Sir Bril. She won't tell her husband!——A Go, my heart's envoys; tender sighs, make haste— Pant on thy lip, and to thy heart be pressed. Enter MR LOVEmore. Love. Very well!-leave the room. Mus. The devil fetch it, I was never so out in my politics in all my days. [Erit Mus. Love. A pretty epistle truly! [Reads.]' When • you command me, my dearest Mrs Lovemore, never to touch again upon the subject of love, you command an impossibility. You excite the flame, and forbid it to burn. Permit me once more to throw myself on my knees, and implore your compassion.'- -Compassion, with a vengeance on him!Think you see me now, with tender, melting, supplicating eyes, languishing at your feet.'- -Very well, sir--- Can you find it in your heart to persist in cruelty?-Grant me but access to you once more, and, in addi'tion to what I already said this morning, I will I urge such motives.'-Urge motives, will ye?— as will convince you, that you should no longer hesitate, in gratitude, to reward him, who here 'makes a vow of eternal constancy and love. BRILLIANT FASHION.' So, so, so your very humble servant, sir Brilliant Fashion!-This is your friendship for me, Love. Don't add the meanness of falsehood to is it? You are mighty kind, indeed, sir-but I the black attempt of invading the happiness of thank you as much as if you had really done me your friend. I did imagine, sir, from the long the favour and, Mrs Lovemore, I'm your hum-intercourse that has subsisted between us, that ble servant, too. She intends to laugh all the you might have had delicacy enough, feeling rest of her life! This letter will change her note. enough, honour enough, sir, not to meditate an Yonder she comes along the gallery, and sir Bril-injury like this. liant in full chase of her. They come this way. Could I but detect them both now! I'll step aside, and who knows but the devil may tempt them to their undoing. A polite husband I am : there's the coast clear for you, madam. [Exit. Enter MRS LOVEMORE and SIR BRILLIANT. Mrs Love. I have already told you my mind, sir Brilliant. Your civility is odious; your compliments fulsome; and your solicitations insultIng.- -I must make use of harsh language, sir: you provoke it. Love. Hell and distraction! this is too much. Sir Bril. What the devil's the matter now? [Kneels down to buckle his shoe.] This confounded buckle is always plaguing me. Lovemore! I rejoice to see thee. [Looking at each other. Love. And have you the confidence to look me in the face? : Sir Bril. Not retiring to solitude and discontent again, I hope, madam! Have a care, my dear Mrs Lovemore, of a relapse. Mrs Love. No danger, sir: don't be too solicitous about me. Why leave the company? Let me intreat you to return, sir. Sir Bril. I was telling your lady here of the most whimsical adventure Sir Bril. Ay, it's all over, I am detected. [Aside.] Mr Lovemore, I feel that I have been wrong, and will not attempt a vindication of myself. We have been friends hitherto, and, if begging your pardon for this rashness will any ways atone Love. No, sir; nothing can atone. The provocation you have given me would justify my drawing upon you this instant, did not that lady, and this roof, protect you. Sir Bril. Harsh language to a friend- Love. Honour! for shame, sir Brilliant! honour and friendship are sacred words, and you profane them both. Sir Bril. If imploring forgiveness of that lady Love. That lady !—I desire you will never Sir Bril. By Heaven, there is more rapture in being one moment vis-a-vis with you, than in the company of a whole drawing-room of beauties. Round you are melting pleasures, tender trans-speak to that lady. ports, youthful loves, and blooming graces, all unfelt, neglected, and despised, by a tasteless, cold, unimpassioned husband, while they might be all so much better employed to the purposes of ecstacy and bliss. Mrs Love. I am amazed, sir, at this liberty.What action of my life has authorized this assurance!- -I desire, sir, you will desist. Were I not afraid of the ill consequences that might follow, I should not hesitate a moment to acquaint Mr Lovemore with your whole behaviour. Sir Bril. Can you command a moment's pa tience? Love. Sir, I am out of all patience: this must be settled between us: I have done for the pre sent. Enter SIR BASHFUL. Sir Bash. Did not I hear loud words among you? I certainly did. What are you quarrelling about? Love. Read that, sir Bashful. [Gives him S13 BRILLIANT'S letter.] Read that, and judge if I have not cause- [SIR BASHFUL reads to himself. Sir Bril. Hear but what I have to sayLove. No, sir, no; we shall find a fitter time. As for you, madam, I am satisfied with your conduct. I was, indeed, a little alarmed, but I have been a witness of your behaviour, and I am above harbouring low suspicious. Sir Bash. Upon my word, Mr Lovemore, this is carrying the jest too far. Love. It is the basest action a gentleman can be guilty of; and, to a person who never injured him, still more criminal. Sir Bash. Why, so I think. Sir Brilliant, [To him, aside.] here, take this letter, and read it to him-his own letter to my wife. Sir Bril. Let me see it- [Takes the letter. Sir Bash. 'Tis indeed, as you say, the vilest action a gentleman can be guilty of. Love. An unparalleled breach of friendship. Sir Bril. Not altogether so unparalleled: I believe it will not be found without a precedentas, for example [Reads. To my LADY CONSTANT'Why should I conceal, my dear madam, that your charins have awakened my tenderest pas •sion?' Love. Confusion !-my letter- [Aside. Sir Bril. [Reading] I long have loved you, long adored. Could I but flatter myself— [LOVEMORE walks about uneasy; SIR BRILLIANT follows him.] Sir Bash. There, Mr Lovemore, the basest treachery! Sir Bril. [Reads.] Could I but flatter myself with the least kind return.' Love. Confusion! let me seize the letter out of his hand. [Snatches it from him. Sir Bash. An unparalleled breach of friendship, Mr Lovemore. Love. All a forgery, sir; all a forgery. Sir Bash. That I deny; it is the very identical letter my lady threw away with such indignation. She tore it in two, and I have pieced it together. Love. A mere contrivance to varnish his guilt. Sir Bril. Ha, ha! my dear Lovemore, we know one another. Have not you been at the same work with the widow Bellmour? Love. The widow Bellmour!-If I spoke to her, it was to serve you, sir. Sir Bril. Are you sure of that? Love. Po! I won't stay a moment longer among ye. I'll go into another room to avoid ye all. I know little or nothing of the widow Bellmour, sir. [Opens the door. Enter MRS BELLMOUR. Hell and destruction!--what fiend is conjured up here? Zoons! let me make my escape out of the house. [Runs to the opposite door. Mrs Love. I'll secure this pass: you must not go, my dear. Mrs Bel. My lord, my lord Etheridge; I am heartily glad to see your lordship. [Taking hold of him. Mrs Love. Do, my dear, let me introduce this lady to you. Love. Here's the devil and all to do! [Aside. Mrs Bell. My lord, this is the most fortunate encounter. Love. I wish I was fifty miles off.- [Aside. Mrs Love. Mrs Bellmour, give me leave to introduce Mr Lovemore to you. [Turning him to her. Mrs Bell. No, my dear madam, let me introduce lord Etheridge to you. [Pulling him.] My lord this? up. Sir Bril. In the name of wonder, what is all Sir Bash. This is another of his intrigues blown Mrs Love. My dear madam, you are mistaken: this is my husband. Mrs Bell. Pardon me, madam; 'tis my lord Etheridge. Mrs Love. My dear, how can you be so illbred in your own house?—Mrs Bellmour—this is Mr Lovemore. Love. Are you going to toss me in a blanket, madam?-call up the rest of your people, if you are. Mrs Bell. Pshaw ! prithee now, my lord, leave off your humours. Mrs Lovemore, this is my lord Etheridge, a lover of mine, who has made proposals of marriage to me. furies. Love. Confusion! let me get rid of these two [Breaks away from them. Sir Bash. He has been tampering with her, too, has he? Mrs Bell. [Follows him.] My lord, I say! my Lord Etheridge! won't your lordship know me? Love. This is the most damnable accident! [Aside. Mrs Bell. I hope your lordship has not forgot your appointment at my house this evening? Love. I deserve all this. [Aside. Mrs Bell. Pray, my lord, what have I done, that you treat me with this coldness? Come, come, you shall have a wife: I will take compassion on you. Love. Damnation! I can't stand it. [Aside. Sir Bash. Murder will out: murder will out. Mrs Bel. Come, cheer up, my lord: what the deuce, your dress is altered! what's become of the star and ribband? And so the gay, the florid, the magnifique lord Etheridge, dwindles down into plain Mr Lovemore, the married man! Mr Lovemore, your most obedient, very humble servant, Love. I can't bear to feel myself in so ridiculous a circumstance. [Aside. Sir Bush. He has been passing himself for a lord, has he? Mrs Bell. I beg my compliments to your friend Mrs Loveit: I am much obliged to you both for your very honourable designs. [Curtseying to him. Love. I was never so ashamed in all my life! Sir Bril. So, so, so, all his pains were to hide the star from me. This discovery is a perfect cordial to my dejected spirits. Mrs Bel. Mrs Lovemore, I cannot sufficiently acknowledge the providence that directed you to pay me a visit, though I was wholly unknown to you; and I shall henceforth consider you as my deliverer. Love. So it was she that fainted away in the closet, and be damned to her jealousy! [Aside. Sir Bril. By all that's whimsical, an odd sort of an adventure this! My lord, [Advances to him.] my lord, my lord Etheridge, as the man says in the play, Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark.' Love. Now he comes upon me.-Oh! I'm in a fine situation! [Aside. Sir Bril. My lord, I hope that ugly pain in your lordship's side is abated. Love. Absurd, and ridiculous. [Aside. Sir Bril. There is nothing forming there, I hope, my lord? sir. Love. I shall come to an explanation with you, Sir Bril. The tennis-ball from lord Racket's unlucky left hand. Love. No more at present, sir Brilliant. I leave you now to yourselves, and-[Goes to the door in the back scene.]-'sdeath, another fiend! I am beset by them. Enter LADY CONSTANT. No way to escape? [Attempts both stage doors, and is prevented. Lady Con. Mr Lovemore, it is the luckiest thing in the world, that you are come home. Love. Ay; it is all over-all must come to light. Lady Con. I have lost every rubber; quite broke; four by honours against me every time. Do, Mr Lovemore, lend me another hundred. Love. I would give an hundred pounds you were all in Lapland. [Aside. Lady Con. Mrs Lovemore, let me tell you, you are married to the falsest man; he has deceived me strangely. Mrs Love. I begin to feel for him, and to pity his uneasiness. Mrs Bell. Never talk of pity; let him probed to the quick. Love. I'll turn the tables upon sir Bashful, for all this-[Takes SIR BASHFUL's letter out of his pocket.]-where is the mighty harm now in this letter? Sir Bash. Where's the harm? Love. [Reads.] I cannot, my dearest life, any 'longer behold' Sir Bash. Shame and confusion! I am undone! [Aside. Love. Hear this, sir Bashful The manifold vexations, of which, through a false prejudice, I am myself the occasion.' Lady Con. What is all this? [Aside. Love. Mind, sir Bashful. I am therefore resolved, after many conflicts with myself, to 'throw off the mask, and frankly own a passion, 'which the fear of falling into ridicule, has, in appearance, suppressed." 6 Sir Bash. 'Sdeath! I'll hear no more of it. [Snatches at the letter. Love. No, sir; I resign it here, where it was directed; and, with it, these notes which sir Bashful gave me for your use. Lady Con. It is his hand, sure enough. Love. Yes, madam, and those are his sentiments, which he explained to me more at large. Lady Con. [Reads.] Accept the presents 'which I myself have sent you; money, attendance, equipage, and every thing else you shall command; and, in return, I shall only entreat you to conceal from the world that you have raised a flame in this heart, which will ever show me, 6 Your admirer, Mrs Bell. I am glad to find you are awakened to a sense of your error. Love. I am, madam; and frank enough to own it. I am above attempting to disguise my feelbeings, when I am conscious they are on the side of truth and honour. With the sincerest remorse, I ask your pardon. I should ask pardon of my lady Constant, too; but the fact is, sir Bashful threw the whole affair in my way; and, when a Sir Bash. The case is pretty plain, I think, now, sir Brilliant? Sir Bril. Pretty plain, upon my soul! Ha, ha! husband will be ashamed of loving a valuable woman, he must not be surprised, if other people take her case into consideration, and love her for hiin. Sir Bril. Why, faith, that does, in some sort, make his apology. Sir Bush. Sir Bashful! sir Bashful! thou art ruined. Iside. Mrs Bell. Well, sir, upon certain terms, I don't know but I may sign and seal your pardon. Love. Terms! What terms? Mrs Bell. That you make due expiation of your guilt to that lady. [Pointing to MRS LOVE. Love. That lady, madam! That lady has no reason to complain. Mrs Love. No reason to complain, Mr Lovemore? Love. No, madam, none; for, whatever may have been my imprudencies, they have had their source in your conduct. Mrs Love. In my conduct, sir? Sir Bush. Give me your hand. I now forgive you all. My lady Constant, I own the letter; I own the sentiments of it [Embraces her.]; and, from this moment, I take you to my heart.Lovemore, zookers! you have made a man of me. Sir Brilliant, come; produce the buckles. Lady Con. If you hold in this humour, sir [Gives LADY CONSTANT the buckles. Love. In your conduct :-I here declare before Sir Bash. Ay, ay; make restitution. Lovethis company, and I am above misrepresenting more! this is the consequence of his having some the matter; I here declare, that no man in Eng-tolerable phrase, and a person, Mr Lovemore! land could be better inclined to domestic happi-ha, ha! ness, if you, madam, on your part, had been willing to make home agreeable. Mrs Love. There, I confess, he touches me. Sir Bril. Why, I own the laugh is against me. With all my heart; I am glad to see my friends happy at last. Lovemore, may I presume to hope for pardon at that lady's hands? [Points to Mrs Lovemore. Love. My dear confederate in vice, your pardon is granted. Two sad libertines we have been. But come, give us your hand: we have used each other scurvily for the future, we will endeavour to atone for the errors of our past misconduct. [Aside. Love. You could take pains enough before marriage; you could put forth all your charms; practise all your arts, aud make your features please by rule; for ever changing; running an eternal round of variety; and all this to win my affections: but when you had won them, you did not think them worth your keeping; never dressed, pensive, silent, melancholy; and the only entertainment in my house, was the dear pleasure of a dull conjugal tête-à-tête; and all this insipidity, Love. And now, I congratulate the whole combecause you think the sole merit of a wife con- pany, that this business has had so happy a tensists in her virtue: a fine way of amusing a hus-dency to convince each of us of our folly. band, truly! Sir Bril. Upon my soul, and so it is [Laughing. Mrs Love. Sir, I must own there is too much truth in what you say. This lady has opened my eyes, and convinced me there was a mistake in my former conduct. Love. Come, come; you need say no more. I forgive you; I forgive. Mrs Love. Forgive! I like that air of confidence, when you know that, on my side, it is, at worst, an error in judgment; whereas, on yours— Mrs Bell. Po! po! never stand disputing: you know each other's faults and virtues; you have nothing to do but to mend the former, and enjoy the latter. There, there; kiss and friends. There, Mrs Lovemore, take your reclaimed libertine to your arms. Love. Tis in your power, madam, to make a reclaimed libertine of me indeed. VOL. II. Sir Bril. Agreed; we will, henceforward, behave like men, who have not forgot the obligations of truth and honour. Mrs Bell. Pray, sir, don't draw me into a share of your folly. Love. Come, come, my dear madam, you are not without your share of it. This will teach you, for the future, to be content with one lover at a time, without listening to a fellow you know nothing of, because he assumes a title, and spreads a fair report of himself. Mrs Bell. The reproof is just; I grant it. Love. Come, let us join the company cheerfully, keep our own secrets, and not make ourselves the town-talk. Sir Bash. Ay, ay; let us keep the secret. Love. What, returning to your fears again? you will put me out of countenance, sir Bashful. Sir Bush. I have done. Love. When your conduct is fair and upright, never be afraid of ridicule. Real honour, and generous affection, may bid defiance to all the small wits in the kingdom. In my opinion, were 5 B the business of this day to go abroad into the world, it might prove a very useful lesson: the men would see how their passions may carry them into the danger of wounding the bosom of a friend and the ladies would learn, that, after the marriage rites are performed, they ought not to suffer their powers of pleasing to languish away, but should still remember to sacrifice to the graces. To win a man, when all your pains succeed, The WAY TO KEEP HIM, is a task indeed. [Exeunt omnes. |