TONY.

Ecod and fo it would, mafter Slang. I'd then shew what it was to keep choice of company.

SECOND FELLOW.

O he takes after his own father for that. To be fure old 'fquire Lumpkin was the finest gentleman I ever fet my eyes on. For winding the straight horn, or beating a thicket for a hare, or a wench, he never had his fellow. It was a faying in the place, that he kept the best horfes, dogs, and girls in the whole county.

TONY.

Ecod, and when I'm of age, I'll be no baftard, I promise you. I have been thinking of Bett Bouncer and the miller's grey mare to begin with. But, come, my boys, drink about and be merry, for you pay no reckoning. Well, Stingo, what's the

matter?

Enter LANDLORD.

LANDLORD.

There be two gentlemen in a post-chaife at the door. They have loft their way upo' the forest; and they are talking fomething about Mr. Hardcaftle.

TONY.

As fure as can be, one of them must be the gentleman that's coming down to court my fifter. Do they feem to be Londoners?

LANDLORD.

I believe they may. They look woundily like Frenchmen.

TONY.

Then defire them to ftep this way, and I'll fet them right in a twinkling. (Exit Landlord.) Gentlemen, as they may'nt be good enough company for you, ftep down for a moment, and I'll be with you in the fqueezing of a lemon. [Exeunt mob.

TONY, folus.

Father-in-law has been calling me whelp, and hound, this half year. Now, if I pleased, I could be fo revenged upon the old grumbletonian. But then I'm afraid-afraid of what! I fhall foon be worth fifteen hundred a year, and let him frighten me out of that if he can.

Enter LANDLORD, conducting MARLOW and

HASTINGS.

MARLOW.

What a tedious uncomfortable day have we had of it! We were told it was but forty miles across the country, and we have come above threefcore.

HASTINGS.

And all, Marlow, from that unaccountable referve of yours, that would not let us inquire more frequently on the way.

MAR

MARLOW.

I own, Haftings, I am unwilling to lay myself under an obligation to every one I meet; and often stand the chance of an unmannerly answer.

HASTINGS.

At prefent, however, we are not likely to receive any answer.

TONY.

No offence, gentlemen. But I'm told you have been inquiring for one Mr. Hardcastle in those parts. Do you know what part of the country you

are in?

HASTINGS.

Not in the leaft, Sir, but should thank you for information.

TONY.

Nor the way you came?

HASTINGS.

No, Sir? but if you can inform us

TONY.

Why, gentlemen, if you know neither the road you are going, nor where you are, nor the road you came, the first thing I have to inform you is, that you have loft your way.

MARLOW.

We wanted no ghost to tell us that.

TONY.

Pray, gentlemen, may I he fo bold as to ask the

place from whence you came ?

MARLOW.

That's not neceffary towards directing us where we are to go.

TONY.

No offence; but question for question is all fair, you know. Pray, gentlemen, is not this fame Hardcastle a cross-grain'd, oldfashion'd, whimsical fellow, with an ugly face; a daughter, and a pretty fon?

HASTINGS.

We have not feen the gentleman, but he has the family you mention.

TONY.

The daughter, a tall, trapefing, trolloping, talkative maypole the fon, a pretty, well-bred, agreeable youth, that every body is fond of.

MARLOW.

Our information differs in this. The daughter is faid to be well-bred and beautiful; the son, an aukward booby, reared up, and fpoiled at his mother's apron-ftring.

TONY.

He-he-hem!-Then, gentlemen, all I have to tell you is, that you won't reach Mr. Hardcastle's house this night, I believe.

Unfortunate!

HASTINGS.

TONY.

It's a damn'd long, dark, boggy, dirty, dangerous way. Stingo, tell the gentlemen the way to

Mr.

Mr. Hardcastle's! (Winking upon the Landlord.) Mr. Hardcaftle's of Quagmire Marfh, you understand

me.

LANDLORD.

Mafter Hardcaftle's! Lock-a-daify, my mafters, you're come a deadly deal wrong! When you came to the bottom of the hill, you should have crofs'd down Squash-lane.

MARLOW.

Crofs down Squash-lane!

LANDLORD.

Then you were to keep ftraight forward, 'till you came to four roads.

MARLOW.

Come to where four roads meet!

TONY.

Aye; but you must be sure to take only one of

them.

MARLOW.

O Sir, you're facetious.

TONY.

Then keeping to the right, you are to go fideways till you come upon Crack-skull common : there you must look fharp for the track of the wheel, and go forward, 'till you come to farmer Murrain's barn. Coming to the farmer's barn, you are to turn to the right, and then to the left, and then to the right about again, till you find out the old mill.

MAR