are so many welldisposed people in the world-There are generally neglected wives, stale maids, or charitable widows, always ready to relieve the necessities of a disappointed passion-And, by the way, hark you, sir Charles Lord More. [Aside.]-So! she's stirred, I see; for all her pains to hide it- -She would hardly have glanced an affront at a woman she was not piqued at. Lady Grave. [Aside.]-That wit was thrown at me, I suppose; but I'll return it. Lady Bet. [Softly to SIR CHARLES.-Pray, how come you all this while to trust your mistress so easily? Sir Cha. One is not so apt, madam, to be alarmed at the liberties of an old acquaintance, as perhaps your ladyship ought to be at the resentment of an hard-used, honourable lover. Lady Bet. Suppose I were alarmed, how does that make you easy? Sir Cha. Come, come, be wise at last; my trusting them together may easily convince you, that (as I told you before) I know his addresses to her are only outward, and it will be your fault now, if you let him go on tili the world thinks him in earnest; and a thousand busy tongues are set upon malicious enquiries into your reputation. Lady Bet. Why, sir Charles, do you suppose, while he behaves himself as he does, that I won't convince him of my indifference? Sir Cha. But hear me, madam Lady Grave. [Aside.]-The air of that whisper looks as if the lady had a mind to be making her peace again: and, 'tis possible, his worship's being so busy in the matter, too, may proceed as much from his jealousy of my lord with me, as friendship to her; at least I fancy so; therefore, I'm resolved to keep her still piqued, and prevent it, though it be only to gall him- Sir Charles, that is not fair to take a privilege you just now declared against in my lord Foppington. Lord More. Well observed, madam. Lady Grave. Besides, it looks so affected to whisper, when every body guesses the secret. Lord More. Ha, ha, ha! Lady Bet. Oh! madam, your pardon in particular: but it is possible you may be mistaken: the secrets of people, that have any regard to their actions, are not so soon guessed, as theirs that have made a confidant of the whole town. Lord Fop. Ha, ha, ha! Lady Grave. A coquette, in her affected airs of disdain to a revolted lover, I'm afraid, must exceed your ladyship in prudence, not to let the world see, at the same time, she'd give her eyes to make her peace with him: ha, ha, ha! Lord More. Ha ha, ha! Lady Bet. Twould be a mortification, indeed, if it were in the power of a fading widow's charms to prevent it; and the man must be miserably reduced, sure, that could bear to live buried in woollen, or take up with the motherly comforts of a swan-skin petticoat. Ha, ha, ha! Lord Fop. Ha, ha, ha! Lady Grave. Widows, it seems, are not so squeamish to their interest; they know their own minds, and take the man they like, though it happens to be one that a froward, vain girl has disobliged, and is pining to be friends with. Lord More. Nay, though it happens to be one that confesses he once was fond of a piece of folly, and afterwards ashamed on't. Lady Bet. Nay, my lord, there's no standing against two of you. Lord Fop. No, faith, that's odds at tennis, my lord: not but, if your ladyship pleases, I'll endeavour to keep your back-hand a little; though, upon my soul, you may safely set me up at the line: for, knock me down if ever I saw a rest of wit better played, than that last, in my life. What say you, madam? shall we engage? Lady Bet. As you please, my lord. Lord Fop. Ha, ha, ha! Allons! tout de bon jouer, milor. Lord More. Oh, pardon me, sir, I shall never think myself in any thing a match for the lady. Lord Fop. To you, madam. Lady Bet. That's much, my lord, when the world knows you have been so many years teasing me to play the fool with you. Lord Fop. Ah, bien-joué— Ha, ha, ha ! Lord More. At that game, I confess, your ladyship has chosen a much properer person to improve your hand with. Lord Fop. To me, madam-My lord, I presume, whoever the lady thinks fit to play the fool with, will at least be able to give as much envy as the wise person that had not wit enough to keep well with her when he was so. Lady Grave. O! my lord! Both parties must needs be greatly happy; for, I dare swear, neither will have any rivals to disturb them. Lord More. Ha, ha, ha! |