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Snarl. Very fine, and good! It is iron gray.
Scout. Don't you remember our going to school?
Snarl. What! along with Old Iron Fist ?

Scout.

The same You was reckoned the prettiest boy in the whole school.

Snarl. Yes; my mother said I always was a pretty boy.

Scout. This cloth feels very smooth and fine.

Snarl. Right Spanish wool, I assure you. Let me send your quantity to your house.

Scout. Stop! stop! Pay as you go, pay as you go; that is always my maxim.

Snarl. And, egad, a very good maxim 'tis! I wish all my customers made use of the same.

Scout. Don't you remember the tricks you used to play the curate?

Snarl. Yes, very well.

Scout. Ay, you was always full of mischief. What is this cloth a yard?

Snarl. Why, to anybody else it should be nineteen shilllings and sixpence; but―

Scout. Now you are going to favor me.

Snarl. No, I am not; only as you are a particular friend, I won't charge you but nineteen; and, luckily, here is just your quantity cut off.

Scout.

That is lucky: I'll take it home with me. Snarl. By no means.-My boy-

Scout. Why would you take the poor boy from his work? I don't mind carrying it myself.

Snarl. But let me measure it; perhaps there may be some mistake.

Scout. No mistake; d'ye think I doubt your word?
Snarl.

But the price?

Scout. Never mind that I leave it entirely to you. Well, good morning: don't forget the goose; you'll be sure to be there time enough to dine. before you receive your money. Good morning-don't forget. [Exit.]

Snarl Egad! but he has carried off my cloth-but he'll pay. O yes, he'll pay: for he must be a very honest man, or he never would have told me of the fifty pounds, and invite me to dine off the goose into the bargain. I am sorry I cheated him in the cloth. But no matter; it is the way I got all my money. [Exit.]

Scene 3.--A Wood-Cottage.

[Enter Scout and Sheepface.]

Scout. Egad, I think I have made a good morning's work! This cloth will enable me to make a genteel appearance-but who have we here? Sure, I know that

face.

Sheep. Sarvant, sir. I am come to ask your worship to stand my friend against a-his worship, my master.

Scout. What, the rich farmer here that lives in the neighborhood?

Sheep. Yes yes - he lives in the neighborhood, sure enough; and if you will stand my friend, you shall be paid to your heart's content.

Scout. Ay! now you speak to the purpose:-come, you must tell me how it was.

Sheep. Why, you must know, my master gives me but small wages very small wages indeed! So I thought I might as well do a little business on my own account, and so make myself amends without any damage to him, with an honest neighbor of mine-a little bit of a butcher by trade.

Scout. Well, but what business can you have to do with him?

Sheep. Why, saving your worship's presence, I hinders the sheep from dying of the rot.

Scout. Ah!-how do you contrive that?

Sheep. I cuts their throats before it comes to them. Scout. What! I suppose, then, your master thinks you kill his sheep for the sake of selling their carcasses

?

Sheep. Yes; and I cannot beat it out of his head for the soul of me.

Scout. Well, then, you must tell me all the particulars about it. Relate every circumstance, and don't hide a single

item.

Sheep. Why, then, sir, you must know, that last night, as I was going down,-must I tell the truth?

Scout. Yes, yes you must tell the truth here, or we shall not be able to lie to the purpose anywhere else.

Sheep. Well, then, last night. after I was married, having a little leisure time upon my hands, I goes down to our pen; and, as I was musing on, I don't know what, out I takes my knife, and happening by mere accident, saving your worship's presence, to put it under the throat of one of

the fattest wethers-I don't know how it came about, but I had not been long there, before the wether died, and all of a sudden, as a body may say.

Scout. What! and somebody was looking on all the while?

Sheep. Yes, master. from behind the hedge, and would have it, it died all along with me; and so, you see, he laid a shower of blows on me; but I hope your worship will stand my friend, and not let me lose the fruits of my honest labors all at once.

Scout. Why, there are two ways of settling this business; and one is, I think, to be done without putting you to any

expense.

Sheep.

Scout. service.

Sheep. Scout. ings all in

Let's try that first, by all means.

You have scraped up something in your master's

I have been up late and early for it, sir.

I suppose you have taken care to have your savhard cash?

Sheep. Yes, sir.

Scout. Well, then, when you go home, take it and hide it in the safest place you can find.

Sheep. Yes, sir, that I'll do.

Scout. I'll take care your master shall pay all costs and charges.

Sheep. Ay, so he ought; he can afford it.

Scout. It shall be nothing out of your pocket.

Sheep. That's just as I would have it.

Scout. He'll have all the trouble and expense of bringing you to trial, and, after that, the pleasure of seeing you hanged. Sheep. Let's take the other way.

Scout. Well, let me see: I suppose he'll take out a warrant against you, and have you taken before Justice Mittimus.

Sheep. So I understand.

Scout. I think the justice's credulity is easily imposed on; so, when you are ordered before him, I'll attend; and to all the questions that you are asked, answer nothing. but imitate the voice of the lambs, when they bleat after the You can speak that dialect.

ewes.

Sheep.

It's my mother tongue.

Scout. But if I bring you clear off, I expect to be very well paid for this.

Sheep. So you shall; I'll pay you to your heart's content

Scout. Be sure you answer nothing but baa!
Sheep. Baa!

Scout.

that.

Ay! that will do very well be sure you stick to

Sheep. Yes, your worship. never fear I. What trouble a body has to keep one's own in this world. [Exeunt.] [Enter Snarl.]

Snarl. Ay, ay; that's my neighbor Scout's house: he is just come home, to give orders about the dinner, I warrant.Egad. I think I shall make a good day's work: what with the fifty pounds his father owed mine, which, by-the-by, I know nothing at all about, and the money for the cloth, and the goose that is to be dressed by a famous receipt of Alderman Dumpling's-egad, I believe they are dressing it now.—I'll in, and see what is going forward. [Exit.]

Scene 4.-A room in Scout's House. An old couch, an easy-chair, center-table, with basins, viols, &c.

Scout.

Wife, wife-come along-I think I hear Snarl at the door; come to your place, and mind your cue. [Sits down.

Mrs. S. Never fear me- -I warrant I shall make an excellent nurse.

Scout. Ha ha! I wonder how Snarl will relish the goose? But hark! he is certainly coming.

[Enter Snarl

Snarl. Where is my friend, Mr. Scout? Is the goose a dressing?

Scout. Wife, wife-here comes the doctor-he brings me the cooling mixture-the cooling mixture!

Snarl. The cooling mixture!

Mrs. S. Oh, sir! I hope you have brought something for my poor husband; he has been confined to his room, and has not been out this fortnight!

Snarl. Not out of his room this fortnight!

Mrs. S. No. sir; this day fortnight, of all the good days in the year, he was seized with a lunacy fit and has not been out of doors since !

Snarl. Why, woman! What are you talking about ?— Why, he came to my shop this morning and, by the same token, he bought four yards of iron gray cloth, and I am coine for my money.

Mrs. S This morning!

Snarl. This morning, and invited me to dine with him to-day off a goose, and to receive fifty pounds which his father owed mine-I'll speak to him. [Crosses.] How do you do, good Mr. Scout?

Scout.

Oh, how d'ye do, good Mr. Drench? Snarl. Good Mr. Drench!

Mrs. S. He takes you for the doctor, Mr. Drench.

Scout. Wife,-wife, keep the doctor from me, and a fig for the disease.

Mrs. S. For heaven's sake, sir, if you can't relieve him, don't torment him.

Snarl. Hold your tongue, woman. I want my cloth or my money. Mr. Scout! Mr. Scout!

Scout. See! see! see! There are three nice butterflies; there they fly; there they fly! they fly! [Jumps after them,] with bat wings-I've catched them-I have them-Tally-ho, tally-ho-Oh! oh! oh! [Falls in the chair.]

Snarl. Butterflies!-Hang me if I can see any. I wish to see my cloth.

Scout. [Jumps on the chair.] My lord, and gentlemen. of the jury, my client, Sir Hugh Witherington, charges the defendant, Mr. Mungummery, that is, moreover, nevertheless, as shall appear, as [Spits at him.-Jumps down and dances. Dol de rol, de lol! Oh! oh! oh! [Jumps crossegged on the chair.]

[graphic]

Snarl

There. now, he's fancying himself a tailor, and at

work upon my cloth.

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