Phil. I think I remember the silly accident.What made ye, you oaf, ready to fall down into the street?

Tʊm. You know not, I warrant you-you could not guess what surprised me-you took no delight when you immediately grew wanton in your conquest, and put your lips close, and breathed upon the glass; and, when my lips approached, a dirty cloth you rubbed against my face, and hid your beauteous form; when I again drew near, you spit, and rubbed, and smiled, at my undoing. Phil. What silly thoughts you men have! Tom. We were Pyramus and Thisbe-but ten times harder was my fate: Pyramus could peep only through a wall; I saw her, saw my Thisbe, in all her beauty, but as much kept from her as if a hundred walls between; for there was more, there was her will against me.-Would she but relent!—Oh, Phillis! Phillis! shorten my torment, and declare you pity me.

Phil. Oh, Tom! you grow wanton and sensual, as my lady calls it: I must not endure it. Oh, foh! you are a man, an odious, filthy, male creature! you should behave, if you had a right sense, or were a man of sense, like Mr Cimberton, with distance and indifference; or, let me see, some other becoming hard word, with seeming in-in-advertency, and not rush on as if you were seizing a prey. But hush!—the ladies are coming.- -Good Tom, don't kiss me above once, and be gone.-Lard! we have been fooling and toying, and not considered the main business of our masters and mistresses.

Tom. Why, their business is to be fooling and toying, as soon as the parchments are ready.

Tom. Oh, my charming Phillis! if all depended on my fair one's will, I could with glory suffer-but, dearest creature! consider our miserable state.

Phil. How! miserable!

Tom. We are miserable to be in love, and under the command of others than those we lovewith that generous passion in the heart, to be sent to and fro on errands, called, checked, and rated for the meanest trifles-Oh, Phillis! you don't know how many china cups and glasses my passion for you has made me break: you have broken my fortune as well as my heart.

Phil. Well, Mr Thomas, I cannot but own to you that I believe your master writes, and you speak, the best of any men in the world. Never was a woman so well pleased with a letter, as my young lady was with his; and this is an an[Gives him a letter.

swer to it.

Tom. This was well done, my dearest! Consider, we must strike out some pretty livelihood for ourselves, by closing their affairs: it will be nothing for them to give us a little being of our own, some small tenement out of their large possessions: whatever they give us, it will be more than what they keep for themselves: one acre with Phillis, would be worth a whole country without her.

Phil. Oh, could I but believe you! Tom. If not the utterance, believe the touch, of my lips. [Kisses her. Phil. There's no contradicting you. How closely you argue, Tom!

Tom. And will closer, in due time; but I must hasten with this letter, to hasten towards the possession of you-then, Phillis, consider how I must be revenged (look to it!) of all your skittishness, shy looks, and, at best, but coy compliances.

my mistress herself has signed and sealed in her heart to Mr Myrtle.-Did I not bid you kiss me but once, and be gone? But I know you won't be satisfied.

Tom. No, you smooth creature! how should I? [Kisses her hand. Phil. Well, since you are humble, or so cool, as to ravish my hand only, I'll take my leave of you like a great lady, and you a man of quality. They salute formally.

Tom. Pox of all this state!

[Offers to kiss her more closely.

Phil. No, pr'ythee, Tom, mind your business. We must follow that interest which will take, but endeavour at that which will be most for us, and we like most. -Oh, here is my young mistress! [Tom taps her neck behind, and kisses his fingers.] Go, ye liquorish fool! [Erit Toм.

Enter LUCINDA.

Luc. Who was that you were hurrying away? Phil. One that I had no mind to part with. Luc. Why did you turn him away, then?

Phil. For your ladyship's service; to carry your ladyship's letter to his master. I could hardly get the rogue away.

Luc. Why, has he so little love for his master? Phil. No; but he has so much love for his mistress.

Luc. But I thought I heard him kiss you: why do you suffer that?

Phil. Why, madam, we vulgar take it to be a sign of love. We servants, we poor people, that have nothing but our persons to bestow or treat for, are forced to deal and bargain by way of sample; and therefore, as we have no parchments or wax necessary in our agreements, we squeeze with our hands, and seal with our lips, to ratify vows and promises.

Luc. But can't you trust one another, without such earnest down?

Luc. Thou art a pert, merry hussy. Phil. I wish, madam, your lover and you were as happy as Tom and your servant are. Luc. You grow impertinent.

Phil. I have done, madam; and I won't ask you what you intend to do with Mr Myrtle, what your father will do with Mr Bevil, nor what you all, especially my lady, mean by admitting Mr Cimberton as particularly here as if he were mar- | ried to you already; nay, you are married actually, as far as people of quality are.

Luc. How's that?

Phil. You have different beds in the same house.

Luc. Pshaw!- -I have a very great value for Mr Bevil, but have absolutely put an end to his pretensions, in the letter I gave you for him; but my father, in his heart, still has a mind to him, were it not for this woman they talk of; and I am apt to imagine he is married to her, or never designs to marry at all.

Phil. Then, Mr Myrtle

Luc. He had my parents' leave to apply to me, and, by that, he has won me and my affections: who is to have this body of mine, without them, it seems, is nothing to me: my mother says, 'tis indecent for me to let my thoughts stray about the person of my husband; nay, she says a maid rightly virtuous, though she may have been where her lover was a thousand times, should not have made observations enough to know him from another man, when she sees him in a third place.

Phil. That's more than the severity of a nun; for, not to see when one may, is hardly possible; not to see when one can't, is very easy at this rate, madam, there are a great many whom you have not seen, who

Luc. Mamma says, the first time you see your husband, should be at that instant he is made so. When your father, with the help of the minister, gives you to him, then you are to see him, then you are to observe and take notice of him, because, then, you are to obey him.

Phil. But does not my lady remember you are to love, as well as to obey?

Luc. To love is a passion; 'tis a desire; and we must have no desires. Oh! I cannot endure the reflection! With what insensibility on my part, with what more than patience, have I been exposed and offered to some awkward booby or other in every county of Great Britain!

Phil. Indeed, madam, I wonder I never heard you speak of it before with this indignation.

of the field; and that in such an instance as coming together, to an entire familiarity, and union of soul and body; and this without being so much as well-wishers to each other, but for increase of fortune!

Phil. But, madam, all these vexations will end very soon in one for all: Mr Cimberton is your mother's kinsman, and three hundred years an older gentleman than any lover you ever had; for which reason, with that of his prodigious large estate, she is resolved on him, and has sent to consult the lawyers accordingly; nay, has, whether you know it or no, been in treaty with sir Geoffrey, who, to join in the settlement, has accepted of a sum to do it, and is every moment expected in town for that purpose.

Luc. How do you get all this intelligence?

Phil. By an art I have, I thank my stars, beyond all the waiting maids in Great Britain; the art of listening, madam, for your ladyship's service.

Luc. I shall soon know as much as you do. Leave me, leave me, Phillis; begone! Here, here, I'll turn you out. My mother says I must not converse with my servants, though I must converse with no one else. [Exit PHILLIS.] How unhappy are we who are born to great fortunes! No one looks at us with indifference, or acts towards us on the foot of plain-dealing; yet, by all I have been heretofore offered to, or treated for, I have been used with the most agreeable of all abuses, flattery; but now, by this phlegmatic fool, I am used as nothing, or a mere thing: he, forsooth, is too wise, too learned, to have any regard to desires, and I know not what the learned oaf calls sentiments of love and passion!!-Here he comes with my mother-'tis much if he looks at me; or, if he does, takes no more notice of me than of any other moveable in the room.

Enter MRS SEALAND and MR CIMBERTON.

Mrs Sea. How do I admire this noble, this learned taste of yours, and the worthy regard you have to our own ancient and honourable house, in consulting a means to keep the blood as pure and regularly descended as may be

Cim. Why, really, madam, the young women of this age are treated with discourses of such a tendency, and their imaginations so bewildered in flesh and blood, that a man of reason can't talk to be understood: they have no ideas of happiness but what are more gross than the gratification of hunger and thirst.

Trade. Oh! pox of the name! what! have you tricked me, too, Mr Freeman?

Col. Tricked, Mr Tradelove! did not I give you two thousand pounds for your consent fairly? And, now, do you tell a gentleman he has tricked you?

Per. So, so, you are a pretty guardian, faith, to sell your charge! what! did you look upon her as part of your stock?

Oba. Prim. Ha, ha, ha! I am glad thy knavery is found out, however- -I confess the maiden over-reached me, and I had no sinister end at

all.

Per. Ay, ay, one thing or other over-reached you all-but I'll take care he shall never finger a penny of her money, I warrant you-Over-reached, quoth'a! Why, I might have been over-reached, too, if I had had no more wit: I don't know but this very fellow may be him that was directed to me from Grand Cairo t'other day. Ha, ha, ha!

Col. The very same.

Per. Are you so, sir? but your trick would not pass upon me.

Col. No, as you say, at that time it did not; that was not my lucky hour-but, hark ye, sir, I must let you into one secret-you may keep honest John Tradescant's coat on, for your uncle sir Toby Periwinkle is not dead--so the charge of mourning will be saved-ha, ha, ha! Don't you remember Mr Pillage, your uncle's steward? Ha, ha, ha!

Per. Not dead! I begin to fear I am tricked,

Per. I am certain I read as plain a lease as ever I read in my life.

Col. You read a lease, I grant you; but you signed this contract. [Shewing a paper. Per. How durst you put this trick upon me, Mr Freeman? Did not you tell me my uncle was dying?

Free. And would tell you twice as much to serve my friend-ha, ha!

Sir Phi. What! the learned and famous Mr Periwinkle choused, too!--Ha, ha, ha !-—I shall die with laughing--ha, ha, ha!

Oba. Prim. It had been well if her father had left her to wiser heads than thine and mine, friends--ha, ha, ha!

Trade. Well, since you have outwitted us all, pray you, what and who are you, sir?

Sir Phi. Sir, the gentleman is a fine gentleman. I am glad you have got a person, madam, who understands dress and good-breeding. I was resolved she should have a husband of my choosing.

Oba. Prim. I am sorry the maiden has fallen into such hands.

up.

Trade. A beau! nay, then, she is finely helped

Mrs Love. Why, beaux are great encouragers of trade, sir. Ha, ha, ha!

Col. Look ye, gentlemen; I am the person who can give the best account of myself; and I must beg sir Philip's pardon, when I tell him, that I have as much aversion to what he calls dress and breeding, as I have to the enemies of my religion. I have had the honour to serve his majesty, and headed a regiment of the bravest fellows that ever pushed bayonet in the throat of a Frenchman; and, notwithstanding the fortune this lady brings me, whenever my country wants my aid, this sword and arm are at her service.

Therefore, my dear, if thou'lt but deign to smile,
I meet a recompense for all my toil.
Love and religion ne'er admit restraint,
And force makes many sinners, not one saint;
Still free as air the active mind does rove,
And searches proper objects for its love;
But that once fixed, 'tis past the power of art
To chase the dear idea from the heart:
'Tis liberty of choice that sweetens life,
Makes the glad husband, and the happy wife.
[Exeunt omnes.

usual, and I must depend upon my reflection | and philosophy not to overstock my family.

Mrs Sea. I cannot help her, cousin Cimberton; but she is, for aught I see, as well as the daughter of any body else.

Cim. That is very true, madam.

Enter a Servant, who whispers MRS SEALAND. Mrs Sea. The lawyers are come, and now we are to hear what they have resolved as to the point, whether it is necessary that sir Geoffry should join in the settlement, as being what they call in the remainder. But, good cousin, you must have patience with them. These lawyers, I am told, are of a different kind; one is what they call a chamber-counsel, the other a pleader the conveyancer is slow from an imperfection in his speech, and therefore shunned the bar, but extremely passionate, and impatient of contradiction: the other is as warm as he, but has a tongue so voluble, and a head so conceited, he will suffer nobody to speak but himself.

Cim. You mean old serjeant Target and counsellor Bramble: I have heard of them. Mrs Sea. The same: shew in the gentlemen. [Exit Servant. Re-enter Servant, introducing MYRTLE and Toм, disguised as BRAMBLE and TARGET. Gentlemen, this is the party concerned, Mr Timberton; and I hope you have considered of the

matter.

Tar. Yes, makam, we have agreed that it must be by indent-dent-dent-dent

Bram. Yes, madam, Mr Serjeant and myself have agreed, as he is pleased to inform you, that it must be an indenture tripartite; and tripartite let it be, for sir Geoffry must needs be a party. Old Cimberton, in the year 1619, says, in that ancient roll in Mr Serjeant's hands, as recourse thereto being had will more at large appear

Tar. Yes, and, by the deeds in your hands, it appears, that

Bram. Mr Serjeant, I beg of you to make no inferences upon what is in our custody, but speak to the titles in your own deeds. I shall not shew that deed, till my client is in town.

Cim. You know best your own methods. Mrs Sea. The single question is, Whether the entail is such, that my cousin, sir Geoffry, is necessary in this affair?'

Brum. Yes, as to the lordship of Tretriplet, but not as to the messuage of Grimgribber.

Tar. I say, that Gr-gr-, that Gr-gr-, Grimgribber, Grimgribber is in us; that is to say, the remainder thereof, as well as that of Tr— Tr- Triplet.

Bram. You go upon the deed of sir Ralph, made in the middle of the last century, precedent to that in which old Cimberton made over the remainder, and inade it pass to the heirs general, by which your client comes in; and I

question whether the remainder even of Tretriplet is in him—but we are willing to wave that, and give him a valuable consideration. But we shall not purchase what is in us for ever, as Grimgribber is, at the rate as we guard against the contingent of Mr Cimberton having no son. Then we know sir Geoffrey is the first of the collateral male line in this family-yet

Tar. Sir, Gr-gr—ber is

Brum. I apprehend you very well, and your argument might be of force, and we would be inclined to hear that in all its parts-but, sir, I see very plainly what you are going into-I tell you it is as probable a contingent, that sir Geoffry may die before Mr Cimberton, as that he may outlive him.

Tar. Sir, we are not ripe for that yet, but I must say

Bram. Sir, I allow you the whole extent of that argument, but that will go no farther than as to the claimants under old Cimberton. I am of opinion, that, according to the instructions of sir Ralph, he could not dock the entail, and then create a new estate for the heirs in general.

Tar. Sir, I have no patience to be told, that when Gr-gr-ber—

Bram. I will allow it you, Mr Serjeant; but there must be the words, heirs for ever, to make such an estate as you pretend.

Cim. I must be impartial, though you are counsel for my side of the question. Were it not that you are so good as to allow him what he has not said, I should think it very hard you should answer him without hearing him. But, gentlemen, I believe you have both considered this matter, and are firm in your different opinions; 'twere better, therefore, you proceeded according to the particular sense of each of you, and give your thoughts distinctly in writingAnd, do you see, sirs, pray let me have a copy of what you say in English.

Bram. Why, what is all we have been saying? In English! Oh! but I forgot myself; you're a wit. But, however, to please you, sir, you shalt have it in as plain terms as the law will admit of.

Cim. But I will have it, sir, without delay.

Bram. That, sir, the law will not admit of; the courts are sitting at Westminster, and I am this moment obliged to be at every one of them; and 'twould be wrong if I should not be in the hall to attend one of them at least; the rest would take it ill else:-therefore, I must leave what I have said to Mr Serjeant's consideration, and I will digest his arguments on my part, and you shall hear from me again, sir.

[Exit BRAMBLE.

Tar. Agreed, agreed. Cim. Mr Bramble is very quick-he parted a little abruptly.

Tar. He could not bear my argument; I pinched him to the quick about that Gr-gr

ber.