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A little indulgent to that servant's wit,
Got off from Subtle, Surly, Mammon, Dol, And help his fortune, though with some small Hot Ananias, Dapper, Drugger, all strain
With whom I traded; yet I put myself
are my country; and this pelf, Speak for thyself, knave.
Which I have got, if you do quit me, rests Face. So I will , sir. Gentlemen,
To feast you often, and invite new guests. Though I am clean
A NEW WAY TO PAY OLD DEBTS.
WELLDO, a parson.
TAPWELL, an ale-house-keeper.
LADY ALLWORTH, a rich widow.
MARGARET, Overreach's daughter.
Scene.--A county in England,
SCENE I.—The outside of a village ale-house. A potent monarch called the constable,
That does command a citadel, called the stocks ; WELLBORN, TAPWELL, FROTH.
Such as, with great dexterity, will hale Well. No liquor! nor no credit?
Your poor tattered Tap. None, sir;
Well. Rascal ! slave! Not the remainder of a single can,
Froth. No rage, sir. Left by a drunken porter; all night palled, too. Tap. At his own peril! Do not put yourself Froth. Not the dropping of the tap for your In too much heat, there being no water near morning's draught, sir :
To quench your thirst; and sure, for other liquor, 'Tis verity, I assure you.
As mighty ale, or beer, they are things, I take il, Well. Verity, you brach!
You must no more remember; not in a dream, The devil turned precisian? Rogue, what am I?
sir. Tap. Troth! durst I trust you with a looking Well. Why, thou unthankful villain, dar’st thou glass,
talk thus? To let you see your trim shape, you would quit Is not thy house, and all thou hast, my gift? me,
Tap. I find it not in chalk; and Timothy TapAnd take the name yourself.
well Well. How! dog!
Does keep no other register. Tap. Even so, sir.
Well. Am I not he And I must tell you, if you but advance your Whose riots fed and cloathed thee? Wert thou
voice, There dwells, and within call, if it please your Born on my father's land, and proud to be worship,
A drudge in his house?
Tap. What I was, sir, it skills not;
'Twas I, that when I heard thee swear, if ever What you are, is apparent. Now for a farewell: Thou could'st arrive at forty pounds, thou Since you talk of father, in my hope it will tor would'st ment you,
Live like an emperor : 'twas I that gave it, I'll briefly tell your story. Your dead father, In ready gold. Deny this, wretch! My quondam master, was a man of worship; Tap. I must, sir. Old sir John Wellborn, justice of peace and quo For, from the tavern to the tap-house, all, тит ;
On forfeiture of their licence, stand bound And stood fair to be custos rotulorum ;
Never to remember who the best guests were, Bare the whole sway of the shire; kept a good if they grow poor like you. house;
Well. They are well rewarded Relieved the poor, and so forth; but he dying, That beggar themselves to make such rascals rich. And the twelve hundred a-year coming to you, Thou viper, thankless viper ! Late Mr Francis, but now forlorn Wellborn But since you are grown forgetful, I will help
Well. Slave, stop! or I shall lose myself. Your memory, and kick thee into remembrance; Froth. Very hardly,
Not leave one bone unbroken.
anger. And other such extravagancies;
Well. For once thou hast redeemed them from Which your uncle, sir Giles Overreach, observing, this
sceptre : [Shaking his cudgel. Resolving not to lose so fair an opportunity, But let them vanish, On foolish mortgages, statutes, and bonds, For if they grumble, I revoke my pardon. For awhile supplied your lavishness, and then left Froth. This comes of your prating, husband; you.
you presumed Well. Some curate has penned this invective, On your ambling wit, and must use your glib mongrel,
tongue, And you have studied it.
Though you are beaten lame for it. Tap. I have not done yet.
Tap. Patience, Froth; Your lands gone, and your credit not worth a There is no law to cure our bruises. token,
[They go off into the house. You grew the common borrower; no man'scaped Well. Sent for to your mother? Your paper pellets, from the gentleman to the Allw. My lady, Frank, my patroness ! my all ! groom;
She's such a mourner for my father's death,
Well. Tis a noble widow,
Tap. True, but they brought in profit; From the least taint of infamy; her life,
To envy or detraction. Pr’ythee, tell me;
My lord excepted : such as sue, and send,
sence; Well . Thus, you dog-bolt
Yet she's so far from sullenness and pride, And thus
[Beats him. That I dare undertake you shall meet from her Tap. Cry out for help!
A liberal entertainment. I can give you Well. Stir, and thou diest :
A catalogue of her suitors' names. Your potent prince, the constable, shall not save Well. Forbear it, you.
While I give you good counsel. I am bound Ileat me, ungrateful hell-bound ! did not I
to it; Make purses for you ? then you licked my boots, Thy father was my friend; and that affection And thought your holiday cloak too coarse tó I bore to liin, in right descends to thee : clean theni.
Thou art a handsome and a bopetul youth,
Nor will I have the least affront stick on thee, I can spare from myself, to help your wants.
Well. How's this?
To put you in better fashion. Do I run the hazard ?
Well. Money from thee? Well. Art thou not in love?
From a boy, a stipendary? one that lives Put it not off with wonder.
At the devotion of a step-mother, Allw. In love, at my years?
And the uncertain favour of a lord ? Well. You think you walk in clouds, but are I'll eat my arms first. Howsoe'er blind fortune transparent.
Hath spent the utmost of her malice on me; I have heard all, and the choice that you have Though I am vomited out of an alehouse, made;
And thus accoutred; know not where to eat, And, with my finger can point out the north Or drink, or sleep, but underneath this canopy; star,
Although I thank thee, I despise thy offer. By which the load-stone of your folly's guided. And as I, in my madness, broke my state And, to confirm this true, what think
of Without the assistance of another's brain, Fair Margaret, the only child and heir
In my right wits I'll piece it; at the worst,
SCENE II.-A Chamber in Lady ALLWORTH'S
House. cured With balms, but corrosives. I must be plain :
Enter ORDER, AMBLE, FURNACE. Art thou scarce manumized from the porter's lodge,
Order. Set all things right, or, as my name is And yet sworn servant to the pantoffle,
Order, And darest thou dream of marriage ?
Whoever misses in his function, Allw. Howe'er you have discovered my in- For one whole week makes forfeiture of his tents,
breakfast, You know my aims are lawful; and if ever And privilege in the wine cellar. The queen of flowers, the glory of the spring,
Amble. You are merry. The sweetest comfort to our smell, the rose, Good master steward. Sprang from an envious briar, I may infer,
Furn. Let him; I'll be
angry. There's such disparity in their conditions
Amble. Why, fellow Furnace, 'tis not twelve
Nor dinner taking up; then 'tis allowed
Cooks, by their places, may be choleric. As I believe it; canst thou ever hope
Furn. You think you have spoke wisely, good To enjoy a quiet bed with her, whose father
man Amble, Ruined thy state?
My lady's go-before. Allw. And yours too,
Order. Nay, nay, no wrangling, Well. I confess it, Allworth.
Furn. Twit me with the authority of the I must tell you as a friend, and freely,
And, thus provoked, when I am at my prayers
Order. With whom?
with lady. And prosper in it.
Amble. Heaven forbid, man! Allw. You have well advised me;
Order. What cause has she given thee? But, in the mean time, you, that are so studious Furn. Cause enough, master steward : Ot my affairs, wholly neglect your own.
I was entertained by her to please her palate, Remember yourself, and in what plight you are. And, till she forswore eating, I performed it. Well. No matter, no matter.
Now, since our master, noble Allworth, died, Allw. Yes, 'tis much material :
Though I crack my brains to find out tempting You know my fortune, and my means; yet some sauces, thing
When I am three parts roasted,
I am angry
And the fourth part par-boiled, to prepare her Like virgin parchment, capable of any viands,
Inscription, vicious or honourable.
Order. But your art is seen in the dining room. Ållw. Any form you please
I will put on: but, might I make my choice,
Lady. 'Tis well answered, With none so much, as the thin-gutted squire, And I commend your spirit: you had a father, That's stolen into commission,
(Blessed be his inemory) that some few hours Order. Justice Greedy?
Before the will of Heaven took him from me, Furn. The same, the same. Meat is cast away Did commend you, by the dearest ties upon him :
Of perfect love between us, to my charge : It never thrives. He holds his paradox, And, therefore, what I speak, you are bound to Who eats not well, can ne'er do justice well.
hear His stomach's as insatiate as the grave.
With such respect, as if he lived in me. Amble. One knocks.
Allw. I have found you, (ALLWORTH knocks, and enters. Most honoured madam, the best mother tome; Order. Our late young master.
And with my utmost strength of care and service, Amble. Welcome, sir.
Will labour that you never may repent
Your bounties showered upon me.
These were your father's words : If e'er my son Furn. We are all your servants.
Follow the war, tell him it is a school Alla. At once, my thanks to all;
Where all the principles, tending to honour, This is yet some comfort. Is my lady stirring? Are taught, if truly followed: But for such
As repair thither, as a place in which
They do presume they may, with license, pracOrder. Her presence answers for us.
tise Lady. Sort those silks well.
Their lusts and riots, they shall never merit I'll take the air alone.
The noble name of soldiers. To dare boldly And, as I gave directions, if this morning In a fair cause, and, for the country's safety, I am visited by any, entertain them
To run upon the cannon's mouth undaunted; As heretofore: but say, in my excuse,
To obey their leaders, and shun mutinies; I am indisposed.
To bear, with patience, the winter's cold, Order. I shall, madam.
And summer's scorcliing beat, Lady. Do, and leave me.
Are the essential parts make up a soldier : (E.reunt ORDER, AMBLE, and FURNACE. Not swearing, dice, or drinking. Nay, stay you, Allworth.
Allw. There's no syllable Allu. I'shall gladly grow here,
You speak, but it is to me an oracle; To wait on your commands.
Which but to doubt were impious. Lady. So soon turned courtier !
Lady. To conclude; Allæ. Stile not that courtship, madam, which Beware ill-company; for often inen is duty,
Are like to those with whom they do converse: Purchased on your part.
And from one man I warn you, and that's WellLady. Well, you shall o'ercome ;
born : I'll not contend in words. How is it with Not 'cause he's poor; that rather claims your Your noble master?
pity; Allu. Ever like himself ;
But that lie's in his manners so debauched, No scruple lessened in the full weight of ho And hath to vicious courses sold himself. nour!
'Tis true, your father loved him, while he was He did command me (pardon my presumption), Worthy the loving; but, it he had lived As his unworthy deputy, to kiss
To have seen him as he is, he had cast him off, Your ladyship's fair hands.
As you must do. Lady. I am honoured in
Allw. I shall obey in all things. His favour to me. Does he hold his purpose Lady. Follow me to my chamber; you shall For the Low Countrics?
have gold Allw. Constantly, good madam:
like my son, and still supplied But he will, in person, first present his service. As I hear from you. Lady. And how approve you of his course ? Allw. I am still your creature. you are yet,