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Mrs Bell. Perhaps not: you may still have | ture, virtue embellished by the advantages of art, much in your power.

that men expect now-a-days. That is the whole Ars Love. My power is at an end. Instead attair : I would not make myself uncasy, ma'am. of the looks of affection, and the expressions of Mrs Love. Not uneasy, when his indifference tenderness, with which he used to meet me, it is does not diminish my regard for him! Not unnothing now but cold, averted, superficial civili- easy, when the man i dote upon, no longer tixes ty; while abroad, he runs on in a wild career of his happiness at home! pleasure, and, to my deep affliction, has attached Mrs Bell. Give me leave to speak my mind himself entirely to another object.

freely. I have observed, when the fiend jeaMrs Bell. And if I had known Mr Lovemore, lousy is roused, that women lay out a wonderful do you imagine that my advice or persuasion deal of anxiety and vexation to no account; would avail you any thing ?

when, perhaps, if the truth were known, they Mrs Love. I had such a fancy. [Aside.) What should be angry with themselves instead of their can I think of her!

husbands. Mrs Bell. You are much mistaken. In these Mrs Love. Angry with myself, madam! Cacases, friends may interpose; but what can they lumny can lay nothing to my charge. do? They recommend a wife to the good will, Mrs Bell. There again, now! that is the folly the honour, and generosity of her husband. But of us all. when a woman, who should be esteemed and lo Mrs Love. And after being married so long, ved, is recommended as an object of compassion, and behaving all the time with such an equality! she is humbled indeed: it is all over with her. Mrs Bell. Ay, that equality is the rock so maA wife should recommend herself by the graces ny split upon. The men will change. Excuse of her person, and the variety of her talents. my freedom. They are so immersed in luxury, Men will prove false ; and, if there is nothing in that they must have eternal variety in their hiapyour complaint, but mere gallantry on his side, Ipiness. protest, I do not see that your case is so very bad. Mrs Love. She justifics him! [ Aside. Mirs Love. Can it be worse, ma'am ?

Mrs Bell. Your case may not be desperate : Mrs Bell. A great deal. If his affections, in- I would venture to lay a pot of coffee, that the stead of being alicnated, had been extinguished, person, who now rivals you in your husband's afwhat would be the consequence ?-A downright, fections, does it without your good qualities, and sullen, habitual insensibility. From that lethargy even without your beauty, by the mere force of of affection, a man is not easily recalled. In all agreeable talents, and some skill in the art of Love's bill of mortality, there is not a more fatal pleasiny. disorder. But this is not the case with Mr Love Mrs Love. I am afraid that complimentmore: by your account, he still has sentient; Mrs Bell. If I judge right, you are entitled to and, where there is sentiment, there is room to it. Let me ask you : Do you know this formihope for an alteration. But where the heart has dable rival? lost its feeling, you have the pain of finding your Mrs Love. There, I own, I am puzzled. self neglected ; and for what? The man has Mrs Bell. What sort of woman is she? grown stupid, and, to the warm beams of wit and Mrs Love. Formidable indeed! She has been beauty, as impenetrable as an ice-house.

described to me as one of charming and rare acMrs Love. That is not my complaint. I have complishments. to do with one, who is too susceptible of impres Mrs Bell. Never throw up the cards for all sions from every beautiful object that comes in that. Take my advice, ma’am. You seem to

have qualities that may dispute your husbaud's Mrs Bell. Why, so much the better. A new heart with any body; but the exertion of those iilea strikes his fancy. He is inconstant; but, at- amiable qualities, I fear, may be suppressed. Exter wavering and Ruttering, he may settle at last. cuse my frankness. You should counteract your

Mrs Love. How light she makes of it! she rival by the very arts which she employs ayainst apologizes for hiin!

[Aside. you. I know a lady now in your very situation : Alrs Bell. And, perhaps, the fault is on the and what does she do? She consuines herself woman's side

with unceasing jealousy; whereas, if she would Mrs Love. The virtue of my conduct, ma exert but half the pains she uses in teasing herdam

self, to vie with the person who has won her husMrs Bell. Oh! I would have laid my life you band from her; to vie with her, I say, in the ar: would be at that work. But virtue is not the of pleasing-for there it is a woman's pride should mestion at present. I suppose virtue; that is be piqued-Would she do that, take iny word always understood. The fault I mean, is the for it, victory would declare in her favour. You

of due attention to the art of pleasing. It are not without attractions ; give them their is the ze that most women fail. In these times, energy, and you conquer. virtue

may be its own reward. Virtue alone can Mrs Love. Do you think so, ma'am ?
case the taste of the age. It is la belle na Mrs Bell. Think so! I am sure of it. You

his way.


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must exert yourself. It is the wife's business to [A rap at the door.] Oh! Heavens! some troublebait the hook for her husband with variety. Vir- some visit.

(Rings a bell. tue alone, by her own native charms, would do,

Enter MIGNIONET. if the men were perfect. But it is otherwise ; and, since vice can assume allurements, why should Mrs Bell. I am not at home. Go, and give not truth and innocence have additional ornaments also ?

Mig. It is lord Etheridge, ma'am : he is coMrs Love. I find sir Brilliant told me truth. ming up stairs. The servants did not know you

[Aside. had changed your mind. Mrs Bell. Give me leave, ma'am: I have been Mrs Bell. Was ever any thing so cross? Tell married, and am a little in the secret. To win a his lordship I have company; I am busy; I am heart is easy; to keep it is the difficulty. After not well; any thing; don't let him come in. the fatal words · for better, for worse,' women Make haste, dispatch : I won't see him. relax into indolence, and, while they are guilty of Mrs Love. I beg I may not hinder you : I shall no infidelity, they think every thing safe. But take my leave. they are mistaken: a great deal is wanting; an Mrs Bell. By no means. Our conversation address, a vivacity, a desire to please; the agree-grows interesting. I positively will not see my able contrast; the sense that pleases, the folly lord. that charms---A favourite poet, Prior, has ex Mrs Love. I can't agree to that. You must pressed it with delicacy.

see his lordship. I can step into another room.

Mrs Bell. Will you be so good? You will find • Above the fixed and settled rules

something to amuse you in that cabinet. [Points • Of vice and virtue in the schools,

to a door in the back scene.) We must talk far. • The better part should set before 'em ther. My lord shan't stay long. A grace, a manner, a decorum.'

Mrs Love. Nay, but if you stand upon cere

monyMrs Love. But when the patural temper Mrs Bell. Very well : I'll contrive it. This is

Mrs Bell. Ob! the natural temper must be a lover of mine. A lover and a husband are the forced. Home must be made a place of plea- same thing. Perhaps it will divert you to hear sure to the husband. How is that to be done? how I manage him. I hear him on the stairs. That equality, which you talk of, is a sameness Make haste: Mignionet, shew the way. that palls and wearies. A wife should throw in [Mrs Love. and Mig. go out at the back finite variety into her manner. She should, as it were, multiply herself, and be, as it were, sundry Mrs Bell. Let me see how I look to receive different women, on different occasions. The ten- him.

[Runs to her glass der, the affectionate, the witty, the silent, all in

Enter LoveMore, with a star and garter, as their turns, all shifting the scene, and she suc

LORD ETHERIDGE. ceeding to herself as quick as lightning. And this I take to be the whole mystery; the way to keep

Love. A heavenly image in the glass appears But I beg your pardon. I go on too

To that she bends, to that her eyes she fast: you will think me the giddiest creature.

rears, Mrs Love. Quite the reverse, ma'am; you are

Repairs her smilesvery obliging!

Mrs Bell. Repairs her smiles, my lord! You Mrs Bell. I have tired myself and you, too.

are satirical this morning. Pray, :ny lord, are my But pray, may I now inquire, who was so kind features out of repair, like an old house in the as to intimate that I am acquainted with Mr country, that wants a tenant ? Lovemore?

Love. Nay, now, you wrest my words from their Mrs Love. It was a mere mistake. I have gi- visible intention. You can't suppose that I imven you a great deal of trouble. You will excuse pute to such perfect beauty the least want of remy frankness : I had heard that his visits were pair, whatever may be the case, ma'am, with refrequent here.

gard to the want of a tenant? Mrs Bell. His visits frequent here! My lady Mrs Bell. Oh! then your opinion is, that I Constant could not tell you so?

want a tenant? And perhaps you think I am go Mrs Love. She told me quite the contrary. ing to put up a bill to signity to all passers-bs, She knows your amiable qualities, and does you that here is a mansion to be let, inquire of the justice.

widow Bellmour! I like your notion; I don't Mrs Bell. The accident is lucky! it has pro- think it would be a bad sclieme. Shall I try it? cured me the honour of your acquaintance. And Love. A palace needs no such invitation. Its I suppose you imagined that I had robbed you of natural beauty attracts admiring eyes. But who Mr Loremore's heart?-Scandal will be buzzing can bid up to the price : The person who is able about. I can laugh at every thing of that sort. to do it


a man.

sume to

Mrs Bell. Will be happy; I know that is what ladyship's most obedient-[Curtsying.] We exyou are going to say. But he must do homage' pected you last night, but you did not come.for it: and then I will let it to none but a single · He, he, he !-and so there was sir George and gentleman. Do you know any body whom these the rest of us; and so, turning the corner of conditions will suit?

Bond-street, the brute of a coachman-I humLove. Those conditions, ma'am -[Aside.] bly thank your grace (Curtsies.] -- the brute What the devil does she mean? I am not de- of a coachinan overturned us, and so my aunt tected, I hope?- To be sure, ma'am, those condi Roly-Poly was frightened out of her wits; and tions-And-none but single gentlemen will pre- lady Betty has had her nerves again. Only

think! such accidents !-I ain glad to see you Mrs Bell. And then it must be a lease for life. ' look so well; a l'honneur ;' he, he, he ! But that will never do; nobody will be troubled Love. Ho, ho! you paint to the life. I see with it. I shall never get it off my hands; do you her moving before ime in all her airs. think I shall, my lord ?

Mrs Bel. With this conversation their whole Love. There must be very little taste left, if stock is exhausted, and away they run to cards. you have not a number of bidders. You know Quadrille has murdered wit! the ambition of my heart; you know I am de Love. Ay, and beauty, too. Cards are the voted to you, upon any terms, even though it worst enemies to a complexion : the small pox is were to he bought with life.

not so bad. The passions throw themselves into Mrs Bell. Heavens! what a dying swain you every feature: I have seen the countevance of an are! And does your lordship mean to be guilty angel changed, in a moment, to absolute deforof matrimony? Lord! what a question have I mity: the little loves and graces that sparkled in asked! To be sure, I am the giddiest creature. the eye, bloomed in the cheek, and smiled about My lord, don't you think me a strange madcap? the mouth, all wing their flight, and leave the

Love. A vein of wit, like yours, that springs at face, which they before adorned, a prey to grief, once from vivacity and sentiment, serves to exalt to anger, malice, and fury, and the whole train your beauty, and give animation to every charm. of fretful passions.

Mrs Bel. Upon my word, you have said it Mrs Bel. And the language of the passions is finely! But you are in the right, my lord. Your sometimes heard upon those occasions. pensive melancholy beauty is the most insipid Love. Very true, madam; and if, by chance, thing in nature. And yet, we often see features they do bridle and hold in a little, the struggle without a mind; and the owner of them sits in they undergo is the most ridiculous sight in nathe room with you, like a inere vegetable, for an ture. I have seen a huge oath quivering on the hour together, till, at last, she is incited to the pale lip of a reigning toast for half an hour toviolent exertion of, “Yes, sir - I fancy not, gether, and an uplifted eye accusing the gods for 'ma'am,' and then a matter of fact conversation! the loss of an odd trick. And then, at last, the "Miss Beverly is going to be married to Captain whole room in a babel of sounds. My lord, you < Shoulder-knot-My lord Mortgage has had an-flung away the game.—Sir George, why did not

other tumble at hazard-Sir Harry Wilding has you rough the spade ?-Captain Hazard, why "lost his election—They say short aprons are did not you lead through the honours ?- Madam, coming into fashion.'

it was not the play—Pardon me, sir—but madain Love. Oh! a matter of fact conversation is in

--but sir-I would not play with you for straws; supportable.

don't you know what Hoyle says? --It A and Mrs Bel. But you meet with nothing else. All • B are partners against C and D, and the game in great spirits about nothing, and not an idea nine all, A and B have won three tricks, and among them. Go to Ranelag), or to what pub-C and D four tricks : C leads his suit, D puts lic place you will, it is just the same. A lady up the king, then returns the suit; A passes, comes up to you ;— How charmingly you look? 'C puts up the queen, and B trumps it;' and so

- But, iny dear m'em, did you hear what hap- A and B, and C and D are bandied about; they pened to us the other night? We were going attack, they defend, and all is jargon and contu

horne from the opera—you know my aunt Roly- sion, wrangling, noise, and nonsense; and high • Poly? it was her coach. There was she and life, and polite conversation. Ha! ha! ha!

lady Betty Fidget--What a sweet blonde ! How Mrs Bel. Ha! ha! the pencil of Hogarth do you do, my dear? [Curtsying as to another could not do it better. And yet one is dragged to 'going by.) My lady Betty is quite recovered; these places. One must play sometimes. We we were all frightened about her; but doctor must let our friends pick our pockets now and Soake-rout was called in; no, not doctor Snake- then, or they drop our acquaintance. Do you root, Doctor Bolus ; and so he altered the ever play, my lord ? course of the medicines, and so my lady Betty Love. Play, ma'am!--[Aside.] What does • is purely now.–Well, there was she, and my she mean? I must play the hypocrite to the end * aunt, and sir George Bragwell-a pretty man of the chapter.--Play?-Now and then, as you • sir George !—finest teeth in the world !--Your say, one must, to oblige, and from necessity; Vol. II.



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but from taste, or inclination, no; I never touch one would almost swear that you hare a wife at a card.

home who sat for the picture. Mrs Bel. Oh! very true; I forgot. You de Love. Madam, the—[ Embarrassed.] The comdicate your time to the Muses ; a downright pliment-you are only laughing at me the subrhyming peer. Do you know, my lord, that Iject, from every day's experience4[dside.) Does am charmed with your song?

she suspect me!-the subject is common-BaLove. Are you?

chelor's wives, you know-ha! ha!

-And when Mrs Bel. Absolutely; and I really think you you inspire the thought; when you are the bright would make an admirable Vauxhall poet.

original, it is no wonder that the copyLove. Nay, now you flatter me.

Mrs Bel. Horrid! going to harp on the old Mrs Bel. No, as I live; it is very pretty. And string. Odious solicitations! I hate all propodo you know that I can sing it already ? Come, sals. I am not in the humour. You must reyou shall hear how I murder it. I have no voice lease me now : your visit is rather long. I have to-day, but you shall hear me.

[Sings. indulged you a great while. And, besides, were

I to listen to your vows, what would become of Attend, all ye fair, and I'll tell you the art, poor sir Brilliant Fashion?

To bind every fancy with ease in your chains ; Love. Sir Brilliant Fashion? To hold in soft fetters the conjugal heart,

Mrs Bel. Do you know him? And banish from Hymen his doubts and his Love. I know whom you mean. I have seen pains.

him ; but that's all. He lives with a strange set,

and does not more in my sphere. If he is a When Juno was decked with the cestus of Love, friend of yours, I have no more to say. At first she was handsome ; she charming be Mírs Bel. Is there any thing to say against

him? With skill the soft passions it taught her to move, Love. Nay, I have no knowledge of the genTo kindle at once, and to keep up the flame. tleman. They who know him best, don't rate

him high. A sort of current coin that passes in 'Tis this gives the eyes all their magic and fire,

this town.

You will do well to beware of cougThe voice-melting accents ; impassions the kiss; terfeits. Confers the sweet smile, that awakens desire, Mrs Bel. But this is very alarmingAnd plants round the fair each incentive to bliss.

Enter Mignion ET, in a violent hurry. Thence flows the gay chat, more than reason that Mign. My dear madam, I am frighted out of charms ;

my senses. The poor lady-Where are the The eloquent blush, that can beauty improve ; hartshorn drops? The fond sigh, the fond vow, the soft touch that Love. The lady! what lady? alarms;

Mign. Never stand asking what lady. She has The tender disdain, the renewal of love. fainted away all on a sudden : she is now in

strong hysterics; give me the drops. Ye fair, take the cestus, and practise its power :

Mirs Bel. I must run to her assistance. Adieu, The mind unaccomplished, mere features are

my lord.

I shall be at home in the evening, vain ;

Mignionet, step this way. Your lordship will W'ith wit, with good humour, enliven each hour, excuse me: I shall expect to see you. Come, And the loves, and the graces, shall walk in Mignionet; make haste, make haste.

[Erit aith MiGXIONET.

Love. I hope the lady has not overheard me? Love. My poetry is infinitely obliged to you. What a villain am I to carry on this scheme It grows into sense as you sing it. Your voice, against so much beauty, innocence, and merit! like the cestus of Venus, bestows a grace upon And to wear this badge of honour for the darkevery thing.

est purposes ! And, then, my friend, sir Brilliant, Mrs Bel. Oh! fulsome; I sing horridly. [Goes will it be fair to supplant bim? Prithee, he quiet, to the glass.] How do I look ?-Don't tell me, my dear conscience ! none of your meddling ! my lord :

: you are studying a compliment, but I don't interrupt a gentleman in his pleasures.am resolved to mortify you; I won't hear it. Don't you know, my good friend, that love has Well! have you thought of any thing? Let it no respect for persons, but soars above all laws pass; 'tis too late now. Pray, my lord, how of honour and of friendship? No reflection; came you to choose so grave a subject as connu have ber I must, and that quickly, too, or she bial happiness?

will discover all. Besides, this is iny wife's Love. Close and particular that question ! fault: why does she not make home agreeable?

[ Aside. I am willing to be happy; I could be constant to Airs Bcl. Juno! Hymen! doubts and prins! her, but she is not formed for happiness. —

your train.



for you.

on it

What the devil is Madam Fortune about now? | Mrs Bel. Is unseasonable, and yours is so [Sir BRILLIANT sings within.] Sir Brilliant, by now. How can you tease me? all that's infamous ! Confusion ! no place to Sir Bril. I thought as much. There are some hide me? no escape! The door is locked. Mig- things that may require to be discussed between nionet, Mignionet, open the door.

Mig. [Within.) You must not come in here. Mrs Bel. Reserve them all for another time: Love. What shall I do? This star, and this I can't hear you now.

You must leave me.--ribbon will bring me to disgrace. Away with There is a lady taken ill in the next room. this tell-tale evidence! [Takes off the ribbon,} Sir Bril. And here has been a gentleman taGo, thou blushing devil, and hide thyself for ken ill in this room.

(Puts it in his pocket. Mrs Bell. How troublesome! you must be Enter Sir BRILLIANT, singing.

gone. Do you dispute my will and pleasure?

Fly this moment! Sir Bril. Mrs Bellmour, I have such a story Sir Bril. But, madam-Nay, if you insist upHow! Lovemore?

(Goes. Love. Your slave, sir Brilliant; your slave. Mrs Bell. But, sir! I will be absolute : you

[Hiding the star with his hat. must leave me. [Puts him out.] There, and now Sir Bril. I did not think you had been ac I'll make sure of the door. quainted here. Love. You are right. I came in quest of you.

Enter Mrs LoveMORE, leaning on MIGNIONET. I saw the lady. I was drawn hither by mere cu Align. This way, madam : here is more air in riosity. We have had soine conversation; and this room. I made it subservient to your purposes. I have Mre Bell. How do you find yourself? Pray, been giving a great character of you.

sit down. Sir Bril. You are alwavs at the service of Mrs Love. My spirits were too weak. I your friends. But what's the matter? what are could not support it any longer; such a scene of you fumbling about?

[Pulls the hat. perfidy! Love. 'Sdeath! have a care : don't touch me. Hir's Bell. You astonish me! what perfidy?

[Puts his hundkerchief to his breust. Mrs Love. Perfidy of the blackest dye; I told Sir Bril. What the devil is the matter?


you were acquainted with my husband? Love. Oh! keep off-[ Aside.] Here's a busi Mrx Bel. Acquainted with your husband ! Taken in the old way: let me pass---I

Angrily. have had a fling at lord Etheridge: he will be Mrs Love. A moment's patience--Yes, maout of favour with the widow: I have done you dam, you are acquainted with himn. The base that good. Racks and torments, my old com man, who went hence but now plaint !

[Iunting to pass him. Mrs Bell. Sir Brilliant Fashion? Sir Bril What complaint? You had better sit Mrs Love. No; your lord Etheridge, as he down.

calls himself Love. No, no; air, the air. I must have a Mrs Bell. Lord Etheridge? What of him, surgeon. A stroke of a tennis-ball! My lord pray ? Rackett's unlucky left-hand.

Mrs Love. False, dissembling man! he is my There is something forming here. [Passes him.] husband, madam : not lord Etheridge, but plain To be caught is the devil. [Aside.] Don't men- Dr Lovemore; my Mr Loremore. tion my name. You will counteract all I have Mrs Bel. And has he been base enough to assaid. Oh! torture, torture! I will explain to sume a title to ensnare me to iny undoing? you another time. Sir Brilliant, yours. I have Mign. [Going] Well, for certain, I believe served your interest-Oh! there is certainly the devil's in ine : I always thouglat him a sly something forming. [Erit. one.

[Erit. Sir Bril. What does all this mean? So, so, Mrs Love. To see him carrying on this dark Mrs Lovemore's suspicions are well-founded. - design—to see the man whom I have ever esThe widow has her private visits, I see. Yes, teemned and loved—the man whom I must still yes; there is something forining here.

love--esteem him, I fear, I never can—to see him

before my face with that artful treachery! it Enter Mrs BELLMOUR.

was too much for sensibility like mine; I felt the

shock too severely, and I sunk under it. So; here she comes: The whole shall be ex Mrs Bel. I am ready to sink this moment plained. I hope, madam, that I don't interrupt with amazement ! I saw him, for the first time, you with any piquet-friend.

at old Mrs Loveit's. She introduced him to me. Alrs Bell. You are always a torment: what The appointment was of her own making. brings you hither?

Mrs Love. You know Mrs Loveit's character, . Sir Bril. There are times, madam, when a vi- I suppose ? sit

Mirs Bell. The practised veteran! Could I


Let me pass,

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