페이지 이미지


Col. This dog has ruined all my schemes, I see trivance, Mr Freeman, as this fellow had found by Periwinkle's looks.

[Aside. out. Per. How finely I should have been choused ! Free. Mr Sackbut has told me the whole sto-Colonel, you'll pardon me that I did not give ry, Mr Periwinkle; but now I have something to you your title before-—It was pure ignorance ; tell you of much more importance to yourself. I faith it was

-Pray-hem, hem! Pray, colonel, happened to lie one night at Coventry, and, what post had this learned Egyptian in your re- knowing your uncle, sir Toby Periwinkle, I paid giment?

him a visit, and, to my great surprise, found him Col. A рох


your sneer !-[Aside.]—I don't dying. understand you, sir.

Per. Dying! Per. No, that's strange! I understand you, Free. Dying, in all appearance; the servants colonel An Egyptian of Grand Cairo ! Ha, weeping, the room in darkness: the apothecary, ha, ha! I am sorry such a well-invented tale shaking his head, told me the doctors had given should do you no more serviceWe old fel him over; and then there are small hopes, you lows can see as far into a mill-stone as them that know. pick it-I am not to be tricked out of my trust Per. I hope he njade his will—he always told -mark that.

me he would make me his heir. Col. The devil! I must carry it off; I wish I Free. I have heard you say as much, and were fairly out.-[Aside.)-Look ye, sir, you may therefore resolved to give you notice. I should make what jest you please—but the stars will be think it would not be amiss if you went down to obeyed, sir; and, depend upon't, I shall have the 'morrow morning. lady, and you none of the girdle. Now for Mr Per. It is a long journey, and the roads very Freeman's part of the plot.-[Aside.)


[Erit Colonel. Free. But he has a great estate, and the land Per. The stars ! ha, ha! No star has favoured very good-Think upon that. you, it seems -The girdle ! ha, ha, ha! none Per. Why, that's true, as you say; I'll think of your legerdemain tricks can pass upon me upon it: in the mean time, I give you many Why, what a pack of trumpery has this rogue thanks for your civility, Mr Freeman, and should picked up !-His Pagod, Poluflösboio, his Zonos, be glad of your company to dine with me. Moros Musphonons, and the devil knows what- Free. I am obliged to be at Jonathan's coffeeBut I'll take care-Ha, gone! Aye, 'twas time to house at two, and now it is half an hour after sneak off. Solio ! the house!

one. If I dispatch my business, I'll wait on you;

I know your hour.

Per. You shall be very welcome, Mr FreeWhere is this trickster? Send for a constable ; I'll man; and so your humble servant. have this rascal before the lord mayor; I'll Grand

[Exit PERIWINKLE. Cairo him, with a pox to him! I believe you had a hand in putting this imposture upon me,

Re-enter COLONĖL and SACKBUT. Sackbut.

Free. Ha, ha, ha! I have done your business, Sack. Who, I, Mr Periwinkle? I scorn it, I colonel; he has swallowed the bait. perceived he was a cheat, and left the room on Col. I overheard all, though I am a little in purpose to send for a constable to apprehend the dark; I ain to personate a highwayman, I bin, and endeavoured to stop him when he went suppose--that's a project I am not fond of; for out-But the rogue made but one step from the though I may fright him out of bjs consent, he stairs to the door, called a coach, leaped into it, may fright me out of my life, when he discovers and drove away like the devil, as Mr Freeman me, as he certainly must in the end. can witness, who is at the bar, and desires to Free. No, no; I have a plot for you without speak with you; he is this minute come to town. danger. But first, we must inanage Tradelove

Per. Send himn in.—[Exit SackBUT.}-What Has the tailor brought your clothes? a scheme this rogue has laid ! How I should have Sack. Yes, pox take the thief ! been laughed at, had it succeeded !

Free. Well, well, no matter; I warrant we

have him yet---But now you must put on the Enter Freeman, booted and spurred.

Dutch merchant. Mr Freeman, your dress commands your welcome Col. The deuce of this trading plot! I wish he to town; what will you drink? I had like to have had been an old soldier, that I might hare atbeen imposed upon here by the veriest rascal --- tacked him in my own way, heard him fight o'er

Free. I am sorry to hear it- The dog flew all the battles of the late war-But for trade-by for’t; he had no: escaped me, if I had been Jupiter, I shall never do it. aware of him; Sackbut struck at him, but mis- Sack. Never fear, colonel; Mr Freeman will sed his blow, or he had done his business for instruct you. him.

Free. You'll see what others do; the coffeePer. I believe you never heard of such a con- house will instruct you.



Col. I must venture, however- But I have a farther plot in my head upon Tradelove, which you must assist me in, Freeman; you are in credit with him, I heard you say.

Free. I am, and will scruple nothing to serve

Col. Come along, then-Now for the Dutch

-Honest Prolomy, by your leave.
Now must bag-wig and business come in play;
A thirty thousand pound girl leads the way.


you, colonel,



[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors][ocr errors]

SCENE I.—Jonathan's coffee-house, in'Change- Trade. [Reads.] 'Sir, as I hare many obliga

alley. A crowd of people, with rolls of paper tions to you, I cannot miss any opportunity to and parchment in their hands ; a bar, and shew my gratitude ; this moment my lord has recoffee-boys waiting.

ceived a private express, that the Spaniards have

raised their siege from before Cagliari. If this Enter TRADELOVE and Stock-jobbers, with rolls

proves any advantage to you, it will answer of paper and parchment.

both the ends and wishes of, sir, your inost ob1st Stock. South-Sea at seven-eights; whobliged humble servant, buys?

• HENRICUS DUSSELDONP. 2d Stock. South-sea bonds due at Michaelinas, Postscript. 1718. Class lottery-tickets?

• In two or three hours the news will be pub8d Stock. East India bonds?

4th Stock. What, all sellers and no buyers ? May one depend upon this, Mr Freeman ? Gentlemen, I'll buy a thousand pound for Tues

[Aside to FREEMAN. day next, at three-fourths.

Free. You may, I never knew this person Cof. Boy. Fresh coffee, gentlemen; fresh cof- send me a false piece of news in my life. fee?

Trade. Sir, I am much obliged to you—'Eyad, Trade. Hark ye, Gabriel, you'll pay the differ- 'tis rare news! Who sells South Sea for next ence of that stock we transacted for i'other day? week?

Gab. Aye, Mr Tradelove, here's a note for the Stock-Job. [Altogether.] I sell; I, I, I, I, I money upon the Sword Blade Company.


[Gives him a note. 1st Stock. I'll sell 5000l. for next week, at five Cof. Boy. Bohea tca, gentlemen?


2d Stock. I'll sell ten thousand at five-eighths Enter a Mun.

for the same time. . Man. Is Mr Smuggler here?

Trade. Nay, nay; hold, hold; not all together, 1st Cof. Boy. Mr Smuggler's not here, sir;- gentlemen; I'll be no bull, I'll buy no more than I you will find him at the books.

can take: will you sell ten thousand pounds at 2d Stock. Ho! here come two sparks from a half, for any day next wcek, except Saturday? t'other end of the town; what news bring they? 1st Stock. I'll sell it you, Mr Tradelove.

Free. [Whispers to one of the gentlemen.] Enter two Gentlemen.

Gent. Aside.) The Spaniards raised the siege Trade. I would fain bite the spark in the of Cagliari; I don't believe one word of it. brown coat; he comes very often into the alley, 2d Gent. Raised the siege ! as much as you but never employs a broker.

have raised the monument.

Free. 'Tis raised, I assure you, sir.

2d Gent. What will you lay on it?
2d Stock. Who does any thing in the Civil Free. What you please.
List Lottery? or Caco? Zounds, where are all 1st Gent. Why, I have a brother upon the
the Jews this afternoon ? Are you a bull or a spot, in the Emperor's service; I am certain, if
bear to-day, Abraham?

there were any such thing, I should have had a 3d Stock. A bull, faith! but I have a good letter. put for next week.

2d Stock. How's this? the siege of Cagliari Trade. Mr Freeman, your servant! Who is raised? I wish it may be true, 'twill make busithat gentleman?

ness stir, and stocks rise. Free. A Dutch merchant just come to Eng- 1st Stock. Tradelove's a cunning fat bear; if land. But hark ye, Mr Tradelove, I have a piece this news proves true, I shall repent I sold hiin of news will get you as much as the French the five thousand pounds. Pray, sir, what assuking's death did if you are expeditious. (Shewing a rance have you that the siege is raised? letter.] Read there; I received it just now Free. There is come on express to the Empefrom one that belongs to the Emperor's mini-ror's minister. ster.

2d Stock. I'll know that presently,




1st Gent. Let it come where it will, I'll hold 2d Boy. Mr Humphry Hump is not h er you fifty pounds 'tis false.

you'll find himn upon the Dutch walk. Free. 'Tis done.

Trade. Mr Freeman, I give you many thanks 2d Gent. I'll lay you a brace of hundreds upon for your kindnessthe same.

Free. I fear you'll repent, when you know all. Free. I'll take vou.

[Aside. 4th Stock. 'Egad, I'll hold twenty pieces 'tis Trade. Will you dine with me? not raised, sir.

Free. I'm engaged at Sack but's; adieu. Free. Dong with you, too.

[Erit FREE. Trade. I'll lay any man a brace of thousands Trade. Sir, your humble servant. Now I'll see the siege is raised.

what I can do upon Change with my news. Frce, The Dutch merchant is your man to

[Exit Trade, take in.

(Aside to TRADELOVE. Trade. Does not he know the news?

SCENE II.-The tavern. Free. Not a syllable; if he did, he would bet a hundred thousand pounds as soon as one pen

Enter Freeman and COLONEL. ny; he's plaguy rich, and a mighty man at wa- Free. Ha, ha, ha! The old fellow swallowed gers.

TO TRADELOVE. { the bait as greedily as a gudgeon. Trade. Say you 50- —'Egad, i'll bite hiin, if Col. I have him, faith, ha, ha, ha!- His two possible. Are you from Holland, sir?

thousand pounds secure--If he would kecp his Col. Ya, mynheer.

money, he unust part with the lady, ha, ha! Trade. Had you the news before you came a- What came of your two friends? they performed

their part very well; you should have brought Col. What believe you, mynheer?

them to take a glass with us. Trade. What do I believe? Why, I believe Free. No matter, we'll drink a bottle together that the Spaniards have actually raised the siege another time. I did not care to bring them hiof Cagliari.

ther; there's no necessity to trust them with the Col. What duyvel's news is dat? 'Tis niet main secret, you know, colonel. waer, mynheeris no true, sir.

Col. Nay, that's right, Freeman. Trade. 'Tis so true, inynheer, that I'll lay you two thousand pounds upon it. You are sure the

Enter SACKBUT. letter may be depended upon, Mr Freeman? Sack. Joy, joy, colonel! the luckiest accident

Frre. Do you think I would venture my mo- in the world! ney, if I were not sure of the truth of it?

Col. What sayest thou ? [Aside to TRADELOVE. Suck. This letter does your business. Col. Two duysend pound, mynheer, 'tis ga- Col. (Reuds.] . To Obadiah Prim, hosier, near daen- dis gentleman sal hold de gelt.

• the building called the Monument, in London.' [Gives Freeman money.

Free. A letter to Prim! Ilow came you by it! Trade. With all my heart--this binds the Sack. Looking over the letters our post-woman

brought, as I always do, to see what letters are Free. You have certainly lost, mynheer, the directed to my house (for she can't read, you siege is raised indeed.

must know), I espied this directed to Prim, so Cal

. Ik gelov't niet, mynheer Freeman, ik sal paid for it among the rest; I have given the old ye dubbled honden, if you please.

jade a pint of wine on purpose to delay time, till Free. I am let into the secret; therefore, won't you see if the letter be of any service; then I'll win your money,

seal it up again, and tell I took it by mistake ;Trade. Ha, ha, ha! I have snapt the Dutch- I have read it, and fancy you'll like the projeet. man, faith, ha, ha! this is no ill day's work. Rend, read, colonel. Pray, may I crave your name, mynheer?

Col. Reuds.] • Friend Prim, there is arrived Col. slyn naem, mynbeer! myn naem is Jan ' from Pennsylvania one Simon Pure, a leader of Van Timtamtirelereleita Heer Van Fainwell. the faithful, who hath sojourned with us eleven

Trade. Zounds, 'tis a damned long name, I days, and hath been of great comfort to the shall never remember it-Myn heer van, Tim, brethren. He intendeth for the quarterly meetTim, Tim-- What the devil is it?

ing in London; I have recommended him to thy Free. Oh! never heed, I know the gentleman, house. I pray thee treat him kindly, and let and will pass my word for twice the sum. thy wife cherislı him, for he's of weakly constiTrade. That's enough.

'tution he will depart from us the third day; Col. You'll hear of me souner than you'll wish, which is all from ths friend in the faith, old gentleman, I fancy. [Aside.] You'll come to

AMINADAB HOLDFAST.' Sackbut's, Freeman ?

[Erit Col. Ha, ha! excellent! I understand you, landlord; Free. Immediately. [ Aside to the Col. I am to personate this Simon Pure, am I not? 1st Man. Humphry Hump here?

Suck. Don't you like the hint?



but; and suppose,


Col. Admirably well!

Col. Mr Proteus rather-
Free. 'Tis the best contrivance in the world, if
the right Simon gets not there before you— From changing shape, and imitating Jove,
Col. No, no; the quakers never ride post;

he I draw the happy omens of my love. can't be here before to-morrow at soonest : do I'm not the first young brother of the blade, you send and buy me a quaker's dress, Mr Sack- Who made his fortune in a masquerade. Freeman, you should wait at

[Erit Colonel. the Bristol coach, that if you see any such per

Enter TRADELOVE. son, you might contrive to give me notice.

Free. I will—the country dress and boots, are Free. Zounds! Mr Tradelove, we're bit, it they ready? Šack. Yes, yes ; every thing, sir,

Trade. Bit, do you call it, Mr Freeman ! I am Free. Bring them in then. [Exit Sack.] Thou ruined.-- -Pox on your news! must dispatch Periwinkle first remember his Free. Pox on the rascal that sent it me! uncle, sir Toby Periwinkle, is an old batchelor of Trade. Sent it you! Why Gabriel Skinfint has seventy-five-that he has seven hundred a year, been at the minister's, and spoke with him, and most in abbey-land—that he was once in love he has assured him 'tis every syllable false; he with your mother, shrewdly suspected by some received no such express.. to be your father-that you have been thirty Free. I know it: I this minute parted with years his steward--and ten years his gentleman- my friend, who protested he never sent me any remeniber to improve these hints.

such letter-Some roguish stock-jobber has Col. Never fear; let me alone for that—but done it, on purpose to make me lose my money what's the steward's name?

that's certain : I wish I knew who he was; I'd Free. His name is Pillage.

make him repent it-I have lost three hundred Col. Enough—[Enter SackBut with clothes.] pounds by it. -Now for the country put

Dresses Trade. What signifies your three hundred Free. Egad, landlord, thou deservest to have pounds, to what I have lost? There's two thouthe first night's lodging with the lady for thy fide- sand pounds to that Dutchman with a cursed lity; what say you, colonel ? shall we settle a club long name, besides the stock I bought : the dehere? you'll make one?

vil! I could tear my flesh-I must never shew my Col. Make one! I'll bring a set of honest of- face upon 'Change more ;- -for, by my soul, ficers, that will spend their money as freely to I can't the king's health, as they would their blood in his Free. I am heartily sorry for it! What can I service.

serve you in ? Shall I speak to the Dutch merSack. I thank you, colonel ; here, here. chant, and try to get you time for the payment?

(Bell rings. Erit Sack. Trade. Time! Ads heart, I shall never be able Col. So, now for my boots. [Puts on boots.] to look up again. Shall I find you here, Freeman, when I come Free. I am very much concerned that I was back?

the occasion, and wish I could be an instrument Free. Yes—or I'll leave word with Sackbut of retrieving your misfortune ; for my own, I vawhere he may send for me. Have you the writ- lue it not. Adso! a thought comes into my head, ings, the will -and every thing?

that, well improved, may be of service. Col. All, all!

Trade. Ah! there's no thought can be of any

without paying the money, or runEnter SackBUT.

ning away. Sack. Zounds! Mr Freeman! yonder is Trade- Free. How do we know? What do think love in the damnedest passion in the world—He of my proposing Mrs Lovely to him? He is a swears you are in the house-he says you told single man--and I heard him say, he had a mind him you were to dine here.

to marry an English woman—nay, more than Free. I did so; ha, ha, ha! he has found him- that, he said somebody told him you had a pretty self bít already

ward-he wished you had betted her instead of Col. The devil! he must not see me in this your money. dress.

Trade. Ay, but he'd be hanged before he'd Sack. I told him I expected you here, but you take her instead of the money; the Dutch are were not come yet

too covetous for that. Besides, he did not know Free. Very well-make you haste out, colonel, that there were three of us, I suppose ? and let me alone to deal with hiin : where is he? Free. So much the better; you may venture Sack. In the King's Head.

to give him your consent, if he'll forgive you the Col. You remember what I told you?

wager: It is not your business to tell him, that Free. Ay, ay, very well. Landlord, let him your consent will signify nothing. know I am come in--and now, Mr Pillage, Trade. That's right, as you say; but will be do success attend you !

[Exit SACKBUT. it, think you?

pay it,

service to me,



[ocr errors]

you be?

Free. I can't tell that; but I'll try what I can you Pillage. —Pray, Mr Pillage, when did my do with him—_He has promised to meet me uncle die? here an hour hence; I'll feel his pulse, and let Col. Monday last, at four in the morning, you know: if I find it feasible, I'll send for you; About two he signed his will, and gave it into if not, you are at liberty to take what measures my hands, and strictly charged me to leave Coyou please.

ventry the moment he expired, and deliver it to Trade. You must extol her beauty, double her you with what speed I could: I have obeyed him, portion, and tell him I have the entire disposal of sir, and there is the will. [Gives it to Per. her, and that she can't marry without my consent; Per. 'Tis very well; I'll lodge it in the Com

and that I am a covetous rogue, and will mons. never part with her without a valuable conside- Col. There are two things which he forgot to ration.

insert; but charged me to tell you, that he deFree. Ay, ay; let me alone for a lye at a sired you'd perform them as readily as if you had pinch.

found them written in the will—which is, to reTrade. 'Egad, if you can bring this to bear, move his corpse, and bury him by his father at Mr Freeman, I'll make you whole again; I'll pay St Paul's, Covent-Garden, and to give all his serthe three hundred pounds you lost, with all my vants mourning: soul.

Per. That will be a considerable charge; a pos Free. Well, I'll use my best cndeavours- of all modern fashions ! [Aside. ]-Well, it shall Where will

be done. Mr Pillage, I will agree with one of Trude. At home; pray Heaven you prosper, death's fashion-mongers, called an undertaker, to If I were but the sole trustee pow, should not go down, and bring up the body. fear it. Who the devil would be a guardian, Col. I hope, sir, I shall have the honour to

If, when cash runs low, our coffers t'enlarge, serve you in the same station I did your worthy We can't, like other stocks, transier our charge? uncle; I have not many years to stay behind him,

[Exit TraDeLOVE. and would gladly spend them in the family, where Free. Ha, ha, ha !-He has it.

I was brought up-[Weeps.]–He was a kind and [Exit Freeman. tender master to me.

Per. Pray, don't grieve, Mr Pillage, you shall SCENE IIIChanges to Periwinkle's house. hold your place, and every thing else which you

held under my uncle.—You make me weep to see Enter Periwinkle on one side, and Footman you so concerned. (Weeps.] He lived to a good on the other,

old age, and we are all morta). Foot. A gentleman from Coventry inquires for Col. We are so, sir; and, therefore, I must beg

you to sign this lease : you'll find sir Toby has taPer. From my uncle, I warrant you; bring ken particular notice of it in his will — I could him up---This will save me the trouble, as not get it time enough from the lawyer, or he had well as the expence, of a journey,

signed it before he died.

[Gives him a paper:

Per. A lease! for what?

Col. I rented a hundred a-year of sir Toby up

on lease, which lease expires at Lady-day next. Col. Is your name Periwinkle, sir?

I desire to renew it for twenty years, that's all, Per. It is, sir,

sir. Col. I am sorry for the message I bring-My Per. Let me see! (Looks over the lease. old master, whom I served these forty years, Col. Matters go swimmingly, if nothing interclaims the sorrow due from a faithful servant to vene!

[ Aside an indulgent master.

[Weeps. Per. Very well-Let's see what he says in his Per. By this I understand, sir, my uncle, sir will about it. Toby Periwinkle, is dead?

[Lays the lease upon the table, and looks Col. He is, sir, and he has left you heir to

on the will. seven hundred a-year, in as good abbey-land as Col. He's very wary; yet I fancy I shall be too ever paid Peter-pence to Rome.--I wish you cunning for him.

[Aside. long to enjoy it; but my tears will flow when I Per. Ho, here it is—' The farm lying-now in think of my master.- Weeps.] Ah! he was a possession of Samuel Pillage-suffer him to regood man- he has not left many of his new his lease—at the same rent–Very well, Mr fellows--the poor lament him sorely.

Pillage, I see my

does mention it, and I'll Per. I pray, sir, what office bore you? perform his will

. Give me the lease—[Colonel Col. I was his steward, sir.

gives it him ; he looks upon it, and lays it upon Per. I have heard him mention you with much the table.] Pray you step to the door, and call for respect; your name is

a pen and ink, Mr Pillage. Col. Pillaye, sir.

Col. I have a pen and ink in my pocket, sir. L'er. Ay, Pillage; I do remember he called [Pulls out an ink-horr.] I never go without thate

you, sir.

« 이전계속 »