Love. Po! fallen in love with some coquette, | medy; and what do you think he has done? He who plays off her airs, and makes a jest of has drawn the character of sir Amorous, and made him the hero of the play. him. Sir Bash. A young actress, may be, or an opera singer? Sir Bril. No; you will never guess. Sir Bashful-like a silly devil, he is fallen in love with his own wife. Sir Bash. Fallen in love with his own wife! [Stares at him. Sir Bril. Yes; he has made up all quarrels ; his jealousy is at an end; and he is to be upon his good behaviour for the rest of his life.Could you expect this, Lovemore? Love. No, sir; neither I, nor my friend, sir Bashful, expected this. Sir Bash. It is a stroke of surprise to me. [Looking uneasy. Sir Bril. I heard it at my lady Betty Scandal's; and we had such a laugh! the whole company were in astonishment: whist stood still, quadrille laid down the cards, and brag was in in suspense. Poor sir Amorous! it is very ridiculous; is not it, sir Bashful? Sir Bash. Very ridiculous, indeed.-[Aside.] My own case, exactly, and my friend Lovemore's, too. Sir Bril. The man is lost, undone, ruined, dead, and buried. Love. [Laughing.] He will never be able to shew his face after this discovery. Sir Bril. Oh, never, 'tis all over with him. Sir Bashful, this does not divert you; you don't enjoy it. Sir Bash. Who, I?-I-I-nothing can be more pleasant, and-I-laugh as heartily as I possibly can. [Forcing a laugh. Sir Bril. Lovemore, you remember Sir Amorous used to strut, and talk big, and truly he did not care a pinch of snuff for his wife, not he! pretended to be as much at ease as sir Bashful about his lady, and as much his own master as you yourself, or any man of pleasure about town. Love. I remember him: But as to sir Bashful and myself, we know the world; we understand life. Sir Bush. So we do; the world will never have such a story of us. Will they, Lovemore? Love. Oh! we are free; we are out of the scrape. Sir Bril. Sir Amorous la Fool will be a proverb. Adieu, for him, the side-box whisper, the soft assignation, and all the joys of freedom! He is retired with his Penelope to love one another in the country; and next winter they will come to town to hate one another. Sir Bash. Do you think it will end so? Sir Bril. No doubt of it. That is always the denouement of modern matrimony. But I have not told you the worst of his case. Our friend, sir Charles Wildfire, you know, was writing a co Sir Bash. What! put him into a comedy? It is called, The Amorous Husband; or, The Man in Love with his own wife.' Oh! oh! oh! oh! Love. We must send in time for places. [Laughs with SIR BRILLIANT. Sir Bash. Lovemore carries it with an air. [Aside. Sir Bril. Yes, we must secure places. Sir Bashful, you shall be of the party. mour. Sir Bash. The party will be very agreeable. I shall enjoy the joke prodigiously! Ha! ha! [Forces a laugh. Love. Yes, sir Bashful, we shall relish the hu[Looks at him, and laughs. Sir Bril. The play will have a run: the people of fashion will crowd after such a character. I must drive to a million of places, and put it about; but first, with your leave, sir Bashful, I will take the liberty to give a hint of the affair to your lady. It will appear so ridiculous to her. Sir Bash. Do you think it will? Sir Bril. Without doubt: she has never met with any thing like it: has she, Lovemore? Love. I fancy not: Sir Bashful, you take care of that. Sir Bash. Yes, yes: I shall never be the towntalk.-Hey, Lovemore! Sir Bril. Well, I'll step and pay my respects to my lady Constant. Poor sir Amorous! he will have his horns added to his coat of arms in a little time. Ha! ha! [Erit. Sir Bush. There, you see how it is. I shall get lampooned, be-rhymed, and niched into a comedy. Love. Po! never be frightened at this. Nobody knows of your weakness but myself; and I can't betray your secret for my own sake. Sir Bash. Very true. Love. This discovery shews the necessity of concealing our loves. We must act with caution. Give my lady no reason to suspect that you have the least kindness for her. Sir Bash. Not for the world. Love. Keep to that. Sir Bash. I have done her a thousand kiudnesses, but all by stealth; all in a sly way. Love. Have you? Sir Bash. Oh! a multitude. I'll tell you. She has been plaguing me a long time for an addition to her jewels. She wants a diamond cross, and a better pair of diamond buckles. Madam, says I, I will have no such trumpery; but then goes I, and bespeaks them of the first jeweller in town-all under the rose. The buckles are finished: worth five hundred! She will have them this very day, without knowing from what quar ter they come-I can't but laugh at the contri Enter SIR BRILLIANT. Sir Bril. Sir Bashful, how have you managed this? Sir Bash. I have no art, no management. What's the matter? Sir Bril. I don't know what you have done, but your lady laughs till she is ready to expire at what I have been telling her. Sir Bash. And she thinks sir Amorous la Fool an object of ridicule? Sir Bril. She does not give credit to a single syllable of the story. A man that loves his wife would be a Phoenix indeed! Such a thing might Love. [Laughing with him.] Perfectly safe-exist formerly, but, in this polished age, is no [Aside.] if it was not for his own folly, where to be found, That's her opinion of the matter. Sir Bash. But I was telling you, Mr Lovemore:-we can be of essential use to each other. Love. As low, pray? Sir Bush. Why, my lady is often in want of money. It would be ridiculous in me to supply her. Now, if you will take the money from me, and pretend to lend it to her, out of friendship, you know Love. Nothing can be better-[Aside.] Here is a fellow pimping for his own horns.- -I shall be glad to serve you. Sir Bash. I am for ever obliged to you-here, here; take it now-here it is in bank-notesone, two, three; there is three hundred-give her that, and tell her you have more at her service to-morrow, or next day, if her occasions require it. Love. My good friend, to oblige you. [Takes the money.] This is the rarest adventure! Sir Bash. I'll do any thing for you in return. Love. I shall have occasion for your friendship—that is, to forgive me, if you find me out. [Aside. Sir Bash. Lose no time; step to her nowhold, hold; sir Brilliant is with her. Love. I can dismiss him. Rely upon my friendship: I will make her ladyship easy for you. Sir Bash. It will be kind of you. Love. It shall be her own fault if I don't, Sir Bash. A thousand thanks to you—well, is not this the rarest project? Love. It is the newest way of satisfying man's wife! a Sir Bash. [Laughs.] A whimsical notion of hers! and so she thinks you may go about with a lanthorn to find a man that sets any value upon his wife? Sir Bril. You have managed to convince her of it. How the devil do you contrive to govern so fine a woman? I know several, without her pretensions, who have long ago thrown off all restraint. You keep up your dignity. Sir Bash. Yes, I know what I am about. Sir Bril. You!-you are quite in the fashion. -Apropos; I fancy I shall want you to afford me your assistance. You know my lady Charlotte Modelove? She has a taste for the theatre : at Bell-Grove Place she has an elegant stage, where her select friends amuse themselves now and then with a representation of certain comic pieces. We shall there act the new comedy; but we apprchend some difficulty in the arrangement of the several characters. Now, you shall act sir Amorous, and Sir Bash. I act, sir !—I know nothing of the character. Sir Bril. Po! say nothing of that. In time you may reach the ridiculous absurdity of it, and play it as well as another. Sir Bash. [Aside.] Confusion! he does not suspect, I hope-divert yourselves, sir, as you may; but not at my expence I promise you. Sir Bril. Never be so abrupt. Who knows but lady Constant may be the happy wife, the Cara Sposa of the piece! and then, you in love with her, and she laughing at you for it, will give Sir Bash. Ay! let this head of mine alone. a zest to the huinour, which every body will reLove. [Aside.] Not, if I can help it. Hush!-lish in the most exquisite degree. I hear sir Brilliant; he is coming down stairs. Sir Bash. Po! this is too much. You are I'll take this opportunity, and step to her lady-very pleasant, but you won't easily get me to play ship now. Sir Bush. Do so, do so. the fool. Sir Bril. Well, consider of it. I shall be deLove. I am gone. [Aside.] Who can blame me lighted to see my friend sir Bashful tied to his now, if I cuckold this fellow? wife's apronstring, and, with a languishing look, Sir Bash. Prosper you, prosper you, Mr Love-melting away in admiration of her charins. Oh, more. Make me thankful! he is a true friend. ho, ho, ho!-adicu; a l'honneur; good morn [Exit. I don't know what I should do without him. ing, sir Bashful. [Exit. Sir Bash. I don't know what to make of all this. But there is no danger. As long as no body knows it, I may venture to love my wife. There will be no harm, while the secret is kept close as night, concealed, in tenfold darkness, from the wits and scoffers of the age. Enter LOVEMORE. Well, well;-how? what have you done? Love. She has not a distant idea of you in this business. She was rather delicate at first, and hesitated, and thought it an indecorum to accept of money even from a friend. But_that_objection soon vanished. I told her, it is but too visible that she is unfortunately yoked with a husband, whose humour will never be softened down to the least compliance with her inclinations. Sir Bash. That was well said, and had a good effect, I hope. Love. I hope so, too. Sir Bash. It helps to carry on the plot, you know. Love. Admirably; it puts things in the train I wish. Sir Bash. And so, to cover the design, you gave me the worst of characters? Love. I painted you in terrible colours. Sir Bash. Do so always, and she will never suspect me of being privy to any civility you may shew her. have deferred it till the evening-[Aside.] 'Sdeath! to be teased in this manner. Sir Bash. [Aside.] No, no; he won't drop the mask. [Looks at LADY CONSTANT.] She has touched the cash; I can see the bank-notes sparkling in her eyes. Mrs Love. If you don't go into the city till the evening, may I hope for your company at dinner, Mr Lovemore? Love. The question is entertaining; but, as it was settled this morning, I think it has lost the graces of novelty. Sir Bash. He won't let her have the least suspicion of his regard. [Aside. Lady Con. I dare say Mr Lovemore will dine at home, if it conduces to your happiness, madam; and sir Bashful, I take it, will dine at home, for the contrary reason. Sir Bash. Madam, I will dine at home, or I will dine abroad, for what reason I please; and it is my pleasure to give no reason for either.— Lovemore! [Looks at him, and smiles. Love. [Aside to SIR BASHFUL.] Bravo!—What a blockhead it is! Sir Bash. [Aside.] Cunning! cunning! he would not be seen in his chariot with her for the world. He has more discretion than I have. Lady Con. Mrs Lovemore, since you have, at last, ventured to come abroad, I hope you will think it a change for the better. You are too domestic. I shall expect now to see you often: and apropos, I am to have a route to morrow evening; if you will do me the honour of your Love. I would not have you know any thing of Sir Bush. Ay, and here comes my wife. Enter MRS LOVEMORE, and LADY CONSTANT, Lady Con. Mrs Lovemore, to see you abroad is a novelty indeed. Mrs Love. As great, perhaps, as that of finding your ladyship at home. Mr Lovemore, 1 did not expect to have the pleasure of meeting you. Love. Then we are both agrecably surprised. Sir Bash. Now, mind how he behaves. [Aside. Mrs Love. I thought you were gone to your city banker. Love. And you find that you are mistaken. Il Sir Bash. A route to-morrow evening! you have a route every evening, I think. Learn of Mrs Lovemore; imitate her example, and don't let me have your hurricane months all the year round in my house.-Hip! [Aside.] Love more, how do you like me? every Love. [Aside to SIR BASHFUL.] You improve upon it if I had nothing to do.-My lady Constant, I have time. But I am loitering here, as the honour to wish your ladyship a good morning. Sir Bashful, yours--inadam. [Bows gravely to MRS LOVEMORE, hums a tune, and erit. Sir Bash. [Aside.] He knows how to play the game. I'll try what I can do. Mrs Lovemore, I have the honour to wish you a good morning. Madam [Bows gravely to LADY CONSTANT, hums a tune, and exit. Mrs Love. Two such husbands! Lady Con. As to my swain, I grant you: Mr Lovemore is, at least, well-bred; he has an understanding, and may, in time, reflect. Sir Bashful never qualifies himself with the smallest tincture of civility. Mrs Love. If civility can qualify the draught, I must allow Mr Lovemore to have a skilful hand. But there is no end to his projects.Every day opens a new scene. Another of his intrigues is come to light. I came to consult with your ladyship. I know you are acquainted with the widow Bellmour. Lady Con. The widow Bellmour! I know her perfectly well. Mrs Love. Not so well, perhaps, as you may imagine. She has thrown out the lure for my wild gallant, and in order to deceive me Lady Con. My dear, you must be mistaken.Who tells you this? Mrs Love. Oh, I can trust to my intelligence. Sir Brilliant Fashion, by way of blind to me, has been this morning drawing so amiable a picture of the lady Mrs Love. But when you have heard all the circumstances Lady Con. Depend upon it, you are wrong.I know the widow Bellmour. Her turn of character, and way of thinking Mrs Love. Excuse me, madam. You decide without hearing me. Lady Con. All scandal, take my word for it. However, let me hear your story. We'll adjourn to my dressing-room, if you will; and I promise to confute all you can say. I would have you know the widow Bellmour: you will be in love with her. My dear madam, have not you a tinge of jealousy? Beware of that malady. If you see things through that medium, I shall give you up. That jaundice of the mind, whose colours strike On friend and foe, and paint them all alike. [Exeunt. ACT III. SCENE I.—An apartment at the WIDOW BELLMOUR'S: several chairs, a toilette, a book-case, and a harpsichord, disposed up and down. MIGNIONET. Putting things in order. Mig. I DON'T well know what to make of thi same lord Etheridge. He is coming here again to-day, I suppose: all this neatness, and all this care, must be for him. Well, it does not signify: Arranging the chairs.]—there is a pleasure in obeying Madam Bellmour. She is a sweet lady, that's the truth of it. Twere a pity if any of these men, with their deceitful arts, should draw her into a snare. But she knows them all. They must rise early who can outwit her.-[Settling the toilette.] Enter MRS BELLMOUR, reading. "Oh! blest with temper, whose unclouded ray 'Can make to-morrow cheerful as to-day! She, who can own a sister's charms, and hear 'Sighs for a daughter with unwounded ear; That never answers till a husband cools, And, if she rules hin, never shews she rules.' Sensible, elegant Pope! Charms by accepting, by submitting sways, Yet has her humour most, when she obeys.' [Seems to read on Mig. Lord love my mistress! Always so charming, so gay, and so happy! Mrs Bell. These exquisite characters of wo men! They are a sort of painter's gallery, where one sees the portraits of all one's acquaintance, and sometimes we see our own features, too.Mignionet, put this book in its place. Mig. Yes, madam; and there's your toilette looks as elegant as hands can make it. Mrs Bell. Does it? I think it does. You have some taste. Apropos, where is my new song? Oh! here it is! I must make myself mistress of it.[Plays upon the harpsichord, and sings a little.]-I believe I have conquered it.--[ Rises, and goes to her toilette.]-This hair is always tormenting me, always in disorder: this lock must be for ever gadding out of its place. I must, and will, subdue it. Do you know, Mignionet, that this is a pretty song? It was writ by my lord Etheridge. My lord has a turn-[Sings a little.] must be perfect before he comes.-[Hums the tune.]-Do you know that I think my lord is one of those men who may be endured? Mig. Yes, madam; I know you think so. Mig. And if I have any skill, madam, you are not without a little partiality for his lordship. : Mrs Bell. Really? Then you think I like him, perhaps? Do you think I like him? I don't well know how that is. Like him? No, not absolutely it is not decided and yet I don't know, if I had a miud to humour myself, and to give way a little to inclination, there is something here in my heart that would be busy, I believe. The man has a softness of manner, a turn of wit, and does not want sentiment. Can I call it sentiment? Yes; I think I may. He has sentiment; and then he knows the manners, the usage of the world, and he points out the ridicule of things with so much humour! Mig. You'll be caught, madam, I see that. be sure, my lord has a quality air, and can make himself agreeable. But what of that? You know but very little of him. Is a man's character known in three or four weeks time? [MRS BELLMOUR hums a tune.]—Do, my dear inadam, mind what I say: I am at times very considerate. I make my remarks, and I see very plainly-Lord, madam, what am I doing? I am talking to you for your own good, and you are all in the air, and no more mind me-no, no more than if I was nothing at all. reach a chair.-[MRS LOVEMORE crosses the stage, and they salute each other with an air of | distant civility.] Mrs Love. I am afraid this visit from one who [Exit MIGNIONET. Mrs Love. It may appcar extraordinary, that Mrs Bell. [Continues humming a tune.]-You a stranger thus intrudes upon you; but a particutalk wonderfully well upon the subject; but, as I lar circumstance determined me to take this liknow how the cards lie, and can play the best ofberty. I hope you will excuse the freedom? the game; and as I have a song to amuse me, one is inclined to give musical nonsense the preference. Mig. I assure you, madam, I am not one of those servants, that bargain for their mistress's inclinations: but you are going to take a leap in What does my lord Etheridge mean, the dark. with his chair always brought into the hall, and the curtains close about his ears? Why does not he come like himself, and not care who sees him? There's some mystery at the bottom, I'll be sworn there is; and so you'll find at last. Dear heart, madam, if you are determined not to listen, what signifies my living with you? At this rate, I am of no service to you. Mrs Bell. You do me honour, madam: pray, no excuses. A particular circumstance, you say? Mrs Love. I shall appear, perhaps, very ridiculous, and, indeed, I am afraid I have done the most absurd thing! but a lady of your acquaintYou know my lady Constant, madam? Mrs Bell. Extremely well. ance Mrs Love. She has given you such an amiable character for benevolence, and a certain elegant way of thinking, entirely your own, that I flatter myself, if it is in your power, you will be generous enough to afford me your assistance. Mrs Bell. Lady Constant is very obliging.Make a trial of me, madam, and if I can be of any use Mrs Bell. There; I have conquered my song. Mrs Love. I fear I shall ask you a strange [Runs to her glass.]—How do I look to-day? The do well enough, I think. And so, Mig-question :-are you acquainted with a gentleman nionet, you imagine I shall play the fool, and of the name of Lovemore? marry my lord Etheridge? eyes Mig. You have it through the very heart of you I see that. : Mrs Bell. Do you? I don't know what to say to it. Poor sir Brilliant Fashion! If I prefer his rival, what will become of him? I won't think about it. Enter POMPEY. Mrs Bell. What's the matter, Pompey? Pom. A lady in a chair desires to know if your ladyship is at home. Mrs Bell. Has the lady no name? Pom. Yes; I fancy she has, madam; but she did not tell it. list. Mrs Bell. Lovemore? No such name on my Lovemore? No: I recollect no such perThe circle of my acquaintance is small : I am almost a stranger in town. son. Mrs Love. That makes an end, madam. I beg your pardon. I have given you an unneces‐ [Going. sary trouble. Mrs Bell. [Aside.]-Mighty odd this! Her manner is interesting. You have given me no trouble; but my curiosity is excited.—[ Takes her by the hand.]—I beg you will keep your chair.Pray be seated. What can this mean ?—[Aside.] -Will you be so good as to inform me who the gentleman is? Mrs Love. The story will be uninteresting to Mrs Bell. How awkward! Well, shew the la-you, and, to me, it is painful. My grievances— dy up stairs. Mig. Had not you better receive her in the drawing-room, madam? I have not half done my business here? Mrs Bell. Oh! You have done very well.-There will be less formality here. I dare say it is some intimate acquaintance, though that foolish boy does not recollect her name. Here she comes. I don't know her. [Puts her handkerchief to her eyes.] Mrs Bell. [Aside.]—Her grief affects me.[Looks at her till she has recovered herself.]—I would not importune too much Mrs Love. You have such an air of frankness and generosity, that I will open myself without reserve. I have the tenderest regard for Mr Lovemore: I have been married to him these two years. I admired his understanding, his sensibility, and his spirit. My heart was his; I loved him with unbounded passion. I thought the flame was mutual, and you may believe I was happy. But, of late, there is such a revolution in his temper! I know not what to make of it. I am doomed to be unhappy. |