Man. Oh, I'm glad you're so sure on't

Sir Fran. You shall hear, cousin-Sir Francis, says my lord, pray what sort of a place may you ha' turned your thoughts upon? My lord, says I, beggars must not be chusers; but ony place, says I, about a thousand a-year, will be well enough to be doing with, till something better falls infor I thowght it would not look well to stond haggling with him at first.

Man. No, no; your business was to get footing any way:

Sir Fran. Right! there's it! Ay, cousin, I see you know the world.

Man. Yes, yes; one sees more of it every -Well, but what said my lord to all

daythis?

Sir Fran. Sir Francis, says he, I shall be glad to serve you any way that lies in my power; so he gave me a squeeze by the hand, as much as to say, give yourself no trouble-I'll do your business. With that he turned him abawt to somebody with a coloured ribbon across here, that looked in my thoughts, as if he came for a place, too.

Man. Ha! ha! so, upon these hopes, you are to make your fortune!

Sir Fran. Why! do you think there's any doubt of it, sir?

Man. Oh, no; I have not the least doubt about it—for, just as you have done, I made my fortune ten years ago.

Sir Fran. Why, I never knew you had a place, cousin!

I

Man. Nor I, neither, upon my faith, cousin. But you, perhaps, may have better fortune: for suppose my lord has heard of what importance you were in the debate to-day--You have been since down at the house, I presume?

Sir Fran. Oh, yes! I would not neglect the house for ever so much.

Man. Well, and pray what have they done there?

Sir Fran. Why, troth, I can't well tell you what they have done; but I can tell you what I did: and I think pretty well in the main; only I happened to make a little mistake at last, indeed.

Man. How was that?

Sir Fran. Why, they were all got there into a sort of a puzzling debate about the good of the nation-and I were always for that, you knowbut, in short, the arguments were so long-winded on both sides, that, waunds! I did not well understand 'um: hawsomever, I was convinced, and so resolved to vote right, according to my conscience-so, when they came to put the question, as they call it,-I don't know haw 'twas-but I doubt I cried Ay! when I should ha' cried No! Man. How came that about?

Sir Fran. Why, by a mistake, as I tell you— for there was a good-humoured sort of a gentleman, one Mr Totherside, I think they call him, that

sat next me, as soon as I had cried Ay, gives me a hearty shake by the hand. Sir, says he, you are a man of honour, and a true Englishman! and I should be proud to be better acquainted with you-and so, with that, he takes me by the sleeve along with the crowd into the lobby-so, I knew nowght-but, ods flesh! I was got o' the wrung side the post, for I were told afterwards I should have staid where I was.

Man. And so, if you had not quite made your fortune before, you have clinched it now!-Ah thou head of the Wrongheads! [Aside.

Sir Fran. Odso! here's my lady come home at last-I hope, cousin, you will be so kind as to take a family supper with us?

Man. Another time, Sir Francis; but to-night I am engaged.

Enter LADY WRONGHEAD, MISS JENNY, and COUNT BASSET.

Lady Wrong. Cousin, your servant; I hope you will pardon my rudeness; but we have really been in such a continual hurry here, that we have not had a leisure moment to return your last visit.

Man. Oh, madam, I am a man of no ceremony; you see that has not hindered my coming again.

Lady Wrong. You are infinitely obliging; but I'll redeem my credit with you.

Man. At your own time, madam.

Count Bus. I must say that for Mr Manly, madam, if making people easy is the rule of good-breeding, he is certainly the best-bred man in the world."

Man. Soh! I am not to drop my acquaintance, I find-[Aside.] I am afraid, sir, I shall grow vain upon your good opinion.

Count Bas. I don't know that, sir; but I am sure what you are pleased to say makes me so. Man. The most impudent modesty that ever I met with!

[Aside.

Lady Wrong. Lard! how ready his wit is!

Sir Fran. Don't you think, sir, the count's a very fine gentleman ?

Man. Oh, among the ladies, certainly.

[Aside.

[Apart.

[Apart.

[Apart.

Sir Fran. And yet he's as stout as a lion. Waund, he'll storm any thing!

Man. Will he so? why, then, sir, take care of your citadel, [Apart.

Sir Fran. Ah, you are a wag, cousin! [Apart. Man. I hope, ladies, the town air continues to agree with you?

Jenny. Oh, perfectly well, sir! We have been abroad in our new coach all day long-and we have bought an ocean of fine things. And tomorrow we go to the masquerade; and on Friday to the play; and on Saturday to the opera; and on Sunday we are to be at the what-d'ye-call-it -assembly, and see the ladies play at quad

Mrs Strict. Let him explain the rest. Ran. A frolic, a mere frolic, on my life! Strict. A frolic! Zounds! [They interpose. Ran. Nay, don't let us quarrel the very moment you declared yourself my friend. There was no harm done, I promise you. Nay, never frown. After I have told my story, any satisfaction you are pleased to ask, I shall be ready to give.

Strict. Be quick, then, and ease me of my pain.

Ran. Why, then, as I was strolling about last night upon the look-out, I must confess, chance, and chance only, conveyed me to your house; where I espied a ladder of ropes most invitingly fastened to the window

Jac. Which ladder I had fastened for my

escape.

Strict. Proceed.

Ran. Up mounted I, and up I should have gone, if it had been into the garret; it's all one to Ranger. I opened one door, then another, and, to my great surprise, the whole house was silent; at last, I stole into a room where this lady was undressing

Strict. 'Sdeath and the devil! You did not dare, sure

Ran. I don't know whether I had dared, or no, if I had not heard the maid say something of her master's being jealous. Oh, damu me, thought I, then the work is half done to my hands!

Jac. Do you mind that, Mr Strictland? Strict. I do-I do, most feelingly. Ran. The maid grew saucy, and, most conveniently to my wishes, was turned out of the room; and, if you had not the best wife in the

world

Strict. 'Ounds, sir! But what right have you

Ran. What right, sir? If you will be jealous of your wife without a cause; if you will be out at that time of night, when you might have been so much better employed at home; we, young fellows, think we have a right

Strict. No joking, I beseech you; you know not what I feel.

Run. Then, seriously, I was mad, or drunk enough, call it what you will, to be very rude to this lady, for which I ask both her pardon and vours. I am an odd sort of a fellow, perhaps; but I am above telling you, or any man, a lie, damn me, if I am not!

Strict. I must, I cannot but believe you; and for the future, madam, you shall find a heart ready to love, and trust you. No tears, I beg; I cannot bear them.

Mrs Strict. I cannot speak; and yet there is a favour, sir

Strict. I understand you; and, as proof of the sincerity with which I speak, I beg it as a favour, of this lady in particular,-[TO CLARINDA] -and of all the company in general, to return to my house immediately, where every thing, Mr Bellamy, shall be settled to your entire satisfaction. No thanks; I have not deserved them.

J. Meg. I beg your pardon, sir; the fiddles are ready; Mrs Bellamy has promised me her hand, and I won't part with one of you till midnight; and, if you are as well satisfied as you pretend to be, let our friend Rattle, here, begin the ball with Mrs Strictland; for he seems to be the hero of the day.

Strict. As you and the company please.

Ran. Why, this is honest; continue but in this humour, and faith, sir, you may trust me to run about your house like a spaniel. I cannot suffi ciently admire at the whimsicalness of my good fortune, in being so instrumental to this general happiness. Bellamy, Frankly, I wish you joy, with all my heart-though I had rather you should be married than I, for all that Never did marimony appear to me with a smile upon her face, ill this instant.

Sure joys for ever wait each happy pair, When sense the man, and virtue crowns the

fair,

And kind compliance proves their mutual care. [A dance. Ereunt omnes.

Sir Fran. No, by my troth, so it seems! for the devil o' one thing's here, that I can see you have any occasion for.

Lady Wrong. My dear, do you think I came hither to live out of the fashion? Why, the greatest distinction of a fine lady, in this town, is in the variety of pretty things that she has no occasion for.

Jenny. Sure, papa, could you imagine that women of quality wanted nothing but stays and petticoats?

Lady Wrong. Now, that is so like him! Man. So, the family comes on finely. [Aside. Lady Wrong. Lard, if men were always to govern, what dowdies they would reduce their wives to!

Sir Fran. An hundred pound in the morning, and want another afore night! Waunds and fire! The lord mayor of London could not hold at this rate!

Enter MRS MOTHERLY.

Oh, Mrs Motherly! You were saying this morning you had some very fine lace to shew meCannot I see it now?"

[SIR FRANCIS stares. Moth. Why, really, madam, I had made a sort of a promise to let the countess of Nicely have the birth sight of it for the first day: but your ladyship

Lady Wrong. Oh! I die if I don't see it before her!

Squire Rich. Woan't you go, feyther? [Apart. Sir Fran. Waunds, lad! I shall ha' noa stomach at this rate. [Apart. Moth. Well, madam, though I say it, 'tis the sweetest pattern that ever came over-and for fineness-no cobweb comes up to it!

Sir Fran. Ods guts and gizzard, madam! Lace as fine as a cobweb! Why, what the devil's that to cost, now?

Moth. Nay, if sir Francis does not like it, ma

self.

Sir Fran. Compose the devil, madam! Why, do you consider what a hundred pound a-day comes to in a year?

Lady Wrong. My life! if I account with you from one day to another, that's really all my head is able to bear at a time-But I'll tell you what, I consider-I consider that my advice has got you a thousand pound a-year this morningThat, now, methinks, you might consider, sir.

Sir Fran. A thousand a-year! Waunds, madam, but I have not touched a penny of it yet. Man. Nor ever will, I'll answer for him.

Enter SQUIRE RICHARD.

[Aside.

Squire Rich. Feyther, an you doan't come quickly, the meat will be cooled: and I'd fain pick a bit with you.

Lady Wrong. Bless me, sir Francis! You are not going to sup by yourself?

Sir Fran. No, but I'm going to dine by myself, and that's pretty near the matter, madam.

Lady Wrong. Had not you as good stay a little, my dear? We shall all eat in half an hour; and I was thinking to ask my cousin Manly to take a family morsel with us.

Sir Fran. Nay, for my cousin's good company, I don't care if I ride a day's journey without baiting.

Man. By no means, sir Francis. I am going upon a little business.

Sir Fran. Well, sir; I know you don't love compliments.

Man. You'll excuse me, madam-
Lady Wrong. Since you have business, sir-
[Exit MANLY.

Lady Wrong. He like it! Dear Mrs Motherly, he is not to wear it.

Sir Fran. Flesh, madam! But I suppose I am to pay for it?

Lady Wrong. No doubt on't! Think of your thousand a-year, and who got it you; go! eat your dinner, and be thankful, go!-[Driving him to the door.]-Come, Mrs Motherly.

[Exit LADY WRONGHEAD with MRS MO

THERLY.

Sir Fran. Very fine! So, here I mun fast, till I am almost famished, for the good of my country, while madam is laying me out an hundred pound a-day in lace as fine as a cobweb, for the honour of my family! Ods flesh! Things had need go well at this rate!

Squire Rich. Nay, nay-Come, feyther. [Exeunt SIR FRANCIS and SQUIRE RICHARD.

Enter MRS MOTHERLY.

Moth. Madam, my lady desires you and the count will please to come and assist her fancy in some of the new laces.

Count Bas. We'll wait upon her————— [Exit MRS MOTHERLY Jenny. So, I told you how it was! You see she cannot bear to leave us together.

Count Bas. No matter, my dear: you know she has asked me to stay supper: so, when your papa and she are a-bed, Mrs Myrtilla will let me into the house again; then you may steal into her chamber, and we'll have a pretty sneaker of punch together.

Myr. Ay, ay, madam; you may command me in any thing.

Jenny. Well, that will be pure!

Count Bus. But you had best go to her alone, my life: it will look better if I come after you.

SONG.

Oh, I'll have a husband! aye, marry ;
For why should I longer tarry,
For why should I longer tarry,

Than other brisk girls have done?
For if I stay till I grow grey,

They'll call me old maid, and fusty old jade ;
So I'll no longer tarry;

But I'll have a husband, aye, marry,
If money can buy me one.

My mother, she says, I'm too coming;
And still in my ears she is drumming,
And still in my ears she is drumming,

That I such vain thoughts should shun.
My sisters they cry, oh, fy! and, oh, fy!
But yet I can see, they're as coming as me;
So let me have husbands in plenty :
I'd rather have twenty times twenty,
Than die an old maid undone.

[Exit.

Count Bas. Good.

Myr. Now, the doctor purposes we should all come thither in our habits, and, when the rooms are full, we may steal up into his chamber, he says, and there-crack- -he'll give us all canonical commission to go to-bed together. Count Bas. Admirable! Well, the devil fetch me, if I shall not be heartily glad to see thee well settled, child!

Myr. And may the black gentleman tuck me under his arm at the same time, if I shall not think myself obliged to you as long as I live!

Count Bas. One kiss for old acquaintance sake-Egad, I shall want to be busy again.

Myr. Oh, you'll have one shortly will find you employment: but I must run to my 'squire. Count Bas. And I to the ladies-so your humble servant, sweet Mrs Wronghead!

Myr. Yours, as in duty bound, most noble Count Basset. [Exit MYR. Count Bas. Why, ay! count! That title has been of some use to me, indeed; not that I have any more pretence to it, than I have to a blue ribband. Yet, I have made a pretty considerable figure in life with it. I have lolled in my own chariot, dealt at assemblies, dined with ambassadors, and made one at quadrille with the first women of quality-But―tempora matantur; since that damned squadron at White's have left me out of their last secret, I am reduced to trade upon my own stock of industry, and make my last push upon a wife. If my card comes up right (which, I think, cannot fail) I shall once more cut a figure, and cock my hat in the face of the best of them: for, since our modern men of fortune are grown wise enough to be sharpers, I think sharpers are fools that don't take up the airs of men of quality.

[Exit.

Lady Grace. He has not seen her since yesterday.

Man. What! not at home all night?

Lady Grace. About five this morning, in she came; but, with such looks, and such an equipage of misfortune at her heels-What can become of her?

Man. Has not my lord seen her, say you?

Lady Grace. No; he changed his bed last night-I sat with him alone till twelve, in expectation of her: but when the clock struck, he started from his chair, and grew incensed to that degree, that, had I not, almost on my knees, dissuaded him, he had ordered the doors, that instant, to have been locked against her.

Man. How terrible is his situation, when the most justifiable severities he can use against her

are liable to the mirth of all the dissolute cardtables in town!

:

Lady Grace. 'Tis that, I know, has made him bear so long but you that feel for him, Mr Manly, will assist him to support his honour, and, if possible, preserve his quiet; therefore, I beg you, don't leave the house, till one or both of them can be wrought to better temper.

Mun. How amiable is this concern in you! Lady Grace. For Heaven's sake, don't mind me; but think on something to preserve us all!

Man. I shall not take the merit of obeying your commands, madam, to serve my lord-But, pray, madam, let me into all that has past since yesternight.

Lady Grace. When my intreaties had prevailed upon my lord, not to make a story for the town, by so public a violence, as shutting her at once out of his doors, he ordered an apartment next to my lady's to be made ready for himWhile that was doing, I tried, by all the little arts I was mistress of, to amuse him into temper; in short, a silent grief was all I could reduce him to. On this, we took our leaves, and parted to our repose: what his was, I imagine by my own; for I ne'er closed my eyes. About five, as I told you, I heard my lady at the door; so I slipped on a gown, and sat almost an hour with her in her own chamber.

Man. What said she, when she did not find my lord there?

Lady Grace. Oh! so far from being shocked, or alarmed at it, that she blessed the occasion; and said, that, in her condition, the chat of a female friend was far preferable to the best husband's company in the world.

Man. Where has she the spirits to support so n uch insensibility?

Lady Grace. Nay, 'tis incredible; for, though she had lost every thing she had in the world, and stretched her credit even to breaking, she rallied her own follies with such vivacity, and painted the penance she knows she must undergo for them in such ridiculous lights, that had not my concern for a brother been too strong for her wit, she had almost disarmed my anger.

Man. Her mind may have another cast by this time the most flagrant dispositions have their hours of anguish, which their pride conceals from company. But pray, madam, how could she avoid coming down to dine?

Lady Grace. Oh! she took care of that before she went to bed, by ordering her woman, whenever she was asked for, to say she was not well.

Man. You have seen her since she was up, I presume?

Lady Grace. Up! I question whether she be awake yet.

Man. Terrible! what a figure does she make now! That nature should throw away so much

beauty upon a creature, to make such a slatternly use of it!

Lady Grace. Oh, fy! there is not a more elegant beauty in town, when she is dressed. Man. In my eye, madam, she that's early dressed has ten times her elegance.

Lady Grace. But she won't be long now, I believe; for, I think, I see her chocolate going up-Mrs Trusty-a-hem!

MRS TRUSTY comes to the door.

Man. [Aside.] Five o'clock in the afternoon for a lady of quality's breakfast, is an elegant hour, indeed! which, to shew her more polite way of living, too, I presume she eats in her bed.

Lady Grace. [To MRS TRUSTY.] And when she is up, I would be glad she would let me come to her toilet-That's all, Mrs Trusty. Trusty. I will be sure to let her ladyship know, madam. [Exit.