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hits, and her strait-laced virtue will surrender at, know it from William ; I'll be hanged in my own last. Madam

garters, if he does not! [Bows respectfully. Erit. Mrs Love. I know not what to do. Let my Mus. As I live and breathe, madam, if I was chair be got ready. as you, I would not fluster myself about it. Mus. Your chair, madam! Are you going Mrs Love. About what !

out? Mus. What signifies mincing the matter? I Mrs Love. Let me hear no more questions : heard it all,

do as I order you.

Erit. Mrs Love. You did ? Did you?

Mus. Which way is the wind now? No mat

(Looks angrily. ter; she does not know what she'd be at. If she Mus. Madam?

would but take my advice-go abroad, visit every Mrs Love. Impertinence !-(Walks about.)- where, see the world, throw open her doors, give Oh, Mr Lovemore! To make his character pub- balls, assemblies, concerts; sing, dance, dress, lic, and render him the topic of every tea-table spend all her money, run in debt, ruin her husthroughout this town! I must avoid that.

band; there would be some sense in that: the Mus. What the deuce is here to do? An un man would stay at home, then, tu quarrel with mannerly thing, for to go for to huff me in this her. She would have enough of his company.manner!

{Aside. But no; mope, mope for ever; heigho! tease, Mrs Lode. That would only widen the breach; tease ; Muslin, step to William; where's his mas and, instead of neglect, might call forth resent-ter? When did he come home? How long has he ment, and settle, at last, into a fixed aversion ; been up? A fine life, truly! I love to be in the lawyers, parting, and separate maintenance !- fashion, for my part. Bless me, I had like to What must be done?

have forgot! Mrs Marmalet comes to my route Mus. What is she thinking of now? A sulky co-night. She might as well stay away: she is thing, not to be more familiar with such a friend nothing but mere lumber. The formal thing as I am. Did you speak to me, madam? won't play higher than shilling whist. How the

Mrs Love. It may succeed; suppose I try it? devil dues she think I can make a shilling party Muslin ?

for her? There is no such a thing now-a-days: Mus. Madam?

[Running to her. nobody plays shilling whist now, unless I was to Mrs Love. You heard sir Brilliant say that invite the trade's-people; but I shan't let myself Mr Lovemore is not acquainted with the widow? | down for Madam Marmalet, that I promise her. Mus. Lard, madam, he's as full of tricks as a

Erit. French milliner. I know he does visit there: I

ACT II.

have you

SCENE I.-An apartment at Sir BASHFUL 'ter. Her grace keeps Wednesdays at Hurricane CONSTANT's.

• House for the rest of the winter.'--Make me

thankful, here's a card from a duchess! What Enter Sir BASHFUL.

there? Sir Bash. Did not I hear a rap at the door? Side. A parcel of cards, that have been left Yes, yes, I did; I am right. The carriage is just here this morning. now driving away. Who answers there? Side Sir Bash. All these in one morning ?-(Looks board ! step hither, Sideboard. I must kuow at them.}--Why, I may as well keep an inn; who it is: my wife keeps the best company in may as well keep the coach and borses in PiccaEngland. Hold, I must be wary. Servants love dilly.—[Reads fast.}- Lady Riot, Mrs Allnight to pry into their masters' secrets.

-the duchess of Carmine - look ye there, ano

ther duchess ! - Lady Basset--lord PleurisieEnter SIDEBQARD.

the countess of Ratifie--sir Richard Lungs--lord Sir Bash. Whose carriage was that at the Laudanum--sir Charles Valerian—lady Hectick door?

-lady Mary Gabble--I cannot bear all this, Side. The duchess of Hurricane, your honour. Sideboard—[Aside, and smiling.)-1 cannot bear

Sir Bash. The duchess of Hurricane ?--Walks the pleasure of it: all people of tip-top condiaside, and smiles.]-A woman of great rank ! tion to visit my wife ! What did she want? Side. She has left this card for my lady.

Enter FURNISI. Sir Bash. A card? Let me see it.[Reads.), Sir Bash. What's the matter, Furnish? « The duchess of Hurricane presents compliments Fur. The matter, sir? Nothing's the matter. * to lady Constant. She has left the hounds and Sir Bash. What are you about? Where are • foxes, and the brutes that willo) after them, to you going? What have you to do now? • their own dear society for the rest of the win Fur. Only to tell the chairmen they must take

Black George with his flambeau with them this, had I do in parliament? My country! What's evening, and carry the chair to pay visits for my my country to me? The debts of the nation, lady.

and your gaming debts, are nothing to me. I Sir Bash. An empty chair to pay visits! what must help to pay both, must I? I can vote against polite ways people of fashion have got of being taxes, and can advertise in the gazette to secure intimate with each other !—[ Aside.)-Absurd as me from your extravagance. I have not lived in it is, I am glad to see my wife keep pace with the Temple for nothing. the best of them. I laugh at it, and yet like it. Fur. He slept there, and calls it studying the 'Zounds! I shall be found out by my servants.- law. I tell you, Sideboard, and you, Mrs Busy Body, Sir Bash. Hold you your tongue, Mrs Pert; that your mistress leads a life of noise and hur- leave the room. Go both about your business. ry, and cards and dice, and vanity and nonsense,

(Ereunt Furnish and SIDEBOARD. and I am resolved to bear it no longer. Don't I [Aside.] I have kept it up before my servants. hear her coming ?

(Looks at Lady Constant.] She is a fine woFur. My lady is coming, sir.

man, after all! Sir Bash. [Aside, and smiling.] She looks Lady Con. Is there never to be an end of this charmingly:-Now, I'll tell her roundly a piece usage, sir? Am I to be for ever made unhappy of my mind. You shall see who commands in by your humours? this house.

Sir Bash. Humours ! good sense and sound

judgment, in the fine lady's dictionary, are to be Enter Lady CONSTANT.

called humours ?

Lady Con. And your humours are now grown Sir Bash. [Steals a look.) I could almost give insupportable. up the point when I look at her.—So, madam, I Sir Bush. Your profusion is insupportable. At have had my house full of duns again to-day? the rate you go on, how am I to find money for

Lady Con. Obliging creatures, to call so often. my next election ?- If you would but talk this What did they want?

matter over coolly-She talks like an angel, and Sir Bash. Want !-what should they want but I wish I could say—[Aside.)—the saine of mymoney?

self. What will the world think ---Only comLady Con. And you paid them, I suppose ? mand your temper—what will they think, if I am Sir Bash. You suppose !

-'Sdeath, madam, seen to encourage your way of life? what do you take me for?

Lady Con. Amuse yourself that way, sir.Lady Con. I took you for a husband: my bro- Avoid one error, and run into the opposite es ther prescribed you. But his prescription has treme. done me no good.

Sir Bash. (Aside.] There; a translation from Sir Bash. Nor me either: I have had a bitter Horace! Dum vitant stulti vitia-She is a nopill of it.

table woman! Lady Con. But the pill was gilded for you. Lady Con. Let me tell you, there is not in life My fortune, I take it, has paid off the old fainily a more ridiculous sight, than the person who mortgage on your estate.

guards, with imaginary wisdom, against one giant Sir Bash. And, at the rate you go on, a new vice, and leaves himself open to a million of abmortgage will swallow up my estate.- I see you surdities. are an ungrateful woman.

Sir Bush. [Aside.] I am nothing to her in ar: Ludy Con. That is, as you keep the account. gument-she has a tongue that can reason me Sir Bush. And iny accounts will shew it. Day out of my senses.-I could almost find it in my after day, nothing but extravagance to gratify heart to tell her the whole truth.—You know, my your vanity! Did not I go into parliament to lady Constant, that when you want any thing in please you? Did not I go down to the borough of reasonSmoke-and-Sot, and get drunk there for a wbole Lady Con. Is it unreasonable to live with de month together? Did not I get mobbed at the cency? Is it unreasonable to keep the company George and Vulture? and pelted and horse-whip-iny rank and education have entitled me to? Is ped the day before the election. And was not I it unreasonable to conform to the modes of lite, obliged to steal out of the town in a rabbit-cart? | when your fortune can so well afford it? And all this to be somebody, as you call it ! Did Sir Bash. [ Aside.] She is a very reasonable not I stand up in the House to make a speech, to woman; and I wish I had but half her sense – shew what an orator you had married ? And did you know I am good-natured in the maio, and not I expose myself? Did I know whether I if a sum of money within a moderate compass-If stood upon my head or my heels for half an hour a brace of hundreds—[ Aside.] why should not I together? And did not a great man from the nake it three:- I know that you have contractTreasury-hench tell me never to speak again? ed habits of life, and (In a softened tone.) hahit,

Lady Con. And why not take his advice? I know, is not easily conquered : and if three Şir Bash. What, in the name of common sense, (Smiling.] hundred pounds will prevent disputes,

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why (Smiling.) as to the matter of three hundred Sir Bash. The authority of a husband I never pound

will give up.

Ludy Con. A storm, a whirlwind is fitter to Enter Furnish, with a band-bor.

converse with.

Sir Bash. I will storm like a whirlwind in my Fur. Your ladyship’s things from the milliner's. own house. I have done, madain : you are an

Sir Bash. Death and fury, this woman has ungovernable woman -[Aside, and smiling.) she overheard me! Three hundred pounds, madam! is a charming woman; and if nobody saw it, I [In a violent passion.] let me tell you that three would let her govern me with all niy heart. hundred pounds-what right have you to shovel

[Erit Sir Bashful. away three hundred pounds?

Lady Con. Did any body ever see such behaLudy Con. Why does the man fly out into such viour? a passion?

Fur. Never; and how your ladyship bears it, Sir Bash. I will allow no such doings in my I can't tell. house. Don't I often come when my hall is be Lady Con. That it should be my fate to be sieged with a parcel of powder-monkey servants? married to such a quicksand! What does Mrs And did not I the other day, before I could get Lovemore say? into my own doors, entangle myself among the Fur. If your ladyship will be at home, she inchairinen's poles, and was not I contined there, tends to do herself the pleasure of waiting upon like a man in the stocks?

you, madam. Ludy Con. Why would you be so awkward ? Lady Con. Very well; I shall be at home.

Sir Bash. An eternal scene of routs and drums. Upon recollection, I want to see her. Let the Have not I seen you put a fee-simple of a score

servant wait : I'll write an answer. of my best acres upon a single card? And have

[Exit Lady CONSTANT. not I muttered to myself, if that woman was as much in love with me as she is with Pain, what SCENE II.-Another apurtment. an excellent wite she would make! Lady Con. Pam is very obliging. Why won't

Enter Sir BashFUL and LOVEMORE. you strive to be as agreeable?

Sir Bash. Walk in, Mr Lovemore, walk in. Sir Bash. 'Sdeath, madam, you are so fond of I am heartily glad to see you. This is kind. play, that I should not wonder to see my next Love. I am ready, you see, to attend the call child marked on the forehead with a pair of royal of friendship.

Sir Bash. Mr Lovemore, you are a friend, inFur. I am sure you deserve to be marked on deed. the forehead with a pair of

Love. You do me honour, sir Bashful. And Sir Bash. Malapert hussy! do you meddle? your lady, how does she do? Begone this moment!

[Erit FURNISH. Sir Bash. Perfectly well : in great spirits.Lady Con. Fy upon it, sir Bashful! I am tired (Smiling at LoVEMORE.) I never saw her look of blushing for you.

better : but we have had t'other skirmish since I Sir Bash. I am afraid I have gone too far: she saw you. is ashamed of me.

[Aside. Live. Another? Lady Con. You agreed to a separation the Sir Bash. Ay, another; and I did not bate her other day, and there remains nothing but to ex

She is a rare one to argue. She is fit ecute articles, and make an end of all this dis- to discuss a point with any man. Nobody like quiet.

her. Wit at will. I thought I managed the disSir Bash. A separate maintenance will go but pute, and that I should soon have had her at a little way to answer the bawling of milliners, what you call a non-plus. But no, no; no such mercers, jewellers, and gaming debts.

thing; she can give you a sharp turn in a moLady Con. It will purchase content; and no ment, thing can obtain that under your roof.

Love. Ay! Sir Bash. [ Aside.] I have shot my bolt too far Sir Bash. Give her her due, I am nothing to -1 fancy, my lady Constant, that you don't know her. I thought I had her fast; but she went

We might explain matters, and—'sdeath! round me quick as lightning: and would you be[Aside.] I am going to blab—I say, madam, if lieve it? Looks highly pleased.] She did not you understand me rightly-- as to the authority leave me a word to say. of a husband, I might, perhaps, be brought to Love. Well! that was hard upon you. give it up, in part at least; and if nobody was Sir Bash. No, not hard at all. Those little the wiser, I might connive--Po! confusion ! in- victories I don't mind. You know I told you I terrupted again by that

had something for your private ear.

observed nothing odd and singular in me? Enter FURNISH.

Love. Not in the least. In the whole circle Fur. A servant from Mrs Lovemore, madam, of my acquaintance, I know nobody so little tinto know

ged with oddity.

aces.

an ace.

me,

Have you

now?

Sir Bash. What, have you seen nothing ? once, my inclinations are totally changedno, (Laughs.] Have you remarked nothing particu- not changed, but they are not what they seemed Iar in regard to my wife?

to be. Love is the passion that possesses meLove. Why, you don't live happy with her : I am in love, and–[Turns from him.] and I am but that is not a singular case.

ashamed of myself! Sir Bush. But I tell you—this must be in con Love. Ashamed! love is a noble passion : but fidence I am, at the bottom, a very odd fel. don't let me hear any more about it.' Lady Conlow.

stant will discover all, and then the blame will Love. You do yourself injustice, Sir Bashful.

fall on me. If your heart revolts from her, Sir Bash. No, not in the least. It is too true don't let me be thought in league with you. -I am in the main a very odd fellow; I am in- You need not involve me in a quarrel with her deed; as odd a fish as lives; and you must have ladyship. seen it before now.

Šir Bash. You don't take me right. You are Love. I see it! I am not apt to spy defects in wide, quite wide of the mark. Hear me out. my friends. What can this be? You are not Love. No, no more.

You must excuse me. jealous, I hope ?

Sir Bash. You shall hear me. The object of Sir Bash. You have not hit the right nail on my passion, this charming woman, whom I dote the head. No, not jealous. Do ber justice, I on to distractionam safe as to that point. My lady has high no

Love. Your pardon; I won't hear it-Walks tions of honour. No, it is not that.

away from him.) When her ladyship hears of his Love. Not a ray of light to guide me: ex- gallantry, the devil is in the dice, if the spirit of plain, sir Bashful.

revenge does not mould her to my purposes. Sir Bash. (Smiling at him.) You could never Sir Bash. (Following LOVEMORE.] I say, Mr have imagined it. But, first, let me shut this door. Lovemore, this adorable creatureLove. What whim has got possession of him Love. Keep your secret, sir Bashfula

[Avoiding him.) Sir Bash. Mr Lovemore, I have great depen

Sir Bash. (Following him.] Who looks so love dence upon you. I am going to make a disco- ly in my eyes very. I blush at the very thought of it! [Turns away. Love. Well; I don't desire to know her.

Love. Be a man, sir Bashful; out with it at Sir Bash. You do know her. (Following him.) once ; let me advise you.

This idol of my heart is my own wife. Sir Bash. The very thing I want. The affair Love. (Stares at him.] Your own wife? is—but then if he should betray me! Mr Love Sir Bush. Yes, my own wife. (Looks silly, and more, I doubt you, and yet, esteem you. Sume turns away.] 'Tis all over with me: I am unmen there are, who, when a confidence is repo

done ! sed in them, take occasion, from thence, to hold a Love. This is the most unexpected discovery! hank over their friend, and tyrannize hiin all the Sir Bash. Look ye there now! he laughs si rest of his days.

me already Love. O fy! this is ungenerous. True friend Love. Aside.] His wife must not know this, ship is of another quality: it feels from sympa- The grass is cut under my feet, if she ever hears thy; honour is the active principle; and the a word of it. strictest secrecy is an inviolable rule.

Sir Bash. (Aside.] He is struck with amaze Sir Bash. Mr Lovemore, I have no further ment, and does not say a word to me. doubt-stay; did not you hear a noise? Don't I Love. [Aside.] I must not encourage him.see a shadow moving under the bottom of that | And can this be possible, sir Bashful? In love door?

(Goes to the door. with your own wife? Love. What has got into his head?

Sir Bash. Spare my confusion! I have made Sir Bash. [Looking out.] Servants have a way myself very ridiculous. (Looks at him, and turas of listening.

away.) I know I have. Love. Rank jealousy! he has it through the

Love. Ridiculous! Far from it. Can it be

wrong to love a valuable woman? Not to feel Šir Bash. No, no; all's safe. Mr Lovemore, the impressions of beauty and of merit were I will make you the depositary, the faithful de-downright insensibility; but then we should alpositary of a secret : let it pass from the bottom ways admire with discretion. The folly of us of my heart to the inmost recess of yours: there married men consists in letting our wives perceire let it rest, concealed from every prying eye. My the vehemence with which we love; and the inclination—There! I see a laugh already form- consequence is, we are enslaved for the rest of ing in every feature of your face.

our lives. I could trust you with a secret, wbich, Love. Then, my face is no true index of my perhaps, would keep you in countenance. Could mind. Were you to know the agitations in you imagine it? I love my wife. which you keep me by this suspense

Sir Bash. How?
Sir Bask. I believe it. To make an end at Love. I am in love with my wife.

very brain.

me.

Sir Bash. Oh! no, no ; hey! (Looking highly figure there. I could shew her in any company pleased.] you make me laugh. You don't love in England: I wish she could say the same of her, do you?

Love. Passionately, tenderly; with all the ar Love. Why, truly, I wish she could. dour of affection.

Sir Bash. But that's out of the question.
Sir Bash. Give me your hand. Ja! ha! ! Now, if you will come into iny scheme--It must
did not expect this. This is some reliet. Ha! ha! be a deep secret-How? Is that Sir Brilliant's
you have made me happy. And have you led voice ?
the life you have done all this time, on purpose
to conceal your regard from her?

Enter Sir Brilliant.
Love. For that very purpose. I esteen her;
I love her; but I would not have her know it. Sir Bril. Sir Bashful, you see what attraction
Sir Bash. No!

you have. Lovemore, I did not expect to sce
Love. Upon no consideration; nor would I you here.
have the world know it.

Love. Nor did I expect you, Sir Brilliant. Sir Bash. Perfectly right.

[Aside. Love. To be sure. Tell your wife that

you

Sir Bash. Confusion !—This unseasonable vie esteem her good qualities, and adınire her per

sit

Aside: son, she cries, Victoria, falls to plundering, and Sir Bril. And your lady, is she at home, Sir then you must either break her chain, or wear it Bashful? in the face of the world, a laughing-stock for all Sir Bash. Her own people keep that account, your acquaintance.

sir : I know nothing of her. Sir Bash. That is what I have always been a Sir Bril. Nay, never talk slightingly of a lady, fraid of.

who possesses so many elegant accomplishments. Love. Not without reason. The world de- She has spirit, sense, wit, and beauty. lights in ridicule. Do you know, if our secrets Sir Bash. Spirit, sense, wit, and beauty! she were to transpire, that we should have nothing has them all, sure enough.-Sir, I am no sworn but wit, and raillery, and fleers, and taunts, fly- appraiser, to take an inventory of her effects. ing about our ears?

[Aside.] Hey, Lovemore! Sir Bash. But I have taken good care. I have

(Louks at him, and laughs. quarrelled with my lady ten times a-day, on pur Love. (To Sir Bashful.]. Vastly well. pose to cloak the affair, and prevent all suspi Sir Bril

. Is her ladyship visible this morning? cion,

Sir Bash. Whether she is visible, or not, is no Love. Admirable! I commend your prudence. business of mine; but I know she is unintelliBesides,—my lady Constant, you know, has some gible this morning, and incomprehensible this youthful vigour about her; a graceful person, and morning. She has the vapours; but your conan eye that inflames desire; and desire at your versation, I suppose, will brighten her up for the time of life, you know

rest of the day. Sir Bash. Po! it is not for that; that is no Sir Bril. Why, as it happens, I have the thing. I wear admirably well, Mr Lovemore, rarest piece of news to coinmunicate to her! Love. Do you?

Lovemore, you know sir Amorous la Fool? Sir Bash. As young as ever: but I don't let Love. He that was sheriff the other day? her know it.

Came up with an address, and got himself Love. Well! if you are discreet in that point, knighted ? you are a very Machiavel!

Sir Bril. The same. He declared he would Sir Bash. Yes, yes ; I fight cunning. (Laughs. live with his friends upon the same familiar foot

Love. Let nothing betray you. Be upon your ing as before, and his new dignities should make guard : that is my own plan exactly. You want no alteration. no advice from me.

Sir Bash. I have seen the knight. What of Sir Bash. Pardon me: you can assist me.

him? My dear brother sufferer, give me your band.

Sir Bril. Poor devil! he is in such a scrape ! We can, in a sly way, be of great use to each Sir Bash. What's the matter? Bubbled at other.

play, I suppose ? Love. As how?

Sir Bril. Worse, much worse. Sir Bash. I'll tell you. There are some things Love. He has been blackballed at one of the which, you know, our wives expect to be doue. clubs?

Love. So there are. -[Aside.) What the de Sir Bash. Or run through the body in a duel? vil is he at now?

Sir Bril. Why, that's a scrape indeed: but it
Sir Bash. Now, if you will assist me is not that.
Love. You may depend upon my assistance. Sir Bash. What then?

Sir Bash. Thus it is: my wife, you know, Sir Bril. So unfortunate a discovery: he is keeps a power of company, and makes a grcal rallen in love, I cannot help laughing at him. Vol. II.

4 Y

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