"Though I have examined what all other authors have written on this affair with great impartiality, yet I cannot conceive that any of them have the least merit, nor do I find one man that has treated this subject sensibly but myself."-Smithson's "Amiableness of Candour and Diffidence," p. 48.

A SPECIMEN OF BOUNCING.

A recruiting serjeant at a country fair procured a great number of men by telling them, that he did not want them to learn their exercise, or to do any of the drudgery of a common soldier. "We are going," says he, "to knock down the Spaniards by dozens, and I want a few clever active young fellows to kneel down and take the dollars out of the Dons' pockets as they lie on the ground!" THALIA.

ANTIQUITY OF A PROVERB. The antiquity of certain proverbs is among the most striking singularities in the annals of the human kind. Abdalmalek, one of the Caliphs of the race of Ommiades, was surnamed, by way of sarcasm, Roseb al Hegiaias, that is to say, "the skinner of a flint;" and to this day we call an avaricious man a SKIN FLINT.

THALIA.

HOW TO RULE A HUSBAND. If you would HOLD your husband long, You first must learn to hold your tongue

THE NORTH POLE.

A dreaming philosopher, of the name of John Cleves Symmes, transmitted, a few years since, from Cincinnatus, on the Ohio, some new geological views, worthy of the attention of those who lend their FAITH to the chimeras of gravitating, attractive, and projectile, forces. He maintains that the Polar basin is not filled with unfrozen water, but consists of a great gulph or opening into another concentric sphere or world, which likewise has its polar gulphs, leading to other spheres, one within another, five or six deep. He offered to make

a journey in person, to verify his theory, and explore the concentric spheres which fill up the vast interior of the earth. As much faith as enables a man to believe in many theories taught in Europe, will produce abundance of votaries to Mr. Symmes's truly sublime system, particularly as he demonstrated his doctrines by geometrical diagrams. The following is a copy of his public challenge :—

66

Light developes light ad infinitum.
"St. Louis [Missouri Territory],
North America, April 10,
A. D. 1818.

"To ALL THE WORLD.-I declare the earth to be hollow and habitable within; containing a number of concentric spheres, one within the other, and that their poles are open twelve or sixteen degrees. I pledge my life in support of this truth, and am ready to explore the concave, if the world will support and aid me in the undertaking.

"JOHN CLEVES SYMMES, "Of Ohio, late Captain of Infantry.

"I ask one hundred brave com→ panions, well equipped, to start from Siberia, in autumn, with reindeer and sledges, on the ice of the Frozen Sea; I engage we find a warm country and rich land, stocked with thrifty vegetables and animals, if not men, on reaching about sixty-nine miles northward of latitude 82; we will return in the succeeding spring. "J. C. S."

THE DEXTEROUS PICK-
POCKET.

Two gentlemen walking in St. James's street, espied a fellow sauntering about, whom they knew to be a noted pickpocket. In order to afford themselves a little diversion, and to try the rogue's skill and expertness, one of them pulled his handkerchief a little way out of his pocket, taking care to secure it at the bottom, by means of a pin, so that it could not be taken away without detection. They then passed this light-fingered gentleman once or twice. At last, attracted by the BAIT, he made up to them, and coming up in close contract, excused himself for having pushed against them, and went on. The gentlemen then examined the pocket, and found the handkerchief just as they had placed it; this produced some merriment between them, and they laughed most heartily at the thought of having, as they conceived, been Too' MUCH for the skill and ingenuity of the pick-pocket. By and bye, however, one of the gentlemen had occasion for his pocket book, in which was his money, to pay for an article which he was purchasing at a shop but, lo! to his extreme mortification-the pocket book was gone! The contents were bank notes amount ing to 20 or 30 pounds.

The Wit's Nunchian.

TONY ASTON.-Of this itinerant comedian, numberless droll stories are

on record. The following is given by Chetwood, in his "History of the Stage:"-His finances, like those of kingdoms, were sometimes on the tide of flood, and as often at low ebb. In one, where his stream had left the channel dry, he called up his landlord, to whom there was something due, told him of his distress, and asserting that he was sent for to another pl. e, requested he would lend in a small sum upon his wardrobe (which he shewed him in a large box), ter times the value of the debt owing, or the sum borrowed. The honest landlord, seeing a proper security, easily complied, gave him the sum he demanded, locked up the trunk, put the key in his pocket, and retired. But as no vessel can make a voyage without sails, and other proper material Joe had contrived a false bottom to this great box, by which means he took out the contents, and by degrees sent off his whole wardrobe, by his emissaries, unperceived; and that the difference of weight should not detect him, he filled up the void with cabbage-stalks, bricks, and stones.Every thing having thus succeeded to his wish, away went Tony, but far wide of the place he had mentioned to mine host. A week was the stated

time for redemption, which the landlord saw expire with infinite satisfaction; he then announced the contents of the trunk for sale, and opened it with great glee; but when he saw the fine lining, he was motionless. His first thought was how to revenge himself: he sent a bailiff, with proper directions, to the place Tony had mentioned, but if his anger had allowed him to reflect a little, he might well have imagined that Tony knew better than to have put him upon the right scent. Tony, however, the moment his finances were in order, repaired to Boniface, and honestly paid

him.

CREATION. A young quaker, from a distant county, came to London a few years ago, and being struck with the gay fashions of the times, commenced beau. Among other articles of dress, he ordered a blue satin

waistcoat, trimmed with silver, and in this he returned to his father, who, after staring at him, exclaimed, “How did'st thou get this trumpery waistcoat, for the vain adornment of thy outward person?"-"I created it,* said the son. "Created it !" echoed the father. "Yea, verily,” replied young Aminadab, “for I said, Let it be made, and it was made."

LOGIC-The position of one of the ancient philosophers, that HALF IS BETTER THAN THE WH being once disputed, and said to be very obscure, a young Oxonian who was present asserted, that it was as clear as anything well could be, and that he himself was precisely of the same opinion. For instance, said he

"The WHOLE of Celia's bed I don't require,

TO SHARE it WITH HER 's all that I desire."

ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY. -A German, who had lost his horse, published the following notice:

Rund away, or stolen, or vas sdrayed, mine large plack horse, about 14 or 15 hands 6 inches hie. He has got four plack legs, two pehind and two pefore; he is plack all over his pody, but he has got some vite spots pon his pack, where de skin vas rub off, but I gressed em, and de vite spots is all plack again. He trods and kanters, and sometimes he valks; and ven he valks, all his legs and feet goes on von after anoder. He has two ears pon his head, poth alike, but von is plackor dan toder. He has two eyes, von is put out, and toder is pon the side of his head; and when you go toder side, he vont see you. Ven he eats good deal, he has pig belly; he has long dail, dat hangs down pehind, but I cut it short toder day, and now tis not so long vat it vas. He is shoed all round, but his pehind shoes com'd off, and now he has got on shoes only pefore.

He holts up his head, and looks gaily; and ven he has ben frighten, he jomps about like evary ting in the vorld. He vill ride mit a saddle, or a chaise, or a kart; or he vill go by himselv without nopody but a pag on his pack and a poy on it. He is not very old and ven he valks, or runs, his head goes first, and his dail stays pehind; only ven he gets mad and turns round, den his tail comes first.-Vhoever vill pring him pack shall pay five dollars reward; and if he bring pack de tief dat sdole him, he shall pay peside dwendy dollars, and ax no quesdens."

AN actor, who was much in debt, being asked how he could sleep with The such debts upon him, said, wonder is, how my creditors can sleep."

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

A LIBERAL return will be made for the loan of the MSS. mentioned by C. S-le. D. and G. S. W. are not forgotten, but we must solicit their patience; a comtemplated increase in the size of our work, after the completion of the present volume, will we trust render these unpleasant trespasses upon the forbearance of our readers,less frequently necessary in future. Clio expresses a hope that "T. J-d, the present possessor of Mrs. Woolley's book [vide p.p. 327 and 344], will furnish us with some more extracts from that curious work." The American Papers came safely to hand; also Clio [7 and 8]. We should like to look over the articles in the Lancashire dialect, mentioned by C.-The reprint of No. 9, is ready for delivery.

ERRATA. P. 371, col. 2, line 1, read "immorality."-P. 372, col. 1, line 35, read" 1823."-P. 374, col. 1, line 19, read "seriously believed."

The signature of Curiosus should have been appended to the " Ballad" at P. 373. RECEIVED. Tubal-C. O-Пle Ego.-Malton-J. P.-and "Remarks on Christmas Carols," without a signa

ture.

cupation he soon after added that of a pawn-broker, and having managed to procure a decent competence, quitted trade, and took lodgings at a private house in the neighbourhood of Oxford Street.

In the same house there lived a journeyman tailor named Billings, with whom Mrs. Hayes, who had long been tired of her husband, commenced an adulterous intercourse, which led her by degrees to the acme of wickedness; so true is the remark of the poet

"Where whoredom reigns, there
murder follows fast

As falling leaves before the winter's
blast."

The guilty pair soon became anxious to get rid of Hayes, whose suspicions of their intimacy having been excited, he kept close watch over them, and thus became an obstacle in the way of their meetings so frequently as they wished. Accordingly, having

secured the assistance of one Wood, a country-fellow on a visit in the house, they took an opportunity when Hayes was laying on his bed, intoxicated, to split his skull with a hatchet; and then being at a loss what to do with the carcass, Mrs. Hayes proposed that they should first cut off the head, and throw it into the Thames, so that the body when found might not be recognised, which being agreed to, the wretched woman held pail to receive the blood, while Wood decapitated it with a pocket knife. Wood and Billings then set off with the head in a pail towards Westminster, and coming to a wharf near the Horse-Ferry, they. threw their burthen into the river, expecting that it would speedily be carried away by the tide, but in this they were deceived, for as it was low water, the head remained in the spot where it was thrown, and being found there next morning, the circumstance was reported to the magistrates, who caused immediate enquiries to be instituted respecting it. While Billings and Wood were going down stairs with the head, Mrs. Hayes artfully stood at the top, pretending to bid farewell to her husband, as if he was

setting out on a journey, in order to deceive the other lodgers, and when they returned, she let them in so softly, that no one heard them.

Their first thoughts next day were how to get rid of the body, and after much consultation they resolved to chop off the legs and arms, carry it away piecemeal after dark, and leave it in the fields. This was accordingly done; Billings and Wood taking the mangled limbs in a blanket, and depositing them in the Marylebone Fields, now called the Regent's Park, near to the spot where Sir Edmonbury Godfrey's body was discovered in the reign of Charles II. This done, they fancied all was safe, but their guilt was discovered in a manner as strange as unexpected.

The Magistrates of Westminster upon receiving information of the discovery of the head, had given directions for its being cleansed, and fixed on a pole in St. Margaret's churchyard, in order that it might be identified if possible; immense crowds of course flocked to the spot, and several people fancied that the features bore a close resemblance to those of Hayes, hut upon his wife being questioned about it, she so plausibly accounted for her husband's absence, that they concluded they were mistaken, and thought no more of the matter. At length, the head beginning to putrify, it was ordered to be placed in spirits, and kept in the custody of Mr. Westbrook, a surgeon of Westminster.

Some time now elapsed without farther enquiry, and the affair was almost forgotten; but Mr. Hayes not making his appearance, the suspicions of his friends were again aroused, and were strengthened by the circumstance that to several of them who called on her at different times, Mrs. Hayes gave quite different accounts of her husband's place of residence, and the cause of his long absence. Two of then at length resolved to inspect the head more narrowly, and feeling convinced that it was Mr. Hayes's, they obtained a warrant for the apprehension of his wife, Wood, and Billings, with whom she had been observed to be remarkably intimate. Just at this