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it will be as fresh next day, too, as it was the first as you have, I would make myself the happiest hour it entertained us.
wife in the world, by being as sober as he. Lady Grace. Certainly that must be vastly Lady Town. Oh, you wicked thing! how car
you teaze one at this rate, when you know he is Lady Town. Oh, there's no life like it! Why, so very sober, that (except giving me money) there t'other day, for example, when you dined abroad, is not one thing in the world he can do to please my lord and I, after a pretty cheerful tête à tête me? And I, at the same time, partly by nature, meal, sat us down by the fire-side in an easy, in- and partly, perhaps, by keeping the best company, dolent, pick-tooth way, for about a quarter of an do, with my soul, love almost every thing he hour, as if we had not thought of any other's bates. I dote upon assemblies; my heart bounds being in the room-At last, stretching himself, at a ball; and at an opera-I expire. Then I and yawning—My dear-says he -you love play to distraction; cards enchant me—and came home very late last night-Twas but just dice put me out of my little wits-Dear, dear turned of two, says I–I was in bed-aw-by hazard !—Oh, what a flow of spirits it gives one! eleven, says he-So you are every night, says 1–1-Do you never play at hazard, child Well, says he, I am amazed you can sit up so Lady Grace. Oh, never! I don't think it sits late-How can you be amazed, says I, at a thing well upon women; there's something so mascuthat happens so often ?-Upon which we entered line, so much the air of a rake in it. You see into a conversation—and though this is a point how it makes the men swear and curse; and has entertained us above fifty times already, we
when a woman is thrown into the same passionalways find so many pretty new things to say whyupon it, that I believe in my soul it will last as Ludy Town. That's very true; one is a little long as we live.
put to it, sometimes, not to make use of the same Lady Grace. But pray, in such sort of family words to express it. dialogues, (though extremely well for passing the Lady Grace. Well-and, upon ill luck, pray time) don't there, now and then, enter some little what words are you really forced to make use witty sort of bitterness?
of Lady Town. Oh, yes! which does not do amiss Lady Town. Why, upon a very hard case, inat all. A smart repartee, with a zest of recrimi- deed, when a sad wrong word' is rising, just nation at the head of it, makes the prettiest to one's tongue's end, I give a great gulp-and sherbet. Ay, ay, if we did not mix a little of the swallow it. acid with it, a matrimonial society would be so Lady Grace. Well; and is not that enough to luscious, that nothing but an old liquorish prude make you forswear play as long as you live? would be able to bear it.
Lady Town. Oh, yes: I have forsworn it. Lady Grace. Well-certainly you have the Lady Grace. Seriously? most elegant taste
Lady Town, Solemnly! a thousand times; Lady Town. Though, to tell you the truth, my but then one is constantly forsworn, dear, I rather think we squeezed a little too much Lady Grace. And how can you answer that? lemon into it this bout! for it grew so sour at Lady Town. My dear, what we say, when we last, that I think I almost told him he was a are losers, we look upon to be no more binding fool—and he, again-talked something oddly of-than a lover's oath, or a great man's promise. turning me out of doors.
But I beg pardon, child; I should not lead you Lady Grace. Oh, have a care of that! so far into the world; you are a prude, and de
Lady Town. Nay, if he should, I may thank sign to live soberly. my own wise father for that
Lady Grace. Why, I confess, my nature and Lady Grace. How so?
my education do, in a good degree, incline me Lady Town. Why—when my good lord first that way. opened his honourable trenches before me, my Lady Town. Well, how a woman of spirit (for unaccountable papa, in whose hands I then was, you don't want that, child) can dream of living gave me up at discretion.
soberly, is to me inconceivable; for you will marLady Grace. How do you mean?
ry, I suppose ? Lady Town. He said, the wives of this age Lady Grace. I can't tell but I may. were come to that pass, that he would not desire Lady Town. And won't you live in town? even his own daughter should be trusted with Lady Grace. Half the year, I should like it pin-money; so that, my whole train of separate very well. inclinations are left entirely at the mercy of a Lady Town. My stars! and you would really husband's odd humours.
live in London half the year, to be sober in it? Lady Grace. Why, that, indeed, is enough to Lady Grace. Why not? make a woman of spirit look about her.
Lady Town. Why can't you as well go and be Lady Town. Nay, but to be serious, my dear; sober in the country? what would you really have a woman do, in my case? Lady Grace. So I would—t'other half year.
Lady Grace. Why—if I had a sober husband, Lady Town. And pray, what comfortable
scheme of life would you form, now, for your child, all you propose is but to endure life; now, summer and winter sober entertainments ? I want to enjoy it.
Lady Grace. A scheme that, I think, might very well content us.
Enter MRS TRUSTY. Lady Town. Oh, of all things, let's hear it! Trust. Madam, your ladyship’s chair is ready.
Lady Grace. Why, in summer, I could pass Lady Town. Have the footmen their white my leisure hours in riding, in reading, walking by Aambeaux yet? For, last night, I was poisoned. a canal, or sitting at the end of it under a great Trust. Yes, madam; there were some come in tree; in dressing, dining, chatting with an agree this morning.
[Exit Trusty. able friend; perhaps, hearing a little music, taking Lady Town. My dear, you will excuse me ; a dish of tea, or a game of cards, soberly; ma but you
time is so preciousnaging my family, looking into its accounts, play Lady Grace. That I beg I may not hinder ing with my children, if I had any, or in a thou- your least enjoyment of it. sand other innocent amusements--soberly; and Lady Town. You will call on me at lady Repossibly, by these means, I might induce my hus vel's ? band to be as sober as myself
Lady Grace. Certainly. Lady Town. Well, my dear, thou art an asto Lady Town. But I am so afraid it will break nishing creature! For sure such primitive ante into your scheme, my dear! diluvian notions of life have not beeu in any head Lady Grace. When it does, I will soberly these thousand years -Under a great tree! 0, break from you. my soul !--But I beg we may have the sober Lady Town. Why then, 'till we meet again, town-scheme too—for I am charmed with the dear sister, I wish you all tolerable happiness. country one!
[Exit LADY TOWNLY, Lady Grace. You shall, and I'll try to stick to Lady Grace. There she goes—Dash! into her my sobriety there too.
stream of pleasures ! Poor woman! she is really Lady Town. Well, though I'm sure it will give a fine creature; and sometimes infinitely agree
vapours, I must hear it, however. able; nay, take her out of the madness of this Lady Grace. Why, then, for fear of your town, rational in her notions, and easy to live fainting, madam, I will first so far come into the with: but she is so borne down by this torrent fashion, that I would never be dressed out of it of vanity in vogue, she thinks every hour of her --but still it should be soberly: for I can't think life is lost that she does not lead at the head of it any disgrace to a woman of my private for it. What it will end in, I tremble to imagine ! tune, not to wear her lace as fine as the wedding- Ha, my brother! and Manly with him? I guess suit of a first duchess. Though there is one ex- what they have been talking of I shall hear travagance I would venture to come up to. it in my turn, I suppose; but it won't become me Lady Town. Aye, now for it
to be inquisitive.
[Exit Lady GRACE. Lady Grace. I would every day be as clean as a bride.
Enter LORD TOWNLY and MANLY. Lady Town. Why, the men say, that's a great Lord Town. I did not think my lady Wrongstep to be made one -Well, now you are drest-head had such a notable brain : though I can't Pray, let's see to what purpose ?
she was so very wise, in trusting this silly Lady Grace. I would visit—that is, my real girl, you call Myrtilla, with the secret. friends; but as little for form as possible. I Mar. No, my lord, you mistake me; had the would go to court; sometimes to an assembly, girl been in the secret, perhaps I had never come nay, play at quadrillesoberly: I would see at it myself. all the good plays; and, because 'tis the fashion, Lord Town. Why, I thought you said this girl now and then an operabut I would not writ this letter to you, and that my lady Wrongexpire there, for fear I should never go again : head sent it inclosed to my sister ? and, lastly, I can't say, but for curiosity, if I liked Man. If you please to give me leave, my lord my company, I might be drawn in once to a mas -the fact is thus, This inclosed letter to lady querade; and this, I think, is as far as any wo Grace was a real original one, written by this man can go --soberly.
girl to the count we have been talking of the Lady Town. Well, if it had not been for that count drops it, and my lady Wronghead finds it : last piece of sobriety, I was just going to call for then, only changing the cover, she seals it up as some surfeit-water.
a letter of business, just written by herself, to Lady Grace. Why, don't you think, with the me : and, pretending to be in a hurry, gets this farther aid of breakfasting, dining, and taking the innocent girl to write the direction for her. air, supping, sleeping, not to say a word of devo Lord Town. Oh, then, the girl did not know tion, the four-and-twenty hours might roll over she was superscribing a billet-doux of her own to in a tolerable manner?
you? Lady Town. Tolerable! Deplorable! Why, Man. No, my lord; for when I first question,
ed her about the direction, she owned it imme- | conduct has chosen rather to descrve than ask diately; but, when I shewed her that her letter my sister's favour, I have been as secretly industo the count was within it, and told her how it trious to make her sensible of your merit: and came into my hands, the poor creature was since, on this occasion, you have opened your amazed, and thought herself betrayed both by whole heart to me, 'tis now, with equal pleasure, I the count and my lady-In short, upon this dis- assure you, we have both succeeded — she is as covery, the girl and I grew so gracious, that she firmly yourshas let me into some transactions, in my lady Man. Impossible! you flatter me ! Wronghead's family, which, with my having a Lord Town. I'm glad you think it Aattery: but careful eye over them, may prevent the ruin of she herself shall prove it none : she dines with us it.
alone: when the servants are withdrawn, I'll open Lord Town. You are very generous, to be so a conversation, that shall excuse my leaving you licitous for a lady that has given you so much un- together-Oh, Charles ! had I, like thee, been easiness.
cautious in iny choice, what melancholy hours Man. But I will be most unmercifully reven-had this heart wided! ged of her; for I will do her the greatest friend Man. No more of that, I beg, my lordship in the world—against her will.
Lord Town. But 'twill, at least, be some reLord Town. What an uncommon philosophy lief to my anxiety, however barren of content art thou master of, to make even thy malice a the state has been to me, to see so near a friend virtue!
and sister happy in it. Your harmony of life Man. Yet, my lord, I assure you, there is no will be an instance how much the choice of temone action of my life gives me more pleasure per is preferable to beauty. than your approbation of it.
Lord Town. Dear Charles ! my heart's impa- While your soft hours in mutual kindness more, tient 'till thou art nearer to me! and, as a proof You'll reach, by virtue, what I lost by love. that I have long wished thee so, while your daily
to tell you.
SCENE I.--Mrs MOTHERLY's house. might be in the note, that I was myself an inno
cent abused woman--and, as good luck would Enter Mrs MOTHERLY, meeting MYRTILLA. have it, in less than half an hour, Mr Manly
Moth. So, niece! where is it possible you can came--so, without mincing the matter, I fairly have been these six hours?
told him upon what design the count had lodged Myr. Oh, madam! I have such a terrible story that note in your hands, and, in short, laid open
the whole scheme he had drawn us into, to make Moth. A story! Ods my life! What have you our fortune. done with the count's note of five hundred pounds, Moth. The devil you did ! I sent you about? Is it safe? Is it good? Is it se Myr. Why, bow do you think it was possible curity?
I could any otherwise make Mr Manly my friend, Myr. Yes, yes, it is safe : but for its goodness to help me out of the scrape I was in ? To con
Mercy on us! I have been in a fair way to clude, he soon made Mr Cash easy, and sent be hanged about it!
away the constable: nay, farther, he promised Moth. The dickens! has the rogue of a count me, if I would trust the note in his hands, he played us another trick, then?
would take care it should be fully paid before it Myr. You shall hear, madam. When I came was due, and, at the same time, would give me to Mr Cash, the banker's, and shewed him his an ample revenge upon the count; so that, all note for five hundred pounds, payable to the you have to consider now, madaın, is, whether count, or order, in two monthshe looked you think yourself safer in the count's hands, or earnestly upon it, and desired me to step into the Mr Manly's. inner room, while he examined his books-after Moth. Nay, nay, child; there is no choice in I had stayed about ten minutes, he came in to the matter! Mr Manly may be a friend, indeed, me-claps to the door, and charges me with a if any thing in our power can make him so. constable for forgery.
Myr. Well, madam, and now, pray, how stand Moth. Ah, poor soul ! and how didst thou get matters at home here? What has the count done off?
with the ladies? Myr. While I was ready to sink in this condi Moth. Why, every thing he has a mind to do, tion, I begged him to have a little patience, 'till by this time, I suppose. He is in high favour I could send for Mr Manly, whom he knew to with miss, as he is with my lady. be a gentlemen of worth and honour, and who, Myr. Pray, where are the ladies ? I was sure, would convince him, whatever fraud Moth. Rattling abroad in their own coach,
and the well-bred count along with them: they head off, an he could have got me. Hoh! hoh! have been scouring all the shops in town over, hoh! buying fine things and new clothes from morning Myr. Well, master, when you and I go abroad, to night: they have made one voyage already, I'll shew you prettier sights than these-there's and have brought home such a cargo of bawbles a masquerade to-morrow, and trumpery-Mercy on the poor man that's to Squire Rich. Oh, laud, ay ! they say that's a pay for them!
pure thing for Merry Andrews, and those sort of Myr. Did not the young 'squire go with them? comical mummers—and the count tells me, that
Moth. No, no; miss said, truly he would but there lads and lasses may jig their tails, and eat, disgrace their party : so they even left him asleep and drink, without grudging, all night lung. by the kitchen fire.
Myr. What would you say now, if I should Myr. Has not he asked after me all this while? get you a ticket, and go along with you? for I had a sort of an assignation with bim. Squire Rich. Ah, dear!
Moth. Ob, yes; he has been in a bitter taking Myr. But have a care, 'squire; the fine ladies about it. At last, his disappointment grew so there are terribly tempting ; look well to your uneasy, that he fairly fell a crying; so, to quiet heart, or, ads me! they'll whip it up in the trip him, I sent one of the maids and John Moody of a minute. abroad with him, to shew him the lions, and the Squire Rich. Ay, but they cawnt thoa—sba monument. Ods me! there he is just come let ’um look to themselves, an' ony of 'um falls home again—You may have business with him- in love with me-mayhap they had as good be so I'll even turn you together. (E.cit Moth. quiet.
Myr. Why, sure you would not refuse a fine Enter SQUIRE RICHARD.
lady, would you?
Squire Rich. Ay, but I would though, unless Squire Rich. Soah, soah, Mrs Myrtilla, where it were—one as I know of. han yaw been aw this day, forsooth?
Myr. Oh, oh! then you have left Myr. Nay, if you go to that, 'squire, where in the country, I find! have you been, pray?
Squire Rich. Noa, noa, my heart-eh-my heart Squire Rich. Why, when I fun' at yow were no e'at awt o' this room. loikly to come whoam, I were ready to hong my Myr. I am glad you have it about you, howsel -so John Moody, and I, and one o' your ever. lasses, have been Lord knows where Squire Rich. Nay, mayhap not soa, noather ; seeing o' the soights.
somebody else may have it, 'at you little think Myr. Well, and pray what have you seen, sir? of.
Squire Rich. Flesh! I cawnt tell, not I-seen Myr. I can't imagine what you mean ! every thing, I think. First, there we went o' top Squire Rich. Noa! why doan't you know how o' the what-d'ye-call-it ? there, the great huge many folks there is in this room, naw? stone post, up the rawnd and rawnd stairs, that Myr. Very fine, master; I see you have learnt twine and twine about just an as thof it was a the town gallantry already. cork-screw.
Squire Rich. Why, doan't you believe 'at I Myr. Oh, the monument; well, and was it have a kindness for you, then? not a fine sight from the top of it?
Myr. Fy, fy, master, how you talk ! beside, Squire Rich. Sight, miss! I know no'-I saw you are too young to think of a wife. nought but smoak and brick housen, and steeple Squire Rich. Ay! but I caunt help thinking tops -then there was such a mortal ting-o'you, for all that. tang of bells, and rumbling of carts and coaches; Myr. How! why sure, sir, you don't pretend and then the folks under one looked so small
, to think of me in a dishonourable way? and made such a hum, and a buz, it put me in Squire Rich. Nay, that's as you see good-I mind of my mother's great glass bee-hive in our did no' think 'at you would ha' thowght of me for garden in the country.
a husband, mayhap; unless I had means in my Myr. I think, master, you give a very good own hands; and feyther allows me but baulf a account of it.
crown a-week, as yet awhile. Squire Rich. Ay; but I did not like it: for my Myr. Oh, when I like any body, 'tis not want head-my bead-began to turn—so, I trundled of money will make me refuse them. me down stairs agen, like a round trencher. Squire Rich. Well, that's just my mind now;
Myr. Well, but this was not all yod saw, Ifor an I like a girl, miss, I would take her in her suppose?
smock. Squire Rich. Noa, noa; we went, after that, Myr. Ay, master, now you speak like a man and saw the lions, and I liked them better by of honour; this shews something of a true heart hawlf; they are pure grim devils; hoh, hoh! Í in you. touke a stick, and gave oue of them such a poke Squire Rich. Ay, and a true heart you'll find o'the noase-I believe he would ha' snapt my me, try when you will. VOL. II.
Myr. Hush, hush, here's your papa come home,
Moth. It shall be done in a moment, sir. and iny aunt with him.
[Exit MOTHERLY. Squire Rich. A devil rive 'em! what do they
Enter ManLY. come naw for?
Myr. When you and I get to the masquerade, Man. Sir Francis, your servant. you shall see what I'll say to you.
Sir Fran. Cousin Manly! Squire Rich. Well, hands upon't, then
Man. I am come to see how the family goes Myr. There
Squire Rich. One buss, and a bargain. (Kisses Sir Fran. Troth! all as husy as bees. I have her.) Ads wauntlikins ! as soft and plump as a been upon the wing ever since eight o'clock this marrow-pudding
[Ereunt severally morning!
Mun. By your early hour, then, I suppose you Enter Sir Francis WRONGhead, and Mrs
have been making your court to some of the MOTHERLY,
great men. Sir Fran. What! my wife and daughter abroad, Sir Frun. Why, faith! you have hit it, sirsay you?
I was advised to lose no time : so I went een Ploth. Oh, dear sir, they have been mighty straight forward to one great man I had never busy all the day long; they just came home to seen in my life before. snap up a short dinner, and so went out again. Mun. Right! that was doing business : but
Sir Fran. Well, well; I shan't stay supper for who had you got to introduce you ? them, I can tell them that : for, ods-heart, I have Sir Frin. Why, nobody- I remember I had nothing in me but a tvast and tankard since heard a wise man say-My son, be bold-50, morning.
troth, I introduced myself! Moth. I am afraid, sir, these late parliament llan. As how, pray ? hours won't agree
Sir Fran. Why, thus--Look ye -Please Sir Fran. Why, truly, Mrs Motherly, they your lordship, says I, I am sir Francis Wrongdon't do right with us country gentlemen ; to lose head, of Bumper-hall, and member of parliament one meal out of three, is a hard tax upon a good for the borough of Guzzledown Sir, your Stomach.
humble servant, says my lord; thof I have not the Moth. It is so, indeed, sir.
honour to know your person, I have heard you Sir Fran. But howsomever, Mrs Motherly, are a very honest gentleman, and I am glad your when we consider, that what we suffer is for the borough has made choice of so worthy a repregood of our country
sentative; and so, says he, Sir Francis, have you Moth. Why, trulv, sir, that is something. any service to command me? Naw, cousin,
Sir Fran. Oh, there's a great deal to be said those last words, you may be sure, gave me no for't--the good of one's country is above all small encouragement. And thot I know, sir, things—A true-hearted Englishman thinks no- you have no extraordinary opinion of my parts
, thing too much for it-I have heard of some ho- yet, I believe, you won't say I mist it naw! nest gentlemen so very zealous, that, for the good Man. Well, I hope I shall have no cause. of their country--they would sometimes go to Sir Fran. So, when I found him so courteous dinner at midnight.
--My lord, says I, I did not think to ha' trouMoth. Ok, that goodness of them ! sure their bled your lordship with business upon my first country must have a vast esteem for them! visit; but, since your lordship is pleased not to
Sir Fran. So they have, Mrs Motherly; they stand upon ceremony,-why truly, says I, I think are so respected when they come home to their naw is as good as another time. boroughs after a session, and so beloved--that Man. Right! there you pushed him home. their country will come and dine with them every Sir Fran. Ay, ay; I had a mind to let him day in the week.
see that I was none of your mealy-mouthed Moth. Dear me! What a fine thing 'tis to be ones. so populous !
Man. Very good. Sir Fran. It is a great comfort, indeed! and, Sir Fran. So, in short, my lord, says I, I bare I can assure you, you are a good sensible woman, a good estate ---but--a-it's a little awt at elMrs Motherly.
bows : and, as I desire to serve my king, as well Moth. Oh, dear sir, your honour's pleased to as my country, I shall be very willing to accept compliment !
of a place at court. Sir Fran. No, no; I see you know how to va Man. So, this was making short work on't. lue people of consequence.
Sir Frun. I'cod! I shot him flying, cousin! Moth. Good lack! here's company, sir. Will some of your hawt-witted ones, naw, would ba' you give me leave to get you a little something hummed and hawed, and dangled a month or till Ilie ladies come home, sir?
two after him, before they durst open their Sir Fran. Why, troth, I don't think it would mouths about a place, and, mayhap, not ha' got be amiss.
it at last neither.