suspect that a woman, in her style of life, would lend herself to a vile stratagem against my honour? That she would join in a conspiracy against her own sex? Mr Lovemore shall never enter these doors again-I anı obliged to you, madam, for this visit; to me a providential incident. I am sorry for your share in it. The discovery secures my peace and happiness; to you it is a fatal conviction, a proof unanswerable against the person to whom you are joined for life. Mrs Love. After this discovery, it cannot be for life. I am resolved not to pass another day under his roof, Mrs Bell, Hold, hold! no sudden resolutions. Consider a little: passion is a bad adviser. This may take a turn for your advantage. Mrs Love. That can never be: I am lost beyond redemption. Mrs Bell Don't decide too rashly. Come, come, the man, who has certain qualities, is worth thinking about, before one throws the hideous thing away for ever, Mr Lovemore is a traitor; but is not he still amiable? And, besides, you have heard his sentiments. That song points at something. Perhaps, you are a little to blame. He did not write upon such a subject, without a cause to suggest it. We will talk over this matter coolly. You have saved me, and I must return the obligation. You shall stay dinner with me. Mrs Love. Excuse me. Mr Lovemore may possibly go home. He shall hear of his guilt, while the sense of it pierces here, and wounds me to the quick. Mrs Bell. Now, there you are wrong: take my advice first. I will lay such a plan as may ensure him yours for ever. Come, come, you must not leave me yet. [Takes her hand.] Answer me one question: don't you still think he has qualities that do, in some sort, apologize for his vices? Mrs Love. I don't know what to think of it: I hope he has. Mrs Bell. Very well, then. I have lost a lover; you may gain one. Your conduct upon this occasion may reform him; and let me tell you, that the man, who has it in his power to atone for his faults, should not be entirely despised. Let the wife exert herself; let her try her powers of pleasing, and, take my word for it, The wild gallant no more abroad will roam, But find his loved variety at home. ACT IV. [Exeunt Mrs Love. And that, to be sure, engrossed all SCENE I.-An apartment in LOVEMORE'S your time. Business must be minded. Did you house. MR and MRS LOVEMORE at table af-find him at home? ter dinner servants taking things out of the room. Love. [Filling a glass.] I wonder you are not tired of the same eternal topic. [Sipping his wine. Mrs Love. If I make it an eternal topic, it is for your own good, Mr Lovemore. Love. I know I have your good wishes, and you have mine. All our absent friends, Mrs Lovemore. [Drinks. Mrs Love. If you would but wish well to yourself, sir, I should be happy.But, in the way you go on, your health must be ruined; day is night, and night day; your substance squandered; your constitution destroyed; and your family quite neglected. Love. Family neglected! You see I dined at home, and this is my reward for it. Mrs Love. You dined at home, sir, because something abroad has disconcerted you. You went, I suppose, after I saw you at Lady Constant's, to your old haunt, your friend, Mrs Loveit Love. Mrs Loveit! ha! ha! I dropt her acquaintance long ago. No, my love, I drove into the city, and spent the rest of the morning upon business. I had long accounts to settle with old Discount, the banker, Love. It was by his own appointment. I went to his house directly after I parted from you. I have been no where else. Matters of account always fatigue me. Mrs Love. I would not be too inquisitive, sir. Love. Oh, no; you never are. I staid at the banker's the rest of the time; and I came straight from his house to have the pleasure of dining with you. [Fills a glass of wine. Mrs Love. Were there any sincerity in that declaration, I should be happy. A tavern life has hitherto been your delight. I wonder what delight you can find in such an eternal round of gaming, riot, and dissipation. Will you answer me one question? Love. With great pleasure-[Aside.]-if it is not inconvenient. Mrs Love. Lay your hand on your heart, and tell me -Have I deserved this usage? Love. My humble service to you, my love. [Drinks. Mrs Love. I am sure I have never been de ficient in any one point of the duty I owe you, You won my heart, and I gave it freely. Love. [going to sleep.] It is very true. have known no pleasure unconnected with your happiness. Diversions, show, and pomp, have had no allurements for me. Love. [Dropping asleep.] Yes-you are right -just as you please Mrs Love. Had I been inclined to follow the example of other women, your fortune would have felt it before now. You might have been thousands out of pocket; but your interest has been the object of my attention; and your con enience Love. [Turns his chair from her.] You reason very- -you reason admirably- -admir— ably- -al-ways- al-ways- -gay-and enter-entertaining[Going to sleep. Mrs Love. Marriage is generally considered as an introduction to the great scene of the world. I thought it a retreat to less noisy and serener pleasures. What is called polite company [He falls fast asleep.] was not my taste. You was lavish in expence ; I was, therefore, an economist. From the moment marriage made me yours, the pleasure arising from your company- -There! fast asleep! Agreeable company indeed!-This is ever his way. [She rises.] Unfeeling man! It is too plain that I am grown his aversion. Mr Lovemore! [Looking at him.] you little think what a scene this day has brought to light-And yet he hopes with falsehood to varnish and disguise his treachery. How mean the subterfuge! shall I rouse him now, and tax him with his guilt! My heart is too full reproach will only tend to exasperate, and perhaps make him irreconcilable. The pride that can stoop to low and wretched artifice, but ill can brook detection. Let him rest for the present. The widow Bellmour's experiment may answer better-I will try it, at least Oh! Mr Lovemore, you will break my heart! [Looks at him, and exit. Love. [Talking in his sleep.] I do listen-I am not asleep. [Sleeps and nods.] You are very right-always right-I am only thinking a little. No-no-no----[Mutters indistinctly.] It was not two o'clock-in bed-in bed by twelveSir Bashful is an oaf-The widow Bellmour[Sleeps, and his head rolls about.]-What's the matter? [Waking.] I beg your pardon; I was beginning to nod. What did you say, my dear? [Leans on the table, without looking about.] One cannot always, you know-[Turns about.] 'Sdeath! she is gone! Oh! fast asleep. This is ever the way when one dines at home. Let me shake it off. [Rises.] What's o'clock?-No amusement in this house; what shall I do? The widow?-I must not venture in that quarter. My evil genius, sir Brilliant, will be busy there. Is any body in the way? I must sally out. My dear Venus, favour your votary this afternoon. -Your best arms employ, [Exit. 6 SCENE II.-Changes to SIR BASHFUL'S. Enter LADY CONSTANT and FURNISH. Lady Con. Who brought this letter? Fur. A servant of Mrs Lovemore's: he waits an answer. Lady Con. My compliments to Mrs Lovemore, and I shall wait upon her. Fur. Yes, madam. [Going. Lady Con. And hark ye, Furnish ?-have the things been carried to sir Brilliant, as I ordered? Fur. I have obeyed your ladyship's commands. The steward went himself. Mr Pounce, your ladyship knows, is a trusty body. You may depend upon his care. Lady Con. Go, and send Mrs Lovemore her answer. She may depend upon my being with her in time. [Exit FURNISH.] What can Mrs. Lovemore want? [Reads - Ladyship's company to a card-party; but cards are the least part of my object. I have something of higher moment in view, and the presence of my friends is 'absolutely necessary.' There is some mystery in this. What does she mean? I shall go, and then the scene will clear up: those diamond buckles embarrass me more than Mrs Lovemore's unintelligible letter. Diamond buckles to me! From what quarter? Who could send them? Nobody but sir Brilliant. I am right in my conclusion: they came from him. Who could take the liberty but a person of his cast? A presuming man! But I have mortified his vanity. Before this time, he has found his diamonds thrown back upon his hands, with the disdain which such confidence deserves—But if I have made a mistake!-Oh! no; no danger. Has not sir Brilliant made overtures to me? Has not he declared himself? He sees sir Bashful's behaviour, and his vanity plumes itself upon that circumstance. To give me my revenge against a crazy and insufferable husband, he would fain induce me to ruin myself with a coxcomb. Besides, he heard the whole of sir Bashful's dispute about diamonds and trinkets: the thing is clear; it was sir Brilliant sent them; and, by that stratagem, he hopes to bribe me into complianceThat bait will never take; though here comes one, who, I am sure, deserves to be treated without a grain of ceremony. Enter SIR BASHFUL. Sir Bash. Here she is. Now, let me see whe ther she will take any notice of the present I sent her. She has reason to be in good humour, I think-Your servant, madam. Lady Con. Your address is polite, sir. Sir Bash. [Aside.] Still proud and obstinate!— Has any thing happened to disturb the harmony of your temper? Lady Con. Considering what little discord you make, it is a wonder that my temper is not always in tune. Sir Bash. If you never gave me cause, madam Lady Con. Oh! for mercy's sake, truce with altercation. I am tired out with the eternal violence of your temper. Those frequent starts of passion hurry me out of my senses: and those unaccountable whims, that hold such constant possession of you Sir Bash. Whims, madam?-Not to comply with you in every thing, is a whim, truly! Must I yield to the exorbitant demands of your extravagance? When you laid close siege to me for diamond baubles, and I know not what, was that a whim of mine? Did I take that fancy into my head without cause, and without sufficient founda tion? Lady Con. Well, we have exhausted the subject. Have not you told me a thousand times, that there is no living with me? I agree to it. And have not. I returned the compliment? We have nothing new to say; and now, all that remains, is to let the lawyer reduce to writing our mutual opinions, and so we may part with the pleasure of giving each other a most woful cha racter. Sir Bash. [Aside.] The buckles have had no effect. Stubborn! she has received them, and won't own it. Lady Con. A dash of your pen, sir, at the foot of certain articles now preparing, will make us both easy. [Going. Sir Bash. If we don't live happily, it is your own fault. Lady Con. That is very odd. Sir Bash. If you would control your passion for play Lady Con. Quite threadbare!, Sir Bash. I have still a regard for you. Lady Con. Worn-out to frippery!-I can't hear any more. The law will dress it up in new language for us, and that will end our differences. [Exit. Sir Bash. [Alone.] I must unburthen my heart: there is no time to be lost. I love her; I adınire her; she inflames my tenderest passions, and raises such a conflict here in my very heart, I cannot any longer conceal the secret from her. I'll go and tell her all this moment.-But then, that meddling fiend, her maid, will be there: po! I can turn her out of the room: but then, the jade will suspect something. Her ladyship may be alone: I'll send to know where she is. Who is there? Sideboard Side. I thought your honour called. Sir Bash. [Aside.A thought comes across me; I'll write her a letter. Yes, yes, a letter will do the business. Sideboard, draw that table this way- Reach me a chair. Side. There, your honour. Sir Bash. Do you stay while I write a letter. You shall carry it for me. [Sits down to write. Side. Yes, sir. I hope he has an intrigue upon his hands. A servant thrives under a master that has his private amusements. Love on, say I, if you are so given; it will bring grist to my mill. Sir Bash. [Writing.] This will surprise her. Warm, passionate, and tender! and yet it does not come up to what I feel. Side. What is he at?-I may as well read the news-paper. [Takes it out of his pocket.] What, in the name of wonder, is all this?- -Ha, ba! [Bursts into a loud laugh.] I never heard the like of this before. Oh, ho, ho, ho! Sir Bash. What does the scoundrel mean? [Stares at him. Side. Ha, ha ha! I can't help laughing. Sir Bash. Does the villain suspect me? [Rises.] Hark ye, sirrah, if ever I find that you dare listea at any door in my house Side. Sir! Sir Bash. Confess the truth: have not you been listening to my conversation with Mr Lovemore this morning? Side. Who, I, sir? I would not be guilty of such a thing: I never did the like in all my days. Sir Bash. What was you laughing at? Side. A foolish thing in the newspaper, sir, that's all. I'il read it to your honour. [Reads.] We hear that a new comedy is now in rehearsal, and will speedily be performed, entitled, Amorous Husband; or, The Man in Love with his own Wife.' The Sir Bash. And what do you see to laugh at? Side. See, sir? I have lived in a great manyfamilies, and never heard of the like before. Sir Bash. [Aside.] There, there, there!—I shall be the butt of my own servants.----Sirrah, leave the room. And let me never hear that you have the trick of listening in my house. Side. No, sir-The Man in love with his own Wife! [Exit laughing. Sir Bash. What does the varlet mean?-No matter-I have finished my letter, and it shall be sent this moment.————— But then, if I should get into a comedy? Po! no more scruples. I'll scal it directly-Sideboard— Enter SIDEBOARD, Sir Bash. [Sealing the letter.] I have opened my heart to her. What do you bring your hat and stick for? Side. To go out with your honour's letter. Sir Bash. You have not far to go. Take this, and let nobody see you. Side. Very well, sir. Does he think to manage his own intrigues? If he takes my commission out of my hands, I shall give him warning. The vices of our masters are all the vails a poor servant has left. [Exit. Sir Bash. What must be done? Mr Lovemore, could conduct this business for me. He is a man of address, and knows all the approaches to a woman's heart. That fellow Sideboard coming again? No, no; this is lucky. Mr Lovemore, I am glad to see you. Enter LOVEMORE. Love. A second visit, you see, in one day; entirely on the score of friendship. You shall Sir Bash. That's what alarmed me. Love. No; that won't do. Give her a letter under your hand! I'll speak to her for you: let me try how her pulse beats. Sir Bash. But a letter may draw an answer from her, and then you know-[Smiling at him.] -I shall have it under her hand. Love. I don't like this hurry: we had better take time to consider of it. Sir Bash. No: I cannot defer the business of my heart a single moment. It burns like a fever here. Sit down, and write the direction; I'l step and send the servant. He shall carry it, as if it were a letter from yourself. Enter SIDEBOARD. Side. Sir Brilliant Fashion is below, sir. Love. What brings him? He will only interrupt us. Go, and talk to him, sir Bashful; hear what he has to say; amuse him; any thing, rather than let him come up. Sir Bash. I am gone: he shan't molest you. [Exit with SIDEBOARD. Love. Fly! make haste; and don't let him know that I am here. A lucky accident this! I have gained time by it. All matters were in a right train, and he himself levelling the road for me, and now this letter blows me up into the air at once. Some unlucky planet rules to-day.— Love. I broke away from the company at the First, the widow Bellmour; a hair-breadth escape St Alban's, on purpose to attend you. Well, II had of it, and now almost ruined here! What, have made your lady easier in her mind, have not I? Sir Bash. And I thank you for it; heartily thank you. Sir Bash. We don't hit it at all, Mr Lovemore? Sir Bash. I think she has been rather worse since you spoke to her. in the name of wonder, has he writ to her? Friendship and wafer, by your leave. But, will that be delicate? Po! honour has always a great deal to preach upon these occasions; but then, the business of my love! Very true; the passions need but say a word, and their business is done. [Aside.[Opens the letter, and reads.]—This must neSir Bash. She has received the diamond ver reach her. I'll write a letter from myself.buckles. They were delivered to her maid, seal-[Sits down, writes, and starts up.]—I hear him ed up, and the man never staid to be asked a question. I saw them in her own hand; but not a syllable escaped her. She was not in the least softened; obstinate as a mule ! Love. A good symptom that. Love. The manner of conveying your presents was not well judged. Why did you not make me the bearer? Sir Bash. I wish I had. She talks of parting; and so, to avoid coming to extremities, I have even thought of telling her the whole truth at once. Love. How? Acquaint her with your passion? Sir Bash. Ay, and trust to her honour. I could not venture to speak; I should blush, and faulter, and look silly; and so I have writ a letter to her. Here it is, signed and sealed, but not directed. I got into a puzzle about that. Servants, you know, are always putting their own construction upon things. Love. No doubt: and then your secret flics all ever the town. coming: no; all's safe.-[Writes.]-This will do: Enter SIR BASHFUL. room, Sir Bash. Take it to her; make haste; begone! [Exit SIDEBOARD.] I hope this will succeed: I shall be for ever obliged to you, and so will her ladyship. Love. I hope she will, and I shall be proud to serve her. Sir Bash. You are very good. She won't prove ungrateful, I dare answer for her. I should like to see how she receives the letter. The door is conveniently open. I will have a peep. Ay, there; there she sits. Love. Where, sir Bashful? Sir Bash. Hush! no noise. There, do you see her? She has the letter in her hand-This is a critical moment: I am all over in a tremble. Love. Silence! not a word. She opens it.[Aside.] Now, my dear Cupid, befriend me now, and your altar shall smoke with incense. Sir Bash. She colours. Love. I take it more to heart than you are aware of. Sir Bash. This is mortifying; enough to make one ashamed all the rest of one's life. Love. I did not expect this sullen ill-humour. Sir Bash. Did you ever know so obstinate, so uncomplying a temper? Enter SIR BRILLIANT. Sir Bril. Sir Bashful, I forgot to tell youLove. He again! he haunts me up and down, as Vice did the devil, with a dagger of lath, in [Aside. the old comedy. Sir Bril. Hey! what's the matter? You seem both out of humour: what does this mean? Have you quarrelled? Sir Bush. No, sir, no quarrel :—Why would [Aside. my booby servant let him in again? Sir Bril. Strike me stupid, but you look very queer upon it! Lovemore is borrowing money, İ suppose. Sir Bashful is driving a hard bargain, and you can't agree about the premium. Sir Bashful, let my friend Lovemore have the mo Love. I like that rising blush: a soft and ten- ney. der token. Sir Bash. She turns pale. Love. The natural working of the passions. Sir Bash. And now she reddens again. What is she at now? There, she has torn the letter in two: I am a lost, an undone man! [Walks away. Love. She has flung it away with indignation: I am undone, too. [Aside, and walks away from the door. Sir Bash. Mr Lovemore, you see what it is all come to. Love. I am sorry to see so haughty a spirit. Sir Bash. An arrogant, ungrateful woman, to make such a return to so kind a letter! Love. Ay, so kind a letter! Sir Bash. Did you ever see such an insolent scorn? Love. I never was so disappointed in all my life. Sir Bash. A letter full of the tendercst protestations! Love. Yes; an unreserved declaration of love! Sir Bash. Made with the greatest frankness; throwing myself at her very feet. Love. Did she once smile? was there the faintest gleam of approbation in her countenance? Sir Bash. She repaid it all with scorn, with pride, contempt, and insolence. I cannot bear this; despised, spurned, and treated like a puppy. Love. There it stings-like a puppy, indeed! Sir Bash. Is there a thing in nature so mortifying to the pride of man, as to find one's self rejected and despised by a fine woman, who is conscious of her power, and triumphs in her cruelty? Love. It is the most damnable circumstance! Sir Bash. My dear Mr Lovemore, I am obliged to you for taking this matter so much to heart. Sir Bash. Money !—what does he mean? Sir Bril. Both out of humour, I see: well, as you will. You have no reason to be in harmony with yourselves; my stars shine with a kinder aspect. Here, here, behold a treasury of love! I came back on purpose to shew it to you. [Takes a shagreen case out of his pocket.] See what a present I have received; a magnificent pair of diamond buckles, by all that's amiable! Love. How? Sir Bash. [Walking up to him.] A pair of diamond buckles! Sir Bril. How such a present should be sent to me, is more than I can explain at present. Perhaps my friend, Lovemore, gained some intelligence in the quarter where I surprised him to-day, on a visit which I little suspected. Love. That was to serve you: I know nothing of this business. Sir Bril. The pain in your side, I hope, is bet ter? Love. Po! this is only to distract your attention, sir Bashful. Sir Bash. So I suppose. And was this a present to you? Sir Bril. A present, sir. The consequence of having some tolerable phrase, a person, and a due degree of attention to the service of the ladies. Don't you envy me, sir Bashful? Sir Bash. I can't but say I do. [Turns to LoVEMORE. My buckles, by all that's false in |