SCENE I-A Street.

Enter LOVEWIT and Neighbours.

Love. Has there been such resort, say you? 1 Nei. Daily, sir.

2 Nei. And nightly, too.

3 Nei. Ay, some as brave as lords.

4 Nei. Ladies and gentlewomen.

5 Nei. Citizens' wives, and knights in coaches. 2 Nei. Yes, and oyster-women.

1 Nei. Beside other gallants. 3 Nei. Sailor's wives.

4 Nei. Tobacco-men.

5 Nei. Another Pimlico!

Love. What device should he bring forth now? I love a teeming wit as I love my nourishment. Pray, Heaven, he have not kept such open house, That he hath sold my hangings and my bedding; I left him nothing else. If he have eat them, A plague o' the mouth, say I.

When saw you him?

1 Nei. Who, sir? Jeremy?

2 Nei. Jeremy, butler?

We saw him not this month.
Love. How!

4 Nei. Not these five weeks, sir.

6 Nei. These six weeks, at the least.

Love. Ye amaze me, neighbours!

5 Nei. Sure, if your worship know not where he is,

He's slipped away.

6 Nei. Pray, Heaven, he be not made away. [He knocks. Love. Ha! It is no time to question, then. 6 Nei. About

Some three weeks since, I heard a doleful cry, As I sat up, a mending my wife's stockings.

Love. This is strange, that none will answer! Didst thou hear

Love. Gallants, men, and women,

And of all sorts, tag-rag, been seen to flock here In threaves, these ten weeks, as to a second hog'sden,

In days of Pimlico and Eye-bright.
Face. Sir,

Their wisdoms will not say so!

Love. To-day, they speak

Of coaches and gallants; one in a French hood Went in, they tell me; and another was seen In a velvet gown, at the window; divers more Pass in and out

Face. They did pass through the doors, then, Or walls, I assure their eye-sights, and their spectacles;

For here, sir, are the keys, and there have been,
In this my pocket, now above twenty days.
For, on my faith to your worship, for these three
weeks,

And upwards, the door has not been opened.
Love, Strange!

4 Nei. Good faith, I think I saw a coach.
Love. Do you but think it now?

And but one coach?

4 Nei. We cannot tell, sir; Jeremy Is a very honest fellow.

Face. Did you see me at all?

1 Nei. No; that we are sure on. Love. Fine rogues to have your testimonies built on!

Re-enter 3d Neighbour.

3 Nei. Is Jeremy come?

1 Nei. Oh, yes; you may leave your tools; We were deceived; he says he has had the keys, And the door has been shut these three weeks. 3 Nei. Like enough Love. Peace, and

hence, you changelings! Face. [Aside.] Surly come! And Mammon made acquainted! They'll tell all. How shall I beat them off? What shall I do? Nothing's more wretched than a guilty conscience.

Enter SURLY and MAMMON.

Sur. No, sir, he was a great physician. This, It was no bawdy-house, but a mere chancel. You knew the lord and his sister.

Your stench is broke forth: abomination
Is in the house.

Kas. Aye, my suster's there.
Ana. The place

cheaters?

Love. What knaves, what cheaters?

Mam. Subtle, and his Lungs.

Face. The gentleman is distracted, sir. No Lungs,

Nor lights have been seen here these three weeks,

Kas. Yes, I will fetch the scavenger and the constable,

Trib. You shall do well.

Ana. We'll join to weed them out.

Kas. You will not come, then, punk device, my suster?

Ana. Call her not sister. She's a harlot, ve

SCENE II.-A Chamber.

Enter SUBTLE, DAPPER, and DoL.
Sub. How! ha' you eaten your gag?
Dap. Yes, faith, it crumbled
Away in my mouth.

Sub. You ha' spoiled all then.
Dap. No;

I hope my aunt of Fairy will forgive me.
Sub. Your aunt's a gracious lady; but, in troth,
You were to blame.

Dap. The fume did over ome me,
And I did do't to stay my stomach. Pray you,
So satisfy her grace.

Enter FACE.

Face. How now! Is his mouth down?
Sub. Ay, he has spoken.

Face. A pox! I heard him, and you too-He's undone, then

I have been fain to say the house is haunted
With spirits, to keep churl back.

Sub. And hast thou done it?

Face. Sure, for this night.

Sub. Why, then, triumph and sing Of Face so famous, the precious king Of present wits!

Face. Did you not hear the coil

About the door?

Face. Let us see them. Where's the money?
Sub. Here.

Face. The brethren's money, this. Drugger's
and Dapper's in this,

Mammon's ten pounds: eight score before.
Where be the French petticoats,
And girdles, and hangers?

Sub. Here i' the trunk,

And the bolts of lawn.

Face. Is Drugger's damask there?
Sub. Yes.

Face. Give me the keys.

Dol. Why you the keys?

Sub. No matter, Dol; because

We shall not open them, before he comes.

Face. Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed;

Nor have them forth. Do you see? Not forth, Dol.

Dol. No!

Face. No, my smock-rampant. The right is, my master

Knows all, has pardoned me, and he will keep

them;

Doctor, 'tis true (you look) for all your figures:
I sent for him indeed. Wherefore, good part-

ners,

Both he, and she, be satisfied: for here
Determines the indenture tripartite,
'Twixt Subtle, Dol, and Face. All I can do,
Is to help you over the wall, o' the backside;
Or lend you a sheet to save your velvet gown,
Dol.

Here will be officers presently; bethink you
Of some course suddenly to 'scape the dock;
For thither you'll come else. Hark you! thunder.
[Some knock.

Sub. You are a precious fiend!
Off. Open the door.

[Outside.

race. Dol, I am sorry for thee i'faith. But,

Love. What do you mean, my masters?
Mam. Open your door,

Cheaters, bawds, conjurers.
Offi. Or we'll break it open.
Love. What warrant have you?

Offi. Warrant enough, sir, doubt not.
Love. Is there an officer there?

Offi. Yes, two or three for failing.
Love. Have but patience,

And I will open it straight.
Face. Sir, have you done?
Is it a marriage? perfect?
Love. Yes, my brain.

Face. Off with your ruff, and cloak then; be
yourself, sir.

Sur. Down with the door.
Kas. 'Slight, ding it open.
Love. Hold,

Hold, gentlemen! what means this violence?
Mam. Where is this collier?

Sur. And my captain Face?
Mam. These day-owls?

Sur. That are birding in men's purses.
Mam. Madam Suppository?

Kas. Doxey, my suster?

Ana. Locusts of the foul pit.

Trib. Prophane as Bell and the Dragon.

Ana. Worse than the grashoppers, or the lice

of Egypt.

Love. Good gentlemen, hear me.

ficers,

And cannot stay this violence?

Offi. Keep the peace.

Are you of

Love. Gentlemen, what is the matter! Whom do you seek?

Mam. The chymical cozener.

Sur. And the captain pander.
Kas. The nun, my suster.
Mam. Madam Rabbi.

Ana. Scorpions and caterpillars.
Love. Fewer at once, I pray you.

Offi. One after another, gentlemen, I charge

you.

By virtue of my staff.

Ana. They are the vessels

H

Of pride, lust, and the cart.

Love. Good zeal, lie still

A little while.

Trib. Peace, deacon Ananias.

Love. The house is mine here, and the doors

are open:

If there be any such persons you seek for,
Use your authority;

I am but newly come to town, and finding
This tumult 'bout my door (to tell you true)
It somewhat 'mazed me; till my man here, fear-
ing

My more displeasure, told me had done
Somewhat an insolent part, let out my house

To a doctor, and a captain; who, what they are,
Or where they be, he knows not.
Mam. Are they gone?
Love. You may go in and search, sir.
find

[They enter. Here, I

The empty walls worse than I left them, smoked,
A few cracked pots and glasses, and a furnace;
The ceiling filled with poesies of the candle:
Only one gentlewoman, I met here,
That is within, that said she was a widow

Kas. Aye, that's my suster. I'll go thump her.
Where is she?
Exit.
Love. And should ha' married a Spanish count,
but he,

When he came to't, neglected her so grossly,
That I, a widower, am gone through with her.
Sur. How! Have I lost her, then?
Love. Were you the Don, sir!
Good faith, now, she does blame

you extremely,

and says You swore, and told her, you had taken the pains To dye your beard, and umbre o'er your face, Borrowed a suit and ruff all for her love, And then did nothing. What an oversight, And want of putting forward, sir, was this! Well fare an old harquebuzier, yet!

Could prime his powder, and give fire, and hit, All in a twinkling.

Beside my first materials, and my goods,

I cannot tell. It may be they should. What then?

Love. What a great loss in hope have you sustained!

Mam. Not I, the commonwealth has. I will go mount a turnip-cart, and preach The end o' the world, within these two months, Surly, what! in a dream?

Sur. Must I needs cheat myself, With that same foolish vice of honesty! Come, let us go, and hearken out the rogues. That Face I'll mark for mine, if I e'er meet him. [Exeunt.

Face. If you get off the angry child, now, sir—

Proceed.

Here stands my dove; stoop at her if

you dare. Kas. 'Slight, I must love him! I cannot chuse,

i' faith!

An' I should be hanged for't. Suster, I protest, I honour thee for this match.

Love. Oh, do

you so, sir?

Kas. Yes, an' thou canst take tobacco, and drink, old boy,

left.