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Vio. By Heaven, thou hast no rival in my heart! | much from the character of a gentleman, I assure let that suffice-Nay, sure, you will not let my you. father find you here -Distraction!
Fel. (Counterfeits drunkenness.] Who, I asFel. Indeed, but I shall-except you com sault a lady
-upon honour, the lady assaulted mand this door to be opened, and that way con me, sir, and would have seized this body-politic ceal me from his sight.
on the king's bigh-way–Let her come out, and [He struggles with her to come at the door. deny it, if she can. Pray, sir, command the Vio. Hear me, Felix-Though I were sure door to be opened; and let her prove me a liar, the refusing what you ask would separate us for if she knows how I have been drinking ever, by all that's powerful you shall not enter Claret, and Champaign, and Burgundy, and other here! Either you do love me, or you do not :
French wines, sir; but I love my own country, convince me by your obedience.
for all that. Fel. That's not the matter in debate-I will Ped. Ay, ay, who doubts it, sir? Open the know who is in this closet, let the consequence door, Violante, and let the lady come out. Come, be what it will. Nay, nay, you strive in vain : II warrant thee he shan't hurt her. will go
Fel. No, no; I won't hurt the dear creature. Vio. Thou shalt not go
-Now, which way will she come off? (Aside.
Vio. (Unlocks the door.] Come forth, madam; Enter Don PEDRO.
none shall dare to touch
veil -- I'll convey Ped. Hey-day! what's here to do? I will go you out with safety, or lose my life.--I hope in, and you shan't inand I will
[Aside. Why, who are you, sir?: Fel. 'Sdeath! what shall I
Enter Isabella, veiled, and crosses the stage. Ped. Don Felix, pray, what's your business in Isa. Excellent girl!
Erit. my house? ha, sir?
Fel. The devil a woman !—I'll see if she be Vio. Oh, sir, what miracle returned you home really so.
(Aside. so soon? some angel 'twas that brought my fa Vio. [To Felix.] Get clear of my father, and ther back to succour the distressed. -This ruf- follow me to the Terriero de Passa, where all fian, heI cannot call him gentleman-has com mistakes shall be rectified. mitted such an uncommon rudeness, as the most [Exit with Isabella. Don Felix offers to profligate wretch would be ashamed to own.
follow her. Fei. Ha! what the devil does she mean? Ped. [Drawing his sword.] Not a step, sir, till
[-Aside. the lady is past your recovery; I never suffer the Vio. As I was at my devotion in my closet, Ilaws ot' hospitality to be violated in my house, sir. heard a loud knocking at my door, mixed with a -I'll keep Don Felix here, till you see her woman's voice, which seemed to imply she was safe out, Violante. —Come, sir, you and I will in danger
take a pipe and a bottle together. Fel. I am confounded !
[ Aside. Fel. Damn your pipe, and damn your bottle! Vio. I flew to the door with the utmost speed, -I hate drinking and smoking; and how will where a lady, veiled, rushed in upon me; who, you help yourself, old whiskers ? falling on her knees, begged my protection from Ped. As to smoking or drinking, you have a gentleman, who, she said, pursued her. I took your liberty; but you shall stay, sir. compassion on her tears, and locked her into Fel. But I won't stay—for I don't like your this closet; but, in the surprise, having left open company; besides, I have the best reason in the the door, this very person whom you see with his world, for my not staying. sword drawn, ran in, protesting, if I did not give Ped. Ay, what's that? her up to his revenge, he'd force the door.
Fel. Why, I am going to be married; and so, Fel. What, in the name of goodness, does she good bye. mean to do? hang me?
Aside. Ped. To be married it can't be. Why, you Vio. I strove with bim, till I was out of breath; are drunk, Felix. and had you not come as you did, he must have Fel. Drunk ! ay, to be sure; you don't think entered But he's in drink, I suppose; or he I'd go to be married, if I were sober—but, could not have been guilty of such an indecorum. drunk or sober, I am going to be married, for all
[Leering at Felix. that --and if you won't believe me, to convince Ped. I'm amazed !
you, I'll show you the contract, old gentleman. Fel. The devil never failed a
Ped. Ay, do; come, let's see this contract, pinch :---what a tale has she formed in a minute! then.
-In drink, quotha ! a good hint: I'll lay hold Fel. Yes, yes; I'll shew you the contracton't to bring myself off.
(Aside. I'll shew you the contract Here, sir-here's Ped. Fy! Don Felix !-- ne - no sooner rid of one the contract.
[Draws a pistol. broil, than you are commencing another.-To Ped. (Starting.) Well, well, I'm convincedassault a lady with a naked sword, derogates go, go-pray go, and be married, sir.
woman at a
Fel. Yes, yes; I'll go I'll go and be married; have an hankering kindness after the slut-we but shan't we take a bottle, first?
must be reconciled. Ped. No, no-pray, dear sir, go, and be married.
Enter GIBBY. Fel. Very well, very well; (Going.) but I insist upon your taking one glass, though.
Gib. Aw my sal, sir, but Ise blithe to find ye Ped. No, not now—some other time-consider here now. the lady waits.
Lis. Ha, brother ! give me thy hand, boy. Fel. What a cross old fool! first he will, and Gib. No se fast, se ye me-Brether me ne brethen he won't; and then he will, and then he thers; I scorn a leer as muckle as a thiefe, se ye won't.
[Exit. now, and ye must gang intul this house with me,
and justifie to Donna Violante's face, that she Enter Servant.
was the lady that ganged in here this morn, se ve Ser. Here's Don Lopez de Pimentell to wait me, or the deel ha my saul, sir, but ye and I shall on you, senior.
be twa folks. Ped. What the devil does he want? he is not Lis. Justify it to Donna Violante's face, quogoing to be married, too! Bring him up; he's tha! For what? Sure you don't know what you in pursuit of his son, I suppose.
Gib. Troth de I, sir, as weel as ye dee; there Enter Don LOPEZ.
fore, come along, and make na mair words about Lop. I am glad to find you at home, Don Peit. dro-I was told that you was upon the road Lis. Why, what the devil do ye mean? Don't to Don Juan's chateau this afternoon.
you consider you are in Portugal? Is the fellow Ped. That might be, my lord; but I had the mad ? misfortune to break the wheel of my chariot, Gib. Fellow! Ise none of yer fellow, sir; and which obliged me to return. What is your gin the place were hell, I'd gar ye do me justice. pleasure with me, my lord ?
(LISSA RDO going.) Nay, the deel a fit ye gang. Lop. I am informed that my daughter is in
(Lays hold of him, and knocks.
Lis. Ha! Don Pedro himself: I wish I were Ped. That's more than I know, my lord; but fairly off.
[Aside. here was your son, just now, as drunk as an em
Enter Don PEDRO. peror,
Lop. My son drunk !-I never saw him in Ped. How now? What makes you knock so drink in my life.—Where is he, pray, sir? loud ? Ped. Gone to be married.
Gib. Gin this be Don Pedro's house, sir, I would Lop. Married !-to whom!- I don't know that speak with Donna Violante, his daughter. he courted any body.
Ped. Ha! what is it you want with my daughPed. Nay, I know nothing of that—but, I'm ter, pray? sure, he showed me the contract— Within, there! Gib. An she be your daughter, and lik your
honour, command her to come out, and answer Enter Servant.
for herself now, and either justify or disprove Bid my daughter come hither; she'll tell you an what this chield told me this morn. other story, my lord.
Lis. So, here will be a fine piece of work! Ser. She's gone out in a chair, sir.
[Aside. Ped. Out in a chair —what do you mean, sir? Ped. Why, what did he tell
ha ? Ser. As I say, sir—and Donna Isabella went Gib. By my saul, sir, Ise tell you aw the truth. in another just before her.
- My master got a pratty lady upon the how de Lop. Isabella!
callit-Passa-here at five this morn, and he Ser. And Don Felix followed in another—I gard me watch her heam--and, in troth, lodged overheard them all bid the chair go to the Ter- her here; and, meeting this ill-favoured thiete, riero de Passa.
se ye me, I speered wha she was—and he tald Ped. Ha! what business has my daughter me her name was Donna Violante, Don Pedro there? I am confounded, and know not what to de Mendosa's daughter. think-within there.
[Erit. Ped. Ha! my daughter with a man, abroad at Lop. My heart misgives me plaguily. -Call five in the morning! Death, hell, and furies! By me an alguazil—I'll pursue them straight. [Erit. St Anthony, I'm undone !
Gib. Wounds, sir! ye put yer saint intul bonSCENE III.-Changes to the street before Donny company. Pedro's house.
Ped. Who is your master, you dog you? Ads
heart, I shall be tricked of my daughter and moEnter LISSARDO.
ney, too, that's worst of all. Lis. I wish I could see Flora-methiuks I Gib. You dog you! 'Sblead, sir! dinna ca'
names—I wunna tell you who my master is, se ye, my thoughts were not over-strong for a nunnery, me now?
father. Ped. And who are you, rascal, that know my Lop. Your daughter has played you a slippery daughter so well? ha! [Holds up his cane. trick, too, signior. Lis
. What shall I say, to make him give this Ped. But your son shall never be the better Scotch dog a good beating? (Aside. I know for it, my lord; her twenty thousand pounds was your daughter, signior ! Not I; I never saw your left on certain conditions, and I'll not part with daughter in all my life.
a shilling Gib. [Knocks him down with his fist.] Deel ha Lop. But we have a certain thing, called law, my saul, sar, gin ye get no your carich for that shall make you do justice, sir.
Ped. Well, we'll try that-my lord, much good Ped. What, hoa! where are all my servants ? may it do you with your daughter-in-law. [E.rit.
Lop. I wish you much joy of your rib. (Exit. Enter Colonel, Felix, ISABELLA, and V10
Enter FREDERICK. Raise the house in pursuit of my daughter! Fel. Frederick, welcome !-I sent for thee to Ser. Here she comes, signior.
be partaker of my happiness; and pray give me Col. Hey-day! what's here to do?
leave to introduce you to the cause of it. Gib. This is the loon-like tike, an lik your ho Fred. Your messenger has told me all, and I nour, that sent me heam with a lee this morn. sincerely share in all your happiness.
Col. Come, come; 'tis all well, Gibby; let him Col. To the right about, Frederick; wish thy rise.
Ped. I am thunderstruck—and have no power Fred. I do, with all my soul-and, madam, I to speak one word.
congratulate your deliverance.—Your suspicions Fel. This is a day of jubilee, Lissardo; no are cleared now, I hope, Felix? quarrelling with him this day.
Fel. They are; and I heartily ask the colonel Lis. A pox take his fists !- Egad! these Bri- pardon, and wish him happy with my sister; for tons are but a word and a blow,
love has taught me to know, that every man's
happiness consists in choosing for himself. Enter Dox LOPEZ.
Lis. After that rule, I fix here. (To FLORA.
Flo. That's your mistake; I prefer my lady's Lop. So, have I found you, daughter? Then service, and turn you over to her that pleaded you have not hanged yourself yet, I see. right and title to you to-day. Col. But she is married, my lord.
Lis. Choose, proud fool! I sha'nt ask you Lop. Married! Zounits ! to whom?
twice. Col. Even to your humble servant, my lord. Gib. What say ye now, lass ?-will ye gee yer If you please to give us your blessing.' [Xneels
. hond to poor Gibby ?-What say you? will you Lop. Why, hark ye, mistress, are you really dance the reel of Bogie with me? married?
Inis. That I may not leave my lady, I take you Isa. Really so, my lord.
at your word; and, though our wooing has been Lop. And who are you, sir?
short, I'll, by her example, love you dearly. Col. An honest North Briton by birth, and a
[Music plays. colonel by commission, my lord.
Fel. Hark! I hear the music; somebody has Lop. An heretic! the devil!
done us the favour to call thein in. [Holding up his hands.
A country-dance. Ped. She has played yon a slippery trick, in Gib. Wounds, this is bonny music! How deed, my lord.-Well, my girl, thou hast been to caw ye that thing that ye pinch by the craig, and see thy friend married---next week thou shalt tickle the weamb, and make it cry grum, grum? have a better husband, my dear,
Fred. Oh! that's a guitar, Gibby.
[T! VIOLANTE. Fel. Now, my Violante, I shall proclaim thy Fel. Next week is a little too soon, sir ; I hope virtues to the world. to live longer than that.
Ped. What do you mean, sir? You have not Let us no more thy sex's conduct blame, made a rib of my daughter, too, have you? Since thou'rt a proof, to their eternal fame,
Vio. Indeed but he has, sir; I know not how, That man has 110 advantage, but the name. but he took me in an unguarded minute--when
SCENE I.-A great hall.
in the cellar last night, that I'm afraid he'll sour
all the beer in my barrels. Enter the BUTLER, Coachman, and GARDENER.
Coach. Why, then, John, we ought to take it off But. There came another coach to town last as fast as we can.- Here's to you. He rattled so night, that brought a gentleman to inquire about loud under the tiles last night, that I verily this strange noise we hear in the house. This thought the house would have fallen over our spirit will bring a power of custom to the George. heads. I durst not go up into the cock-loft this
- If so be he continues his pranks, I design to morning, if I had not got one of the maids to go sell a pot of ale, and set up the sign of the drum. along with me.
Coach. I'll give marlam warning, that's flat Gard. I thought I heard him in one of my I've always lived in sober families-- I'll not dis- bed-posts. I marvel, John, how he gets into the parage myself to be a servant in a house that is house, when all the gates are shut ! haunted.
But. Why, look ye, Peter, your spirit will Gard. I'll e'en marry Nell, and rent a bit of creep you into an augre-hole- he'll whisk ground of my own, if both of you leave madam; ye through a key-hole, without so much as just nut but that madam is a very good woman, if ling against one of the wards. Mrs Abigail did not spoil her. Come, here's Coach. Poor madam is mainly frighted, that's her health.
certain; and verily believes it is my master, that But. 'Tis a very hard thing to be a butler in a was killed in the last campaign. house that is disturbed. He made such a racket | But. Out of all manner of question, Robin
'tis sir George. Mrs Abigail is of opinion, it ghost, I'd tell him his own. But, alack ! what can be none but his honour. He always liked can one of us poor men do with a spirit, that can the wars; and, you know, was mightly pleased, neither write nor read? from a child, with the music of a druin.
But. Thou art always cracking and boastGard. I wonder his body was never found ing, Peter; thou dost not know what mischief after the battle.
it might do thee, if such a silly dog as thee But. Found! Why, ye fool, is not his body should offer to speak to it. For aught I know, here about the house? Dost thou think he can he might flea thee alive, and make parchment of beat his drum without hands and arms?
thy skin, to cover his druin with. Coach. 'Tis master, as sure as I stand here Gard. A fiddlestick! tell not me I fear noalive; and I verily believe I saw him last night thing, not I. I never did harın in my life; I in the town-close.
never committed murder. Gard. Ay! How did he appear?
But. I verily believe thee. Keep thy temCoach. Like a white horse.
per, Peter; after supper we'll drink each of us But. Phoo, Robin! I tell ye he has never ap- a double mug, and then let come what will. peared yet, but in the shape of the sound of a Gard. Why, that's well said, John-An honest drum.
man, that is not quite sober, has nothing to fearCoach. This makes one almost afraid of one's Here's to ye -Why, now, if he should come own shadow. As I was walking from the stable this minute, here would I stand-Ha! what t'other night, without my lanthorn, I fell across a noise is that? beam that lay in my way; and faith my heart But. Coach. Ha! where? was in my mouth, I thought I had stumbled Gard. The devil! the devil! Oh, no, 'tis Mrs over a spirit!
Abigail. But. Thou might'st as well have stumbled over But. Ay, faith ! 'tis she; 'tis Mrs Abigail ! A a straw. Why, a spirit is such a little thing, good mistake; 'tis Mrs Abigail. that I have heard a man, who was a great scho
Enter ABIGAIL. lar, say, that he'll dance you a Lancashire hornpipe upon the point of a needle. As I sat in the Abi. Here are your drunken sots for you! Is pantry last night, counting my spoons, the candle, this a time to be guzzling, when gentry are come methought, burnt blue, and the spayed bitch to the house! Why don't you lay your cloth? looked as if she saw something.
How come you out of the stables ? Why are you Coach. Ay, poor cur, she is almost frightened not at work in your garden? out of her wits!
Gard. Why, yonder's the fine Londoner and maGard. Ay, I warrant ye, she hears him, many dam fetching a walk together; and, methought, a time and often, when we don't.
they looked as if they should say, they had rather But. My lady must have him laid, that's cer bave my room than my company, tain, whatever it cost her.
But. And so, forsooth, being all three met tnGard. I fancy, when one goes to market, one gether, we are doing our endeavours to drink might hear of somebody that can make a spell
. this same drummer out of our heads. Coach. Why, may not the parson of our parish Gard. For you must know, Mrs Abigail, we lay him?
are all of opinion, that one cannot be a match But. No, no, no; our parson cannot lay him. for him, unless one be as drunk as a drum. Coach. Why not he, as well as another man? Coach. I am resolved to give madam warning
But. Why, ye fool, he is not qualified. He to hire herself another coachinan; for I came to has not taken the oaths.
serve my master, d'ye see, while he was alive; Gard. Why, d’ye think, John, that the spirit but do suppose that he has no further occasion would take the law of him? Faith, I could tell for a coach, now he walks. you one way to drive him off.
But. Truly, Mrs Abigail, I must needs say, Coach. How's that?
that this spirit is a very odd sort of a body, after Gurd. I'll tell you immediately:-(Drinks.— all, to fright madam, and his old servants, at I fancy Mrs Abigail might scold him out of the this rate. house,
Gard. And truly, Mrs Abigail, I must needs Coach. Ay, she has a tongue that would drown say, I served my master contentedly, while he his drum, if any thing could.
was living ; but I will serve no inan living (that But. Pugh, this is all froth; you understand is, no man that is not living) without double nothing of the matter. The next time it makes wages. a noise, I tell you what ought to be done.I Abi. Ay, 'tis such cowards as you that go would have the steward speak Latin to it. about with idle stories, to disgrace the house, and
Coach. Ay, that would do, if the steward had bring so many strangers about it: you first frighten but courage.
yourselves, and then your neighbours. Gard. There you have it. He's a fearful man. Gard. Frightened! I scorn your words: frightIf I had as much learning as he, and I met the ened, quotha ?