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Sir Geo. Oh, I honour men of the sword ! | would be no enduring his impertinence. He is And, I presume, this gentleman is lately come pressing to be employed, and willing to execute; from Spain or Portugal -by his scars.
but some ill fate generally attends all he underMar. No, really, sir George, mine sprung from takes, and he oftener spoils an intrigue than belps civil fury Happening last night into the groom it. porter's I had a strong inclination to go ten gui Mar. I have always your good word; but if I neas with a sort of a, sort of a-kind of a milk- miscarry, 'tis none of my fault; I follow my insop, as I thought. A pox of the dice! he flung structions. out, and my pockets being empty, as Charles Cha. Yes, witness the merchant's wife. knows they often are, he proved a surly North Mar. Pish, pox! that was an accident. Briton, and broke my face for my deficiency. Sir. Geo. What was't, prithee?
Sir Geo. Ha, ha, ha! and did not you draw? Mar. Nay, Charles, now, don't expose your
Mar. Draw, sir! Why, I did but lay my hand friead. upon my sword, to make a swift retreat, and he Cha. Why, you must know, I had lent a cerroared out—Now the deel a ma saul, sir, gin ye tain merchant my hunting horses, and was to touch yer steel Ise whip mine through yer wem. have met his wife in his absence. Sevding him Sir Geo. Ha, ha, ha!
along with my groom to make the compliment, Cha. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Safe was the word. So, and to deliver a letter to the lady at the same you walked off, I suppose.
time; what does he do, but gives the husband the Mar. Yes, for I avoid fighting, purely to be letter, and offers her the horses ! serviceable to my friends, you know
Mar. Why, to be sure, I did offer her the Sir Geo. Your friends are much obliged to horses, and I remember you was even with me, you, sir : I hope you'll rank me in that number. for you denied the letter to be yours, and swore
Mar. Sir George, a bow from the side-box, or I had a design upon her, which my bones paid to be seen in your chariot, binds me ever yours.
for. Sir Geo. Trifles; you may command them, Cha. Come, sir George, let's walk round, if when you please,
you are not engaged, for I have sent my man upCha. Provided he may command you.
on a little earnest business, and I have ordered Mar. Me! Why, I live for no other purpose him to bring me the answer into the Park.
-Sir George, I have the honour to be cares Mar. Business ! and I not know it! Egad I'll sed by most of the reigning toasts of the town: watch him. I'll tell them you are the finest gentleman Sir Geo. I must beg your pardon, Charles; I
Sir Geo. No, no; prithee, let me alone to tell am to meet your father. the ladies-my parts—Can you convey a letter Chu. My father! upon occasion, or deliver a message with an air Sir Geo. Aye, and about the oddest bargain, of business, ba?
perhaps, you ever heard of; but I'll not impart Mar. With the assurance of a page, and the till I know the success. gravity of a statesman.
Mar. What can his business be with Sir PranSir Geo. You know Miranda ?
cis ? Now would I give all the world to know it! Mar. What ! My sister ward? Why, her guar-Why the devil should not one know every man's dian is mine; we are fellow-sufferers. Ah, he is concerns ?
Aside. a covetous, cheating, sanctified, curmudgeon : Cha. Prosperity to it, whatever it be: I have that sir Francis Gripe is a damned old-hypo- private affairs, too: over a bottle, we'll compare critical
Cha. Hold, hold; I suppose, friend, you for Mar. Charles knows I love a glass as well as get that he is iny father?'
any man; I'll make one; shall it be to-night? Mar. Egad, and so I did, Charles I ask your And I long to know their secrets. [Aside. pardon, Charles, but it is for your sake I hate him. Well, I say the world is inistaken in him;
Enter WHISPER. his out-side piety makes him every man's execu Whis. Sir, sir, Mrs Patch says Isabinda's Spator, and his inside cunning inakes him every heir's nish father has quite spoiled the plot, and she gaoler. Egad, Charles, I'm half persuaded that cannot meet you in the Park, but he infallibly thou’rt some ward, too, and never of his getting will go out this afternoon, she says : but I must - for never were two things so unlike as you and step again to know the hour. your father; he scrapes up every thing, and thou Mar. What did Whisper say now? I shall go spendest every thing; every body is indebted to stark mad, if I'm not let into the secret. him, and thou art indebted to every body.
[Aside. Cha. You are very free, Mr Marplot.
Cha. Curst misfortune! Mar. Aye, I give and take, Charles you may Mar. Curst! What's curst, Charles ? be as free with me, you know.
Cha. Come along with me; my heart feels pleaSir Geo. A pleasant fellow.
sure at her name. Sir George, your's; we'll Cha. The dog is diverting, sometimes, or there meet at the old place the usual hour.
Sir Geo. Agreed. I think I see sir Francis Mir. It is necessary such a report should be, yonder.
[Erit Sir GEORGE. Patch. Cha. Marplot, you must excuse me, I am en Patch. But is it true, madam? gaged.
Mir. That's not absolutely necessary; Mar. Engaged! Egad, I'll engage my life I'll Patch. I thought it was only the old strain, know what your engagement is.
coaxing him still for your own, and railing at all [Exit Marplot. the young fellows about town: in my mind, now,
you are as ill plagued with your guardian, maEnter MIRANDA, coming out of a chuir.
dam, as my lady is with her father. Mir. Let the chair wait. My sertant that Mir. No, I have liberty, wench; that she dogged sir George said he was in the Park. wants: what would she give now to be in this
deshabille in the open air, nay more, in pursuit of Enter Patch.
the young fellow she likes? for that's my case, I Ha! Miss Patch alone! Did not you tell me you had contrived a way to bring Isabinda to the Patch. As for that, madam, she's even with Park?
you; for, though she can't come abroad, we have Patch. Oh, madam, your ladyship cannot in a way to bring him home in spite of old Argus. agine what a wretched disappointment we have Mir. Now, Patch, your opinion of my choice, met with! Just as I had fetched a suit of my for here he comes. Ha! my guardian with clothes for a disguise, comes my old master into him! what can be the meaning of this? I'm sure his closet, which is right against her chamber sir Francis can't know me in this dress. Let me door: this struck us into a terrible fright-At observe them.
[They withdraw. length I put on a grave face, and asked him if
Enter Sir Francis Gripe and SIR GEORGE he was at leisure for his chocolate? in hopes to draw him out of his hele; but he snapped my
AIRY. nose off: no, I shall be busy here, these two Sir Fran. Verily, sir George, thou wilt repent hours. At which my poor mistress, seeing no throwing away thy money so; for I tell thee sinway of escape, ordered me to wait on your lady- cerely, Miranda, my charge, does not like a ship with the sad relation.
young fellow; they are all vicious, and seldom Mir. Unhappy Isabinda! Was ever any thing make good husbands : in sober sadness, she can't so unaccountable as the huinour of Sir Jealous abide them. Traffick?
Mir. [Peeping.] In sober sadness, you are Patch. Oh, madam, it's his living so long in mistaken—What can this mean? Spain. He vows he'll spend half his estate, but Sir Geo. Look'e, sir Francis; whether she can he'll be a parliament-man, on purpose to bring in or cannot abide young fellows, is not the busia bill for women to wear veils, and other odious ness : will you take the fifty guineas ? Spanish customs-he swears it is the height of Sir Fran. In good truth I will not-for I impudence to have a woman seen barefaced, knew thy father; he was a hearty wary man; even at church, and scarce believes there's a true and I cannot consent that his son should squanbegotten child in the city.
der away what he saved to no purpose. Mir. Ha, ha, ha! how the old fool torments Mir. [Peeping.] Now, in the name of wonhimself ! Suppose he could introduce his rigid der, what bargain can he be driving about me for rules-does he think we could not match them in fifty guineas ? contrivance? No, no; let the tyrant man make Patch. I wish it be not for the first night's what laws he will, if there's a woman under the lodging, madam. government, I warrant she finds a way to break Sir Geo. Well, sir Francis, since you are so them. Is his mind set upon the Spaniard for his conscientious for my father's sake, then permit son-in-law still?
me the favour gratis. Patch. Aye, and he expects liim by the next Mir. (Peeping.) The favour! O’ my life I fleet, which drives his daughter to inelancholy believe 'tis as you said, Patch! and despair. But, madam, I find you retain the Sir Fran. No verily; if thou dost not buy thy same gay cheerful spirit you had when I waited experience thou wilt never be wise; therefore, on your ladyship. My lady is mighty good-hu- give me a hundred, and try thy fortune. moured, too; and I have found a way to make Sir Geo. The scruples arose, I find, from the sir Jealous believe I am wholly in lois interest, scanty sum.-Let me see-a hundred guineaswhen my real design is to serve her ; he makes [Takes them out of a purse, and chinks them.] me her gaoler, and I set her at liberty.
ila ! they have a very pretty sound, and a very Mir. I knew thy prolific brain would be of pleasing look-But then, Miranda -but if she singular service to her, or I had not parted with should be cruelthee to her father,
Mir. [Peeping. As ten to one I shallPatch. But, madam, the report is that you are
Sir Fran. Ay, do; consider on't. He, he, he ! going to marry your guardian!
Sir Geo. No, I'll do't.
Patch. Do't! what, whether you will or no, I have you committed against the god of love, that madam ?
he should revenge them so severely, to stamp Sir Geo. Come, to the point; here's the gold; husband on your forehead? sum up the conditions
Sir Geo. For my folly, in having so often met [STR Fran. pulling out a paper.!
you here, without pursuing the laws of nature, Mir. (Peeping.] Ay, for Heaven's sake do, for and exercising her command -But I resolve, my expectation is on the rack!
ere we part now, to know who you are, where Sir Fran. Well, at your peril be it.
you live, what kind of flesh and blood your face Sir Geo. Ay, ay; go on.
is; therefore, unmask, and don't put me to the Sir Fran. Imprimis
, you are to be admitted trouble of doing it for you. into my house in order to move your suit to Mir Mir. My face is the same flesh and blood with anda, for the space of ten minutes, without let my hand, sir George, which, if you'll be so rude or molestation, provided I remain in the same to provoke
Sir Geo. You'll apply it to my cheek-the laSir Geo. But out of earshot.
dies' favours are always welcome, but I must Sir Fran. Well, well, I don't desire to hear have that cloud withdrawn.-[Taking hold of what you say; ha, ha, ha! in consideration I her.]—Remember you are in the Park, child; am to have that purse and a hundred guineas. and what a terrible thing would it be to lose this
Sir Geo. Take it [Gives him the purse. pretty white hand!
Mir. [Peeping.) So ! 'tis well it's no worse: I'll Mir. And how will it sound in a chocolatefit you both
house, that sir George Airy rudely pulled off a Sir Geo. And this agreement is to be perform- lady's mask, when he had given her his honour ed to-day.
that he never would, directly or indirectly, enSir Fran. Ay, ay ; the sooner the better. deavour to know her till she gave him leave? Poor fool ! how Miranda and I shall laugh at Patch. I wish we were safe out. him !-Well, sir George, ha, ha, ha! take the Sir Geo. But, if that lady thinks fit to pursue, last sound of your guineas, ha, ha, ha! (Chinks and meet me at every turn, like some troubled them.)
[Exit. spirit, shall I be blamed if I inquire into the realiMir. (Peeping.) Sure he does not know I am ty? I would have nothing dissatisfied in a female Miranda.
shape. Sir Geo. A very extraordinary bargain I have Mir. What shall I do?
[Pauses. made truly, if she should be really in love Sir Geo. Aye, prithee, consider; for thou shalt with this old cuff now!-Psha! that's moral- find me very much at thy service. ly impossible. But then, what hopes have I Patch. Suppose, sir, the lady should be in love to succeed? I never spoke to her
with you? Mir. [Peeping.] Say you so ? then I am safe. Sir Geo. Oh! I'll return the obligation in a
Sir Geo. What though my tongue never spoke? moment. my eyes said a thousand things, and my hopes Patch. And marry her? flattered me her's answered them. If I'm lucky Sir Geo. Ha, ha, ha! that's not. the
-If not, it is but a hundred guineas thrown love her, child. away. (MIRANDA and Patch come forward. Mir. If he discovers me I shall die-Which Mir. Upon what, sir George?
way shall I escape? Let me see [Pauses. Sir Geo. Ha! my incognita-upon a woman, Sir Geo. Well, madammadam.
Mir. I have it-Sir George, 'tis fit you should Mir. They are the worst things you can deal allow something; if you'll excuse my face, and in, and damage the soonest; your very breath turn your back, (if you look upon me I shall sink, destroys them, and, I fear, you'll never see your even masked as I am) I will confess why I have return, sir George, ha, ha, ha!
engaged you so often, who I am, and where I Sir Geo. Were they more brittle than china, live. and dropped to pieces with a touch, every atom Sir Geo. Well, to shew you I'm a man of hoof her I have ventured at, if she is but mistress nour, I accept the conditions : let me but ovce of thy wit, balances ten times the sum. Prithee, know those, and the face won't be long a secret let me see thy face!
Mir. By no means; that may spoil your opi Patch. What mean you, madam? nion of my sense
Mir. To get off. Sir Geo. Rather confirm it, madam.
Sir Geo. 'Tis something indecent to turn one's Patch. So, rob the lady of your gallantry, sir. back upon a lady; but you command, and I obcy.
Sir Geo. No, child; a dish of chocolate in the [Turns his back] Come, madam, beginmorning never spoils my dinner: the other lady Mir. First, then, it was my unhappy lot to see I design a set weat; so there's no danger. you at Paris [Draws back a litile way, and
Mir. Matrimony! Ha, ha, ha! What crimes speaks.], at a ball upon a birthday; your shape
and air charmed my eyes, your wit and complai- | expects I should comfort her; and, to do her sance my soul, and from that fatal night I loved justice, she has said enough to encourage me. you.
[Drawing back. Turns about.] Ha! gone! the devil! Jilted!
Why, what a tale has she invented-of Paris, And when you left the place grief seized me so, balls, and birth-days ! Egad I'd give ten guineas Nor rest iny heart nor sleep my eyes could know, to know who the gipsey is-A curse of my follyLast I resolved a hazardous point to try,
I deserve to lose her. What woman can forgive And quit the place in search of liberty. (Erit. a man that turns his back!
Sir Geo. Excellent! I hope she's handsome The bold and resolute in love and war Well, now madam, to the two other things, your To conquer take the right and swiftest way; name, and where you live-I am a gentleman, The boldest lover soonest gains the fair, and this confession will not be lost upon me As courage makes the rudest force obey : Vay, prithee, don't weep, but go on, for I find my Take no denial, and the dames adore ye; heart melts in thy behalf-Speak' quickly, or I Closely pursue them, and they fall before ye. shall turn about Not yet-Poor lady! she
with my own money
y! Which way shall I get out of his hands.
Aside. Enter Sir Francis Gripe and MIRANDA. Sir Fran. Well, what art thou thinking, my Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
girl, ha ? how to banter sir George! Mir. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Oh, I shall die Mir. I must not pretend to banter : he knows with laughing--the most romantic adventure my tongue too well. (Aside.] No, Gardy, I have Ha, ha, ha! What does the odious young fop thought of a way will confound him more than mean? A hundred pieces to talk ten minutes with all I could say, if I should talk to him seven me! ha, ha, ha, ha!
years. Sir Fran. And I am to be by too; there's the Sir Fran. How's that? oh! I'm transported, jest ! adad, if it had been in private, I should not I'm ravished, I'm mad !have cared to trust the young dog.
Mir. It would make you mad if you knew all: Mir. Indeed and indeed but you might, Gar- [Aside.] I'll not answer him a word, but be dumb dy-Now, methinks, there's nobody handsomer to all he says. than you : so neat, so clean, so good-humoured, Sir Fran. Dumb! good; ha, ha, ha! Excel. and so loving
lent! ha, ha, ha, ha! I think I have you now, Sir Fran. Pretty rogue, pretty rogue! and so Sir George. Dumb! he'll go distracted-well, thou shalt find me, if thou dost prefer thy Gardy she's the wittiest rogue. Ha, ha, dumb! I can't before these caperers of the age : thou shalt out- but laugh, ha, ha! to think how damned mad shine the queen’s box on an opera night; thou he'll be when he finds he has given his money shalt be the envy of the ring, (for I will carry away for a dumb show; ha, ha, ha! thee to Hyde-Park) and thy equipage shall sur Mir. Nay, Gardy, if he did but know my pass the what d'ye call them, ainbassadors. thoughts of him, it would make him ten times
Mir. Nay, I am sure the discreet part of my madder; ha, ha, ha, ha! sex will envy me more for the inside furniture, Sir Fran. Ay, so it would, Chargy, to hold him when you are in it, than my outside equipage. in such derision, to scorn to answer him, to be
Sir Fran. A cunning baggage i'faith thou art, dumb ! ha, ha, ha! and a wise one too! and, to shew thee that thou hast not chose amiss, I'll this moment disinherit
Enter CHARLES. my son, and settle my whole estate upon thee. Sir Fran. How now, sirrah! who let you in ?
Mir. There's an old rogue now ! [Aside.] No, Cha. My necessities, sir. Gardy, I would not have your name be so black Sir Fran. Your necessities are very impertiin the world. You know my father's will runs, nent, and ought to have sent before they entered. that I am not to possess my estate, without your Cha. Sir, I knew 'twas a word would gain adconsent, till I am five-and-twenty; you shall only mittance nowhere. abate the odd seven years, and make me mistress Sir Fran. Then, sirrah, how durst you rudely of my estate to-day, and I'll make you master of thrust that upou your father, which nobody else my person to-morrow.
would admit? Sir Fran, Humph! that may not be safe Cha. Sure the name of a son is a sufficient plea. Na, Chargy, I'll settle it upon thee for pin-money, I ask this lady's pardon if I have intruded. and that will be every bit as well, thou know’st. Sir Fran. Ay, ay; ask her pardon and her bles Mir. Unconscionable old wretch ! bribe me sing, too, if you expect any thing from ine.
Mir. I believe yours, Sir Francis, in a purse of
Sir Fran. So! here's another extravagant coxguineas, would be more material. Your son’ may comb, that will spend his fortune before he comes have business with you; I'll retire.
to't; but he shall pay swinging interest, and so Sir Fran. I guess his business; but I'll dis- let the fool go on.-Well, what, does necessity patch him; I expect the knight every minute : bring you too, sir? you'll be in readiness?
Mar. You have hit it, guardian I want a Mir. Certainly: my expectation is more upon hundred pounds. the wing than yours, old gentleman. [Aside. Erit. Sir Fran. For what? Sir Fran. 'Well, sir?
Mar. Pogh! for a hundred things I can't, Cha. Nay, it is very ill, sir; my circumstances for my life, tell you for what. are, I'm sure.
Cha. Sir, I suppose I have received all the anSir Fran. And what's that to me, sir? your swer I am like to have. management should have made them better.' Mar. Oh, the devil ! if he gets out before me,
Cha. If you please to entrust me with the ma- I shall lose him again. nagement of my estate, I shall endeavour it, sir. Sir Fran. Ay, sir; and you may be marching
Sir Fran. What, to set upon a card, and buy as soon as you please—I must see a change in a lady's favour at the price of a thousand pieces; your temper, ere you find one in inine. to rig out an equipage for a wench, or, by your Mar. Pray, sir, dispatch me; the money, sir; carelessness, to enrich your steward; to fine for I'm in mighty haste. sheriff, or put up for a parliament-man?
Sir Fran. Fool, take this, and go to the cashCha. I hope I should not spend it this way: ier. I sha'nt be long plagued with thee. however, I ask only for what my uncle left me;
[Gives him a note yours you may dispose of as you please, sir. Mar. Devil take the cashier! I shall certain
Sir Fran. That I shall, out of your reach, I ly have Charles gone before I come back. assure you, sir. Adad, these young fellows think
[Runs out. old men get estates for nothing but them to Cha. Well, sir, I take my leave—but rememsquander away in dicing, wenching, drinking, ber, you cxpose an only son to all the miseries of dressing, and so forth!
wretched poverty, which too often lays the plan Cha. I think I was born a gentleman, sir; I'm for scenes of mischief. sure my uncle bred me like one..
Sir Fran. Stay, Charles; I have a sudden Sir Fran. From which you would infer, sir, thought come into my head, may prove to thy that gaming, whoring, and the pox, are requisites advantage. for a gentleman.
Cha. Ha! does he relent? Cha. Monstrous ! when I would ask him only Sir Fran. My Lady Wrinkle, worth forty thoufor a support, he falls into these unmannerly re- sand pounds, sets up for a handsome young husproaches. I must, though against my will, em- band; she praised thec t'other day; though the ploy invention, and, by stratagem, relieve myself. matchmakers can get twenty guineas for a sight
[Aside. of her, I can introduce thee for nothing, Sir Fran. Sirrah, what is it you mutter, sirrah? Cha. My lady Wrinkle, sir! why, she has but ha! (Holds up his cane.) I say you sha'nt have a groat out of my hands, till I please and may Sir Fran. Then she'll see but half
your extrabe I'll never please ; and what's that to
vagance, sir. Cha. Nay, to be robbed, or have one's throat Cha, Condemn me to such a piece of deforcut, is not much
mity! a toothless, dirty, wry-necked, hunchSir Fran. What's that, sirrah? would you rob backed hag ! me, or cut my throat, ye rogue?
Sir Fran. Hunch-backed! so much the better; Cha. Heaven forbid, sir !-I said no such then she has a rest for her misfortunes, for thou thing.
wilt load her swingingly. Now, I warrant, you Sir Fran. Mercy on me! what a plague it is think this is no offer of a father! forty thousand to have a son of one-and-twenty, who wants to pounds is nothing with you! elbow one out of one's life to edge himself into Cha. Yes, sir, I think it is too much; a young, the estate !
beautiful woman, with half the money, would be
more agreeable. I thank you, sir; but you chuse Enter MARPLOT.
better for yourself, I find.
Sir Fran. Out of my doors, you dog! you preMar. Egad, he's here!- I was afraid I had lost tend to meddle with my marriage, sirrah! him: his secret could not be with his father; his Cha. Sir, I obey: butwants are public there.-Guardian, your servant Sir Fran. But me no buts--Begone, sir! dare
-0 Charles, are you there? I know, by that sor- to ask me for money again-refuse forty thourowful countenance of thine, the old gentleman's sand pounds! Out of my doors, I say, without refist is as close as his strong box-—But I'll help ply! thee. [ Apart.
[Erit CHA. Vol. II.