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ber him these many years. He always cancels Sir Wil. Lordship! I am no lord, sir, and must an obligation by the manner of conferring it; and beg not to be honoured with the name. does you a favour, as if he were going to knock Spat. It is a kind of mistake, that cannot disyou down.
please at least. Mrs Good. A truce with your satire, good Mr Sir Wil. I don't know that. None but a fool Spatter! Mr Freeport is my best friend; I owe would be vain of a title, if he had one; and none him every thing; and I can't endure the slightest but an impostor would assume a title, to which reflection on his character. Besides, he can have he has no right. given no offence to Lady Alton, whatever may be Spat. Oh, you're of the house of commons, the case with Amelia.
then, a member of parliament, and are come up Spat. Lady Alton! she is a particular friend to town to attend the sessions, I
sir? of mine to be sure; but, between you and me, Sir Wil. No matter what I am, sir. Mrs Goodman, a more ridiculous character than Spat. Nay, no offence, I hope, sir. All I meant any you have mentioned. A bel esprit forsooth! was to do you honour. Being concerned in two and as vain of her beauty as learning, without evening posts, and one morning paper, I was wilany great portion of either. A fourth grace, and ling to know the proper manner of announcing a tenth muse! who fancies herself enamoured of your arrival. Lord Falbridge, because she would be proud of Sir Wil. You have connexions with the press, such a conquest; and has lately bestowed soine then, it seems, sir? marks of distinction on me, because she thinks it Spat. Yes, sir; I am an humble retainer to the will give her credit among persons of letters. Muses, an author. I compose pamphlets on all
Mrs Good. Nay, if you can't spare your own subjects, compile magazines, and do newspapers. friends, I don't wonder at your attacking mine- Sir Wil. Do newspapers! What do you mean and so, sir, your humble servant. But stay! | by that, sir? here's a post-chaise stopped at our door; and Spat. That is, sir, I collect the articles of vews here comes a servant with a portinanteau. 'Tis from the other papers, and make new ones for the gentleman for whom my first Hoor was taken, the postscript ; translate the mails, write occaI suppose.
sional letters from Cato and Theatricus, and give Spat. Very likely: well, you will introduce me fictitious answers to supposed correspondents. to him at least, Mrs Goodman.
Sir Wil. A very ingenious, as well as honour
able employment, I must confess, sir.. Enter a Servant with a portmanteau—Sir Wil
Spat. Some little genius is requisite, to be LIAM Douglas following.
sure. Now, sir, if I can be of any use to youSir Wil. You are Mrs Goodman, I suppose, if you have any friend to be praised, or any enemadam?
my to be abused; any author to cry up, or miniMrs Good. At your service, sir.
ster to run down; my pen and talents are enSir Wil. Mr Owen, I believe, has secured tirely at your service. apartments here?
Sir Wil. I am much obliged to you, sir; but, at Mrs Good. He has, sir.
present, I have not the least occasion for either. Sir Wil. They are for me, madam-Have you In return for your genteel offers, give me leave any other lodgers ?
to trouble you with one piece of advice. When Mrs Good. Only that gentleman, sir; and a you deal in private scandal, have a care of the
cudgel; and when you meddle with public matSpat. Of great beauty and virtue. Eh, Mrs ters, beware of the pillory. Goodman?
Spat. How, sir! are you no friend to literaMrs Good. She has both, sir; but you will see ture? Are you an enemy to the liberty of the very little of her, for she lives in the most retired press ? manner in the world.
Sir Wil. I have the greatest respect for both; Sir Wil. Her youth and beauty are matter of but railing is the disgrace of letters, and personal great indifference to me; for I shall be as much abuse the scandal of freedom : foul-mouthed a recluse as herself.- Is there any news at pre- critics are, in general, disappointed authors; and sent stirring in London?
they, who are the loudest against ministers, only Mrs Good. Mr Spatter can inform you, sir, mean to be paid for their silence. for he deals in news. In the mean while, I'll Spat. That may be sometimes, sir; but give prepare your apartments.
me leave to ask you[Erit, followed by the servant.
. Do not ask me at present, sir! I see William walks up and down, without a particular friend of mine coming this way, and taking notice of SPATTERE
I must beg you to withdraw ! Spat. [Aside) This must be a man of quality, Spat. Withdraw, sir! first of all, allow me by his ill manners. I'll speak to him.-- will toyour lordship give me leave
Sir Wil. Nay, no reply! we must be in pri[To Sir WILLIAM. vate.
[Thrusting out SPATTER. Vol. II.
What a wretch! as contemptible as mischievous. Owen. Be adrised; depart, and leave that care Our generous mastiffs fly at men from an instinct to me. Consider, your life is now at stake. of courage; but this fellow's attacks proceed from Sir Wil. My life has been too miserable to an instinct of baseness- But here comes the render me very solicitous for its preservationfaithful Owen, with as many good qualities as But the complection of the times is changed; that execrable fellow seems to have bad ones. the very name of the party, in which I was un
happily engaged, is extinguished, and the whole Enter Owen.
nation is unanimously devoted to the throne. Well, Owen; I am safe arrived, you see. Disloyalty and insurrection are now no more,
Owen. Ah, sir! would to heaven you were as and the sword of justice is suffered to sleep. If safe returned again! Have a care of betraying I can find my child, and find her worthy of me, yourself to be sir William Douglas During I will fly with her to take refuge in some foreign your stay here, your name is Ford, remember. country; if I am discovered in the search, I have
Sir Wil. I shall take care-But tell me your still some hopes of mercy. news—What have you done since your arrival ? Owen. Heaven grant your hopes may be well Hlave
heard any thing of my daughter? Have founded ! you seen lord Brumpton? Has he any hope of Sir Wil. Come, Owen ! let us behave at least obtaining my pardon?
with fortitude in our adversity! Follow me to Owen. He had, sir.
my apartment, and let us consult what measures Sir Wil. And what can have destroyed it, we shall take in searching for Amelia. [Exeunt. then ?
Owen. My lord Brumpton is dead, sir. SCENE II.-Changes to AMELIA's apartment.
Enter Amelia and MOLLY. good health ; he promised to exert his whole in- Ame. Poor Molly! to be teased with that terest in your favour : by his own apoointment I odious fellow, Spatter! went to wait on him yesterday noon, when I was Mol. But, madam, Mr Spatter says he is acstunned with the news of his having died sudden- quainted with your whole history. ly the evening before.
Ame. Mere pretence, in order to render himSir Wil. My lord Brumpton dead! the only self formidable. Be on your guard against him, friend I had remaining in England; the only per- my dear Molly; and remember to conceal my son, on whose intercession I relied for my par- misery from him and all the world. I can bear don. Cruel fortune! I have now no hope but to poverty, but am not proof against insult and confind my daughter. Tell me, Owen; have you tempt. been able to hear any tidings of her?
Nol. Ah, my dear mistress, it is to no purpose Owen. Alas, sir, none that are satisfactory. to endeavour to hide it from the world. They On the death of Mr Andrews, in whose care you will see poverty in my looks. As for you, you left her, being cruelly abandoned by the relation can live upon the air ; the greatness of your who succeeded to the estate, she left the country soul seems to support you; but, lack-a-day! I months
and has not since been heard shall grow thinner and thinner every day of my of. Sir Wil. Unhappy there, too! When will the Ame
. I can support my own distress, but yours measure of my misfortunes be full? When will touches me to the soul. Poor Molly! the labour the malice of my fate be satisfied ? Proscribed, of my hands shall feed and clothe you-Here! condemned, attainted, (alas, but too justly!) i dispose of this embroidery to the best advantage; have lost my rank, my estate, my wife, my son, what was formerly my amusement, must now be and all my family! One only daughter remains ! come the means of our subsistence. Let us be Perhaps a wretched wanderer, like myself, per- obliged to nobody, but owe our support to inhaps in the extremest indigence, perhaps disho-dustry and virtue. noured-Ha! that thought distracts me!
Mol. You're an angel ! let me kiss those dear Ouen. My dear master, bave patience! Do hands that have worked this precious embroinot be ingenious to torment yourself, but consult dery ! let me bathe them with my tears! You're your safety, and prepare for your departure. an angel upon earth. I had rather starve in your
Sir Wil. No, Oven. Hearing, providentially, service, than live with a priucess. What can I of the death of my friend Andrews, paternal care do to comfort you? and tenderness drew me bither; and I will not Ame. Thou faithful crcature-only continue to quit the kingdom, till I learn something of my be sccret : you know my real character; you child, my dear Ainelia, whom I left a tender in- know I am in the utmost distress : I have opened nocent, in the arms of the best of women, twenty my heart to you, but you will plant a dayyer years ago. Her sex deinands protection; and there, if you betray me to the world, she is now of an age, in which she is more expo- Mol. Ah, my dear mistress, how should I besed to misfortunes, than even in helpless infancy. tray you! I go no where, I converse with nobody
but yourself and Mrs Goodman : besides, the dam, sends her compliments, and will wait upon world is very indifferent about other people's you after dinner. misfortunes.
Mrs Good. Very well; my best respeets to her Ame. The world is indifferent, it is true; but ladyship, and I shall be ready to attend her. it is curious, and takes a cruel pleasure in tear- [Erit Servant.] There, there is one cause of ing open the wounds of the unfortunate. your uneasiness ! Lady Alton's visit is on your
account. She thinks you have robbed her of Enter Mrs GOODMAN.
lord Falbridge's affections, and that is the oc
casion of her honouring me with her company. Mrs Goodman !
Amne. Lord Falbridge's affections ! Mrs Good. Excuse me, madam: I took the Mrs Good. Ah! my dear Amelia, you don't liberty of waiting on you to receive your com- know your power over his heart. You have remands. 'Tis now near three o'clock. You have conciled it to virtue—But come ! let me prevail provided nothing for dinner, and have scarce on you to come with me to dinner. taken any refreshment these three days.
Ame. You must excuse ine. Ame. I have been indisposed.
Mrs Good. Well, well, then I'll send you Mrs Good. I am afraid you are more than in- something to your own apartment. If you have disposed---You are unhappy-Pardon me! but I any other commands, pray honour me with them, cannot help thinking that your fortune is unequal for I would fain oblige you, if I knew how it to your appearance.
were in my power.
Erit. Ame. Why should you think so? You never Ame. What an amiable woman ! If it had not heard me complain of
been for her apparent benevolence and goodness Mrs Good. No, but I have too much reason of heart, I should have left the house on Mr to believe it is inferior to your merit.
Spatter's coming to lodge in it. Ame. Indeed, you flatter me.
Mol. Lady Alton, it seems, recommended biin Mrs Good. Come, come ; you must not indulge as a lodger here; so he can be no friend of this melancholy. I have a new lodger, an elder- yours on that account; for to be sure she owes ly gentleman, just arrived, who does me the hon- you no good will on account of my lord Falour to partake of my dinner ; and I must have bridge. your company, too. He seems to be in trouble, Ame. No more of lord Falbridge, I beseech as well as you. You must meet; two persons you, Molly. How can you persist in mentioning in affliction may perhaps become a consolation him, when you know, that, presuming on my situto each other. Come, let us take some care of ation, he has dared to affront me with dishonouryou.
able proposals ? Ame. Be assured, Mrs Goodınan, I am much Mol. Ah, madam, but he sorely repents it, I obliged to you for your attention to me; but I promise you, and would give his whole estate want nothing.
for an opportunity of seeing you once more, and Mrs Good. Dear madam! you say you want geting into your good graces again. nothing, and you are in want of every thing. Ame. No; his ungenerous conduct has thrown
him as much below me, as my condition had Enter Servant.
placed me beneath him. He imagined he had a
right to insult my distress; but I will teach him Ser. [To Mrs Goodman.] Lady Alton, ma- to think it respectable,
SCENE I.-- An apartment at Mrs Goodman's. , standing. I begin to suspect you have betrayed
me; you have gone over to the adverse party, Enter LADY ALTON and SPATTER.
and are in the conspiracy to abuse me.
Spat. I, madam! Neither her beauty, nor her Spat. But you won't hear me, madam! virtue
Lady Alt. I have heard too much, sir! This Lady Alt. Her beauty! her virtue! Why, wandering incognita a woman of virtue! I have thou wretch, thou grub of literature, whom I, as no patience.
a patroness of learning and encourager of men Spat. Mrs Goodman pretends to be convinced of letters, willing to blow the dead coal of geof her being a person of honour.
nius, fondly took under my protection, do you reLady Alt. A person of honour, and openly re- member what I have done for you? ceive visits from men ! seduce lord Falbridge ! Spat. With the utmost gratitude, madam, No, no ! reserve this character for your next Lady Alt. Did not I draw you out of the garnovel, Mr Spatter! it is an affront to my under-ret, where you daily spun o’t your flimsy braio
to catch the town fies in your cobweb disserta- Lady Alt. Of what consequence can they postions? Did not I introduce you to lord Dap- sibly be to me, man? perwit, the Apollo of the age? And did not you Spat. I'll tell you, madam. It is a rule in podedicate your silly volume of poems on several litics, when we discover something, to add someoccasions to him? Did not I put you into the thing more. Something added to something, list of my visitors, and order niy porter to admit makes a good deal; upon this basis I have formyou at dinner-time? Did not I write the only ed a syllogism. scene in vour execrable farce, which the audience Lady Alt. What does the pedant mean? A vouchsafed an hearing ? And did not my fe- syllogism ! male friend, Mis Melpomene, furnish you with Spat. Yes, a syllogism : as, for example, any Greek and Latin mottoes for your twopenny person who is a native of Scotland, and wishes to essays?
be concealed, must be an enemy to the governSpat. I acknowledge all your ladyship's good-ment. Amelia is a native of Scotland, and wishes ness to me. I have done every thing in my power to be concealed. Ergo, Amelia is an enemy to to shew my gratitude, and fulfil your ladyship's the government. coinmands.
Lady Alt. Excellent! admirable logic! but I Lady Alt. Words, words, Mr Spatter ! You wish we could prove it to be truth. have been witness of lord Falbridge's incon- Spat. I would not lay a wager of the truth of stancy. A perfidious man! False as Phaon to it; but I would swear it. Sappho, or Jason to Medea! You have seen him Lady Alt. What, on a proper occasion, and in desert me for a wretched vagabond ; you have a proper place, my good Spatter? seen me abandoned like Calypso, without mak- Spat. Willingly; we must make use of what ing a single effort to recall my faithless Ulysses we know, and even of what we don't know.from the Siren that has lured him from me. Truth is of a dry and simple nature, and stands
Spat. Be calm but one moment, madam, and in need of some little ornament. A lie, indeed, I'll
is infamous; but fiction, your ladyship, who deals Lady Alt. Bid the sea be calm, when the in poetry, knows is beautiful, winds are let loose upon it. I have reason to be Luily Alt. But the substance of your fiction, enraged. 1 placed you in genteel apartments Spatter? in this house, merely to plant you as a spy; and Spat. I will lodge an information, that the fawhat have you done for me? İlave you employ- ther of Amelia is a disaffected person, and has ed your correspondence to any purpose ? or dis- sent her to London for treasonable purposes : covered the real character of this infamous wo- nay, I can, upon occasion, even suppose the faman, this insolent Amelia?
ther himself to be in London : in consequence Spat. I have taken every possible method to of which, you will probably recover lord Faldetect her. I have watched 'Amelia herself like bridge, and Amelia will be committed to pria bailiff, or a duenna; I have overheard private son. conversations; have sounded the landlady; tam- Lady Alt. You have given me new life. I pered with the servants; opened letters; and took you for a mere stainer of paper; but I have interceptes messages.
found you a Machiavel. I bear somebody coLudy Alt. Good creature ! my best Spatter! ining. Mrs Goodman has undertaken to send And what?—what have you discovered?
Ainclia hither. Ha ! she's here-Away, SpatSpat. That Amelia is a native of Scotland ; ter, and wait for me at my house : you must that her surname, Walton, is probably not real, dine with me; and, after dinner, like true polibut assumed; and that she earnestly wishes to ticians, we will settle our plan of operations over conceal both the place of her birth, and her fa- our coffee. Away, away this instant ! mily.
[E.rit SPATTER, Lady Alt. And is that all? Spat. All that I have been able to learn as
A convenient engine this Mr Spatter : the most yet, madam.
impudent thorough-paced knave in the three Lady Alt. Wretch ! of what service have you kingdoms! with the heart of Zoilus, the pen of been, then? Are these your boasted talents ? Mævius, and the tongue of Thersites. . I was When we want to unravel an ambiguous charac- sure he would stick at nothing. The writings of ter, you have made out that she wishes to lie authors are public advertisements of their qualiconcealed; and when we wish to know who she fications; and when they profess to live upon is, you have just discovered that she is a native scandai, it is as much as to say, that they are reaof Scotland !
dy for every other dirty work, in which we chuse Spal. And yet, if you will give me leave, ma- to employ them. But now for Amelia: if she dani, I think I could convince you that these dis- proves tractable, I may forego the use of this coveries, blind and unsatisfactory as they may villain, who almost makes me hate my triumph, appear to you at first, are of no small conse- and be ashamed of my revenge. quence,
your favours than the rest of your sisterhood, Enter AMELIA.
merely to enhance the price of them.
Ame. Hold, madan! This opprobrious lanAme. Mrs Goodman has informed me, that guage is more injurious to your own honour than your ladyship had desired to see me: I wait to mine. I see the violence of your temper, and your commands, madam.
you may one day know that Lady Alt. Look you, young woman: I am my birth is equal to your own; my heart is, persensible how much it is beneath a person of my haps, more generous; and whatever may be my rank to parley with one of your
condition. situation, l scorn to be dependant on any borly, once, however, I am content to wave all ceremo- much less on one, who has so mean au opinion ny; and if you behave as you ought to do, you of me, and who considers me as her rival. have nothing to fear, child.
[Erit Amelia, Ame. I hope I have never behaved otherwise Lady Alt. Her rival ! Unparalleled insolence! than as I ought to do, madam.
open avowal of her competition with me! Lady Alt. Yes; you have received the visits Yes; I see Spatter must be employed. Her riof lord Falbridge; you have endeavoured to es
val! I shall burst with indignation.
Enter MRS GOODMAN.
Ame. I am conscious of no guilt, and know Lady Alt. Mrs Goodman! where is Mr Spatno fear, madain.
ter? Lady Alt. Come, come, Mrs Amelia; this Mrs Good. He went out the moment he left high strain is out of character with me. Act your ladyship. But you seem disordered ; over your Clelia, and Cleopatra, and Cassandra, shall I get you some bartshorn, madam? at a proper time; and let ine talk in the style of Lady Alt. Some poison. Rival ! I shall choak nature and common sense to you. You have no with rage. You shall hear from me. You, and lord Falbridge, no weak young nobleman to im- your. Amelia. You have abused me; you have pose upon at present.
conspired against my peace; and, be assured, you Ame. To impose upon! I scorn the imputa- shall suffer for it.
[Erit. tion, and am sorry to find that your ladyship
Mrs Good. What a violent woman! her pascame hither, merely to indulge yourself in the
sion makes her forget what is due to her sex and cruel pleasure of insulting one of the unhappiest quality. Ha! Mr Freeport!
[Weeping Lady Alt. You are mistaken ; I came hither
Enter FREEPORT. to concert measures for your happiness, to assist your poverty, and relieve your distress. Leave My best friend ! Welcome to London ! When this house, leave London; I will provide you a
did you arrive from Lisbon ? retirement in the country, and supply all your
Free. But last night. wants. Only renounce all thoughts of lord Fal- Mrs Good. I hope you have had a pleasant bridge, and never let him know the place of your voyage ?
Free. A good trading voyage—I have got moAme. Lord Falbridge! What is lord Fal- ney, but I have got the spleen, too. Have you bridge to me, madam?
any news in town? Lady Alt. To convince me you have no com
Mrs Good. None at all, sir. merce with him, accept of my proposals.
Free. So much the better. The less news, the Ame. No, madam ; the favours which you in- less nonsense. But what strange lady have you tend me, I could not receive without blushing.– had here? I met her as I was coming up : she I have no wants but what I can supply myself; rushed by like a fury, and almost swept me no distresses which your ladyship can relieve; down stairs again with the wind of her hoop-petand I will seek no refuge but my own virtue.
ticoat. Lady Alt. Your virtue! Ridiculous! If you Mrs Good. Ah! jealousy! jealousy is a terriare a woman of virtne, what is the meaning of ble passion, especially in a woman's breast, Mr all this mystery? Who are you? What are you? Freeport. Who will vouch for your character?
Free. Jealousy! Why, she is not jealous of Ame. It wants no vouchers; nor wil! I suffer you, Mrs Goodman? myself to be arraigned, like a criminal, till I know Mrs Good. No; but of a lodger of mine. by what authority you take upon you to acť as Free. Have you any new lodgers since I left my judge.
Lady Alt. Matchless confidence ! Yes, yes; it Mrs Good. Two or three, sir; the last arrived is too plain; I see you are the very creature I but to-day; an elderly gentleman, who will see took you for; a mere adventurer: some strol- no company: ling princess, that are perhaps more frugal of Free. He's in the right. Three parts in four
of her sex.