but yourself and Mrs Goodman: besides, the world is very indifferent about other people's misfortunes. Ame. The world is indifferent, it is true; but it is curious, and takes a cruel pleasure in tearing open the wounds of the unfortunate. Enter MRS GOODMAN. Mrs Goodman ! Mrs Good. Excuse me, madam: I took the liberty of waiting on you to receive your commands. 'Tis now near three o'clock. You have provided nothing for dinner, and have scarce taken any refreshment these three days. Ame. I have been indisposed. Mrs Good. I am afraid you are more than indisposed-You are unhappy-Pardon me! but I cannot help thinking that your fortune is unequal to your appearance. Ame. Why should you think so? You never heard me complain of my fortune. Mrs Good. No, but I have too much reason to believe it is inferior to your merit. Ame. Indeed, you flatter mc. Mrs Good. Come, come; you must not indulge this melancholy. I have a new lodger, an elderly gentleman, just arrived, who does me the honour to partake of my dinner; and I must have your company, too. He seems to be in trouble, as well as you, You must meet; two persons in affliction may perhaps become a consolation to each other. Come, let us take some care of you. Ame. Be assured, Mrs Goodman, I am much obliged to you for your attention to me; but I want nothing. Mrs Good. Dear madam! you say you want nothing, and you are in want of every thing. Enter Servant. Ser. [To MRS GOODMAN.] Lady Alton, ma dam, sends her compliments, and will wait upon you after dinner. Mrs Good. Very well; my best respects to her ladyship, and I shall be ready to attend her. [Exit Servant.] There, there is one cause of your uneasiness! Lady Alton's visit is on your account. She thinks you have robbed her of lord Falbridge's affections, and that is the occasion of her honouring me with her company. Ame. Lord Falbridge's affections! Mrs Good. Ah! my dear Amelia, you don't know your power over his heart. You have reconciled it to virtue-But come! let me prevail on you to come with me to dinner. Ame. You must excuse ine. Mrs Good. Well, well, then I'll send you something to your own apartment. If you have any other commands, pray honour me with them, for I would fain oblige you, if I knew how it were in my power. [Exit. Ame. What an amiable woman! If it had not been for her apparent benevolence and goodness of heart, I should have left the house on Mr Spatter's coming to lodge in it. Mol. Lady Alton, it seems, recommended him as a lodger here; so he can be no friend of yours on that account; for to be sure she owes you no good will on account of my lord Falbridge. Ame. No more of lord Falbridge, I beseech you, Molly. How can you persist in mentioning him, when you know, that, presuming on my situation, he has dared to affront me with dishonourable proposals? Mol. Ah, madam, but he sorely repents it, I promise you, and would give his whole estate for an opportunity of seeing you once more, and geting into your good graces again. Ame. No; his ungenerous conduct has thrown him as much below me, as my condition had placed me beneath him. He imagined he had a right to insult my distress; but I will teach him to think it respectable. [Exeunt. ACT II. SCENE I.—An apartment at Mrs GOODMAN'S. | standing. I begin to suspect you have betrayed Enter LADY ALTON and SPATTER. Spat. BUT you won't hear me, madam ! Lady Alt. I have heard too much, sir! This wandering incognita a woman of virtue! I have no patience. Spat. Mrs Goodman pretends to be convinced of her being a person of honour. Lady Alt. A person of honour, and openly receive visits from men! seduce lord Falbridge! No, no! reserve this character for your next me; you have gone over to the adverse party, and are in the conspiracy to abuse me. Spat. I, madam! Neither her beauty, nor her virtue Lady Alt. Her beauty! her virtue! Why, thou wretch, thou grub of literature, whom I, as a patroness of learning and encourager of men of letters, willing to blow the dead coal of genius, fondly took under my protection, do you remember what I have done for you? Spat. With the utmost gratitude, madam. Lady Alt. Did not I draw you out of the gar novel, Mr Spatter ! it is an affront to my under-ret, where you daily spun out your flimsy brain Lady Alt. Of what consequence can they pos Spat. I'll tell you, madam. It is a rule in politics, when we discover something, to add something more. Something added to something, makes a good deal; upon this basis I have formed a syllogism. to catch the town flies in your cobweb disserta- Lady Alt. What does the pedant mean? A syllogism! Spat. Yes, a syllogism: as, for example, any person who is a native of Scotland, and wishes to be concealed, must be an enemy to the govern Spat. I acknowledge all your ladyship's good-ment. Amelia is a native of Scotland, and wishes ness to me. I have done every thing in my power to be concealed. Ergo, Amelia is an enemy to to shew my gratitude, and fulfil your ladyship's the government. commands. Lady Alt. Words, words, Mr Spatter ! You have been witness of lord Falbridge's inconstancy. A perfidious man! False as Phaon to Sappho, or Jason to Medea! You have seen him desert me for a wretched vagabond; you have seen me abandoned like Calypso, without making a single effort to recall my faithless Ulysses from the Siren that has lured him from me. Spat. Be calm but one moment, madam, and I'll Lady Alt. Bid the sea be calm, when the winds are let loose upon it. I have reason to he enraged. I placed you in genteel apartments in this house, merely to plant you as a spy; and what have you done for me? Have you employed your correspondence to any purpose? or discovered the real character of this infamous woman, this insolent Amelia? Spat. I have taken every possible method to detect her. I have watched Amelia herself like a bailiff, or a duena; I have overheard private conversations; have sounded the landlady; tampered with the servants; opened letters; and intercepted messages. Lady Alt. Good creature! my best Spatter! And what?-what have you discovered? Spat. That Amelia is a native of Scotland; that her surname, Walton, is probably not real, but assumed; and that she earnestly wishes to conceal both the place of her birth, and her family. Lady Alt. And is that all? Sput. All that I have been able to learn as yet, madam. Lady Alt. Wretch of what service have you been, then? Are these your boasted talents? When we want to unravel an ambiguous character, you have made out that she wishes to lie concealed; and when we wish to know who she is, you have just discovered that she is a native of Scotland! Spat. And yet, if you will give me leave, madam, I think I could convince you that these discoveries, blind and unsatisfactory as they may appear to you at first, are of no small consequence. Lady Alt. Excellent! admirable logic! but I wish we could prove it to be truth. it; Spat. I would not lay a wager of the truth of but I would swear it. Lady Alt. What, on a proper occasion, and in a proper place, my good Spatter? Spat. Willingly; we must make use of what we know, and even of what we don't know.— Truth is of a dry and simple nature, and stands in need of some little ornament. A lie, indeed, is infamous; but fiction, your ladyship, who deals in poetry, knows is beautiful. Lady Alt. But the substance of your fiction, Spatter? Spat. I will lodge an information, that the father of Amelia is a disaffected person, and has sent her to London for treasonable purposes: nay, I can, upon occasion, even suppose the father himself to be in London: in consequence of which, you will probably recover lord Falbridge, and Amelia will be committed to prison. Lady Alt. You have given me new life. I took you for a mere stainer of paper; but I have found you a Machiavel. I hear somebody coning. Mrs Goodman has undertaken to send Amelia hither. Ha! she's here-Away, Spatter, and wait for me at my house: you must dine with me; and, after dinner, like true politicians, we will settle our plan of operations over our coffee. Away, away this instant! [Exit SPATTER, A convenient engine this Mr Spatter: the most impudent thorough-paced knave in the three kingdoms! with the heart of Zoilus, the pen of Mævius, and the tongue of Thersites. I was sure he would stick at nothing. The writings of authors are public advertisements of their qualifications; and when they profess to live upon scandal, it is as much as to say, that they are ready for every other dirty work, in which we chuse to employ them. But now for Amelia: if she proves tractable, I may forego the use of this villain, who almost makes me hate my triumph, and be ashamed of my revenge. Enter AMELIA, Ame. Mrs Goodman has informed me, that your ladyship had desired to see me: I wait your commands, madam. Lady Alt. Look you, young woman: I am sensible how much it is beneath a person of my rank to parley with one of your condition. once, however, I am content to wave all ceremony; and if you behave as you ought to do, you have nothing to fear, child. Ame. I hope I have never behaved otherwise than as I ought to do, madam. Lady Alt. Yes; you have received the visits of lord Falbridge; you have endeavoured to estrange his affections from me: but, if you encourage him in his infidelity to me, tremble for the consequence: be advised, or you are ruined. Ame. I am conscious of no guilt, and know no fear, madain. Lady Alt. Come, come, Mrs Amelia; this high strain is out of character with me. Act over your Clelia, and Cleopatra, and Cassandra, at a proper time; and let me talk in the style of nature and common sense to you. You have no lord Falbridge, no weak young nobleman to impose upon at present. Ame. To impose upon! I scorn the imputation, and am sorry to find that your ladyship came hither, merely to indulge yourself in the cruel pleasure of insulting one of the unhappiest [Weeping. of her sex. Lady Alt. You are mistaken; I came hither to concert measures for your happiness, to assist your poverty, and relieve your distress. Leave this house; leave London; I will provide you a retirement in the country, and supply all your wants. Only renounce all thoughts of lord Falbridge, and never let him know the place of your retreat. Ame. Lord Falbridge! What is lord bridge to me, madam? your favours than the rest of your sisterhood, merely to enhance the price of them, Ame. Hold, madam! This opprobrious language is more injurious to your own honour than to mine. I see the violence of your temper, and will leave you. But you may one day know that my birth is equal to your own; my heart is, perhaps, more generous; and whatever may be my situation, I scorn to be dependant on any body, much less on one, who has so mean au opinion of me, and who considers me as her rival. [Exit AMELIA, Lady Alt. Her rival! Unparalleled insolence! An open avowal of her competition with me!Yes; I see Spatter must be employed. Her rival! I shall burst with indignation. Enter MRS GOODMAN. Lady Alt. Mrs Goodman! where is Mr Spatter? Mrs Good. He went out the moment he left your ladyship.- -But you seem disordered; shall I get you some hartshorn, madam? Lady Alt. Some poison. Rival! I shall choak with rage. You shall hear from me. You, and your Amelia. You have abused me; you have conspired against my peace; and, be assured, you shall suffer for it. [Exit. Mrs Good. What a violent woman! her pas sion makes her forget what is due to her sex and quality. Ha! Mr Freeport! Mrs Good. I hope you have had a pleasant voyage? Free. A good trading voyage-I have got moFal-ney, but I have got the spleen, too. Have you any news in town? Lady Alt. To convince me you have no commerce with him, accept of my proposals. Ame. No, madam; the favours which you intend me, I could not receive without blushing. I have no wants but what I can supply myself; no distresses which your ladyship can relieve; and I will seek no refuge but my own virtue. Lady Alt. Your virtue! Ridiculous! If you are a woman of virtue, what is the meaning of all this mystery? Who are you? What are you? Who will vouch for your character? Ame. It wants no vouchers; nor wil! I suffer myself to be arraigned, like a criminal, till I know by what authority you take upon you to act as my judge. Lady Alt. Matchless confidence! Yes, yes; it is too plain; I see you are the very creature I took you for; a mere adventurer: some strolling princess, that are perhaps more frugal of Mrs Good. None at all, sir. Free. So much the better. The less news, the less nonsense. But what strange lady have you had here? I met her as I was coming up: she rushed by like a fury, and almost swept me down stairs again with the wind of her hoop-pet ticoat. of mankind are knaves or fools; and the fourth part live by themselves. But who are your other lodgers? Mrs Good. An author, and a lady. Free. I hate authors. Who is the lady? Mrs Good. She calls herself Amelia Walton; but I believe that name is not her real one. Free. Not her real one! Why, sure she is a woman of character? Mrs Good, A woman of character! She is an angel. She is most miserably poor; and yet haughty to an excess. Free. Pride and poverty! A sad composition, Mrs Goodman! SCENE III.-AMELIA's Apartment. AMELIA at work, and MOLLY. Ame. No, Polly! if lord Falbridge comes again, I am resolved not to see him. Mol. Indeed, madam, he loves you above all the world; I am sure of it; and I verily believe he will run mad, if you don't hear what he has to say for himself. Ame. Speak no more of him. Enter MRS GOODMAN. Mrs Goodman! Mrs Good. Pardon me, madam! Here is a gentleman of my acquaintance begs you would give him leave to speak with you. Ame. A gentleman! who is he? Mrs Good. His name is Freeport, madam. He has a few particularities; but he is the besthearted man in the world. Pray, let him come madam! Ame. By no means; you know I receive visits from nobody. Mrs Good. No, sir; her pride is one of her greatest virtues: it consists in depriving herself of almost all necessaries, and concealing it from the world. Though every action speaks her to be a woman of birth and education, she lives upon the work of her own hands, without murmur or complaint. I make use of a thousand strata-in, gems to assist her against her will; I prevail on her to keep the money due for rent for her support, and furnish her with every thing she wants at half its prime cost; but if she perceives or suspects these little artifices, she takes it almost Bless me! he's here! This is very extraordias ill as if I had attempted to defraud her. Innary indeed. Mrs Goodman. short, sir, her unshaken virtue and greatness of Free. Don't disturb yourself, young woman! soul under misfortunes, makes me consider her don't disturb yourself! as a prodigy, and often draws tears of pity and admiration from me. Free. Ah! women's tears lie very near their eyes! I never cried in my life; and yet I can feel, too; I can admire, I can esteem, but what signifies whimpering? Hark ye, Mrs Goodman! This is a very extraordinary account you give of this young woman; you have raised my curiosity, and I'll go see this lodger of yours; I am rather out of spirits, and it will serve to amuse me. Mrs Good. Oh, sir, you can't see her; she neither pays visits, nor receives them, but lives in the most retired manner in the world. Free. So much the better. I love retirement as well as she. Where are her apartments? Mrs Good. On this very floor, on the other side of the staircase. Free. I'll go and see her immediately. Mrs Good. Indeed you can't, sir. It is impossible. Free. Impossible! where is the impossibility of going into a room? Come along! Mrs Good. For Heaven's sake, Mr Freeport! Free. Pshaw! I have no time to lose; I have business half an hour hence. Mrs Good. But won't it be rather indelicate, sir? Let me prepare her first. Free. Prepare her-With all my heart-But remember that I am a man of business, Mrs Goodman, and have no time to waste in ceremony and compliment. Enter FREEPort. Mol. Mighty free and easy, methinks! Ame. Excuse me, sir; I am not used to receive visits from persons entirely unknown. Free. Unknown! There is not a man in all London better known than I am. I am a merchant; my name is Freeport; Freeport of Crutched-Friars; inquire upon 'Change! Ame. Mrs Goodman! I never saw the gentleman before. I am surprised at his coming here. Free. Pooh! Prithee! Mrs Goodman knows me well enough. [MRS GOODMAN talks apart with AMELIA.] Ay! that's right, Mrs Goodman. Let her know who am, and tell her to make herself easy. Mrs Good. But the lady does not chuse we should trouble her, sir. Free. Trouble her! I'll give her no trouble; I came to drink a dish of tea with you; let your maid get it ready, and we will have it here instead of your parlour-In the mean time, I will talk with this lady; I have something to say to her. Ame. If you had any business, sir— Free. Business! I tell you I have very particular business; so sit down, and let's have the tea. Mrs Good. You should not have followed me so soon, sir. Free. Pooh, prithee! [Erit MRS GOODMAN, Mol. This is the oddest man I ever saw in my life! Ame. Well, sir, as I see you are a particular acquaintance of Mrs Goodman--But, pray, what [Exeunt. are your commands for me, sir! [They sit. Free. I tell you what, young woman; I am a plain man, and will tell you my mind in an instant. I am told that you are one of the best women in the world: very virtuous, and very poor. I like you for that: but they say you are excessively proud too; now, I don't like you for that, madam. Mol. Free and easy still, I see. Ame. And pray, sir, who told you so? Ame. She has deceived you, sir; not in regard to my pride, perhaps, for there is a certain right pride which every body, especially women, ought to possess; and as to virtue, it is no more than my duty; but as to poverty, I disclaim it; they who want nothing, cannot be said to be poor. of Mrs Goodman, we might have died by this time. My lady has concealed her distress from every body that was willing and able to relieve her; you have come to the knowledge of it in spite of her teeth; and I hope that you will oblige her, in spite of her teeth, to accept of your generous offer. Ame. No more, my dear Polly; if you would not have me die with shame, say no more! Return the gentleman his note, with my best thanks for his kindness; tell him, I durst not accept of it; for when a woman receives presents from a man, the world will always suspect that she pays for them at the expence of her virtue. Free. What's that! what does she say, child? Mol. Lord, sir, I hardly know what she says. She says, that when a gentleman makes a young lady presents, he is always supposed to have a design upon her virtue. Free. It is no such thing you don't speak the truth; and that is worse than being proud. I know very well that you are as poor as Job, that you are in want of common necessaries, and don't make a good meal above once a fort-action? night. Mol. My mistress fasts for her health, str. Free. Hold your tongue, hussy! what, are you proud too? Mol. Lord, what a strange man! Free. Nonsense! why should she suspect me of an ungenerous design, because I do a generous Mol. Do you hear, madam? : Ame. Yes, I hear; I admire; but I must persist in my refusal if that scandalous fellow Spatter were to hear of this, he would stick at saying nothing. Free. Eh! what's that? Mol. She is afraid you should be taken for her . lover, sir. Free. But however, madam, proud or not proud does not signify twopence-Hark ye, young woman! it is a rule with me (as it ought to be with every good Christian) to give a tenth Free. I for your lover! not I. I never saw part of my fortune in charity. In the account you before. I don't love you; so, make no scruof my profits, there stands, at present, the sum of ples upon that account. I like you well enough, two thousand pounds on the credit side of my but I don't love you at all: not at all, I tell you books; so that I am two hundred pounds in ar--If you have a mind never to see my face any rear. This I look upon as a debt due from my fortune to your poverty-Yes, your poverty I say; so, never deny it. There's a bank note for two hundred pounds; and now I am out of your debt-Where the deuce is this tea, I wonder? I Ame. I feel, I feel your goodness to the bottom of my soul; but you must excuse me. have no occasion for your bounty; take your note, sir, and bestow it where it is wanted. Moi. Lord, madam! you are ten times stranger than the gentleman-I tell you what, sir; [To FREEPORT.] it does not signify talking; we are in the greatest distress in the world, and if it had not been for the kindness and good nature more, good by t'ye!-You shall never see me Ame. Stay, sir! do not leave me without receiving the sincerest acknowledgments of my gratitude and esteem; but, above all, receive your note again, and do not put me any longer to the blush! Free. The woman is a fool! Enter MRS GOODMAN. Ame. Come hither, I beseech you, Mrs Goodman. Mrs Good. Your pleasure, madam? Ame. Here! take this note which that gentleman has given me by mistake; return it to him, I charge you; assure him of my esteem and admiration; but let him know I need no assistance, and cannot accept it. [Exit AME. Mrs Good. Ah, Mr Freeport! you have been at your old trade. You are always endeavouring to do good actions in secret; but the world always finds you out, you see. Mol. Well; I don't believe there are two stranger people in England, than my mistress and that gentleman-one so ready to part with mo |