Y. Rap. So am I; come, sir, four horses, I hope.
Vor. No, sir.

Y. Rap. That's a great pity. Pray, sir, will you have the goodness to tell your coachman to drive like the old Harry. Vor. Sir, to oblige you.

Y. Rap. I'll be very much obliged to you.

Waiter.
Y. Rap.

[Enter Waiter.]

Your clothes are come, sir.
That's lucky.

Vor. Then I'll wait for you.

Y. Rap. Wait for me! nobody need wait for me; I'll be with you in a crack. Do you push on; I'll keep moving ; I'll take care nobody waits for me. Exeunt severally.]

Scene 3.

[Enter Old and Young Rapid, Vortex and Miss Vortex.] Miss Vor Welcome to Bangalore Hall, gentlemen.

Y. Rap. Charming house! plenty of rooin! [Runs about and looks at everything.]

O. Rap. A very spacious apartment, indeed.

Vor. Yes sir; but I declare I forget the dimensions of this room

O. Rap. Sir, if you please, I'll measure it-my cane is exactly a yard, good, honest measure; 'tis handy--and that mark is the half-yard

Y. Rap. [Overhears, and snatches the cane from him.] Confound it! the pictures, father-look at the pictures; [pointing with the cane;] did you ever see such charming—

Miss Vor. Do you like pictures?

Y. Rap. Exceedingly. ma'am; but I should like them a great deal better, if they just moved a little.

Miss Vor. Ha! ha! I must retire to dress; till dinner, gentlemen, adieu. [Exit]

Y. Rap. [To his father.]

Father! you'll ruin every

thing! can't you keep the tailor under.

Vor Your son seems rather impatient.

O. Rap. Very, sir,-always was. I remember a certain duke

Y. Rap. That's right, lay the scene high; push the duke; push him as far as he'll go.

O. Rap. I will. I will. I remember a certain duke used to say, "Mr. Rapid, your son is as sharp as a needle."

Y. Rap. At it again!

O. Rap. As a needle

Y. Rap. [Interrupting him.] Is true to the pole. As a needle is true to the pole, says the duke, so will your son, says the duke, be to everything spirited and fashionable, says the duke. Am I always to be tortured with your infernal needles? [Aside to Old Rapid.]

Vor. Now to sound them. Aside.] I hear, gentlemen, your business in this part of the country, is with Sir Hubert Stanley, respecting some money transactions.

O. Rap. 'Tis a secret, sir.

Vor. Oh! no-the baronet avows his wish to sell his estate.

O. Rap. Oh! that alters the case.

Vor. I think that it would be a desirable purchase for you I should be happy in such neighbors and if you should want forty or fifty thousand, ready money, I'll supply it with pleasure.

O. Rap. Oh, sir, how kind! If my son wishes to purchase it. I would rather leave it entirely with him.

Y. Rap. And I would rather leave it entirely to you. Vor. Very well, I'll propose for it. [Aside.] There is a very desirable borough interest; then you could sit in parliament.

Y. Rap. I in parliament? ha! ha!

O. Rap. No! that would be a botch.

Y. Rap. No, no; I was once in the gallery-crammed in-no moving--expected to hear the great guns-up got a little fellow, nobody knew who, gave us a three hours' speech -I got deuced fidgetty-the house called for the question, I joined in the cry- the question, the question!" says I-a member spied me-cleared the gallery--got hustled by my brother spectators--obliged to scud - oh! it would never do for me.

Vor. But you must learn patience.

Y. Rap. Then make me speaker-if that wouldn't teach me patience, nothing would.

Vor. Do you dislike, sir parliamentary eloquence? O. Rap. Sir. I never heard one of your real, downright parliamentary speeches in my life ---never. [Yawns.]

Y. Rap. By your yawning. I should think you had heard a great many.

Vor. Oh, how lucky! at last I shall get my dear speech spoken Sir, I am a member and I mean to

Y. Rap. Keep moving.

Vor. Why, I mean to speak, I assure you; and-
Y. Rap. Push on, then.

Vor. What speak my speech? That I will--I'll speak it. Y. Rap. Oh, the mischief! don't yawn so. [To Ola Rapid.]

O. Rap. I never get a comfortable nap, never!

Y. Rap. You have a very good chance now-confound all speeches-oh! [Aside.]

Vor. Pray, be seated. [They sit on each side Vortex.] Now we'll suppose that the chair. [Pointing to a chair.] O. Rap. Suppose it the chair! why, it is a chair, is'nt it? Vor. Pshaw! I mean

Y. Rap. He knows what you mean-'tis his humor.
Vor. Oh, he's witty!

Y. Rap Oh! remarkably brilliant indeed. [Signifi cantly to his father.]

Vor. What, are you a wit, sir?

O. Rap. A what? yes I am- -I am a wit.

Vor. Well now I'll begin. Oh, what a delicious moment! The house, when they approve, cry," Hear him, hear him!" I only give you a hint in case anything should strike. Y. Rap. Push on. I can never stand it. [Aside.]

Vor. Now shall I charm them. [Addresses the chair.] "Sir, had I met your eye at an earlier hour, I should not have blinked the present question, but having caught what has fallen from the opposite side, I shall scout the idea of going over the usual ground." What! no applause yet? [Aside-During this time Old Rapid has fallen asleep, and Young Rapid, after showing great fretfulness and impatience, runs to the back scene, throws up the window and looks out.] "But I shall proceed, and I trust, without interruption." [Turns round and sees Old Rapid asleep.] Upon my soul, this is what do you mean, sir? [Old Rapid awakes.]

O. Rap. What's the matter?

Hear him! hear him!

Vor. Pray. sir, don't you blush? [Sees Young Rapid at the window.] What the deuce!

Y. Rap. [Looking around.

Hear him! hear him!

Vor. By the soul of Cicero. 'tis too much.

O. Rap. Oh, Neddy, for shame of yourself to fall asleep! I mean, to look out of the window. I am very sorry, sir, anything should go across the grain. I say, Ned, smooth him down. [Aside.]

Y. Rap. I will, I will; but what shall I say? [Aside.] The fact is, sir, I heard a cry of fire--upon-the-the-the water, and

Vor. Well, but do you wish to hear the end of iny speech? Y. Rap. Upon my honor, I do.

Vor. Then we'l! only suppose this little interruption a message from the lords, or something of that sort. sit, Young Rapid fretful.] Where did I leave off?

They

Y. Rap. Oh! I recollect; at, "I therefore briefly conclude with moving an adjournment." [Rising.]

66

Vor. Nonsense! no such thing. [Putting him down in the chair. Oh, I remember! I shall therefore proceed, and I trust without interruption"

[Enter Servant.]

Vor. Get out of the room, you villain!" Without interruption❞—

Ser. I say, sir

Y. Rap. Hear him! hear him!

Ser. Dinner is waiting.

Y. Rap. [Jumping up.] Dinner waiting! Come along, sir.

Vor. Never mind the dinner

Y. Rap. But I like it smoking.

O Rap. So do I: be it ever so little, let me have it hot. Vor. Won't you hear my speech?

Y. Rap. To be sure we will-but now to dinner. Come, we'll move together. Capital speech! Push on, sir. Come along dad. Push him on, dad. [Exeunt, forcing Vortex out.]

XXXIII. FROM FISH OUT OF WATER.--Lunn.

SIR GEORGE COURTLEY-ALDERMAN GAYFARE-CHARLES GAYFARE-STEWARD-SAM SAVORY-FOOTMAN-ELLEN COURT

LEY-LUCY.

Scene 1. The ante-room in the house of Sir George Courtley-on one side a fire-place, with fire; on the other side, a writing-table, with pens, ink, and paper-a door leading to an inner apartment.

Steward. [Speaking without.] Don't tell me, sir; say that I'm not at home; I shall not be at home these two hours.

[Enter Steward, with a bundle of letters in his hand.] In fact, one might as well be a minister as a minister's factotum. Since my master's appointment as envoy to Copenhagen, I've scarcely had a moment's peace. night or day Forty applications did I receive for the situation of valet, before I could dispose of it to my satisfaction! the place of cook still remains upon my hands; that.. with a little management, may be worth something; and. now that Sir George has confided to me the task of procuring him a secretary, I suppose, if our stay would admit of it, I should be as much courted as the first lord of the treasury.

[Enter Alderman Gayfare. pushing aside a Footman, who attempts to impede his entrance.]

Gayfare. [To Footman. Stand out of the way; what, denied admission to the house of Sir George Courtley! [Exit Footman.]

Stew. [Aside.] Ha my master's old friend and banker. Gay. Well Steward, how do you do? I'm glad I've found an old acquaintance, at last. I don't wonder at the footman not knowing me; for, what with my business in the city, and your master's residing so much in the country, I verily believe 'tis nearly two years since we met; however, I now wish to speak with him on business of importance.

Stew. I'm sorry for that. sir. for his excellency is at this moment closeted with one or two noblemen of the cabinet, and cannot possibly be disturbed.

Gay. When does he intend setting out for Copenhagen? Stew. To morrow morning, sir; his own and Miss Courtley's trunks a already packed, and on the carriage.