66

of such a vault." "I can readily believe you," said the officer, because it was I myself who caused it to be constructed, in order to secrete my most valuable property from those who might possess my chateau during my emigration; and to prove it to you, you have only to dig in the cellar, and you will there find gold, silver, plate, and other valuables which belong to me, and which you have not purchased. I hope you will permit me to take them away." "Nothing can be more fair," replied the owner of the cellar: "that property had no existence for me." The officer loaded two baggage carts with them, and departed, after thanking the host for his honest entertainment.

66

DISAGREEABLE SURPRISE. About twenty years ago, the servant of a Mr. Stapleton, at a village near Sittingbourne, in Kent, being left alone in the house, the family having gone on a visit to a friend, in the Isle of Sheepy, was awakened about twelve o'clock at night, by the noise of thieves breaking into the house. She immediately arose, and going to the window, discovered two men endeavouring to force the window shutters of the ground floor. She called out to them, and asked what they wanted. They replied, they knew the family was from home, and insisted on having whatever plate and valuables her master was possessed of," adding, "that if she made a noise, they would blow her brains out." She told them there was no occasion to threaten her, for she had long determined on revenging herself on her master, and that if they would wait, she would throw the plate out of the window to them. In a few minutes she appeared at the window with a silver tankard, which she had in the interval nearly filled with aqua fortis belonging to

her master: she desired them both to stand directly underneath the window, and endeavour to catch it, as it was full of dollars and curious pieces her master had collected. The thieves put themselves in the attitude to receive the prize, when she emptied the con

The agony

tents full in their faces. the poor wretches were instantly thrown into, can only be conceived by those who are acquainted with the effects of this burning liquid. They bellowed out revenge, swearing with dreadful imprecations as they went away, they would return and set fire to the house. The girl, however, followed up this stratagem by alarming her neighbours, some of whom kept watch during the remainder of the night, but she saw no more of the robbers or their companions, nor were they ever traced or heard of.

ANCIENT AND MODERN
CUSTOMS.

In the Northumberland household
book for 1512, we are informed that
a thousand pounds was the sum an-
nually expended in housekeeping.-
This maintained 166 persons; and
wheat was then 5s. 8d. per quarter.
The family rose at six in the morn-
ing; my lord and lady had set on
their table for breakfast, at seven
o'clock in the morning, a quart of
beer, a quart of wine, two pieces of
salt fish, half a dozen red herrings,
four white ones, and a dish of sprats.
They dined at ten, and supped at four
in the afternoon. The gates were all
shut at nine, and no further ingress
or egress permitted. (See pages 314
and 318.) But now, À. D. 1823,
The gentleman who dines the latest
Is, in our streets, esteemed the greatest.
But surely greater than them all
Is he who never dines at all!
A wag, on being told it was the fa-
shion to dine later and later every
day, said, "He supposed it would
end at last in not dining till to-mor-
row !"

these twenty five yeres by past, and hear is nowe a long time cince our ould Rector Parson Dawson dyed, and we doe not nowe who is toe bee our nue Rector, but whomever me Lord pleses to give it toe, it is aboute £180 poundes it yere; and i can say, and say trewly, that i never made thre poundes it yere for my job; so whomever me Lord pleses to give it toe, there is one thing me Lord can doe, i think, to let em have it upon this previser, that they allow the said Michael Meek ten pounds it yere out of it, and there will remain £170 poundes it yere for 't nue parson; for in such a liveing as onrs, i think there is brede bothe for parson and clarke i is a wever by tread, that never had any thing but harde labore to worke for my Brede, and is now in the 66 yere of my age, and hath but one Iye in my hede, for it is turned of ten yeres since, i quite lost seight of my rite Iye, wile i was pairing my fathers toes nailes; unhappeley a splinter did hit upon the senter of my rite Iye, and intirely blinded it, so that if i had but the ten poundes it vere for my job out of the liveing, what a healp it would be to me in my ould age; and altho i be but clarke of the parish, i is nere akin to the blak cotes, for my grete granfather was the Rector of Smeton, and appleton on Wiske, an Richmon al in Yorkshire, for 45 yeres; it was King Charley the Second that made my grete granfather a preasant of al these plases, and he was chaplin to one squire oggethorpe of bedel, so that to look to the lenth of 60 or 70 yeres back, owers was of as high a familly as was in ower countree, and my granmother Meek had thre owne cussins that were brothers, one of em was Parlamant man for Lundun, and one a barbado marchant; there names was heyshams; and me Lorde, there is now, at this time, about £100 poundes in our church-maisters handes wolly for me Lorde to doe what he pleases with. i is

PLEASANT INTELLIGENCE. A country lass coming up to town to seek her fortune, had the good luck to be hired by an old rich mercer, who was a bachelor, and whom she pleased so well, that at last he married her. Her brother Dick, who was a downright honest ploughman, hearing of his sister's promotion, put on his holiday cloaths, took up his quarter's wages, and came to London: and knowing

66

the street by the direction of a letter, though not the house, enquired from door to door for his sister Joan, who had lately married her master; till at last he was so lucky to find the right, where he was highly welcomed. Being at dinner, the old mercer said, Well, brother-in-law, as I now must call you, I am glad to see you, or any of my wife's relations; she has been a good servant to me, and I hope she will make as good a wife: we have a plentiful estate, and all I wish is a child to inherit it, which yet we have no hopes of." At this, Dick, looking wistfully at his sister, bluntly cried, "How now, Joan; what, art thou turned a barren sow in London? thou was not wont to be so in the country!" And though she frowned, beckoned, and made signs for him to hold his peace, still he went on. "Well, brother," continued he, "as for an heir, you need not trouble yourself about that; for she has a thumping boy in the country, got by Will. Dobs, her master's thresher; and the parish would be glad enough to be discharged of it!"

OLDYS, the historian, having been for several years in the Fleet Prison, contracted such habits and connections there, that, when he was at length enlarged, he made it a frequent practice to spend his evenings there, and lodge with some friend all night. Rapping at the door one night, rather late, the keeper reprimanded him for giving him such constant trouble, adding, that, "though he had a great regard for him, yet if he kept such hours in future, he must be under the necessity of LOCKING HIM OUT."

SERVICEABLE IMPOSTURE.-A mate of a merchant ship, who was pressed some years ago, made use of the following ingenious stratagem to evade being carried from the tender on board a man of war. The night before the pressed men were to be removed, he scratched himself all over his legs, hands, and a great part of his body, so as to cause the blood to follow in many places. On the morrow, when

the poor fellows were all called out of their confinement below, he took care to be the last; and just as they were going to put him over the vessel's side, he entreated the favour to speak but one word to the commanding officer; which being granted, he begged, in the most piteous manner, that he would be pleased to order him aboard some ship where there was an extraordinary good surgeon; "for I have had the misfortune, sir," said he, "to have a most inveterate itch (shewing his hands, breast, and legs), upon me these six months; and notwithstanding I have been under the care of several doctors, and been in two hospitals, I cannot obtain a cure; and I fear if I go to sea with it upon me, that, having only salt provisions, I shall lose my life." The officer, after viewing him with some attention, and cursing the gang for bringing such a scabby fellow on board, bid them turn him ashore, for he would not send him at all, lest he should infect the whole ship's company.

PHILLIPS Another anecdote of the shifts and inventions to which the Thespian tribe have frequently resorted from time immemorial, is given by Chetwood in his account of William Phillips, who was a Harlequin of much celebrity. It is as follows:"This great man was taken up in London for debt, and dealt with the honest officer in the following manner. He first called for liquor in abundance, and treated all about him, to the no small joy of the bailiff, who was rejoiced to have a calf that bled so well. Harlequin made the bailiff believe he had six dozen of wine ready packed up, which he would send for, to drink while in custody; and would likewise allow him sixpence a bottle, for permission to drink it in his own chamber.

Shoulder-dab listened to the proposal with pleasure; went to the place as directed; and was rejoiced to hear the wine should be sent in the morning early. Accordingly it came by a porter, sweating under his load; the turnkey, upon this, called to his master, telling him the porter and hamper were come in. Very well,

says he. then let nothing but the porter and hamper out.'-The porter' performed his part very well; went heavily in with an empty hamper, and lightly out with Phillips on his back. He was dis-hampered at an alehouse near the water-side; crossed the Thames; and soon after embarked for Ireland. He was very fond of this trick, and would take pride in his project, which was contrived long before he was taken, to be ready on an emergency. When the scheme was concerted with the porter, he made this threatning speech to him:- God strike me plump! (his usual oath) if you are not as secret as the Sun at noon-day, I'll broil you, and eat you alive, you dog!"'"

TRUE ENGLISH FEELING.-A small farmer in the vicinity of Manchester, some time ago, killed a cow, and sent part of the beef, and a quantity of suet, to his son, a weaver in Blackley, who hung it up so near to the window, that some one in the night broke a pane, and carried off the suet. In the morning the weaver, missing his suet, went to the ale-house, where he pasted up the following advertisement, which still remains, an evidence of the right John Bull generosity and spirit! Whereas, last night, a quantity of beef suet was taken from the house of Thomas Wolstonecroft this is to give notice, that if the person who took it away will appear and prove that he was forced to do so by distress, the said Thomas Wolstonecroft will give him a dozen of flour to make the suet into dumplings. But if he cannot prove that he was in distress when he stole it, the said Thomas Wolstonecroft will fight him, and give him five shillings if he beats him."

BARBER v. SWEEP. Young Nick, within a barber's shop, The chimney had been sweeping, And having done his swarthy job, Was backward down a creeping.

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

We can assure T. G-d that the neg lect he complains of was not intentional; the fact is, the Answers to Correspondents are generally written on Monday or Tuesday, and therefore letters received after those days are seldom noticed in the number of the following Saturday. Pic Nic's Extract from Addison shall be inserted. D.'s amended poem the very first opportunity. We are glad to find that he has sense enough to profit by advice, instead of being offended at it. Thalia [D.] has our thanks: the several articles shall appear. We are busily engaged in making selec tions from the American Journals, and the first fruits of our industry will display themselves in a week or two.

RECEIVED.-Jago, T. P., Simplex, Jonathan, L. L. C., Sarah, Newt, and Pero.

REJECTED.-Apex, T., Philo, and

J. R.