N° 39. SATURDAY, JULY 9, 1709. Quicquid agunt bomines nostri est farrago libelli. JUV. Sat. I. 85, 86. P. Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, By ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esquire. Grecian Coffeehouse, July 7. As I am called forth, by the immense love I bear to my fellow-creatures, and the warm inclination I feel within me, to stem, as far as I can, the prevailing torrent of vice and ignorance; so I cannot more properly pursue that noble impulse, than by setting forth the excellence of virtue and knowledge in their native and beautiful colours. For this reason, I made my late excursion to Oxford, where those qualities appear in their highest lustre, and are the only pretences to honour and distinction. Superiority is there given in proportion to men's advancement in wisdom and learning; and that just rule of life is so universally received among those happy people, that you shall see an Earl walk bareheaded to the son of the meanest artificer, in respect to seven years more worth and knowledge than the nobleman is possessed of. In other places they bow to men's fortunes, but here to their understandings. It is not to be expressed, how pleasing the order, the discipline, the regularity of their lives, is to a philosopher, who has, by many years experience in the world, learned to contemn every thing but what is revered in this mansion of select and well taught spirits. The magnificence of their palaces, the greatness of their revenues, the sweetness of their groves and retirements, seem equally adapted for the residence of princes and philosophers; and a familiarity with objects of splendour, as well as places of recess, prepares the inhabitants with an equanimity for their future fortunes, whether humble or illustrious. How was I pleased, when I looked round at St. Mary's, and could, in the faces of the ingenious youth, see ministers of state, chancellors, bishops, and judges. Here only is human life! Here only the life of man is that of a rational being! Here men understand, and are employed in works worthy their noble nature. This transitory being passes away in an employment not unworthy a future state, the contemplation of the great decrees of Providence. Each man lives as if he were to answer the questions made to Job, "Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? Who shut up the sea with doors, and said, Hitherto thou shalt come, and no farther?" Such speculations make life agreeable, and death welcome. But, alas! I was torn from this noble society by the business of this dirty mean world, and the cares of fortune; for I was obliged to be in London against the seventh day of the term, and accordingly governed myself by my Oxford almanack *, and came last night; but find, to my great astonishment, that this ignorant town began the term *The humour of this paper is not peculiarly restricted to the Oxford Almanack for the year 1709; it is equally applicable to all the Oxford Almanacks before or since that period, being founded on the difference between the University terms and the Law terms, just as obvious now as it was then; as may be seen, by comparing the Oxford with the London Almanack. on the twenty-fourth of the last month, in opposition to all the learning and astronomy of the famous University of which I have been speaking; according to which, the term certainly was to commence on the first instant. You may be sure, a man, who has turned his studies as I have, could not be mistaken in point of time; for, knowing I was to come to town in term, I examined the passing moments very narrowly, and called an eminent astronomer to my assistance. Upon very strict ob‐ servation we found, that the cold has been so sewere this last winter (which is allowed to have a benumbing quality), that it retarded the earth in moving round, from Christmas to this season, full seven days and two seconds. My learned friend assured me further, that the earth had lately received a shogg from a comet that crossed its vortex; which, if it had come ten degrees nearer to us, had made us lose this whole term. I was indeed once of opi nion, that the Gregorian computation was the most regular, as being eleven days before the Julian; but am now fully convinced, that we ought to be seven days after the chancellor and judges, and eighteen before the Pope of Rome; and that the Oxonian computation is the best of the three. These are the reasons which I have gathered from philosophy and nature; to which I can add other circumstances in vindication of the account of this learned body who publish this almanack. It is notorious to philosophers, that joy and grief can hasten and delay time. Mr. Locke is of opinion, that a man in great misery may so far lose his measure, as to think a minute an hour; or in joy make an hour a minute. Let us examine the present case by this rule, and we shall find, that the cause of this general mistake in the British nation, has been the great success of the last cam paign, and the following hopes of peace. Stocks ran so high at the Exchange, that the citizens had gained three days of the courtiers; and we have, indeed, been so happy all this reign, that, if the University did not rectify our mistakes, we should think ourselves but in the second year of her present Majesty. It would be endless to enumerate the many damages that have happened by this ignorance of the vulgar. All the recognizances within the diocese of Oxford have been forfeited, for not appearing on the first day of this fictitious term. The University has been nonsuited, in their action. against the booksellers for printing Clarendon in quarto. Indeed, what gives me the most quick concern, is the case of a poor gentleman, my friend, who was the other day taken in execution by a set of ignorant bailiffs. He should, it seems, have pleaded in the first week of term; but being a Master of Arts of Oxford, he would not recede from the Oxonian computation. He shewed Mr. Broad the almanack, and the very day when the term began; but the merciless, ignorant fellow, against all sense and learning, would hurry him away he went indeed quietly enough; but he has taken exact notes of the time of arrest, and sufficient witnesses of his being carried into gaol; and has, by advice of the recorder of Oxford, brought his action; and we doubt not but we shall pay them off with damages, and blemish the reputation of Mr. Broad. We have one convincing proof, which all that frequent the Courts of Justice are witnesses of: the dog that comes constantly to Westminster on the first day of the term, did not appear until the first day according to the Oxford almanack; whose instinct I take to be a better guide than men's erroneous opinions, which are usually biassed by interest. I judge in this case, as King Charles the Se I cond victualled his navy, with the bread which one of his dogs chose of several pieces thrown before him, rather than trust to the asseverations of the victuallers. Mr. Cowper*, and other learned counsel, have already urged the authority of this almanack, in behalf of their clients. We shall, therefore, go on with all speed in our cause; and doubt not, but chancery will give at the end what we lost in the beginning, by protracting the term for us until Wednesday come seven-night. the University Orator shall for ever pray, &c. From my own Apartment, July 31. And The subject of Duels has, I find, been started with so good success, that it has been the frequent subject of conversation among polite men; and a dialogue of that kind has been transmitted to me verbatim as follows. The persons concerned in it are men of honour and experience in the manners of men, and have fallen upon the truest foundation, as well as searched the bottom of this evil. Mr. Sage. If it were in my power, every man that drew his sword, until in the service, or purely to defend his life, person, or goods, from violence (I mean abstracted from all puncto's or whims of honour), should ride the wooden horse in the Tiltyard for such first offence; for the second stand in the pillory; and for the third be prisoner in Bedlam for life. Col. Plume. I remember, that a rencounter or duel was so far from being in fashion among the officers that served in the parliament-army, that on the contrary it was as disreputable, and as great an im *Spencer Cowper, brother to the first Earl of the name, at that time a celebrated counsellor, and afterwards Chief Justice of the Common Pleas. |