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Nor will I have the least affront stick on thee, I can spare from myself, to help your wants.
Well. How's this?
To put you in better fashion. Do I run the hazard ?
Well. Money from thee? Well. Art thou not in love?
From a boy, a stipendary? one that lives Put it not off with wonder.
At the devotion of a step-mother, Allw. In love, at my years?
And the uncertain favour of a lord ? Well. You think you walk in clouds, but are I'll eat my arms first. Howsoe'er blind fortune transparent.
Hath spent the utmost of her malice on me; I have heard all, and the choice that you have Though I am vomited out of an alehouse, made;
And thus accoutred; know not where to eat, And, with my finger can point out the north Or drink, or sleep, but underneath this canopy; star,
Although I thank thee, I despise thy offer. By which the load-stone of your folly's guided. And as I, in my madness, broke my state And, to confirm this true, what think
of Without the assistance of another's brain, Fair Margaret, the only child and heir
In my right wits I'll piece it; at the worst,
SCENE II.-A Chamber in Lady ALLWORTH'S
House. cured With balms, but corrosives. I must be plain :
Enter ORDER, AMBLE, FURNACE. Art thou scarce manumized from the porter's lodge,
Order. Set all things right, or, as my name is And yet sworn servant to the pantoffle,
Order, And darest thou dream of marriage ?
Whoever misses in his function, Allw. Howe'er you have discovered my in- For one whole week makes forfeiture of his tents,
breakfast, You know my aims are lawful; and if ever And privilege in the wine cellar. The queen of flowers, the glory of the spring,
Amble. You are merry. The sweetest comfort to our smell, the rose, Good master steward. Sprang from an envious briar, I may infer,
Furn. Let him; I'll be
angry. There's such disparity in their conditions
Amble. Why, fellow Furnace, 'tis not twelve
Nor dinner taking up; then 'tis allowed
Cooks, by their places, may be choleric. As I believe it; canst thou ever hope
Furn. You think you have spoke wisely, good To enjoy a quiet bed with her, whose father
man Amble, Ruined thy state?
My lady's go-before. Allw. And yours too,
Order. Nay, nay, no wrangling, Well. I confess it, Allworth.
Furn. Twit me with the authority of the I must tell you as a friend, and freely,
And, thus provoked, when I am at my prayers
Order. With whom?
with lady. And prosper in it.
Amble. Heaven forbid, man! Allw. You have well advised me;
Order. What cause has she given thee? But, in the mean time, you, that are so studious Furn. Cause enough, master steward : Ot my affairs, wholly neglect your own.
I was entertained by her to please her palate, Remember yourself, and in what plight you are. And, till she forswore eating, I performed it. Well. No matter, no matter.
Now, since our master, noble Allworth, died, Allw. Yes, 'tis much material :
Though I crack my brains to find out tempting You know my fortune, and my means; yet some- sauces, thing
When I am three parts roasted,
I am angry
And the fourth part par-boiled, to prepare her Like virgin parchment, capable of any viands,
Inscription, vicious or honourable.
Order. But your art is seen in the dining room. Ållw. Any form you please
I will put on: but, might I make my choice,
Lady. 'Tis well answered, With none so much, as the thin-gutted squire, And I commend your spirit: you had a father, That's stolen into commission,
(Blessed be his inemory) that some few hours Order. Justice Greedy?
Before the will of Heaven took him from me, Furn. The same, the same. Meat is cast away Did commend you, by the dearest ties upon him :
Of perfect love between us, to my charge : It never thrives. He holds his paradox, And, therefore, what I speak, you are bound to Who eats not well, can ne'er do justice well.
hear His stomach's as insatiate as the grave.
With such respect, as if he lived in me. Amble. One knocks.
Allw. I have found you, (ALLWORTH knocks, and enters. Most honoured madam, the best mother tome; Order. Our late young master.
And with my utmost strength of care and service, Amble. Welcome, sir.
Will labour that you never may repent
Your bounties showered upon me.
These were your father's words : If e'er my son Furn. We are all your servants.
Follow the war, tell him it is a school Alla. At once, my thanks to all;
Where all the principles, tending to honour, This is yet some comfort. Is my lady stirring? Are taught, if truly followed: But for such
As repair thither, as a place in which
They do presume they may, with license, pracOrder. Her presence answers for us.
tise Lady. Sort those silks well.
Their lusts and riots, they shall never merit I'll take the air alone.
The noble name of soldiers. To dare boldly And, as I gave directions, if this morning In a fair cause, and, for the country's safety, I am visited by any, entertain them
To run upon the cannon's mouth undaunted; As heretofore: but say, in my excuse,
To obey their leaders, and shun mutinies; I am indisposed.
To bear, with patience, the winter's cold, Order. I shall, madam.
And summer's scorcliing beat, Lady. Do, and leave me.
Are the essential parts make up a soldier : (E.reunt ORDER, AMBLE, and FURNACE. Not swearing, dice, or drinking. Nay, stay you, Allworth.
Allw. There's no syllable Allu. I'shall gladly grow here,
You speak, but it is to me an oracle; To wait on your commands.
Which but to doubt were impious. Lady. So soon turned courtier !
Lady. To conclude; Allæ. Stile not that courtship, madam, which Beware ill-company; for often inen is duty,
Are like to those with whom they do converse: Purchased on your part.
And from one man I warn you, and that's WellLady. Well, you shall o'ercome ;
born : I'll not contend in words. How is it with Not 'cause he's poor; that rather claims your Your noble master?
pity; Allu. Ever like himself ;
But that lie's in his manners so debauched, No scruple lessened in the full weight of ho And hath to vicious courses sold himself. nour!
'Tis true, your father loved him, while he was He did command me (pardon my presumption), Worthy the loving; but, it he had lived As his unworthy deputy, to kiss
To have seen him as he is, he had cast him off, Your ladyship's fair hands.
As you must do. Lady. I am honoured in
Allw. I shall obey in all things. His favour to me. Does he hold his purpose Lady. Follow me to my chamber; you shall For the Low Countrics?
have gold Allw. Constantly, good madam:
like my son, and still supplied But he will, in person, first present his service. As I hear from you. Lady. And how approve you of his course ? Allw. I am still your creature. you are yet,
SCENE II.-A hall in Lady ALLWORTH'S And I, in thankfulness, will, by your boy,
Send you a brace of three-pences.
Furn. Will you be so prodigal ? Enter OVERREACH, GREEDY, ORDER, AMBLE, Over. Remember me to your lady. FURNACE, and MARRALL.
Over. Still cloistered up? her reason, Who have we here?
Over. I did once, but now I will not; 'Twill not recover him.
Thou art no blood of mine. Avaunt, thou beg-
Greedy. I'll grant the warrant.
[E.reunt OVERREACH, GREEDY, and Marral. Greedy. Is it of the right race?
Amble. Will you out, sir? Order. Yes, Mr Greedy.
I wonder how you durst creep in. Amble. How his mouth runs over!
Order. This is rudeness Furn. I'll make it run and run. Save your And saucy impudence. good worship!
Amble. Cannot you stay Greedy. Honest Mr Cook, thy hand; again! To be served among your fellows from the basHow I love thee !
ket, Are the good dishes still in being ? speak, boy. But you must press into the hall ? Furn. If you have a mind to feed, there is a Furn. Prithee, vanish chine
Into some out-house, though it be the pig-sty; Of beef well seasoned.
My scullion shall come to thee.
Well. This is rare :
Oh, here is Tom Allworth! Tom ! Besides, there came last night, from the forest of Allw. We must be strangers ; Sherwood,
Nor would I have seen you here for a million. The fattest stag I ever cooked.
[Exit. Greedy. A stag, man?
Well. Better and better. He contemns me, Furn. A stag, sir; part of it is prepared for too. dinner,
Furn. Will you know your way? And baked in puff-paste.
Amble. Or shall we teach it you, Greedy. Puff-paste, too, Sir Giles !
By the head and shoulders ? A ponderous chine of beef! a pheasant larded ! Well. No; I will not stir: And red deer, too, Sir Giles, and baked in puff- Do you mark, I will not. Let me see the wretch
That dares attempt to force me. Why, you All business set aside, let us give thanks here.
slaves, Over. You know we cannot.
Created only to make legs, and cringe ; Mar. Your worships are to sit on a commis- To carry in a dish and shift a trencher; sion,
That have not souls only to hope a blessing And if you fail to come, you lose the cause. Beyond your master's leavings; you that were Greedy. Cause me no causes; I'll prove it, born for such a dinner,
Only to consume meat and drink, and batten We may put off a commission; you shall find it pon reversions; Who advances? who Henrici decimo quarto.
Shews me the way? Over. Fie, Mr Greedy!
Order. Here comes my lady. Will you lose me a thousand pounds for a dinner?
Enter LADY. No more, for shame! We must forget the belly, Lady. What noise is this? When we think of profit.
Weil. Madam, my designs bear me to you. Greedy. Well, you shall o'er-rule me.
Lady. To me ?
But ragged entertainment from your grooms here, Send but a corner of that immortal pasty; I hope from you to receive that noble usage,
As may become the true friend of your hus So winning a behaviour, not to be band;
Resisted, madam. And then I shall forget these.
Lady. 'Tis most true, he had. Lady. I am amazed,
Weit. For his sake, then, in that I was his To see and hear this rudeness. Dar'st thou friend, think,
Do not contemn me.
I will redeem it. toffers him her pocket-book.
But be supplied elsewhere, or want thus ever. But as, in form, you are angelical,
Only one suit I make, which you deny not Imitate the heavenly natures, and vouchsafe To strangers; and 'tis this : pray, give me leave. At least a while to hear me. You will grant,
[Whispers to her. The blood, that runs in this arm, is as noble Lady. Fie ! nothing else? As that which fills your veins. Your swelling Well. Nothing; unless you please to charge titles,
[Erit Lady You have a fair fame, and, I know, deserve it; Now, what can be wrought out of such a suit, Yet, lady, I must say, in nothing more,
Is yet in supposition-[Servants bow.}-Nay, all's Than in the pious sorrow you have shewn
forgotten, For your late noble husband.
And for a lucky omen to my project, Order. How she starts !
Shake hands, and end all quarrels in the cellar. H'ell. That husband, madam, was once, in his Order. Agreed, agreed. fortune,
Furn. Still merry, Mr Well-born ? Almost as low as I. Want, debts, and quarrels,
[Ereunt Servants. Lay heavy on him : let it not be thought
Well. Well, faith, a right worthy, and a liberal A boast in me, though I say, I relieved him.
lady, 'Twas I, that gave him fashion; mine, the sword Who can, at once, so kindly meet my purposes, That did, on all occasions, second his;
And brave the flouts of censure, to redeein I brought him on and off, with honour, lady: Her husband's friend! When by this honest plot And, when in all men's judgments, he was The world believes she means to heal my wants sunk,
With her extensive wealth, each noisy creditor And in his own hopes not to be buoyed up, Will be struck mute, and I be left, at large, I stepped unto him, took him by the hand, To practise on my uncle Overreach; And brought him to the shore.
Whose foul, rapacious spirit, (on the hearing Furn. Are not we base rogues,
Of my encouragement from this rich lady) That could forget this?
Again will court me to his house of patronage. Well. I confess, you made him
Here, I may work the measure to redeem Master of your estate; nor could your friends, My mortgaged fortune, which he stripped me of, Though he brought no wealth with him, blame When youth and dissipation quelled iny reason. you for it:
The fancy pleases—if the plot succeed, For he had a shape, and to that shape a mind, 'Tis a new way to pay old debts, indeed. Made up of all parts, either great or noble,
SCENE I.-A landscape.
Of the poor farmer.
Over. 'Twas for these good ends
I made him a justice. He, that bribes his belly, Orer. He's gone, I warrant thee; this com- Is certain to command his soul. mission crushed him.
Mar. I wonder Mar. Your worship has the way on't, and (Still with your licence) why, your worship hane'er miss
ving To squeeze these unthrifts into air; and yet The power to put this thin gut in commission, The chap-fallen justice did his part, returning You are not in't yourself. For your advantage the certificate,
Over. Thou art a fool; Against his conscience and his knowledge, too ; In being out of office, I am out of danger; With your good favour) to the utter ruin Where, if I were a justice, besides the trouble, Vol. II.
I might, or out of wilfulness or error,
And have been since with all your friends and Run myself finely into a premunire,
tenants, And so become a prey to the informer.
And, on the forfeit of your favour, charged No, I'll have none of it; 'tis enough I keep
them, Greedy at my devotion: so he serve
Though a crust of mouldy bread would keep him My purposes, let him hang, or damn, I care from starving, pot;
Yet they should not relieve him. This is done, Friendship is but a word. Mar. You are all wisdom.
Over. That was something, Marrall; but thou Over. I would be worldly wise; for the other must go farther; wisdom,
And suddenly, Marrall.
Over. I would have thee seek him out; and, I value not an atom.
if thou canst, Mar. What course take you,
Persuade him, that 'tis better steal than beg: (With your good patience) to hedge in the ma- Then, if I prove he has but robbed a hen-roost,
Not all the world shall save him from the galOf your good neighbour, Mr Frugal? As 'tis lows. said,
Do any thing to work him to despair,
Mar. I will do my best, sir.
Over. I am now on my main work, with the Is a foul blemish.
lord Lovell; Over I have thought on't, Marrall;
The gallant-minded, popular lord Lovell, And it shall take. I must have all men sellers, The minion of the people's love. I hear And I the only purchaser.
He's come into the country; and my aims are, Mar. 'Tis most fit, sir.
To insinuate myself into his knowledge, Over. I'll therefore buy some cottage near his And then invite him to my house. manor;
Mar. I have you. Which done, I'll make my men break ope his This points at my young mistress. fences,
Over. She must part with Ride o'er his standing corn, and in the night That humble title, and write honourable ; Set fire to his barns, or break his cattle's legs. Right honourable, Marrall; my right honourable These trespasses draw on suits, and suits ex- daughter; pences ;
If all I have, or e'er shall get, will do it. Which I can spare, but will soon beggar him. I will have her well attended; there are ladies When I have harried him thus two or three Of errant knights decayed, and brought so low, years,
That, for cast clothes, and meat, will gladly serve Thongh'he sue forma pauperis, in spite
her; Of all his thritt and care, he'll grow behind. And 'tis my glory, though I came from the city, hand,
To have their issue, whom I have undone, Dlar. The best I ever heard; I could adore | To kneel to mine, as bond slaves. you.
Mar. 'Tis fit state, sir. Over. Then, with the favour of my man of Over. And therefore, I'll not have a chamberlaw,
maid I will pretend some title; want will force him That ties her shoes, or any meaner office, To put it to arbitrement; then, if he sell But such whose fathers were right worshipful. For balf the value, he shall have ready money, 'Tis a rich man's pride! there having ever been And I possess the land.
More than a feud, a strange antipathy
Between us and true gentry.
Níur. See, who's here, sir!
Well. Call me what you will; I am your neWith my close cheat put upon him. Will nor
phew, sir. cold
Over. Avoid my sight, thy breath's infectious, Nor hunger kill him?
rogue ! Mar. I know not what to think on't.
I shun thee as a leprosy, or the plague. I have used all means; and the last night I Come leither, Marrall; this is the time to work caused
him. His host, the tapster, to turn him out of duors;