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of this lady's guardians, she might be sure never to do so, he left her Freeman ?
in the care of four men, as opposite to each Free. Yes, I know two of them very well. other as the four elements; each has his quarter
ly rule, and three months in a year she is obliged
to be subject to each of their humours, and they Enter SACKBUT.
are pretty different, I assure you. She is just Here comes one will give you an account of come from Bath. them all. Mr Sackbut, we sent for you to take Col. 'Twas there I saw her. a glass with us. 'Tis a maxim among the friends Sack. Aye, sir; the last quarter was her beau of the bottle, that as long as the master is in guardian's. She appears in all public places du-. company, one may be sure of good wine. ring his reign.
Sack. Sir, you shall be sure to have as good Col. She visited a lady who hoarded in the wine as you send in. Colonel, your most hum- same house with me: I liked her person, and ble servant; you are welcome to town.
found an opportunity to tell her so. She repliCol. I thank you, Mr Sackbut.
ed, she had no objection to mine; but if I could Suck. I am as glad to see you as I should a not reconcile contradictions, I must not think of hundred tun of French claret, custom free. My her; for that she was condemned to the caprice service to you, sir. (Drinks.) You don't look of four persons, who never yet agreed in any one so merry as you used to do; arn't you well, co- thing, and she was obliged to please them all. lonel?
Sack. 'Tis most true, sir; I'll give you a short Free. He has got a woman in his head, land- description of the men, and leave you to judge lord; can you help him?
of the poor lady's condition. One is a kind of Sack. If 'tis in my power, I shan't scruple to virtuoso; a silly, half-witted fellow, but positive serve my friend.
and surly, fond of every thing antique and toCol. 'Tis one perquisite of your calling. reign, and wears his clothes of the fashion of the
Sack. Aye, at t'other end of the town, where last century; doats upon travellers, and believes you officers use, women are good forcers of more of sir John Mandeville than he does of the trade; a well-customed house, a handsome bar- | Bible. keeper, with clean, obliging drawers, soon get the Col. That must be a rare odd fellow ! master an estate; but our citizens seldom do Sack. Another is a 'Change-broker; a fellow any thing but cheat within the walls. But as that will out-lye the devil for the advantage of to the lady, colonel; point you at particulars? or stock, and cheat his father that got him, in a have you a good Champagne stomach ? Are you bargain : he is a great stickler for trade, and in full pay, or reduced, colonel ?
hates every man that wears a sword. Col. Reduced, reduced, landlord.
Free. He is a great admirer of the Dutch maFree. To the miserable condition of a lover! nagement, and swears they understand trade
Sack. Pish! that's preferable to half-pay; a better than any nation under the sun. woman's resolution may break before the peace : Sack. The third is an old beau, that has May push her home, colonel ; there's no parlying with in his fancy and dress, but December in his face the fair sex.
and his heels: he admires all the new fashions, Col. Were the lady her own mistress, I have and those must be French; loves operas, balls, some reasons to believe I should soon command masquerades, and is always the most tawdry of in chief.
the whole company on a birth-day. You know Mrs Lovely, Mr Sackbut? Col. These are pretty opposite to one another, Sack. Know her! Aye, poor Nancy: I have truly; and the fourth, what is he, landlord? carried her to school many a frosty morning.- Sack. A very rigid quaker, whose quarter beAlas! if she's the woman, I pity yon, colonel : gan this day. I saw Mrs Lovely go in, not aher father, my old master, was the most whimsi- bove two hours ago—sir Philip set her down.cal, out-of-the-way tempered man I ever heard What think you now, colonel; is not the poor of, as you will guess by his last will and testa- lady to be pitied? ment. This was his only child: and I have Col. Aye, and rescued too, landlord. heard him wish her dead a thousand times. Free. In my opinion, that's impossible. Col. Why so?
Col. There is nothing impossible to a lover. Sack. He hated posterity, you must know, and What would not a man attempt for a fine woman wished the world were to expire with bimself.- and thirty thousand pounds? Besides, my honour He used to swear, if she had been a boy, he is at stake; I promised to deliver her, and she would have qualitied him for the opera.
bid me win her and wear her. Free. 'Twas a very unnatural resolution in a Sack. That's fair, faith. father.
Free. If it depended upon knight-errantry, I Sack. He died worth thirty thousand pounds, should not doubt your setting free the damsel; which he left to his daughter, provided she mar- but to have avarice, impertinence, hypocrisy, ried with the consent of her guardians; but that and pride, at once to deal with, requires morc
cunning than generally attends a man of honour. mind : but here's to your success, colonel. Col. My fancy tells me I shall come off with
Drinks. glory. I am resolved to try, however. Do you Col. 'Tis something out of the way, I confess; know all the guardians, Mr Sackbut?
but fortune inay chance to smile, and I succeed. Suck. Very well, sir; they all use my house. Come, landlord, let me see those clothes. Free
Col. And will you assist me, it' occasion re- man, I shall expect you'll leave word with Vr quires?
Sackbut where one may find you upon occasion; Sack. In every thing I can, colonel.
and send my Indian equipage immediately; d'ye Free. I'll answer for him; and whatever I can hear? serve you in, you may depend on. I know Mr Free. Immediately.
[Erit. Periwinkle and Mr Tradelove; the latter has a Col. Bold was the man who ventured first to very great opinion of my interest abroad. I
sefly happened to have a letter from a correspondent | But the first venturing lovers bolder were. *two hours before the news arrived of the French The path of love's a dark and dangerous way,
king's death : I communicated it to him: upon Without a landmark, or one friendly star; - which he bought all the stock he could, and what And he that runs the risque deserves the fair. with that, and some wagers he laid, he told me
[Erit. he had got to the tune of tive hundred pounds; so that I am much in his good graces. Col. I don't know but you inay be of service
SCENE II.—Prim's house. to me, Freeman.
Enter Mrs LOVELY, and her maid BETTY. Free. If I can, command me, colonel.
Col. Isn't it possible to find a suit of clothes Bet. Bless me, madam! Why do you fret and ready made at some of these sale-shops fit to rig tease yourself so ? This is giving them the advanout a beau, think you, Mr Sackbut?
tage, with a witness. Suck. O, bang them-No, colonel; they keep Mrs Love. Must I be condemned all my life nothing ready made that a gentleman would be to the preposterous humours of other people, and seen in: but I can fit you with a suit of clothes, pointed at by every boy in town! Oh! I could it you'd make a figure=Velvet and gold brocade tear my flesh, and curse the hour I was born
- They were pawned to me by a French count, Isn't it monstrously ridiculous, that they should who had been stript at play, and wanted money desire to impose their quaking dress upon me at to carry him home; he promised to send for them, these years ? When I was a child, no matter but I have not heard any thing of him.
what they made me wear; but now Free. He has not fed upon frogs long enough
Bet. I would resolve against it, madam; I'd yet to recover his loss; ha, ha!
see them hanged before I'd put on the pinched Col. Ha, ha! Well, tire clothes will do, Mr cap again. Sackbut; though we must have three or four fel- Mrs Love. Then I must never expect one mon lows in tawdry liveries: they can be procured, I ment's ease : she has rung such a peal in my ears hope?
already, that I shan't have the right use of them Free. Egad! I have a brother come from the this month. What can I do? West Indies that can match you; and, for expe- Bet. What can you not do, if you will but dition-sake, you shail have his servants: there's a give your mind to it? Marry, madam. black, a tawney-moor, and a Frenchman; they
Mrs Love. What! and have my fortune go to don't speak one word of English, so can make no build churches and hospitals ? inistake.
Bet. Why, let it go. If the colonel loves you, Col. Excellent! Egad! I shall look like an as he pretends, he'll marry you without a fortune, Indian prince. First, I'll attack my beau guar- madam; and, I assure you, a colonel's lady is no dian; where lives he?
despicable thing; a colonel's post will maintain Sack. Faith, soinewhere abont St James; you like a gentlewoman, madam. though, to say in what street, I cannot; but any Mrs Love. So, you would advise me to give chairman will tell you where sir Philip Mode- up my own fortune, and throw myself upon the love lives.
colonel's ? • Free. Oh! you'll find him in the Park at ele- Bet. I would advise you to make yourself ren every day; at least, I never pass throngh at easy, madam. that hour without seeing him there. But what Mrs Love. That's not the way, l'ın sure. No, do you intend?
no, girl; there are certain ingredients to be minCol. To address him in his own way, and find gled with matrimony, without which I may as what he designs to do with the lady.
well change for the worse as the better. When Free. And what then?
the woman has fortune enough to make the man Col. Nay, that I cannot tell; but I shall take bappy, if he has either honour or good manners, 'my measures accordingly.
he'll make her easy. Love makes but a slovenly Suck. Well, 'tis a inad undertaking, in my figure in a house, where poverty keeps the door. Vol. II.
Bet. And so you resolve to die a maid, do you, ten times as much-For I'll ingenuously confess madam?
to thee, that I do like the colonel above all the Mrs Love. Or have it in my power to make men I ever saw : there's something so jantée in a the man I love master of my fortune.
soldier, a kind of je ne sçai quoi air, that makes Bet. Then you don't like the colonel so well them more agreeable than the rest of mankind. as I thought you did, madam, or you would not They comınand regard, as who shall say, We are take such a resolution.
your defenders. We preserve your beauties Mrs Love. It is because I do like him, Betty, from the insults of rude and unpolished foes, that I do take such a resolution.
and ought to be preferred before those lazy, inBet. Why, do you expect, madam, the colonel dolent inortals, who, by dropping into their fa can work miracles? Is it possible for bim to mar- thers' estates, set up their coaches, and think to ry you with the consent of all your guardians ? rattle themselves into our affections.
Mrs Love. Or he must not marry me at all : Bet. Nay, madam, I confess that the army has and so I told him; and he did not seem dis- engrossed all the prettiest fellows-a laced coat pleased with the news. He promised to set me and a feather have irresistible charms. free; and I, on that condition, promised to make Mrs Love. But the colonel has all the beau him master of that freedom.
ties of the mind, as well as the body. O all ye Bet. Well! I have read of enchanted castles, powers that favour happy lovers, grant that he ladies delivered from the chains of magic, giants may be mine! Thou god of love, if thou best killed, and monsters overcome; so that I shall aught but name, assist my Fainwell! be the less surprised if the colonel should conjure you out of the power of your four guardi
Point all thy darts to aid his just design, ans; if he does, I am sure he deserves
And make his plots as prevalent as thine. for
[Ereunt. Mfrs Love. And shall have it, girl, if it were
SCENE I.-The Park.
can deny any thing to so fine a gentleman, madam.
[Takes out his watch. Enter COLONEL, finely drest, three Footmen af- Wom. I never mind the outside of a man, ter him.
Col. And I'm afraid thou art no judge of the Col. So, now if I can but meet this beau ! inside. Egad! Methinks, I cut a smart figure, and have Sir Phi. I am positively of your mind, sir; for as much of the tawdry air as any Italian count creatures of her function seldom penetrate beor French marquis of them all. Sure, I shall yond the pocket. know this knight again-Ah! Yonder he sits, Wom. Creatures of your composition, have, inmaking love to a mask, i'faith! I'll walk up the deed, generally more in their pockets, than in Mall, and come down by him.
[Aside. [Exit Colonel. Sir Phi. Pray, what says your watch? mine is down.
[Pulling out his watch. Scene draws, and discovers Sir Philip upon a
Col. I want thirty-six minutes of twelve, sir. bench, with a woman masked.
[Puts up his watch, and takes out his snuffSir Phi. Well, but, my dear, are you really
bor. constant to your keeper ?
Sir Phi. May I presume, Wl'om. Yes, really, sir. Hey-day! Who comes Col. Sir, you honour me. yonder? He cuts a mighty figure.
[Presenting the bar Sir Phi. Ha! A stranger, by his equipage Sir Phi. He speaks good English-though he keeping so close at his heels. He has the ap- must be a foreigner.-[Aside.]- This snuff is ex pearance of a man of quality. Positively French, tremely good and the box prodigious fine; the by his dancing air!
work is French, I presuire, sir? Wom. He crosses, as if he meant to sit down Col. I bought it in Paris, sir-I do think the here.
workmanship pretty neat. Sir Phi. He has a mind to make love to thee, Sir Phi. Neat! 'tis exquisitely fine, sir. Pray, ebild.
sir, if I may take the liberty of inquiring-What Enter Colonel, and seats himself upon the finest gentleman in the universe ? France, I pre
country is so happy to claim the birth of the bench by Sir PHILIP.
sume? W’om. It will be to no purpose, if he does. Col. Then
don't think me an Englishmani Sir Phi. Are you resolved to be cruel, then? Sir Phi. No, upon my soul, don't I. Col. You must be very cruel indeed, if you Col. I'm sorry for't.
Sir Phi. Impossible, you should wish to be an Col. The ladies, and the laws. Englishman! Pardon me, sir, this island could Sir Phi. The laws, indeed, do claim a prenot produce a person of such alertness.
ference of other nations---but, by my soul, there Col. As this mirror shews you, sir.
are fine women every where.---I must own I have (Puts up a pocket glass to Sir Philip's fuce. felt their power in all countries.
Wom. Coxcombs! I'm sick to hear them Col. There are some finished beauties, I conpraise one another. One seldom gets any thing fess, in France, Italy, Germany, nay, even in by such animals; not even a dinner, unless one Holland, mais elles sont bien rare : but les belles can dine upon soup and celery.
Angloises! Oh, sir Philip, where find we such Sir Phi.' 0 Gad, sir? Will
us, ma- women ! such symmetry of shape ! such eledam? Ha, ha, ha!
[Erit Woman. gance of dress ! such regularity of features ! Col. She fears 'twill be only losing time to stay such sweetness of temper! such commanding here, ha, ha, ha! I know not how to distinguish eyes! and such bewitching smiles! you, sir ; but your mien and address speak you Sir Phi. Ah! parbleu vous etes attrapé. right honourable.
Col. Non, je vous assure, Chevalier.--But I Sir Phi. Thus, great souls judge of others by declare there is no amusement so agreeable to themselves—I am only adorned with knighthood, my goût as the conversation of a fine wothat's all, I assure you, sir; my name is sir Philip man. I could never be prevailed upon to Modelove.
enter into what the vulgar call the pleasure of Col. Of French extraction?
the bottle. Sir Phi. My father was French.
Sir Phi. My own taste, positivement.—A ball, Col. One may plainly perceive it—There is a or a masquerade, is certainly preferable to all certain gaiety peculiar to my nation (for I will the productions of the vineyard. own myself a Frenchman) which distinguishes us Col. Infinitely! I hope the people of quality every where--A person of your figure would be in England will support that branch of pleasure a vast addition to a coronet.
which was imported with the peace, and since Sir Phi. I must own I had the offer of a naturalized by the ingenious Mr. Heidegger. barony about five years ago; but I abhorred Sir Phi. The ladies assure me it will become the fatigue which must have attended it. I part of the constitution—upon which I subscribcould never yet bring myself to join with either ed a hundred guineas--It will be of great serparty.
vice to the public, at least to the coinpany of Col. You are perfectly in the right, Sir Philip surgeons; and the city in general. --a fine person should not embark himself in the Col. Ha, ha! it may help to enpoble the blood slovenly concern of politics : dress and pleasure of the city. Are you married, sir Philip? are objects proper for the soul of a fine gentle- Sir Phi. No; nor do I believe I ever shall
enter into that honourable state : I have an abe Sir Phi. And love--
solute tendre for the whole sex. Col. Oh! that's included under the article of Col. That's more than they have for you, I pleasure.
Aside. Sir Phi. Parbleu il est un homme d'esprit! I Sir Phi. And I have the honour to be very must embrace you---[Rise and embrace.] --Your well with the ladies, I can assure you, sir; and I sentiments are so agreeable to mine, that we won't affront a million of fine women to make appear to have but one soul, for our ideas and one happy. conceptions are the same.
Col. Nay, marriage is reducing a man's taste Col. I should be sorry for that. (Aside.]---You to a kind of half pleasure: but then it carries do me too much honour, sir Philip.
the blessings of peace along with it; one goes Șir Phi. Your vivacity and jantee mien assu- to sleep without fear, and wakes without pain. red me, at first sight, there was nothing of this Sir Phi. There's something of that in't ; a foggy island in your composition. May I crave wite is a very good dish for an English stomach, your name, sir?
--but gross feeding for nicer palates, ha, ha, ha! Col. My name is La Fainwell, sir, at your ser- Col. I find I was very much mistaken-I imvice.
agined you had been married to that young lady, Sir Phi. The La Fainwells are French, I whom I saw in the chariot with you this mornknow; though the name is become very numer-ing in Grace-church-Street. ous in Great-Britain of late years—I was sure Sir Phi. Who, Nancy Lovely? I am a piece you was French the moment I laid my eyes upon of a guardian to that lady: you must know, her you; I could not come into the supposition of father, I thank him, joined me with three of the your being an Englishman : this island produces most preposterous old fellows---that, upon my few such ornaments.
soul, I am in pain for the poor girl : ---she Col. Pardon me, sir Philip; this island has two must certainly lead apes, as the saying is; ha, things superior to all nations under the sun. ha! Sir Phi. Ah! what are they?
Col. That's pity, sir Philip. If the lady would
give me leave, I would endeavour to avert that people, if I don't look more like a modest woman
than thou dost, Anne. Sir Phi. As to the lady, she'd gladly be rid Mrs Love. More like a hypocrite you mean, of us at any rate, I believe; but here's the mis- Mrs Prim. chief! he who marries Miss Lovely, must have Mrs Prim. Ah! Anne, Anne, that wicked Phithe consent of us all four--or not a penny of lip Modelove will undo thee--Salan so fills thy her portion.---For my part, I shall never approve heart with pride, during the three months of his of any but a man of figure,--and the rest are guardianship, that thou becomest a stumbling not only arerse to cleanliness, but have each a block to the upright. peculiar taste to gratity.---For my part, I declare Mirs Love. Pray, who are they? Are the pinchI would prefer you to all the men I ever saw. ed cap and formal hood the emblems of sanctiCol. And I her to all women
ty? Does your virtue consist in your dress, Mrs Sir Phi. I assure you, Mr Fainwell, I am for Prim? marrying her; for I hate the trouble of a guardi- Mrs Prim. It doth not consist in cut hair, an, especially among such wretches; but resolve spotted face, and a bare neck. Oh the wickednever to agree to the choice of any one of them, ness of the generation! The primitive women ---and I fancy they'll be even with me, for they knew not the abomination of hooped petticoats. never came into any proposal of mine yet. Mrs Love. No; por the abomination of cant
Col. I wish I had your leave to try them, sir neither. Don't tell me, Mrs Prim, don't. I know Philip
you have as much pride, vanity, self-conceit, and Sir Phi. With all my soul, sir; I can refuse a ambition among you, couched under that formal person of your appearance nothing.
habit, and sanctitied countenance, as the proudest Col. Sir, I am intinitely obliged to you. of us all; but the world begins to see your pruSir Phi. But do you really like matrimony? dery. Col. I believe I could with that lady.
Mrs Prim. Prudery! What! do they invent Sir Phi. The only point in which we differ--- new words as well as new fashions? Ah! poor But you are master of so many qualifications, fantastic age, I pity theem Poor deluded Anne, that I can excuse one fault; for I must think it which dost thou think most resembles the saint, a fault in a fine gentleman; and that you are and which the sinner, thy dress or mine? Thy such, I'll give it under my hand.
naked bosom allureth the eye of the by-stander, Col. I wish you'd give me your consent to mar- -encourageth the frailty of human-nature-and ry Mrs Lovely under your hand, sir Philip. corrupteth the soul with evil longings.
Sir Phi. I'll do't, if you'll step into St James's Mrs Love. And, pray, who corrupted your son Coffec-house, where we may have pen and inkTobias with evil longings. Your maid Tabitha though I can't foresce what advantage my con- wore a handkerchiet, and yet he made the saint sent will be to you, without you could find a way a sinner. to get the rest of the guardians. But I'll intro- Mrs Prim. Well, well, spit thy malice. I conduce you, however: she is now at a Quaker's, fess Satan did buffet my son Tobias, and my serwhere I carried her this morning, when you saw vant Tabitha : the evil spirit was at that time to us in Gracechurch-Street.-I assure you slic has strong, and they both became subject to its workan odd ragout of guardians, as you will find when ings, not from any outward provocation, but from you hear the characters, which I'll endeavour to an inward call; he was not tainted with the rotgive you as we go along.--Mey! Pierre, Jaque, temess of the fashions, nor did his eyes take in Renno-where are you all, scoundrels?
-Or- the drunkenness of beautv. der the chariots to St James's Cotlee-house.
Mrs Lore. No! that's plainly to be seen. Col. Le Noir, la Brun, la Blanc.-Morbleu, Mrs Prim. Tabitha is one of the faithful; he ou sont ces coquins la ? Allons, Monsieur le Che- fell not with a stranger. valier.
Mrs Love. So ! Then you hold wenching po Sir Phi. Ah! Pardonnez moi, monsicur. crime, provided it be within the pale of your own Col. Not one step, upon my soul, sir Philip. tribe.- -You are an excellent casuist, truly!
Sir Phi. The best bred man in Europe, positively!
Enter OBADIAN Prim.
Oba. Prim. Not stripped of thy vanity yet, SCENE II.-- Changes 10 OBADIAN Pria's
Anne !--Why dost thou not make her put it ott, house.
Mrs Prim. She will not do it.
Oba. Prim. Verily, thy paked breast troubleth Enter Mrs Lovely, followed by Dirs Prim.
my outward man; I pray thee bide them, Apue: Mrs Prim. Then, thou wilt not obey mc? and put on an bandkerchief, Anne Lovely. thou dost really think those fallals become thee? Mrs Love. I hate handkerchiets when 'tis not Nirs Love. I do, indeed.
cold weather, Mr Prim. Mrs Prim. Now will I be judged by all sober Mrs Prim. I have seen thee wear a handker: