the speedy progress of discontent and animosity | agree to pay down the gross sum of eighty thouthrough the whole family. sand pounds. Ster. Well! Ster. What the deuce is all this? I don't understand a single syllable. Sir John. Now if you will but consent to my Sir John. In one word then-it will be abso-waving that marriagelutely impossible for me to fulfil my engagements in regard to Miss Sterling. Ster. How, sir John! Do you mean to put an affront upon my family? What? refuse to Sir John. Be assured, sir, that I neither mean to affront, nor forsake your family. My only fear is, that you should desert me; for the whole happiness of my life depends on my being connected with your family, by the nearest and tenderest ties in the world. Ster. Why, did not you tell me, but a moment ago, that it was absolutely impossible for you to marry my daughter? Sir John. True. But you have another daughter, sir Ster. Well! Sir John. Who has obtained the most absolute dominion over my heart. I have already declared my passion to her; nay, Miss Sterling herself is also apprised of it; and if you will but give a sanction to my present addresses, the uncommon merit of Miss Sterling will, no doubt, recommend her to a person of equal, if not superior, rank to myself, and our families may still be allied by my union with Miss Fanny. Ster. Mighty fine, truly! Why, what the plague do you make of us, sir John? Do you come to market for my daughters, like servants at a statute-fair? Do you think that I will suffer you, or any man in the world, to come into my house, like the grand signior, and throw the handkerchief first to one, and then to t'other, just as he pleases? Do you think I drive a kind of African slave-trade with them? and Sir John. A moment's patience, sir! Nothing but the excess of my passion for Miss Fanny should have induced me to take any step that had the least appearance of disrespect to any part of your family; and, even now, I'am desirous to atone for my transgression, by making the most adequate compensation that lies in my power. Ster. Compensation! what compensation can you possibly make in such a case as this, sir John? Sir John. Come, come, Mr Sterling; I know you to be a man of sense, a man of business, a man of the world. I'll deal frankly with you; and you shall see, that I don't desire a change of measures for my own gratification, without endeavouring to make it advantageous to you. Ster. What advantage can your inconstancy be to me, sir John? Sir John. I'll tell you, sir. You know, that, by the articles at present subsisting between us, on the day of my inarriage with Miss Sterling, you Ster. I agree to your waving that marriage! Impossible, sir John! Sir John. I hope not, sir; as, on my part, I will agree to wave my right to thirty thousand pounds of the fortune I was to receive with her. Ster. Thirty thousand, d'ye say? Sir John. Yes, sir; and accept of Miss Fanny with fifty thousand, instead of fourscore. Ster. Fifty thousand [Pausing. Sir John. Instead of fourscore. Ster. Why-why---there may be something in that.--Let me see--Fanny with fifty thousand, instead of Betsy with fourscore.--But how can this be, sir John? For you know I am to pay this money into the hands of my lord Ogleby, who, I believe, between you and me, sir John, is not overstocked with ready money at present; and threescore thousand of it, you know, is to go to pay off the present incumbrances on the estate, sir John. Sir John. That objection is easily obviated.--Ten of the twenty thousand, which would remain as a surplus of the fourscore, after paying off the mortgage, was intended by his lordship for my use, that we might set off with some little eclat on our marriage, and the other ten for his own. --Ten thousand pounds, therefore, I shall be able to pay you immediately; and for the remaining twenty thousand, you shall have a mortgage on that part of the estate which is to be made over to me, with whatever security you shall require for the regular payment of the interest, till the principal is duly discharged. Ster. Why--to do you justice, sir John, there is something fair and open in your proposal; and since I find you do not mean to put an affront upon the family Sir John. Nothing was ever farther from my thoughts, Mr Sterling.--And, after all, the whole, affair is nothing extraordinary---such things happen every day; and, as the world has only heard generally of a treaty between the families, when this marriage takes place, nobody will be the wiser, if we have but discretion enough to keep our own counsel. Ster. True, true; and, since you only transfer from one girl to the other, it is no more than transferring so much stock, you know. Sir John. The very thing! Ster. Odso! I had forgot.--We are reckoning without our host here--there is another difficulty Sir John. You alarm me! What can that be? Ster. I can't stir a step in this business without consulting my sister Heidelberg.---The family has very great expectations from her, and we must not give her any offence. Sir John. But if you come into this measure, | surely she will be so kind as to consent Ster. I don't know that-Betsy is her darling, and I can't tell how far she may resent any slight that seems to be offered to her favourite niece. However, I'll do the best I can for you. You shail go and break the matter to her first; and by that time I may suppose that your rhetoric has prevailed on her to listen to reason, I will step in to reinforce your arguments. With all her arts she never could insinuate herself into my good graces; and yet she has a way with her, that deceives man, woman, and child, except you and me, niece. Miss Ster. O ay; she wants nothing but a crook in her hand, and a lamb under her arm, to be a perfect picture of innocence and simplicity. Mrs Heid. Just as I was drawn at Amsterdam, when I went over to visit my husband's re Sir John. I'll fly to her immediately; you pro-lations. mise me your assistance? Ster. I do. Sir John. Oh, I am dumb, I am dumb, sir. [Going. Ster. You'll remember it is thirty thousand? Sir John. To be sure I do. Ster. But, sir John! one thing more. [SIR JOHN returns. My lord must know nothing of this stroke of friendship between us. Sir John. Not for the world. Let me alone! let me alone! [Offering to go. Ster. [Holding him.] And when every thing is agreed, we must give each other a bond, to be held fast to the bargain. Sir John. To be sure. A bond by all means! a bond, or whatever you please. [Exit SIR JOHN hastily. Ster. I should have thought of more conditions ---he's in a humour to give me every thing-Why, what mere children are your fellows of quality, that cry for a plaything one minute, and throw it by the next! as changeable as the weather, and as uncertain as the stocks! Special fellows to drive a bargain! and yet they are to take care of the interest of the nation truly! Here does this whirligig man of fashion offer to give up thirty thousand pounds in hard money, with as much indifference as if it was a china orange. By this mortgage, I shall have a hold on his terra firma ; and, if he wants more money, as he certainly will---let him have children by my daughter or no, I shall have his whole estate in a net for the benefit of my family. Well, thus it is, that the children of citizens, who have acquired fortunes, prove persons of fashion; and thus it is, that persons of fashion, who have ruined their fortunes, reduce the next generation to cits. Miss Ster. And then, she's so mighty good to servants- pray, John, do this--pray, Tom, do that- thank you, Jenny;' and then, so humble to her relations--- to be sure, papa!--as my aunt pleases--my sister knows best.--But, with all her demureness and humility, she has no objection to be lady Melvil, it seems, nor to any wickedness that can make her so. Mrs Heid. She lady Melvil! Compose yourself, niece! I'll ladyship her, indeed: a little creepin, cantin- She shan't be the better for a farden of my money. But tell me, child, how does this intriguing with sir John correspond with her partiality to Lovewell? I don't see a concatunation here. Miss Ster. There I was deceived, madam. I took all their whisperings and stealing into corners to be the mere attraction of vulgar minds; but, behold! their private meetings were not to contrive their own insipid happiness, but to conspire against mine. But I know whence proceeds Mr Lovewell's resentment to me. I could not stoop to be familiar with my father's clerk, and so I have lost his interest. Mrs Heid. My spirit to a T! My dear child! [Kisses her.] _Mr Heidelberg lost his election for member of Parliament, because I would not demean myself to be slobbered about by drunken shoemakers, beastly cheesemongers, and greasy butchers and tallow-chandlers. However, niece, I can't help diffuring a little in opinion from you in this matter. My experunce and sagacity makes me still suspect, that there is something more between her and that Lovewell, notwithstanding this affair of sir John. I had my eye upon them the whole time of breakfast. Sir John, I observed, looked a little confounded, indeed, though I knew nothing of what had passed in the garden. You seemed to sit upon thorns, too: But Fanny and Mr Lovewell made quite another guess-sort of a figur, and were as perfect a pictur of two distrest lovers, as if it had been drawn by Ra[Exit STER.phael Angelo. As to sir John and Fanny, I want SCENE II-Changes to another apartment. Enter MRS HEIDELBERG, and MISS STERLING. Miss Ster. This is your gentle-looking, softspeaking, sweet-smiling, affable Miss Fanny for you! Mrs Heid. My Miss Fanny! I disclaim her. a matter of fact. Miss Ster. Matter of fact, madam! Did not I John kneeling at her feet, and kissing her hand? come unexpectedly upon them? Was not sir Did not he look all love, and she all confusion? Is not that matter of fact? and did not sir John, the moment that papa was called out of the room to the lawyer-inen, get up from breakfast, and follow him immediately? And I warrant you | that, by this time, he has made proposals to him to marry my sister- -Oh, that some other person, an earl, or a duke, would make his addresses to me, that I might be revenged on this monster! Mrs Heid. Be cool, child! you shall be lady Melvil, in spite of all their caballins, if it costs me ten thousand pounds to turn the scale. Sir John may apply to my brother, indeed; but I'll make them all know who governs in this fammaly. Miss Ster. As I live, madam, yonder comes sir John! A base man! I can't endure the sight of him. I'll leave the room this instant. [Disordered. Mrs Heid. Poor thing! Well, retire to your own chamber, child; I'll give it him, I warrant you; and, by and by, I'll come and let you know all that has past between us. Miss Ster. Pray do, madam. [Looking back.] A vile wretch ! [Exit in a rage. Enter SIR JOHN MELVIL. Sir John. Your most obedient humble servant, madam. [Bowing very respectfully. Mrs Heid. Your servant, sir John. [Dropping a half curtsey, and pouting. Sir John. Miss Sterling's manner of quitting the room, on my approach, and the visible coolness of your behaviour to me, madam, convince me that she has acquainted you with what past this morning. Mrs Heid. I am very sorry, sir John, to be made acquainted with any thing that should induce me to change the opinion which I would always wish to entertain of a person of qualaty. [Pouting. Sir John. It has always been my ambition to merit the best opinion from Mrs Heidelberg; and when she comes to weigh all circumstances, I flatter myself Mrs Heid. You do flatter yourself, if you imagine that I can approve of your behaviour to my niece, sir John. And give me leave to tell you, sir John, that you have been drawn into an action much beneath you, sir John; and that I I look upon every injury offered to Miss Betty Sterling, as an affront to myself, sir John. [Warmly. Sir John. I would not offend you for the world, madam; but when I am influenced by a partiality for another, however ill-founded, I hope your discernment and good sense will think it rather a point of honour to renounce engagements, which I could not fulfil so strictly as I ought; and that you will excuse the change in my inclinations, since the new object, as well as the first, has the honour of being your niece, madam. Mrs Heid. I disclaim her as a niece, sir John; Miss Sterling disclaims her as a sister, and the VOL. II. whole fammaly must disclaim her, for her monstrous baseness and treachery. Sir John. Indeed, she has been guilty of none, madam. Her hand and her heart are, I am sure, entirely at the disposal of yourself and Mr Sterling. Enter STERLING, behind. And if you should not oppose my inclinations, I am sure of Mr Sterling's consent, madam. Mrs Heid. Indeed! Sir John. Quite certain, madam. Ster. [Behind.] So! they seem to be coming to terms already. I may venture to make my appearance. Mrs Heid. To marry Fanny? [STERLING advances by degrees. Sir John. Yes, madam. Mrs Heid. My brother has given his consent, you say? Sir John. In the most ample manner, with no other restriction than the failure of your concurrence, madam. [Sees STERLING.] Oh, here's Mr Sterling, who will confirm what I have told you. Mrs Heid. What have you consented to give up your own daughter in this manner, brother? Ster. Give her up! no, not give her up, sister; only in case that you-Zounds, I am afraid you have said too much, sir John. [Apart to SIR JOHN. Mrs Heid. Yes, yes. I see now that it is true enough what my niece told me. You are all plottin and caballin against her. Pray, does lord Ogleby know of this affair? Sir John. I have not yet made him acquainted with it, madam. Mrs Heid. No, I warrant you. I thought so. And so his lordship and myself, truly, are not to be consulted till the last. Ster. What! did not you consult my lord? Oh, fy for shame, sir John! Sir John. Nay, but Mr Sterling Mrs Heid. We, who are the persons of most consequence and experunce in the two fammalies, are to know nothing of the mattur, 'till the whole is as good as concluded upon. But his lordship, I am sure, will have more generosaty than to countenance such a perceding. And I could not have expected such behaviour from a person of your qualaty, sir John. And, as for you, brother Ster. Nay, nay, but hear me, sister. Mrs Heid. I am perfectly ashamed of you, Have you no spurrit? no more concern for the honour of our fammaly than to consent― Ster. Consent! I consent! As I hope for mercy, I never gave my consent! Did I conent, sir John? Sir John. Not absolutely, without Mrs Hei. 5 P delberg's concurrence. But, in case of her approbationSter. Ay, I grant you, if my sister approved. But that's quite another thing, you know [TO MRS HEIDELBERG. Mrs Heid. Your sister approve, indeed! I thought you knew her better, brother Sterling! What! approve of having your eldest daughter returned upon your hands, and exchanged for the younger! I am surprised how you could listen to such a scandalous proposal. Ster. I tell you, I never did listen to it. Did not I say, that I would be entirely governed by my sister, sir John? And, unless she agreed to your marrying Fanny Mrs Heid. I agree to his marrying Fanny!abominable! The man is absolutely out of his senses. Can't that wise head of yours foresee the consequence of all this, brother Sterling? Will sir John take Fanny without a fortune?No! After you have settled the largest part of your property on your youngest daughter, can there be an equal portion left for the eldest?No! Does not this overturn the whole systum of the fammaly? Yes, yes, yes! You know I was always for my niece Betsey's marrying a person of the very first qualaty. That was my maxum: and, therefore, much the largest settlement was, of course, to be made upon her. As for Fanny, if she could, with a fortune of twenty or thirty thousand pounds, get a knight, or a member of parliament, or a rich common council-man for a husband, I thought it might do very well. Ster. I thought so. I knew she never would agree to it. Sir John. 'Sdeath, how unfortunate! What can we do, Mr Sterling? Ster. Nothing. Sir John. What! must our agreement break off the moment it is made, then? Ster. It can't be helped, sir John. The family, as I told you before, have great expectations from my sister; and if this matter proceeds, you hear yourself, that she threatens to leave us.—My brother Heidelberg was a warm man—a very warm man; and died worth a plumb at least; a plumb! ay, I warrant you, he died worth a plumb and a half. Sir John. Well; but if I Ster. And then, my sister has three or four very good mortgages, a deal of money in the three per cents, and old South-Sea annuities; besides large concerns in the Dutch and French funds. The greatest part of all this she means to leave to our family. Sir John. I can only say, sir Ster. Why, your offer of the difference of thirty thousand was very fair and handsome, to be sure, sir John. Sir John. Nay, but I am even willing to Ster. Ay, but if I was to accept it against her will, I might lose above a hundred thousand; so, you see the balance is against you, sir John. Sir John. But is there no way, do you think, of prevailing on Mrs Heidelberg to grant her consent? Sir John. But if a better match should offer Ster. I am afraid not.- -However, when itself, why should it not be accepted, madam ? her passion is a little abated--for she's very pasMrs Heid. What! at the expence of her eldersionate-you may try what can be done: but you sister? O tie, sir John! How could you bear to must not use my name any more, sir John. hear such an indignity, brother Sterling? Ster. I! Nay, I shan't hear of it, I promise you- I can't hear of it, indeed, sir John. Mrs Heid. But you have heard of it, brother Sterling-You know you have; and sent sir John to propose it to me. But if you can give up your daughter, I shan't forsake my niece, I assure you. Ah! if my poor dear Mr Heidelberg and our sweet babes had been alive, he would not have behaved so. Ster. Did I, sir John?--Nay, speak!Bring me off, or we are ruined. [Apart to SIR JOHN. Sir John. Why, to be sure, to speak the truth Mrs Heid. To speak the truth, I'm ashamed of you both. But have a care what you are about, brother! have a care, I say. The counsellors are in the house, I hear; and if every thing is not settled to my liking, I'll have nothing more to say to you, if I live these hundred years. -I'll go over to Holland, and settle with Mr Vanderspracken, my poor husband's first cousin, and my own fammaly shall never be the better for a farden of my money, I promise you. [Exit.] Sir John. Suppose I was to prevail on Lord Ogleby to apply to her, do you think that would have any influence over her? Ster. I think he would be more likely to persuade her to it than any other person in the family. She has a great respect for Lord Ogleby. She loves a lord. Sir John. I'll apply to him this very day.—And if he should prevail on Mrs Heidelberg, I may depend on your friendship, Mr Sterling? Ster. Ay, ay; I shall be glad to oblige you, when it is in my power; but, as the account stands now, you see it is not upon the figures. And so, your servant, sir John. [Erit. Sir John. What a situation am I in!-Breaking off with her whom I was bound by treaty to marry; rejected by the object of my affections; and embroiled with this turbulent woman, who governs the whole family. And yet opposition, instead of smothering, increases my inclination. I must have her. I'll apply immediately to lord Ogieby; and if he can but bring over the aunt to our party, her influence will overcome the scruples and delicacy of my dear Fanny, and I shall be the happiest of mankind. [Erit ACT IV. SCENE I. A Room. Enter MR STERLING, MRS HEIDELBERG, and MISS STERLING. Ster. What! will you send Fanny to town, sister? Mrs Heid. To-morrow evening. I've given orders about it already. Ster. Indeed! Mrs Heid. Posatively. Ster. But consider, sister, at such a time as this, what an odd appearance it will have. Mrs Heid. Not half so odd as her behaviour, brother. This time was intended for happiness, and I'll keep no incendiaries here to destroy it. I insist on her going off to-morrow morning. Ster. I'm afraid this is all your doing, Betsy. Miss Ster. No, indeed, papa. My aunt knows that it is not. For all Fanny's baseness to me, I am sure I would not do or say any thing to hurt her with you or my aunt for the world. Mrs Heid. Hold your tongue, Betsey; I will have my way. When she is packed off, every thing will go on as it should do.- -Since they are at their intrigues, I'll let them see that we can act with vigour on our part; and the sending her out of the way, shall be the purliminary step to all the rest of my perceedings. Ster. Well, but sister Mrs Heid. It does not signify talking, brother Sterling; for I'm resolved to be rid of her, and I will.- -Come along, child. [To MISS STERLING.] The post-shay shall be at the door by six o'clock in the morning; and if Miss Fanny does not get into it, why, I will---and so there's an end of the matter. [Bounces out with Miss STERLING; then returns.] One word more, brother Sterling. I expect that you will take your eldest daughter in your hand, and make a formal complaint to Lord Ogleby, of sir John Melvil's behaviour.---Do this, brother;---shew a proper regard for the honour of your fammaly yourself, and I shall throw in my mite to the raising of it. If not- -but now you know my mind. So act as you please, and take the consequences. [Exit. Ster. The devil's in the women for tyranny! -Mothers, wives, mistresses, or sisters, they always will govern us. -As to my sister Heidelberg, she knows the strength of her purse, and domineers upon the credit of it.- I will do this,' and you shall do that,' and you shall do t'other, or else the fammaly sha'n't have a farden of'-[Mimicking.]—So absolute with her money!-But, to say the truth, nothing but money can make us absolute; and so we must e'en make the best of her. [Exit. SCENE II.-Changes to the Garden. Enter LORD OGLEBY, and CANTON. Lord Ogle. What! Mademoiselle Fanny to be sent away!--Why?-Wherefore ?-What's the meaning of all this? Can. Je ne sçais pas-I know nothing of it. Lord Ogle. It can't be-it shan't be :-I protest against the measure. She's a fine girl, and I had much rather that the rest of the family were annihilated, than that she should leave us. -Her vulgar father, that's the very abstract of 'Change-alley--the aunt, that's always endeavouring to be a fine lady—and the pert sister, for ever shewing that she is one, are horrid company indeed, and, without her, would be intolerable. Ah, la petite Fanchon! she's the thing: Isn't she, Canton? Can. Dere is very good sympatie entre vous and dat young lady, mi lor. Lord Ogle. I'll not be left among these Goths and Vandals, your Sterlings, your Heidelbergs, and Devilbergs- -if she goes, I'll positively go, too. Can. In de same post-chay, mi lor? You have no objection to dat, I believe, nor mademoiselle neither, too--ha, ha, ha! Lord Ogle. Prithee, hold thy foolish tongue, Canton. Does thy Swiss stupidity imagine that I can see and talk with a fine girl without desires! My eyes are involuntarily attracted by beautiful objects-I fly as naturally to a fine girl Can. As de fine girl to you, my lor, ha, ba, ha! You alway fly togedere like un pair de pigeons Lord Ogle. Like un pair de pigeons-[Mocks him.]--Vous etes un sot, Mons. Canton---Thou art always dreaming of my intrigues, and never seest me badiner, but you suspect mischief, you old fool, you. Can. I am fool, I confess, but not always fool in dat, my lor, he, he, he! Lord Ogle. He, he, he! Thou art incorrigible, but thy absurdities amuse one. Thou art like my rappee here,---[Takes out his box.]----a most ridiculous superfluity, but a pinch of thee, now and then, is a most delicious treat. Can. You do me great honeur, mi lor. Lord Ogle. 'Tis fact, upon my soul! Thou art properly my cephalic snuff, and art no bad medicine against megrims, vertigoes, and profound thinking-Ha, ha, ha! Can. Your flatterie, my lor, vil make me too prode. Lord Ogle. The girl has some little partiality for me, to be sure: but prithee, Canton, is not that Miss Fanny yonder? Can. [Looking with a glass.]---En verité, 'tis |