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SCENE I.—Continues. Knocking without. there be that dare wade deep enough to find the
bottom on't. Besides, sir, I'm afraid the line of Enter BONIFACE.
your understanding mayn't be long enough. Bon. Coming, coming ! A coach, and six Sul. Look'e, sir, I have nothing to say to your foaming horses at this time o’night! Some great sea of truth; but if a good parcel of land can man, as the saying is, for he scorns to travel with entitle a man to a little truth, I have as much as other people.
any he in the county.
Bon. I never heard your worship, as the sayEnter Sir CHARLES FREEMAN.
ing is, talk so much before. Sir Cha. What, fellow! a public house, and Sul, Because I never met with a man that I a-bed when other people sleep!
liked before. Bon. Sir, I an't a-bed, as the saying is.
Bon. Pray, sir, as the saying is, let me ask you Sir Cha. I see that, as the saying is ! Is Mr one question: Are not man and wife one fiesh? Sullen's family a-bed, think'e?
Sir Cha. You and your wife, Mr Guts, may b Bon. All but the 'squire himself, sir, as the one flesh, because you are nothing else--But ra saying is; he's in the house.
tional creatures have minds that must be united Sir Chu. What company has he?
think that the exciseman, the hunch-back'd barber, and two the mind takes place of the body? or three other gentlemen.
Sul. In some people. Sir Cha. I find my sister's letters gave me the Sir Cha. Then, the interest of the master must true picture of her spouse.
be consulted before that of the servant.
Sul. Sir, you shall dine with me to-morrow.Enter SULLEN, drunk.
Oons, I always thought we were naturally one. Bon. Sir, here's the 'squire.
Sir Cha. Sir, I know that my two hands are Sul. The puppies left me asleep- -sir. naturally one, because they love one another, kiss Sir Cha. Well, sir.
one another, help one another in all the actions Sul. Sir, I am an unfortunate man-I have of life; but I could not say so much if they were three thousand pounds a-year, and can't get a always at cuffs. man to drink a cup of ale with me.
Sul. Then 'tis plain that we are two. Sir Cha. That's very hard.
Sir Cha. Why don't you part with her, sir? Sul. Ay, sir–And unless you have pity upon Sul. Will you take her, sir? me, and smoke a pipe with me, I must e'en go Sir Cha. With all my heart, hone to my wife, and I had rather go to the de- Sul. You shall have her to-morrow morning, vil by half.
and a venison pasty into the bargain. Sir Cha. But I presume, sir, you won't see Sir Cha. You'll let me have her fortune, too? your wife to-night, she'll be gone to bed
-you Sul. Fortune! why, sir, I have no quarrel to don't use to lie with your wife in that pickle?
her fortune-I hate only the woman, sir; and Sul. What! not lie with my wife! why, sir, none but the woman shall go. do you take me for an atheist, or a rake?
Sir Cha. But her fortune, sirSir Cha. If you hate her, sir, I think
had Sul. Can you play at whist, sir? better lie froin her.
Sir Chu. No, truly, sir. Sul. I think so, too, friend
-But I am a jus- Sul. Not at all-fours? tice of peace, and must do nothing against the Sir Cha. Neither. law.
Sul. Oons! where was this man bred ? [ Aside.] Sir Cha. Lav! As I take it, Mr Justice, no- Burn me, sir, I can't go home; 'tis but two o'body observes law for law's sake, only for the clock. good of those for whom it was made.
Sir Cha. For half an hour, sir, if you pleaseSul. But if the law orders me to send you to But you must consider 'tis late. gaol, you must lie there, my friend.
Sul. Late! that's the reason I can't go to bed Sir Cha. Not unless I commit a crime to de- -Come, sir
[Ercunt. serve it. Sul. A crime? Oons, an't I married?
Enter Cherry, runs across the stage, and knocks Sir Chu. Nay, sir, if you call marriage a crime,
at AIMWELL'S chamber-door. Enter Aimyou must disown it for a law. Sul. Eh !-I must be acquainted with you,
WELL, in his night-cap and gown. sir-But, sir, I should be very glad to know
Aim. What's the matter? You tremble, child; the truth of this matter.
you're frighted. Sir Cha. Truth, sir, is a profound sea; and few Cher. No wonder, sir; but, in short, sir, this
spouse, yet ?
very minute a gang of rogues are gone to rob my Arch. From the skies, madam -I'm a Jupilady Bountiful's house.
ter in love, and you shall be my Alcmena. Aim. How !
Mrs Sul. How came you in? Cher. I dogged them to the very door, and Arch. I flew in at the window, madam; your left them breaking in.
cousin Cupid lent me his wings, and your sister Aim. Have you alarmed any body else with Venus opened the casement.
Mrs Sul. I'm struck dumb with admiration. Cher. No, no, sir; I wanted to have discove- Arch. And I with wonder. (Looks passionatered the whole plot, and twenty other things, to ly at her.j How beautiful she looks the teemyour man Martin; but I have searched the ing jolly spring smiles in her blooming face; and whole house, and can't find him; where is he? when she was conceived, her mother sinelt to
Aim. No matter, child; will you guide me im- roses, looked on lillies> mediately to the house?
Cher. With all my heart, sir; my lady Boun- Lillies unfold their white, their fragrant charms, tiful is my god-mother, and I love Mrs Dorinda When the warm sun thus darts into their arms.
[Runs to her. Aim. Dorinda! the name inspires me; the Mrs Sul. Ah!
[Shrieks. glory and the danger shall be all my own. Come, Arch. Oons, madam, what do you mean?my life, let me but get my sword. [Ereunt. You'll raise the house.
Mrs Sul. Sir, I'll wake the dead before I'll SCENE II.—Changes to the bed-chamber in
bear this. What! approach me with the freeLADY BOUNTIFUL's house.
dom of a keeper? I am glad on't. Your impu
dence has cured me. Enter Mrs SULLEN and Dorinda, undressed ;
Arch. If this be impudence, (Kneels.] I leare a table and lights.
to your partial self; no panting pilgrim, after a
tedious, painful voyage, e'er bowed before his Dor. 'Tis very late, sister; no news of your saint with more devotion.
Mrs Şul. Now, now, I'm ruined if he kneels, Mrs Sul. No, I'm condemned to be alone till [Aside.) Rise, thou prostrate engineer; not all towards four, and then, perhaps, I may be execu- thy undermining skill shall reach my heart.ted with his company.
Rise, and know I am a woman without my sex; Dor. Well, my dear, I'll leave you to your I can love to the tenderness of wishes, sighs, rest; you'll go directly to bed, I suppose ? and tears—But go no farther-Still to con Mrs Sul. I don't know what to do; hey-ho! vince
that I'm more than woman, I can Dor. That's a desiring sigh, sister.
speak my frailty, confess my weakness, even for Mrs Sul. This is a languishing hour, sister.
Dor. And might prove a critical minute, if Arch. For me! [Going to lay hold on her. the pretty fellow were here.
Mrs Sul. Hold, sir; build not upon that Mrs Sul. Here! what, in my bed-chamber, at for my most mortal hatred follows, if you disntwo o'clock in the morning, I undressed, the fa- bey what I command you now leave me this mily asleep, my hated husband abroad, and my minute—if he denies, l'in lost. lovely fellow at my feet? -0 gad, sister!
[Aside. Dor. Thoughts are free, sister, and then I Arch. Then you'll promise allow you. So, my dear, good-night.
Mrs Sul Any thing another time. Mrs Sul. A good rest to my dear Dorinda- Arch. When shall I come? Thoughts are free! they are so? Why, then, Mrs Sul. To-morrow; when you will. suppose him here, dressed like a youthful, gay, Arch. Your lips must seal the promise, and burning bridegroom, [Here Archer steuls Mrs Sul. Pshaw ! out of the closet.] with tongue enchanting, eyes Arch. They must, they must. (Kisses her... bewitching, knees imploring. (Turns a little on Raptures, and paradise ! And why not now, iny one side, and sees Archer in the posture she de- angel? The time, the place, silence and secrecy, scribes.] Ah! (Shrieks, and runs to the other all conspire-And, now, the conscious stars have side of the stage.] Have my thoughts raised a pre-ordained this moment for my happiness. spirit? What are you, sir, a man or a devil?
[Takes her in his arms. Arch. A man, a man, madam! [Rising Mrs Sul. You will not, cannot, sure. Mrs Sul. How shall I be sure of it?
Arch. If the sun rides fast, and disappoints Arch. Madam, I'll give you demonstration not inortals of to-morrow's dawn, this night shall this minute.
[Takes her hand. crown my joys. Mrs Sul. What, sir, do vou intend to be rude? Mrs Sul. You shall kill me first, Arch. Yes, madam, if you please.
Arch. I'll die with you. Mrs Sul. In the name of wonder, whence
[Carrying her off. tame yes
Mrs Sul. Thieves ! thieves ! murder:
Enter Scrub in his breeches, and one shoe on.
Scrub. Eh? my dear brother, let me kiss thee !
(Kisses ARCH. Scrub. Thieves! thieves ! murder! popery! Arch. This way–HereArch. Ha! the very timorous stag will kill in
[Arch, and SCRUB hide behind the bed. rutting time. [Draws, and Offers to stab SCRUB.
Enter GIBBET, with a dark lanthorn in one Scrub. [Kneeling) O pray, sir, spare all I
hand, and a pistol in the other. have, and take my life.
Gib. Ay, ay, this is the chamber, and the lady Mrs Sul. [Holding, Arcuer's hand.) What alone. does the fellow meap?
Mrs Sul. Who are you, sir! What would you Scrub. O, madam, down upon your knees, have? D'ye come to rob me? your marrow-bones-he's one of them.
Gib. Rob you ! Alack-a-day, madam, I'm only Mrs Sul. Of whom?
a younger brother, madam; and so, madam, if Scrub. One of the rogues-I beg your pardon, you make a noise, I'll shoot you through the one of the honest gentlemen that just now are head. But don't be afraid, madam. [Laying broke into the house.
his lanthorn and pistol upon the table.] These Arch. How !
rings, madam; don't be concerned, madam; I Mrs Sul. I hope you did not come to rob me? | have a profound respect for you, madamn; your
Arch. Indeed I did, madam; but I would keys, madam; don't be frighted, madam ; I'm the have taken nothing but what you might very most of a gentleman- [Searching her pockets.] well have spared; but your crying thieves has wa- This necklace, madain; I never was rude to any ked this dreaming fool, and so he takes them for lady! I have a veneration—for this necklace granted.
[Here Archer, having come round, and seized Scrub. Granted ! 'tis granted, sir; take all we the pistol, takes Gibber by the collar, trips up have.
his heels, and claps the pistol to his breast.] Mrs Sul. The fellow looks as if he were broke Arch. Hold, profane villain, and take the reout of Bedlam.
ward of thy sacrilege! Scrub. Oons, madam, they are broke into the Gib. Oh! pray, sir, don't kill me; I an't prehouse with fire and sword; I saw them; heard pared. them; they'll be here this minute.
Arch. How many are there of thein, Scrub? Arch. What? thieves?
Scrub. Five and forty, sir. Scrub. Under favour, sir, I think so.
Arch. Then I must kill the villain, to have him Mrs Sul. What shall we do, sir?
out of the way. Arch. Madam, I wish your ladyship a good
Gib. Hold! hold, sir! we are but three, upon night. Mrs Sul. Will you leave me?
Arch. Scrub, will you undertake to secure Arch. Leave you! Lord, madam, did you not him? command me to be gone just now, upon pain of Scrub. Not I, sir! kill him, kill him! your immortal hatred ?
Arch. Run to Gipsey's chamber, there you'll Mrs Sul. Nay, but pray, sir
find the doctor ; bring him hither presently. [Takes hold of him.
[Exit SCRUB, running. Arch. Ha, ha, ha! now comes my turn to be Come, rogue, if you have a short prayer, say it. ravished-You see, madam, you must use men Gib. Sir, I have no prayer at all; the governone way or another : but take this by the way, ment has provided a chaplain to say prayers for good madam, that none but a fool will give you us on these occasions. the benefit of his courage, unless you'll take his Mrs Sul. Pray, sir, don't kill himn-you fright love along with it-How are they armed, friend? me as much as him. Scrub. With sword and pistol, sir.
Arch. The dog shall die, madam, for being the Arch. Hush !-I see a dark lanthorn coming occasion of my disappointment-Sirrah, this mothrough the gallery-Madam, be assured I will ment is your
last. protect you, or lose my life..
Gib. Sir, I'll give you two hundred pounds to Mrs Sul. Your life! No, sir, they can rob me spare my life. of nothing that I value half so much; therefore, Arch. Have you no more, rascal ? now, sir, let me intreat you to be gone.
Gib. Yes, sir, I can command four hundred; Arch. No, madam, I'll consult my own safety but I must reserve two of them to save my life for the sake of yours; I'll work by stratagem. at the sessions. Have you courage enough to stand the appear
Enter SCRUB and FOIGARD. ance of them?
Mrs Sul. Yes, yes, since I have escaped your Arch. llere, doctor; I suppose Scrub and you, hands, I can face any thing.
between you, may manage him. Lay hold of Arch. Come hither, brother Scrub; don't you him.
[Forg. lays hold of Gib. know me?
Gib. What! turned over to the priest already!
Look'e, doctor, you come before your time; Aim. And pray, carry these gentlemen to reap I an't condemned yet, I thank ye.
the benefit of the controversy. Foig. Come, my dear joy; I vil secure your
[Delivers the prisoners to SCRUB, who body and your shoul, too; I vil make you a good
leads them out. Catholic, and give you an absolution.
Mrs Sul. Pray, sister, how came my lord here? Gib. Absolution! Can you procure me a par
Dor. And, pray, how came that gentleman don, doctor?
here? Foig. No, joy.
Mrs Sul. I'll tell you the greatest piece of vilGib. Then you and your absolution may go to lainy.
[They talk apart. the devil.
Aim. I fancy, Archer, you have been more Arch. Convey him into the cellar: there bind successful in your adventures than the househim : take the pistol, and, if he offers to resist, breakers. shoot him through the head-and come back to
Arch. No matter for my adventure, yours is us with all the speed you can.
the principal-Press her this minute to marry Scrub. Ay, ay; come, doctor, do you hold him you—now while she's hurried between the palpifast, and I'll guard him.
[Exeunt. iation of her fear, and the joy of her deliverance; Mrs Sul. But how came the doctor?
now while the tide of her spirits is at high floodArch. In short, madam—[Shrieking without.] throw yourself at her feet, speak some romantic 'Sdeath! the rogues are at work with the other nonsense or other--confound her senses, bear ladies ; I'm vexed I parted with the pistol; but down her reasun, and away with her— The priest I must fly to their assistance--Will you stay here, is now in the cellar, and dares not refuse to do madam, or venture yourself with me?
the work. Mrs Sul. Oh, dear sir, with you.
Aim. But how shall I get off without being ob[Takes him by the arm, and ereunt. served?
Arch. You a lover, and not find a way to get SCENE III.—Changes to another apartment in off! Let me see. the house,
Aim. You bleed, Archer.
Arch. 'Sdeath, I'm glad on't; this wound will Enter Hounslow, dragging in Lady Bounti-l do the business. I'll amuse the old lady and
FUL, and Bagsuot, hauling in Dorinda; the Mrs Sullen, about dressing my wound, while you rogues with swords drawn.
carry off Dorinda.
Enter Lady BOUNTIFUL. Houn. Come, come, your jewels, mistress. Bag. Your keys, your keys, old gentlewoman. Lady Boun. Gentlemen, could we understand
how you would be gratified for the servicesEnter AIMWELL,
Arch. Come, come, my lady, this is no time dim. Turn this way, villains! I durst engage for compliments; I'm wounded, madam. an army in such a cause.
Lady Boun. and Mrs Sul. How, wounded !
Aim. None but what you may cure-
[Makes love in dumb shex. Arch. Hold, hold, my lord ! every man his Lady Boun. Let me see your arm, sir-I must bird, pray. (They engage man to man; the rogues have some powder-sugar to stop the blood are thrown down, and disarmed.] Shall we kill me !-an ugly gash; upon my word, sir, yo the rogues ?
must go to bed. Aim. No, no, we'll bind them.
Arch. Ay, my lady, a bed would do very well Arch. Ay, ay; here, madam, lend me your gar- -Madam [To Mrs Sullen) will you do me
[To Mrs SULLEN, who stands by him. the favour to conduct me to a chamber. Mrs Sul. The devil's in this fellow; he fights, Lady Boun. Do, do, daughter, while I get the Joves, and banters, all in a breath. Here's a cord, lint, and the probe, and the plaster ready. that the rogues brought with them, I suppose.
[Runs out one way, Aim. carries off Dor. Arch. Right, right; the rogue's destiny; a rope another.] to hang himself-Come, come, my lord, this is Arch. Come, madam, why don't you obey your but a scandalous sort of an office. [Binding the mother's commands ? rogues together. If our adventures should end Mrs Sul. How can you, after what is past, in this sort of hangman work-but I hope there have the confidence to ask me? is something in prospect that
Arch. And, if you go to that, how can you,
after what is past, bave the confidence to deny Enter SCRUB.
me ?-Was not this blood shed in your desence, Well, Scrub, have you secured your Tartar? and my life exposed for your protection ? Look'e,
Scrub. Yes, sir, í left the priest and him dis- madam, I'm none of your romantic fools that puting about religion.
fight giants and monsters for nothing; my valour
is downright Swiss; I am a soldier of fortune, Dor. Forbid it, Heaven! A counterfeit! and must be paid.
Aim. I am no lord, but a poor needy man, Mrs Sul. 'Tis ungenerous in you, sir, to up- come with a mean and scandalous design, to prey braid me with your services.
upon your fortune--but the beauties of your Arch. 'Tis ungenerous in you, madam, not to mind and person have so won me from myself, reward them.
that, like a trusty servant, I prefer the interest Mrs Sul. How! at the expence of my honour of my mistress to my own.
Arch. Honour! Can honour consist with in- Dor. Sure I have had the dream of some poor gratitude ? If you would deal like a woman of mariner: a sleeping image of a welcome port, honour, do like a man of honour. D'ye think I and wake involved in storms-Pray, sir, who are would deny you in such a case ?
Aim. Brother to the man whose title I usurpEnter Gipsey.
ed, but stranger to his honour or fortune, Gip. Madam, my lady ordered me to tell you, Dor. Matchless honesty !-Once I was proud, that your brother is below at the gate.
sir, of your wealth and title; but now, am prouder Mrs Sul. My brother! Heavens be praised that you want it. Now I can shew my love was --Sir, he shall thank you for your services; he justly levelled, and had no aim but love. Dochas it in his power.
tor, come in. Arch. Who is your brother, madam? Mrs Sul. Sir Charles Freeman. You'll excuse
Enter FOIGARD at one door, GIPSEY at another, me, sir; I must go and receive him.
who whispers DORINDA. [Erit Mrs Sul. Your pardon, sir; we sha’nt want you now, sir. Arch. Sir Charles Freeman! 'Sdeath and You must excuse me,I'll wait on you presently. hell! my old acquaintance. Now, unless Aim
[Exit with GIPSEY. well has made good use of his time, all our fair Foig. Upon my shoul, now, dis is foolish. machine goes souse into the sea like the Edistone.
Erit. [Exit. Aim. Gone ! and bid the priest depart-It has
an ominous look.
Arch. Courage, Tom-shall I wish you joy? Dor. Well, well, my lord, you have conquer- Aim. No. ed. Your late generous action will, I hope, Arch. Oons ! man, what ha' you been doing? plead for my easy yielding; though, I must own, Aim. O, Archer! my honesty, I fear, has ruinyour lordship had a friend in the fort before.
ed me. Aim. The sweets of Hybla dwell upon her Arch. How? tongue-Here, doctor
Aim. I have discovered myself.
Arch. Discovered ! and without my consent ! Enter ForGard, with a book.
What! have I embarked my small remains in Foig. Are you prepared, bote?
the same bottom with yours, and you dispose of Dor. I'm ready: but first, my lord, one word-all without my partnership? I have a frightful example of a hasty marriage Aim. O, Archer, I own my fault. in my own family; when I reflect upon't, it Arch. After conviction—'Tis then too late for shocks me.
Pray, my lord, consider a little pardon--You may remember, Mr Aimwell, Aim. Consider ! Do you doubt my honour, or that you proposed this folly-As you begun, so
end it-Henceforth, I'll hunt my fortune single. Dor. Neither. I do believe you equally just So farewell. as brave-And were your whole sex drawn out Aim. Stay, my dear Archer, but a minute ! for me to choose, I should not cast a look upon Arch. Stay! What, to be despised, exposed, the multitude, if you were absent-But, my lord, and laughed at ! No, I would sooner change conI'm a woman : colours, concealments, may hide a ditions with the worst of the rogues we just now thousand faults in me-Therefore, know me bet- bound, than bear one scornful smile from the ter first; I hardly dare atfirm I know myself in proud knight that once I treated as my equal. any thing except my love.
Aim. What knight? Aim. Such goodness who could injure? I find Arch. Sir Charles Freeman, brother to the myself unequal to the task of villain. She has | lady that I had almost- -But no matter for gained my soul, and made it bonest like her own that; 'tis a cursed night's work, and so I leave - cannot hurt her. [ Aside.) Doctor, retire. you to make the best on't. [E.rit ForGard.] Madam, behold your lover and Aim. Freeman ! One word, Archer. Still your proselyte, and judge of my passion by my con- I have hopes; methought, she received my conversion-I'm all a lie, nor dare I give a fiction to fession with pleasure. yourarms; I'm all a counterteit, except my passion. Arch. 'Sdeath! who doubts it?