[Exeunt SUBTLE and DOL.

O, sirs, you are welcome!

Enter DAPPER, DRUGGER, and KASTRIL.

The doctor is within, moving for

you.

I have had the most ado to win him to it.
He swears you'll be the darling of the dice.
Dup. Shall see her grace?

Face. See her, and kiss her too-What, ho-
nest Nab!

Hast brought the damask?

Drug. No, sir, here's tobacco.

Face. 'Tis well done, Nab. Thou'lt bring the damask, too?

Face. Yes, in oblique, he'll shew you, or in
circle,

But never in diameter. I'll tell you his method:
First, he will enter you at some ordinary.

Kas. No, I'll come not there. You shall par-
don me.

Face. For why, sir?

Kas. There's gaming there, and tricks.
Face. Why, would you be

A gallant, and not game?

Kas. Aye, 'twill spend a man.

Face. Spend you! it will repair you, when you are spent.

How do they live by their wits there, that have vented

Six times your fortune?

Kas. What, three thousand a year ?
Face. Aye, forty thousand.

Here's a young gentleman

Is born to nothing, forty marks a year,
Which I count nothing. He is to be initiated,
And have a fly o' the doctor. He will win you,
By irresistible luck, within this fortnight,
Enough to buy a barony.

Kas. Do you not gull one?

Face. 'Ods my life! do you think it?
Why, Nab here knows it.

And then for making matches for rich widows,
Young gentlewomen, heirs, the fortunatest man!
He's sent to, far and near, all over England,
To have his counsel, and to know their fortunes.
Kas. Adzooks! my sister shall see him.
Face. I'll tell you, sir,
[Whispers. What he did tell me of Nab.

Drug. Yes. Here's the gentleman, captain; master Kastril,

I have brought to see the doctor.

Face. Where's the widow?

Drug. Sir, as he likes, his sister (he says)It's a strange thing;

shall come.

Face. Oh, is it so?

Drug. I'll introduce him. captain Face.

Master Kastril,

Face. Good time. Is your name Kastril, sir?
Kas. Aye, and the best of the Kastrils; I'd
be sorry else,

By fifteen hundred a-year. Where is the doctor?
My mad tobacco boy, here, tells me of one
That can do things. Has he any skill?

Face. Wherein, sir?

Kas. To carry a business, manage a quarrel fairly,

Upon fit terms.

Face. It seems, sir, you are but young
About the town, that can make that a question.
Kas. Sir, not so young, but I have heard some
speech

Of the angry boys, and seen them take tobacco,
And in his shop; and I can take it too:
And I would fain be one of them, and go down
And practise in the country.

Face. Sir, for the duello,

The doctor, I assure you, shall inform you,

To the least shadow of a hair; and, then, rules

(By the way, you must eat no cheese, Nab; it breeds melancholy,

And that same melancholy breeds worms) but
pass it;

He told me, honest Nab, he was ne'er at tavern
But once in's life!

Drug. Troth, and no more I was not-
Face. And then he was so sick-

Drug. Could he tell you that too?

Face. How should I know it?

Drug. In troth, I'll tell you the whole story:
We had been a shooting,

And had a picce of fat ram mutton to supper,
That lay so heavy o' my stomach-

Face. And he has no head

To bear any wine: for what with the noise of the fidlers,

And care of his shop; for he dares keep no ser

With sodden ale, and pellitory o' the wall;
Cost me but two-pence. I had another sickness,
Was worse than that-

Face. Aye, that was the grief

Thou took'st for being 'sessed at eighteen pence,
For the water-work.

Drug. In truth, and it was like

To have cost me almost my life.

Face. Thy hair went off.

Drug. Yes;

Twas done for spite.

Face. Nay, so says the doctor.

Sub. Then, to her cuz,

Hoping that he hath vinegared his senses,
As he was bid, the fairy queen dispenses,
By me, this robe, the petticoat of fortune;
Which that he straight put on, she doth impor-
tune,

And though to fortune near be her petticoat,
Yet nearer is her smock, the queen doth note:
And therefore, even of that a piece she has sent,
Which, being a child, to wrap him in, was rent;
And prays
him for a scarf, he now will wear it
(With as much love as then her grace did tear it)

Kas. Pray thee, tobacco boy, go fetch my sus- About his eyes, to shew he is fortunate.

ter;

I'll see this learned boy before I go;

And so shall she.

Face. Sir, he is busy now;

But if you have a sister to fetch hither,
Perhaps your own pains may command her

sooner,

And he by that time will be free.

Kas. I go.

Face. Drugger, she's thine-the damask.
[Exeunt DRUGGER and KASTRIL.

Subtle and I

Must wrestle for her. [Aside.] Come on, Master Dapper;

You see how I turn clients here away,

[They blind him with a rag. And, trusting unto her to make his state, He'll throw away all worldly pelf upon him: Which, that he will perform, she doth not doubt him.

Face. She need not doubt him, sir. Alas! he
has nothing

But what he will part withal as willingly,
Upon her grace's word (throw away your purse),
As she should ask it.

She cannot bid that thing, but he'll obey.
If you have a ring about you, cast it off,
Or a silver seal at your wrist: her grace will send
Her fairies here to search you; therefore deal
Directly with her highness. If they find

To give your cause dispatch. Have you per- That you conceal a mite, you are undone.

formed

[He throws away as they bid him. Dap. Truly, there's all. Face. All what!

Dap. My money, truly.

Face. Keep nothing that is transitory about

Dap. And three James's shillings, and an Eli- But a half crown

zabeth's groat;

Just twenty nobles.

Face. Oh, you are too just!

I would you had the other noble in Mary's.

Dap. I have some Philip and Mary's.

Face. Aye, those same

Are best of all. Where are they? Hark! the doctor.

Of gold, about my wrist, that my love gave me.
And a leaden heart I wore, sin' she forsook me.
Face. I thought 'twas something. And would
you incur

Your aunt's displeasure for these trifles? Come,
I had rather you had thrown away twenty half-

crowns.

You may wear your leaden heart still. [Knock.]
How now?

Enter DoL.

Sub. What news, Dol?

Dol. Yonder's your knight, sir Mammon.

Face. God's lid, we never thought of him till

now.

Where is he?

Dol. Here, hard by. He's at the door.

Sub. And you are not ready now.

Dol. He must be sent back.

Face. Oh, by no means.

What shall we do with this same puffing here,
Now he's o' the spit?

Sub. Why, lay him back awhile,

With some device. Ti, ti, ti, ti, ti. Would her grace speak with me?

I come. Help, Dol.

Face. Who's there? Sir Epicure?

[Knock.

[He speaks through the key-hole, the other
knocking.]

My master's i' the way. Please you to walk
Three or four turns, but till his back be turned,
And I am for you. Quickly, Dol. [Exit DoL.
Sub. Her grace

Commends her kindly to you, Master Dapper.
Dap. I long to see her grace.
Sub. She now is set

At dinner in her bed, and she has sent you,
From her own private trencher, a dead mouse,
And a piece of gingerbread, to be merry withal,
And stay your stomach, lest you faint with fast-

Face. Sir, he shall

Hold out, an' 'twere this two hours, for her high-
ness;

I can assure you that. We will not lose
All we ha' done-

Sub. He must not see, nor speak

To any body, till then.

Face. For that we'll put, sir,
A stay in's mouth.
Sub. Of what?
Face. Of gingerbread.
Make you it fit.

Gape, sir, and let him fit you.
Sub. Where shall we now
Bestow him?

Dol. I' the privy.

Sub. Come, along, sir,

I now must shew you fortune's privy lodgings.
Face. Are they perfumed, and his bath ready?
Sub. All.

Only the fumigation's somewhat strong.

Face. Sir Epicure, I am yours, sir, by and by. [Exeunt.

Touching your bounty, and your noble spirit-
Mam. Hast thou?

Face. As she is almost in her fit to see you.
But, good sir, no divinity i' your conference,
For fear of putting her in a rage—

Mam. I warrant thee.

Face. The very house, sir, would run mad.—
You know it,

How scrupulous he is, and violent
'Gainst the least act of sin.

Mam. I am schooled, good Ulen.

Here she comes.

Enter DOL.

Face. To him, Dol, suckle him. This is the

noble knight

I told your ladyship.

Mam. Madam, with your pardon,

I kiss your vesture.

Dol. Sir, I were uncivil

[Exit FACE.

If I would suffer that; my lip to you, sir.
Mam. I hope my lord, your brother, be in

health, lady.

Dol. My lord, my brother is, though I no lady,

sir.

Mam. 'Tis your prerogative.

Dol. Rather your courtesy.

Mam. Were there nought else to enlarge your

virtues to me,

These answers speak your breeding and your blood.

Dol. Blood we boast none, sir; a poor baron's daughter.

Mam. Poor! and gat you? Profane not. Had
your father

Slept all the happy remnant of his life,
After that act,

He had done enough to make himself

Face. And you must praise her house, remem- And his posterity noble.

ber that,

And her nobility.

Mam. Let me alone;

No herald, nor no antiquary, Lungs,
Shall do it better. Go.

Sweet madam, let me be particular———

Dol. Particular, sir? I pray you, know your distance.

Mam. In no ill sense, sweet lady, but to ask How your fair graces pass the hours? I see