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don me.

No creature else. Who's that? [One knocks. To give and take the lie by.
Sub. It is not he !

Kas. How! to take it?"
Fuce. Oh, no, not yet, this hour.

Face. Yes, in oblique, he'll shew you, or in Sub. Who is't?

circle, Dol. Dapper,

But never in diameter. I'll tell you his method: Your clerk.

First, he will enter you at some ordinary. Face. God's will! then, queen of fairy,

Kas. No, I'll come not there. You shall parOn with your tire; and, doctor, with your

robes. Let us dispatch him, for God's sake.

Face. For why, sir? Sub. 'Twill be long.

Kas. There's gaming there, and tricks. Face. I warrant you: take but the cues I give Face. Why, would you be you,

A gallant, and not game? It shall be brief enough. 'Slight, here are more ! Kas. Aye, 'twill spend a man. Abel, and, I think, the angry boy, the heir, Face. Spend you! it will repair you, when you That fain would quarrel.

are spent. Sub. And the widow ?

How do they live by their wits there, that have Face, No;

vented Not that I see, Away,

Six times your fortune? (Ereunt SUBTLE and Dol. Kas. What, three thousand a year ? O, sirs, you are welcoine !

Face. Aye, forty thousand.

Here's a young gentleman Enter DAPPER, DRUGGER, and KASTRIL.

Is born to nothing, forty inarks a year, The doctor is within, moving for you.

Which I count nothing. He is to be initiated, I have had the most ado to win him to it. And have a fly o' the doctor. He will win you, He swears you'll be the darling of the dice. By irresistible luck, within this fortnight, Dup. Shall see her grace?

Enough to buy a barony. Face. See her, and kiss her too-What, ho Kas. Do you not gull one? nest Nab!

Face. 'Ods my life! do you think it? Hast brought the damask ?

Why, Nab here knows it. Drug. No, sir, here's tobacco.

And then for making matches for rich widows, Face. 'Tis well done, Nab. Thou'lt bring the Young gentlewomen, heirs, the fortunatest man ! damask, too?

He's sent to, far and near, all over England, Drug. Yes. Here's the gentleman, captain ; To have his counsel, and to know their fortunes. master Kastril,

Kas. Adzooks ! my sister shall see him.
I have brought to see the doctor.

Fuce. I'll tell you, sir,
Face. Where's the widow? [Whispers. What he did tell me of Nab.
Drug. Sir, as he likes, his sister (he says) It's a strange thing;
shall come.

(By the way, you must eat no cheese, Nab; it Face. Oh, is it so?

breeds melancholy, Drug. I'll introduce him. Master Kastril, And that same melancholy breeds worms) but

captain Face. Face. Good time. Is your name Kastril, sir? He told me, honest Nab, he was ne'er at tavern kas. Aye, and the best of the Kastrils; I'd But once in's life! be sorry else,

Drug. Troth, and no more I was not
By fifteen hundred a year. Where is the doctors Face. And then he was so sick-
My mad tobacco boy, here, tells me of one Drug. Could he tell you that too?
That can do things. Has he any


Face. How should I know it? Face. Wherein, sir?

Drug. In troth, I'll tell you the whole story: kas. To carry a business, manage a quarrel We had been a shooting, fairly,

And had a piece of fat ram mutton to supper, Upon fit terms.

That lay so heavy o' my stomachFace. It seenis, sir, you are but young

Face. And he has no head About the town, that can make that a question. To bear any wine : for what with the noise of Kas. Sir, not so young, but I have heard some the fidlers,

And care of his shop; for he dares keep no serOf the angry boys, and seen them take tobacco, And in his shop; and I can take it too:

Drug. My head did so acheAnd I would fain be one of them, and go down Face As he was fain to be brought home, And practise in the country.

The doctor told me. And then a good old woFace. Sir, for the duello, The doctor, I assure you, shall inform you,

Drug. (Yes, faith, she dwells in Sen coal-lane) To the least shadow of a hair; and, then, rules

did cure me

pass it;




And prays

Kas. I go.

With sodden ale, and pellitory o' the wall; Sub. Then, to her cuz,
Cost me but two-pence. I had another sickness, Hoping that he hath vinegared his senses,
Was worse than that-

As he was bid, the fairy queen dispenses,
Face. Aye, that was the grief

By me, this robe, the petticoat of fortune; Thou took'st for being 'sessed at eighteen pence, Which that he straight put on, she doth imporFor the water-work.

tune, Drug. In truth, and it was like

And though to fortune near be her petticoat, To have cost me almost my life.

Yet nearer is her smock, the queen doth note : Face. Thy hair went off.

And therefore, even of that a piece she has sent, Drug. Yes;

Which, being a child, to wrap him in, was rent; Twas done for spite.

him for a scarf, he now will wear it Face. Nay, so says the doctor.

(With as much love as then her grace did tear it) Kas. Pray thee, tobacco boy, go fetch my sus About his eyes, to shew he is fortunate. ter;

[They blind him with a rag. I'll see this learned boy before I go;

And, trusting unto her to make his state, And so shall she.

He'll throw away all worldly pelf upon him : Face. Sir, he is busy now;

Which, that he will perform, she doth not doubt But if you have a sister to fetch hither,

him. Perhaps your own pains may command her Face. She need not doubt him, sir. Alas! he sooner,

has nothing And he by that time will be free.

But what he will part withal as willingly,

Upon her grace's word (throw away your purse), Face. Drugger, she's thine-the damask. As she should ask it.

(Ereunt DRUGGER and KASTRIL. She cannot bid that thing, but he'll obey. Subtle and I

If you have a ring about you, cast it off, Must wrestle for her. [Aside.] Come on, Mas- Or a silver seal at your wrist : her grace will send ter Dapper;

Her fairies here to search you; therefore deal You see how I turn clients here away,

Directly with her highness. If they find To give your cause dispatch. Have you per- That you conceal a mite, you are undone. forined

(He throws away as they bid him. The ceremonies were enjoined you?

Dap. Truly, there's all. Dap. Yes, o' the vinegar,

Face. All what! And the clean shirt.

Dap. My money, truly. Face. Tis well; that shirt may

Face. Keep nothing that is transitory about More worship than you think.

you. Ha' you provided for her grace's servants ? Look, the elves are come Dap. Yes, here are six-score Edward's shil- To pinch you, if you tell not truth. Advise you. lings.

Dap. Oh, I have a paper with a spur-ryal in't. Face, Good.

Face. Ti, ti, Dap. And an old Harry's sovereign.

They knew it, they say: Face. Very good.

Dap. By this good light, I ha' nothing Dap. And three James's shillings, and an Eli- But a half crown zabeth's groat;

Of gold, about my wrist, that my love gave me. Just twenty nobles.

And a leaden heart I wore, sin' she forsook me. Face. Oh, you are too just !

Face. I thought 'twas something. And would I would you had the other noble in Mary's.

Dap. I have some Philip and Mary's. Your aunt's displeasure for these trifles? Come, Face. Aye, those same

I had rather you had thrown away twenty haltAre best of all. Where are they? Hark! the crowns. doctor.

You may wear your leaden heart still. [Knock.}

How now?

Enter Dol.
Sub. Is her grace's cousin come?
Fuce. He is come.

Sub. What news, Dol?
Sub. And is he fasting?

Dol. Yonder's your knight, sir Mammon. Face. Yes.

Face. God's lid, we never thought of him till Sub. And hath cried hum? Face. Thrice, you must answer.

Where is he? Dap. Thrice.

Dol. Here, hard by. He's at the door. Sub. And as oft, buz?

Sub. And you are not ready now. Face. If you have, say,

Dol. He must be sent back. Dap. I have.

Face. Oh, by no means.

do you

you incur


What shall we do with this same puffing here, Face. Sir, he shall
Now he's o' the spit?

Hold out, an' 'twere this two hours, for her highSub. Why, lay him back awhile,

ness; With some device. Ti, ti, ti, ti, ti. Would her I can assure you that. We will not lose grace speak with me?"

[Knock. All we ha' done I come. Help, Dol.

Sub. He must not see, nor speak
Face. Who's there? Sir Epicure?

To any body, till then.
[He speaks through the key-hole, the other Face. For that we'll put, sir,

A stay in's mouth.
My master's i' the way. Please you to walk Sub. Of what?
Three or four turns, but till his back be turned, Face. Of gingerbread.
And I am for you. Quickly, Dol. (Erit Dol. Make you it fit.
Sub. Her grace

Gape, sir, and let him fit you.
Commends her kindly to you, Master Dapper.

Şub. Where shall we now Dap. I long to see her grace.

Bestow him? Sub. She now is set

Dol. l' the privy. At dinner in her bed, and she has sent you,

Sub. Come, along, sir, From her own private trencher, a dead mouse, I now must shew you fortune's privy lodgings. And a piece of gingerbread, to be merry withal, Face. Are they perfumed, and his bath ready? And stay your stomach, lest you faint with fast Sub. All.

Only the fumigation's somewhat strong. Yet, if you could hold out, till she saw you, (she Face. Sir Epicure, I am yours, sir, by and by. says)

[Exeunt. It would be better for you.

ing :



Enter Dol.

Here she comes.
Face and MAMMON meet.

Face. To him, Dol, suckle him. This is the Face. Ou, sir, you are come i' the only finest noble knight time.

I told your ladyship.

[Erit Face. Mam. Where's master?

Mam. Madam, with your pardon,
Face. Now preparing for projection, sir. I kiss your vesture.
Your stuff will be all changed shortly.

Dol. Sir, I were uncivil
Mam. Into gold?

If I would suffer that; my lip to you, sir. Face. To gold and silver, sir.

Mam. I hope my lord, your brother, be in Mam. Silver I care not for.

health, lady. Face. Yes, sir, a little to give beggars.

Dol. My lord, my brother is, though I no lady, Mam. Where's the lady?

sir. Face. At hand here. I ha' told her such brave Mam. 'Tis

your prerogative. things of you,

Dol. Rather your courtesy. Touching your bounty, and your noble spirit Mam. Were there nought else to enlarge your Mam. Hast thou ?

virtues to me, Face. As she is almost in her fit to see you. These answers speak your breeding and your But, good sir, no divinity i' your conference,

blood. For fear of putting her in a rage-

Dol. Blood we boast none, sir; a poor baron's Mam. I warrant thee.

daughter. Face. The very house, sir, would run mad. Mam. Poor! and gat you? Profane not. Had

You know it,
How scrupulous he is, and violent

Slept all the happy remnant of his life, 'Gainst the least act of sin.

After that act, Mam. I am schooled, good Ulen.

He had done enough to make himself Face. And you must praise her house, remem- And his posterity noble. ber that,

Sweet madam, let me be particular And her nobility.

Dol. Particular, sir? I pray you, know your Mam. Let me alone;

distance. No herald, nor no antiquary, Lungs,

Mam. In no ill sense, sweet lady, but to ask Shall do it better. Go.

How your fair graces pass the hours? I see

your father

You are lodged here i' the house of a rare man,
An excellent artist; but what's that to you?

Dol. Yes, sir, I study here the mathematics, Face. Dost thou not laugh!
And distillation.

Sub. Yes. Are they gone? Mam. Oh, I cry your pardon.

Face. All's clear. He's a divine instructor.

Sub. The widow is come. Dol. Aye, and for his physick, sir

Face. And your quarrelling disciple? Mam. Above the art of #Esculapius,

Sub. Aye. That drew the envy of the thunderer!

Face. I must to my captainship again, then. I know all this, and more.

Sub. Stay, bring them in first. Dol. Troth, I am taken, sir,

Face. So I meant. What is she? Whole with these studies, that contemplate na

A bonny belle? ture.

Sub. I know not. Mam. It is a noble humour: but this form: Face. We'll draw lots. Was not intended to so dark a use.

You'll stand to that? I muse, my lord, your brother, will permit it! Sub. What else? You should spend half my land first, were I he.' To the door, man. Does not this diamond look better on my finger Face, You'll have the first kiss, 'cause I am Than i' the quarry?

not ready. Dol. Yes.

Sub. Yes, and perhaps hit you through both Mam. Why, you are like it.

the nostrils. You were created, lady, for the light!

Here, you shall wear it; take it, the first pledge
Of what I speak, to bind you to believe me. Face. Who would you speak with?
Dol. In chains of adamant?

Kas. Where's the captain ?
Mam. Yes, the strongest bands.

Face. Gone, sir, And take a secret, too: here, by your side, About some business. Doth stand, this hour, the happiest man in Europe.

Kas. Gone ! Dol. You are contented, sir?

Face. He'll return straight. Mam. Nay, in true being,

But, master doctor, his lieutenant, is here.
The envy of princes, and the fear of states. Sub. Come near, my worshipful boy, my Ter-

Dol. Say you so, sir Epicure?
Mam. Yes, and thou shalt prove it,

That is, my boy of land; make thy approaches. Daughter of honour. I have cast mine eye Welcome: I know thy lust, and thy desires, Upon thy form, and I will rear this beauty And I will serve and satisfy them. Begin; Above all stiles.

Charge me from thence, or thence, or in this Dol. You mean no treason, sir?

line; Mam. No: I will take away that jealousy. Here is my centre : ground thy quarrel. I am the lord of the philosopher's stone,

Kas. You lie ! And thou the lady.

Sub. How, child of wrath and anger! the loud Dol. How, sir! ha' you that?

Mam. I am the master of the mastery. For what, my sudden boy?
This day the good old wretch here, o' the house, Kas. Nay, that look you to,
Has made it for us; now he's at projection. I am afore-hand.
Think, therefore, thy first wish now; let me hear Sub. O, this is no true grammar,

And as ill logick! You must render causes, And it shall rain into thy lap, no shower,

child, But floods of gold, whole cataracts, a deluge Your first and second intentions, know your

canons, Enter Face.

And your divisions, moods, degrees, and differFace. Sir, you're too loud; I hear you every ences, word

And ha' your elements perfect
Ino the laboratory. Some fitter place;

Kas. What, is this
The garden, or great chamber above. How like The angry tongue he talks in ?

Sub. That false precept.
Mam. Excellent ! Lungs. There's for thee. Of being afore-hand, has deceived a number,

[Gives money. And made them enter quarrels, oftentimes, Face. But do you hear?

Before they were aware; and afterward
Good sir, beware no mention of the Rabbins. Against their wills.
Mam. We think not on them.

Kas. How must I do then, sir? (Ereunt Mammon and Dol. Sub. I cry this lady mercy : she should first Face. Oh, it is well. sir. Subtle !

Have been saluted.



you her?

my fortune?

I do call you lady,

[Kisses her.

Because you are to be one, ere't be long,
My soft and buxom widow. [He kisses her.

Sub. What do you say?
Kas. Is she, i' faith?

Face. Have you disposed of them.
Sub. Yes, or my heart is an egregious liar. Sub. I have sent them up.
Kas. How know you?

Face. Subtle, in troth, I needs must have this Sub. By inspection on her forehead,

widow. And subtility of her lip, which must be tasted Sub. Is that the matter? Often, to make a judgment.

Face. Nay, but hear me. [He kisses her again.

Sub. Go to,
Here is yet a line,

If you rebel once, Dol shall know it all.
In rivo frontis, tells me, he is no knight. Therefore be quiet, and obey your chance.
Pli. What is he, sir?

Face. Nay,
Sub. Let me see your

But understand : I'll give you composition. Oh, your linea Fortuna makes it plain;

Sub. I will not treat with thee. What, sell He is a soldier, or a man of art, lady; But shall have some great honour shortly. 'Tis better than my birth-right. Do not murmur. Pli. Brother,

Win her, and carry her. If you grumble, Dol He's a rare man, believe me!

Knows it directly. Kas. Hold your peace.

Fuce. Well, sir, I am silent. Here comes the other rare man.

Will you go help to fetch in Don in state?

Sub. I follow you, sir. We must keep Face in Enter Face


Or he will overlook us like a tyrant. Aside. 'Save you, captain.

Brain of a taylor! Who comes here? Don John? Face. Good master Kastril, is this your sister ? Kas. Ay, sir,

Enter Surly like a Spaniard. Please to kuss her, and be proud to know her.

Face. I shall be proud to know you, lady. Sur. Sennores, beso las manos, a vuestras merePli. Brother, he calls me lady too.

cedes. Kas. Ay, peace, I heard it.

Sub. Don, your scurvy, yellow, Madrid face is Face. The count is come.

welcome. Sub. Why, you must entertain him.

Sur. Gratia. Face. What'll you do

Sub. He speaks out of a fortification. With these the while?

Pray god, he ha' no squibs in those deep sets. Sub. Why have them up, and shew them Sur. Por dios, sennores, muy linda casa! Some fustian book, or the dark glass.

Sub. What says he? Face. 'Fore god,

Face. Praises the house, I think; She is a delicate dab-chick! I must have her. I know no more but's action.

[Exit. Sub. Yes, the Casa, Sub. Most you? Ay, if your fortune wil), you My precious Diego, will prove fair enough

To cozen you in. Do you mark? You shall Come, sir, the captain will come to us presently: Be cozened, Diego. I'll have you to my chamber of demonstrations, Face. Cozened, do you see? Where I'll shew you my instrument,

My worthy Donzel, cozened. That hath the several scales upon't, shall make Sur. Entiendo. you

Sub. Do you intend it? So do we, dear Don. Able to quarrel, at a straw's breadth by moon- Have you brought pistolets, or portagues, light.

My solemn Don? Dost thou feel any? And, lady, I'll have you look in a glass,

Face. Full.

[He feels his pockets. Some half an hour, but to clear your eye-sight, Sub. You shall be emptied, Don, pumped and Against you see your fortune; which is greater

drawn Than I inay judge upon the sudden, trust me. Dry, as they sav.

(Ereunt. Face. 'Slid, Subtle, how shall we do!

Sub. For what?
Enter FACE.

Face. Why Dol's employed, you know.

Sub. That's true. Face. Where are you, doctor?

'Fore Heaven, I know not: Sub. [within.] I'll come to you presently. Mammon must not be troubled. Face. I will have this same widow, now I have Face. Mammon? in no case. seen her,

Think; you must be sudden. On any composition.

Sur. Entiendo, qua la sennora es tan hermosa,


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