Trappanti. Faith, Sir, I don't know but a nothingelse may be very good meat, when anything-else is not to be had.

Hypolita. Then, pr'ythee, friend, let's have thy neck of mutton before that is gone too.

Trappanti. Sir, he shall lay it down this minute; I'll see it done. Gentlemen, I'll wait upon ye presently; for a minute I must beg your pardon and leave to lay the cloth myself.

Hypolita. By no means, Sir.

Trappanti. No ceremony, dear Sir; indeed I 'll do it. Exeunt Host and TRAPPANTI.

LOVE'S LAST SHIFT: OR THE FOOL IN FASHION

Two wo brothers named Worthy are frequent visitors at the house of Sir William Wisewou'd, a rich old gentleman, father to Narcissa and uncle to Hillaria. Sir William Wisewou'd designs to marry his daughter to the elder Worthy, who is possessed of a large estate, but the young man, though he pretends to enter into his views, is really in love with Hillaria. The younger Worthy is paying his addresses to Narcissa while Sir William Wisewou'd believes him to be acting on his brother's behalf; he also mediates between his brother and Hillaria, who has offended him by encouraging the attentions of an empty-headed fop, Sir Novelty Fashion. Amanda (the friend of Narcissa and Hillaria), a deserted and devoted wife, whose stratagem to reclaim her dissolute husband, Loveless, gives the play its

name, succeeds in regaining his affections, and the brothers Worthy, after some difficulties about the ladies' fortunes, obtain the hands of Hillaria and Narcissa.

A Garden belonging to Sir WILLIAM WISEWOU'D'S House.

Enter NARCISSA, HILLARIA, and Sir NOVELTY FASHION.

Hillaria. Oh! for heaven's sake! no more of this gallantry, Sir Novelty: for I know you say the same to every woman you see.

Sir Novelty. Every one that sees you, Madam, must say the same. Your beauty, like the rack, forces every beholder to confess his crime-of daring to adore you.

Narcissa. Aside. Oh! I han't patience to hear all this. If he be blind I'll open his eyes. Aloud. I vow, Sir Novelty, you men of amour are strange creatures you think no woman worth your while, unless you walk over a rival's ruin to her heart : I know nothing has encouraged your passion to my cousin more than her engagement to Mr. Worthy.

Hillaria. Aside. Poor creature! Now is she angry she han't the addresses of a fop I nauseate.

Sir Novelty. Oh, Madam! as to that I hope the lady will easily distinguish the sincerity of her adorers. Though I must allow, Mr. Worthy is infinitely the handsomer person.

Narcissa. Oh fie! Sir Novelty, make not such a preposterous comparison.

Sir Novelty. Oh, Gad! Madam, there's no comparison.

Narcissa. Pardon me, Sir, he's an unpolished ani

mal.

Sir Novelty. Why, does your ladyship really think me tolerable?

Hillaria. Aside. So! She has snapt his heart already. Sir Novelty. Pray, Madam, how do I look to-day?— What, cursedly? I'll warrant ;-I don't know, Madam : -'Tis true-the town does talk of me indeed ;-but the devil take me, in my mind, I am a very ugly fellow. Narcissa. Now you are too severe, Sir Novelty. Sir Novelty. Not I, burn me :-for heaven's sake, deal freely with me, Madam ;-and if you can, tell me -one tolerable thing about me.

Hillaria. Aside. "Twould pose me, I'm sure. Narcissa. Oh, Sir Novelty! this is unanswerable; 'tis hard to know the brightest part of a diamond.

Sir Novelty. You'll make me blush, stop my vitals, Madam.-Aside. Egad, I always said she was a woman of sense. Strike me dumb, I am in love with her. I'll try her farther. Aloud. But, Madam, is it possible I may vie with Mr. Worthy?—Not that he is a rival of mine, Madam; for I can assure you, my inclinations lie where, perhaps, your ladyship little thinks.

Hillaria. Aside. So! now I am rid of him.

Sir Novelty. But pray tell me, Madam: for I really love a severe critick: I am sure you must believe he has a more happy genius in dress: for my part, I am but a sloven.

Narcissa. He is a genius unsufferable! Why he dresses worse than a captain of the militia: but you, Sir Novelty, are a true original, the very pink of fashion: I'll warrant you there's not a milliner in town but has got an estate by you.

Sir Novelty. I must confess, Madam, I am for doing good to my country: for you see this suit, MadamI suppose you are not ignorant what a hard time the ribband weavers have had since the late mourning : now my design is to set the poor rogues up again, by recommending this sort of trimming, the fancy is pretty well for second mourning.-By the way, Madam, I had fifteen hundred guineas laid in my hand, as a gratuity to encourage it: but i'gad I refused them, being too well acquainted with the consequence of taking a bribe in a national concern.

Hillaria. A very charitable fashion, indeed, Sir Novelty! But how if it should not take?

Narcissa. Ridiculous! Take! I warrant you in a week the whole town will have it; though perhaps Mr. Worthy will be one of the last of them: he's a mere Valet de Chambre to all fashions; and never is in any till his betters have left them off.

Sir Novelty. Nay, Gad, now I must laugh; for the devil take me if I did not meet him, not above a fortnight ago, in a coat with buttons no bigger than nutmegs. Hillaria. There, I must confess, you out-do him, Sir Novelty.

Sir Novelty. Oh, dear Madam, why mine are not above three inches diameter.

Hillaria. But methinks, Sir Novelty, your sleeve is a little too extravagant.

Sir Novelty. Nay, Madam, there you wrong me; mine does but reach my knuckles, but my Lord Overdo's cover his diamond ring.

Hillaria. Nay, I confess the fashion may be very useful to you gentlemen that make campaigns: for should you unfortunately lose an arm, or so, that sleeve might be very convenient to hide the defect on 't.

Sir Novelty. Hah! I think your ladyship's in the right on 't, Madam. Hiding his hand in his sleeve. Narcissa. Oh! such an air! so becoming a negligence-Upon my soul, Sir Novelty, you'll be the envy of the beau-monde.

Hillaria. Mr. Worthy! a good fancy were thrown away upon him; but you, sir, are an ornament to your clothes.

Sir Novelty. Then your ladyship really thinks they are-bien entendus?

Hillaria. A merveille, Monsieur.

Sir Novelty. Aside. She has almost as much wit as