the honour to carry your message; but, to tell you a secret, I believe I shall have just such another affair on my own hands. There is a gay captain here, who put a jest on me lately, at the expense of my country, and I only want to fall in with the gentleman, to call him out.

Acres. By my valour, I should like to see you fight first! Odds life, I should like to see you kill him, if it was only to get a little lesson!

Sir L. I shall be very proud of instructing you.Well, for the present--but remember now, when you meet your antagonist, do every thing in a mild and agreeable manner. -Let be as keen, your courage but, at the same time, as polished, as your sword.

[Exeunt severally.

ACT THE FOURTH.

SCENE I.

ACRES'S Lodgings.

ACRES and DAVID.

David. Then, by the mass, sir, I would do no such thing!-ne'er a Sir Lucius O'Trigger in the kingdom should make me fight, when I wa'n't so minded. Oons! what will the old lady say, when she hears o't!

Acres. But my honour, David, my honour! I must be very careful of my honour.

David. Ay, by the mass! and I would be very careful of it, and I think in return my honour couldn't do less than to be very careful of me.

Acres. Odds blades! David, no gentleman will ever risk the loss of his honour!

David. I say, then, it would be but civil in honour never to risk the loss of a gentleman.-Lookye, master, this honour seems to me to be a marvellous false friend, ay, truly, a very courtier like servant.-Put the case, I was a gentleman (which, thank God, no one can say of me); well-my honour makes me quarrel with another gentleman of my acquaintance.-Sowe fight. (Pleasant enough that) Boh!-I kill him(the more's my luck.) Now, pray, who gets the profit of it?-why, my honour.-But put the case that he kills me! by the mass! I go to the worms, and my honour whips over to my enemy.

Acres. No, David, in that case!-Odds crowns and laurels! your honour follows you to the grave.

David. Now, that's just the place were I could make a shift to do without it.

Acres. Z-ds! David, you are a coward !-It doesn't become my valour to listen to you.-What, shall I disgrace my ancestors?-Think of that, David -think what it would be to disgrace my ancestors?

David. Under favour, the surest way of not disgracing them, is to keep as long as you can out of their company. Lookye now, master, to go to them in such haste with an ounce of lead in your brains-I should think it might as well be let alone. Our ancestors are very good kind of folks'; but they are the last people I should chuse to have a visiting acquaintance with.

Acres. But, David, now, you don't think there is such very, very, very great danger, hey i-odds life! people often fight without any mischief done!

David By the mass, I think 'tis ten to one against you!-Oons! here to meet some lion-headed fellow,

I warrant, with his d-ned double barrelled swords, and cut-and-thrust pistols! Lord bless us! it makes me tremble to think o't- -those be such desperate bloody minded weapons! well, I never could abide them!-from a child I never could fancy them !—I suppose there an't been so merciless a beast in the world as your loaded pistol!

Acres. Z-ds! I won't be afraid-odds fire and fury! you shan't make me afraid.- Here is the challenge, and I have sent for my dear friend, Jack Absolute, to carry it for me.

David. Ay, i'the name of mischief, let him be the messenger. For my part, I wouldn't lend a hand to it for the best horse in your stable. By the mass! it don't look like another letter!-it is, as I may say, a designing and malicious looking letter! and I warrant smells of gunpowder, like a soldier's pouch!Oons! I wouldn't swear it mayn't go off!

Acres. Out, you poltroon!-you han't the valour of a grasshopper.

David. Well, I say no more-'twill be sad news, to be sure, at Clod Hall!-but I ha' done.-How Phillis will howl, when she hears of it!-ay, poor bitch, she little thinks what shooting her master's going after!—and I warrant old Crop, who has carried your honour, field and road, these ten years, will curse the hour he was born! [Whimpering.

Acres. It won't do, David-I am determined to fight-so get along, you coward, while I'm in the mind.

David. Good b'ye, master.

[Whimpering.

Acres. Get along, you cowardly, dastardly, croaking raven.

[Exit DAVID.

Enter CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.

Capt. Abs. What's the matter, Bob?

Acres. A vile, sheep-hearted blockhead!—If I hadn't the valour of St. George, and the dragon to boot

Capt. Abs. But what did you want, with me, Bob? Acres. Oh!-there- [Gives him the Challenge. Capt. Abs. To Ensign Beverley. So-what's going on now! [Aside.] Well, what's this?

Acres. A challenge!

Capt. Abs. Indeed!-Why, you won't fight him; will you, Bob?

Acres. 'Egad, but I will, Jack.-Sir Lucius has wrought me to it. He has left me full of rage-and I'll fight this evening, that so much good passion mayn't be wasted.

Capt. Abs. But what have I to do with this?

Acres. Why, as I think you know something of this fellow, I want you to find him out for me, and give him this mortal defiance.

Capt. Abs. Well, give it me, and trust me he gets it.

Acres. Thank you, my dear friend, my dear Jack; but it is giving you a great deal of trouble.

Capt. Abs. Not in the least-I beg you won't mention it.-No trouble in the world, I assure you.

Acres. You are very kind.- -What it is to have a friend!-you couldn't be my second-could you,

Jack?

Capt. Abs. Why no, Bob-not in this affair-it would not be quite so proper.

Acres. Well, then I must get my friend, Sir Lucius. I shall have your good wishes, however, Jack. Capt. Abs. Whenever he meets you, believe me.

Enter SERVANT.

Serv. Sir Anthony Absolute is below, inquiring for the Captain.

Capt. Abs. I'll come instantly. Well, my little hero, success attend you.

Going.

Acres. Stay, stay, Jack.- If Beverley should ask you what kind of a man your friend Acres is, do tell him I am a devil of a fellow-will you, Jack?

Capt. Abs. To be sure I shall. I'll say you are a determined dog-hey, Bob?

Acres. Ay, do, do-and if that frightens him, 'egad, perhaps he mayn't come. So tell him I generally kill a man a week; will you, Jack?

Capt. Abs. I will, I will; I'll say you are called, in the country," Fighting Bob."

Acres. Right, right-'tis all to prevent mischief; for I don't want to take his life, if I clear my honour. Capt. Abs. No!-that's very kind of Acres. Why, you don't wish me to kill him, do you,

Jack?

you.

Capt. Abs. No, upon my soul, I do not. But a devil of a fellow, hey? [Going Acres. True, true-But stay-stay, Jack-you may add, that you never saw me in such a rage beforea most devouring rage!

Capt. Abs. I will, I will.

Acres. Remember, Jack-a determined dog!

Capt. Abs. Ay, ay, " Fighting Bob."

SCENE II.

[Exeunt severally.

MRS. MALAPROP's Lodgings.

MRS. MALAPROP and LYDIA.

Mrs. M. Why, thou perverse one!-tell me what you can object to him?-Isn't he a handsome man? -tell me that.-A genteel man? a pretty figure of a

man?

Lydia. She little thinks whom she is praising! [Aside.] So is Beverley, ma'am.

Mrs. M. No caparisons, miss, if you please.