The British Drama: Comedies. 2 v

SCENE II-A hall in Lady ALLWORTH'S

House.

Enter OVERREACH, GREEDY, Order, Amble, FURNACE, and MARRALL,

Greedy. Not to be seen?

Over. Still cloistered up? her reason,

I hope, assures her, though she makes herself Close prisoner ever for her husband's loss "Twill not recover him.

Order. Sir, it is her will;

Which we, that are her servants, ought to serve, And not dispute. However, you are nobly wel

come :

And, if you please to stay, that you may think so,
There came, not six days since, from Hull, a pipe
Of rich canary; which shall spend itself
For my lady's honour.

Greedy. Is it of the right race?
Order. Yes, Mr Greedy.

Amble. How his mouth runs over!

Furn. I'll make it run and run. Save your good worship!

Greedy. Honest Mr Cook, thy hand; again! How I love thee!

Are the good dishes still in being? speak, boy. Furn. If you have a mind to feed, there is a chine

Of beef well seasoned.

Greedy. Good.

Furn. A pheasant, larded.

Greedy. That I might now give thanks for it! Furn. Other kick-shaws.

Besides, there came last night, from the forest of Sherwood,

The fattest stag I ever cooked.

Greedy. A stag, man?

Furn. A stag, sir; part of it is prepared for dinner,

And baked in puff-paste.

Greedy. Puff-paste, too, Sir Giles!

A ponderous chine of beef! a pheasant larded! And red deer, too, Sir Giles, and baked in puffpaste!

All business set aside, let us give thanks here.
Over. You know we cannot.

Mar. Your worships are to sit on a commission,

And if you fail to come, you lose the cause. Greedy. Cause me no causes; I'll prove it, for such a dinner,

We may put off a commission; you shall find it Henrici decimo quarto.

Over. Fie, Mr Greedy!

Will you lose me a thousand pounds for a dinner?

No more, for shame! We must forget the belly, When we think of profit.

Greedy. Well, you shall o'er-rule me.

I could even cry now. Do you hear me, Mr

Cook?

Send but a corner of that immortal pasty;

And I, in thankfulness, will, by your boy,
Send you a brace of three-pences.
Furn. Will you be so prodigal?
Over. Remember me to your lady.

Enter WELLBOrn.

Who have we here?

Well. Don't you know me?

Over. I did once, but now I will not; Thou art no blood of mine. Avaunt, thou beggar!

If ever thou presume to own me more,
I'll have thee caged and whipped.
Greedy. I'll grant the warrant.

I do love thee, Furnace,

E'en as I do malmsey in a morning.
Think of pye-corner, Furnace!

[Exeunt OVERREACH, GREEDY, and MARRAL. Amble. Will you out, sir?

I wonder how you durst creep in.
Order. This is rudeness
And saucy impudence.

Amble. Cannot you stay

To be served among your fellows from the basket,

But you must press into the hall?

Furn. Prithee, vanish

As may become the true friend of 'your hus-So winning a behaviour, not to be

band;

Though sworn, that it can ever find belief;
That I, who to the best men of this country
Denied my presence since my husband's death,
Can fall so low as to change words with thee?
Well. Scorn me not, good lady;
But as, in form, you are angelical,
Imitate the heavenly natures, and vouchsafe
At least a while to hear me. You will grant,
The blood, that runs in this arm, is as noble
As that which fills your veins. Your swelling
titles,

Equipage, and fortune; your mens' observance,
And women's flattery, are in you no virtues;
Nor these rags, with my poverty, in me vices.
You have a fair fame, and, I know, deserve it;
Yet, lady, I must say, in nothing more,
Than in the pious sorrow you have shewn
For your late noble husband.

Order. How she starts!

Well. That husband, madam, was once, in his fortune,

Almost as low as I. Want, debts, and quarrels,
Lay heavy on him: let it not be thought
A boast in me, though I say, I relieved him.
Twas I, that gave him fashion; mine, the sword
That did, on all occasions, second his;
I brought him on and off, with honour, lady :
And, when in all men's judgments, he was
sunk,

And in his own hopes not to be buoyed up,
I stepped unto him, took him by the hand,
And brought him to the shore.

Furn. Are not we base rogues,
That could forget this?

Well. I confess, you made him

Master of your estate; nor could your friends, Though he brought no wealth with him, blame you for it:

For he had a shape, and to that shape a mind,
Made up of all parts, either great or noble,

SCENE I-A landscape.

Enter OVERREACH and MARRALL.

Resisted, madam.

Lady. 'Tis most true, he had.

Well. For his sake, then, in that I was his friend,

lady,

Who can, at once, so kindly meet my purposes,
And brave the flouts of censure, to redeem
Her husband's friend! When by this honest plot
The world believes she means to heal my wants
With her extensive wealth, each noisy creditor
Will be struck mute, and I be left, at large,
To practise on my uncle Overreach ;
Whose foul, rapacious spirit, (on the hearing
Of my encouragement from this rich lady)
Again will court me to his house of patronage.
Here, I may work the measure to redeem
My mortgaged fortune, which he stripped me of,
When youth and dissipation quelled my reason.
The fancy pleases-if the plot succeed,
'Tis a new way to pay old debts, indeed.

АСТ II.

Of the poor farmer.

Over. 'Twas for these good ends

[Exit.

I made him a justice. He, that bribes his belly, Is certain to command his soul,

Mar, I wonder

(Still with your licence) why, your worship having

The
power to put this thin gut in commission,
You are not in't yourself.

Over. Thou art a fool;

In being out of office, I am out of danger;

Where, if I were a justice, besides the trouble,

Over. I'll therefore buy some cottage near his

manor;

Which done, I'll make my men break ope his
fences,

Ride o'er his standing corn, and in the night
Set fire to his barns, or break his cattle's legs.
These trespasses draw on suits, and suits ex-

pences;

Which I can spare, but will soon beggar him. When I have harried him thus two or three years,

Though he sue forma pauperis, in spite

Of all his thrift and care, he'll grow behindhand.

any thing to work him to despair, And 'tis thy master-piece.

Mar. I will do my best, sir.

Over. I am now on my main work, with the
lord Lovell;

The gallant-minded, popular lord Lovell,
The minion of the people's love. I hear
He's come into the country; and my aims are,
To insinuate myself into his knowledge,
And then invite him to my house.

Mar. I have you.

This points at my young mistress.
Over. She must part with

That humble title, and write honourable;
Right honourable, Marrall; my right honourable
daughter;

If all I have, or e'er shall get, will do it.

I will have her well attended; there are ladies
Of errant knights decayed, and brought so low,
That, for cast clothes, and meat, will gladly serve
her;

And 'tis my glory, though I came from the city,
To have their issue, whom I have undone,

Mar. The best I ever heard; I could adore To kneel to mine, as bond slaves.

you.

Over. Then, with the favour of my man of
law,

I will pretend some title; want will force him
To put it to arbitrement; then, if he sell
For half the value, he shall have ready money,
And I possess the land.

Mar. 'Tis above wonder.

Wellborn was apt to sell, and needed not
These fine arts, sir, to hook him in.

Over. Well thought on.

This varlet, Wellborn, lives too long to upbraid

With my close cheat put upon him. Will nor cold

Nor hunger kill him?

Mar. I know not what to think on't.

I have used all means; and the last night I caused

His host, the tapster, to turn him out of doors;

Mar. Tis fit state, sir.

Over. And therefore, I'll not have a chamber-
maid

That ties her shoes, or any meaner office,
But such whose fathers were right worshipful.
'Tis a rich man's pride! there having ever been
More than a feud, a strange antipathy
Between us and true gentry.

Well. I thank you.

Mar. Will you stay till you die in a ditch? Or, if you dare not do the fate yourself,

But that you'll put the state to charge and trouble,

Is there no purse to be cut? house to be broken?

Or market-woman with eggs that you may murder,

And so dispatch the business?

Well. Here's variety,

I must confess; but I'll accept of none
Of all your gentle offers, I assure you.

Mar. Why, have you hope ever to eat again? Or drink? or be the master of three farthings? If you like not hanging, drown yourself; take

Furn. I know my cue, ne'er doubt me. [Exit.

Enter MARRALL and WELLBORN.

Order. Most welcome;

You were long since expected.

Well. Say so much

To my friend, I pray you.

Order. For your sake I will, sir.
Mar. For his sake!

Well. Mum; this is nothing.

Mar. More than ever

[Exit.

I would have believed, though I had found it in my primmer.

Allw. When I have given you reasons for my

late harshness,

You'll pardon and excuse me: for, believe me,
Though now I part abruptly in my service,
I will deserve it.

Mar. Service! with a vengeance!
Well. I am satisfied; farewell, Tom!
Allw. All joy stay with you.

[Exit ALLWORTH,

Mar. To kiss her foot, is, to poor me, a favour
I am unworthy of [Offers to kiss her foot.

Lady. Nay, pray you, rise;
And, since you are so humble, I'll exalt you;

Or sure these men are mad, to worship a dung-You shall dine with me to-day, at mine own ta

Order. This place becomes you not;
Pray you, walk, sir, to the dining-room.
Well. I am well here,

Till her ladyship quits her chamber.
Mar. Well, here, say you?

'Tis a rare change! but yesterday you thought
Yourself well in a barn, wrapped up in pease

straw.

Order. Sir, my lady.

Enter Lady.

[Exit ORDER.

The roasting of his heart, that cheated him,
And forces the poor gentleman to these shifts.
By fire! (for cooks are Persians, and swear by it)
Of all the griping and extorting tyrants

I ever heard or read of, I never met
A match to sir Giles Overreach.
Order. What will you take

To tell him so, fellow Furnace?
Furn. Just as much

As my throat is worth; for that would be the
price on't.

To have a usurer that starves himself,

And wears a cloak of one and twenty years
On a suit of fourteen groats, bought of the hang-

man,

To grow rich, is too common:

But this sir Giles feeds high, keeps many ser-
vants,

Who must, at his command, do any outrage;
Rich in his habit; vast in his expences;

Lady. I come to meet you, and languished till Yet he to admiration still increases

I saw you.

This first kiss for form; I allow a second,

As token of my friendship.

Well. I am wholly yours; yet, madam, if you please

To grace this gentleman with a salute

Mar. Salute me at his bidding!

Well. I shall receive it

As a most high favour.

In wealth and lordships.

Order. He frights men out of their estates, And breaks through all law-nets, made to curb

ill men,

As they were cobwebs. No man dares reprove

him.

Such a spirit to dare, and power to do, were

never

Lodged so unluckily.

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