layed altogether; insomuch that the patience of the proprietors became exhausted. When he dispatched the last portion of the MS. the bookseller, who had the superintendence of the printing, told the messenger to give his compliments to Johnson, and say that he thanked God he had done with him. Upon this being reported to Johnson, he exclaimed, "I'm glad that he has grace enough to thank God for anything." LEXIPHANES. Interesting Varieties. HINTS TO MOURNERS. TO THE EDITOR OF THE NIC-NAC. SIR,-Dean Swift, in his usual satirical manner, once remarked, that he always saw the merriest faces in mourning coaches." I am not prepared, Mr. Editor, to go so far as this, but I certainly think we are apt to pay too little regard to appearances on the demise of our friends. Some attention to decorum should undoubt edly be observed; and as I have never met with any rules for the guidance of our conduct on these melancholy occasions, perhaps the following outlines may furnish a superior pen with hints for a more extensive plan: which, I am convinced, would prove highly acceptable to all who wish to appear "good sort of people" in the eyes of the world; but who, from there being no established rules of etiquette, are too often misled (notwithstanding the purity of their intentions) by the fraility of their judgment. You will confer a great obligation on me by inserting my Hints, and I am quite sure they will be acceptable to many of your readers. 8omers Town, Aug. 3. 1823 ARISTIDES. A WIFE LOSING HER HUSBAND. Should not appear in public the first week; nor in private without a white handkerchief. The second Sunday-should be seen at church; much affected with the Sermon; skilful use of the handkerchief not omitted. May go to a tragedy after the first month, and weep in character, either at the play, or at the loss of her husband. The third month she may laugh at a play, or dance at a ball, with her intended bridegroom: and the fourth month may jump into his arms, and finish her widowhood. A HUSBAND LOSING HIS WIFE. Must weep, or seem to weep, at the funeral; should not appear in the saloon the first week; should vent a proper sigh whenever and wherever good wives or matrimony happen to be mentioned. May take a mistress into keeping the third week, provided, he had not one before; and appear at Covent Garden with her at the expiration of the month. AN HEIR LOSING HIS FATHER. It would be more decent (if it can be avoided) not to break out before the funeral. Horses, dogs, and gay equipages may however be getting ready; plans of which, dispositions of gardens, and the like, may in the mean time be examined; additional servants hired, and even put into mourning. The ladies may visit him (after the funeral) or he may visit them (before), provided some little precaution is used to prevent scandal. He may frequent the gaming table; and if he be not ruined at the expiration of his mourning, he need only change his dress, and pursue the same plan as long as his fortune lasts. THE COBBLER AND THE A BUTCHER in the country stopped at an inn, and went into the parlour, leaving his horse at the door, with a calf strapped across its back. In the tap-room was a cobbler, with some of his companions, making merry, and the landlord coming in, the cobbler said, Landlord, if you will give us a gallon of beer, I'll engage to steal that calf across the horse at the door." "With all my heart," cried the landlord; "bring it to me, and I will give you two gallons." The cobbler then perceiving the butcher to be upon the move, whipped into his stall, took a pair of new shoes, and set off before him. About half a mile from the house he left one of the shoes in the road, and half a mile further, in a little wood, he dropped the other. The butcher soon espied the first. "Od rot it!" says he, "it is but an odd shoe at the best, so I will even jog on." Coming to the wood, however, and seeing the other "Wounds!" cried he "here's the fellow; I will go back and fetch the other, the pair is worth having." So he dismounted, and went back for the other shoe, tying his horse to the arm of a tree. The cobbler. then ran from his hiding place, unstrapped the calf, and setting off by another road,got to the inn with it, and put it into a stable. Shortly after came the butcher, with a pitiful countenance, and acquainted the land lord with his misfortune; telling him at the same time, that he and his family would be ruined, as the veal was bespoke by one of his best customers, and that he had rede upwards of fifteen miles that day to fetch it. "I am really sorry for your misfortune," said the landlord; but I have a pretty good calf in my stable, and rather than you should go without one, I'll sell it to you." "I'll buy it, and return you a thousand thanks," replied the butcher. Accordingly the calf was brought, and the butcher examined SO it. "Ay," said he, I like this calf well enough, but it's not near so fat as the one I lost." The money being paid, the calf was once more strapped on the horse, and off set the butcher again. Now,' said the cobbler, "landlord, if you will stand somo drink, I'll engage to steal it again.""Agreed!" cried the landlord: off set the cobbler along a bye-road, and arriving first at the wood, when the butcher came into it, began to imitate the cry of a calf. "Ah! ah!" says the butcher, "what are you there?" thinking it was the calf he had lost, and that some unlucky person had unstrapped it, and let it loose. So he dismounted and went after it. The cobbler still kept bellowing, and drew him a great way into the wood; then running back, unstrapped the calf, and fled to the inn with it. The butcher having toiled about to no purpose, gave it up as a bad job; but on returning, and perceiving the calf gone again, he was quite amazed and distracted, and rode back as fast as he could to the inn. How fares it, master butcher?" said the landlord. "How fares it! why I have lost the other calf I bought of you-and the wood about a mile from your house is haunted; I would not ride through it again, if any body would give me a hundred guineas." "Come, come!" continued the landlord, "if your first calf is returned to you, with the money you paid for the second, will you freely forgive the aggressor ?" Ay, that I will, with all my heart," said the butcher. The landlord, acquainted him with the tricks, and gave him the calf and the money; the butcher returned the cobbler his shoes, and a crown to drink, for his ingenuity, and set off well contented. STANZAS. The linnet caroll'd not more light, To woodland and to wild, Than I, when on my raptur'd sight Youth's glowing morning smil'd. But, ah! the flash of morning bright Is wrapt in low'ring clouds; My trembling soul, a fearful night In boding darkness shrouds. Ah! fool, I saw no ill to dread Within the bow'r of love; Nor fear'd the deadly snake that fed Beneath the flow'rs I wove. Now ev'ry blossom has declin'd, Touch'd by its venom❜d breath; And all the roses passion twin'd Are turned to weeds of death.* AUG, 24. LOUISA. A CURIOUS JESUITICAL LETTER, ADDRESSED BY CARDINAL RICHLIEU TO THE ABBE BOUFFLERS. it SIR, Matthew Comprey, a Friar, of the Order of St. Benedict, is to be the bearer to you of news from me, and also of this letter. He is one of the most sensible, as well as one of the least vicious persons that I ever yet (among all I have conversed withy knew, and has earnestly desired me to write to you in his favour; and that I would give him a letter of introduction, with some pressing recommendation, which I granted to his merit, I assure you, rather than importunity. Believe me, my dear sir, he infinitely deserves your esteem ; were pity you should be backward to oblige him, by being mistaken, in not knowing him, I should be afflicted if you were, as many others have been formerly, who now esteemt him, and who are of my best friends. Hence and from no other motive, sir, it is that I desire to advertise you that you are particularly bound to take special notice of him, to shew him all imaginable respect, and say nothing in his presence that may offend or displease him in any sort; for, I will and do truly say, I love him as inyself, and -assure you there cannot be a more convincing anworthy person in the world, I very well know that as soon as you shall be acquainted with him, you will thank me for this advice. civility relieves me from the necessity of saying any thing more on this subject. Paris, Nov. 29, 1638. argument of an than to be capable of doing him harm. cease to be a stranger to his virtue, and you will love him as well as I do, and The assurance I have of your writing farther of him, or of I am, your affectionate friend, Jno. Armand de Plessis, * he draws a caricature scene of a man being run through the body, with a spit, by his landlady, on his incapacity to pay his reckoning; an idea of the vulgar extravagancy which he has run into on this occasion, may be formed from the concluding lines:- "——Uph!” so rosy, it does a man good to see you." "Nay, my lord, not so rosy as you "--"Ö, doctor, that is only a reflection from your face."---" Why then, my lord, I am glad to have supplied your lordship with the first reflection you ever made in your life." His lordship had not another word to say. Garrick then took him up, and "Here a general contraction of the after rallying him severely, seeing body, which, as nothing violent can him a little too sore, clapped him on last long, is to be succeeded by a the back, Come, come, doctor, gradual evolution of the members, and don't be offended, you know me."the two following lines are to be utter-Yes, well enough," said the doctor, ed in the farewell, endearing, melancholy tone:--"Farewell, ye cauliflowers, on the proud tops Of brimming tankards, I never more is to be spoken in a canine and snap "O sure it was not so much "To mean to build a sconce."Mournful reflection! 66 But the heavens are just!"? Here he is to look wistfully and repentantly towards heaven, then a stammer, "and so may any fool for a shilling." The doctor rode a horse which he wanted to get rid of;---the company agreed to raffle for him ;---he was valued at twenty guineas, which were immediately subscribed ;---the doctor had a share also, and, on casting lots, he won the horse himself, and rode home, after having silenced the wits, with nineteen guineas in his pocket. TO CORRESPONDENTS. We shall be glad to see some of Thalia's "Anecdotes," if possessed of any novel. ty-Albumania we trust will favour us with another communication.-D's Poem has some good lines and some bad ones: if he will amend the latter, the piece shall appear. We perfectly appreciate the feeling which called forth the remonstrance of Carolus, and deem ourselves obliged to him for his candour. -The whole of the pieces in the last packet of Curiosus shall appear." Bill Jones" in a week or two. We thank W. T. Evans, but his " Acrostics" don't exactly suit us.--Sic Sic's Conundrums ere long-Clio is refered to a notice in No. 31 respecting explanatory replies. RECEIVED: J. Grange, Nemo, Rex, T. G., Lamech, Frisk, N. G. O., Tartar, T. S. Cooke, R. C. D., T G-1, Kitty, Apollo, Parnassus, Geneso Sarto, and Clio (5). REJECTED: Leporello, T. R, R., Simon, and Brevitas. ERRATA. P. 267, col. 1. line 16, for 285 read 313. P. 281, col. 1, read “feel it incumbent." Printed and Published by T. WALLIS, Camden Town; and Sold by Chappell & Son, Royal Exchange; Fairburn, Broadway, Ludgate Hill; Harris, Bow Street, Covent Garden; J. Duncombe. Little Queen Street, Holborn Edmonds, Little Bell Alley, Coleman Street: Jamieson, Dnke's Court, King, Chancery Lane, and may he had of all Booksellers and Newsmen in Town and Country,--Price One Peany. J THE LEFT-HANDED DUEL. FROM an American newspaper, with "In the fight between the comba tants, one, in the first instance, charged the other, with having made use of lutestring to ward off the ball, and in the second, with having adopted a species of shield, which I believe to be perfectly new, and before this time unheard of, to wit, bathing the hody with a strong decoction of red oak bark. To shew that this is fact, I will produce the best evidence the na ture of the case admits of, viz:: the following article from a Georgia paper 6 THE DUEL. From the Augusta Chronicle and Advertiser. 'Will Mr. Mc Duffie have the effrontery to deny, that on the 8th of June, in addition to the use of lutestring, he employed a strong decoction of red oak bark, to harden his back? The result of my shot gives me the strongest reason to suspect that such was the fact. Besides, I have frequently heard it said, and indeed the report was pretty current, that he used this decoction habitually for the express purpose of rendering his body bullet-proof. I have heard that a friend in attempting to justify his recent refusal to back into a fight (according to his mode), observed that Mr. Mc Duffie could not meet me after the 4th of September, because he felt his skin growing tender, having exhausted his supply of this hardening liquid. 'I do not, however, make a positive charge. I put it in the form of a query, indicating to be sure my own decided opinion, but with the obvious view, that Mr. Mc Duffie may deny the fact if unfounded; and with the certain expectation that it will lead to a disclosure of the truth. If I am |