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Novel. Then, I say, we had that familiar coxcomb, who is at home wheresoe'er he comes.

Olivia. Ay, that fool

Novel. Nay then, madam, your servant; I'm gone. Taking the fool out of one's mouth is worse than taking the bread out of one's mouth.

Olivia. I've done; your pardon, Mr. Novel: pray proceed.

Novel. I say, the rogue, that he may be the only wit in company, will let nobody else talk, and—

Olivia. Ay, those fops who love to talk all themselves are of all things my aversion.

Novel. Then you'll let me speak, madam, sure. The rogue, I say, will force his jest upon you; and I hate a jest that's forced upon a man, as much as a glass.

Eliza. Why, I hope, sir, he does not expect a man of your temperance in jesting should do him reason? Novel. What! interruption from this side too? I must thenOffers to rise, OLIVIA holds him. Olivia. No, sir.-But who else, prithee Mr. Novel, was there with you? Nay, thou shan't stir.

Novel. I beg your pardon, madam; I cannot stay in any place where I'm not allowed a little Christian liberty of railing.

Olivia. Nay, prithee Mr. Novel, stay: and though you should rail at me, I would hear you with patience. Prithee who else was there with you?

Novel. Your servant, madam.

Olivia. Nay, prithee tell us, Mr. Novel, prithee do. Novel. We had nobody else.

Olivia. Nay, faith, I know you had. Come, my Lord Plausible was there too; who is, cousin, a—

Eliza. You need not tell me what he is, cousin ; for I know him to be a civil, good-natured, harmless gentleman, that speaks well of all the world, and is always in good humour; and

Olivia. Hold, cousin, hold; I hate detraction. But I must tell you, cousin, his civility is cowardice, his good-nature want of wit, and he has neither courage nor sense to rail: and for his being always in humour, 'tis because he is never dissatisfied with himself. In fine, he is my aversion; and I never admit his visits beyond my hall.

Novel. No, he visit you! Damn him, cringing grinning rogue! if I should see him coming up to you, I would make bold to kick him down again.-Ha!

Enter Lord PLAUSIBLE.

My dear lord, your most humble servant.

Rises and salutes PLAUSIBLE and kisses him. Eliza. Aside. So, I find kissing and railing succeed each other with the angry men as well as with the angry women; and their quarrels are like love quarrels, since absence is the only cause of them; for as soon as the man appears again, they are over.

Lord Plausible. Your most faithful humble servant, generous Mr. Novel. And, madam, I am your eternal slave, and kiss your fair hands; which I had done sooner, according to your commands, but

Olivia. No excuses, my lord.

Eliza. Apart to OLIVIA. What, you sent for him then, cousin?

Novel. Aside. Ha! invited!

Olivia. I know you must divide yourself; for your good company is too general a good to be engrossed by any particular friend.

Lord Plausible. O lord, madam, my company! your most obliged, faithful, humble servant. But I could have brought you good company indeed; for I parted at your door with two of the worthiest, bravest men. Olivia. Who were they, my lord?

Novel. Who do you call the worthiest, bravest men, pray?

Lord Plausible. O, the wisest, bravest gentlemen! men of such honour and virtue! of such good qualities! ah!

Eliza. Aside. This is a coxcomb that speaks ill of all people a different way, and libels everybody with dull praise, and commonly in the wrong place; so makes his panegyrics abusive lampoons.

Olivia. But pray let me know who they were?

Lord Plausible. Ah! such patterns of heroic virtue ! such

Novel. Well; but who the devil are they?

Lord Plausible. The honour of our nation! the glory of our age! Ah, I could dwell a twelvemonth on their praise; which indeed I might spare by telling their names; Sir John Current and Sir Richard CourtTitle.

Novel. Court-Title! ha ha!

Olivia. And sir John Current! Why will you keep such a wretch company, my lord?

Lord Plausible. O madam, seriously you are a little too severe; for he is a man of unquestioned reputation in everything.

Olivia. Yes, because he endeavours only with the women to pass for a man of courage, and with the bullies for a wit; with the wits for a man of business, and with the men of business for a favourite at court; and at court for city-security.

Novel. And for sir Richard, he

Lord Plausible. He loves your choice picked company, persons that

Olivia. He loves a lord indeed; but

Novel. Pray, dear madam, let me have but a bold stroke or two at his picture. He loves a lord, as you say, though

Olivia. Though he borrowed his money, and ne'er paid him again.

Novel. And would bespeak a place three days before at the back-end of a lord's coach to Hyde-park.

Lord Plausible. Nay, i' faith, i' faith, you are both

too severe.

Olivia. Then to show yet more his passion for quality, he makes love to that fulsome coach-load of honour, my Lady Goodly, for he's always at her lodging.

Lord Plausible. Because it is the conventicle-gallant, the meeting-house of all the fair ladies, and glorious superfine beauties of the town.

Novel. Very fine ladies! there's first

Olivia. Her honour, as fat as an hostess.

Lord Plausible. She is something plump indeed, a goodly, comely, graceful person.

Novel. Then there's my lady Frances--what d'ye call her? as ugly—

Lord Plausible. She has wit in abundance, and the handsomest heel, elbow, and tip of an ear, you ever saw.

Novel. Heel and elbow! ha! ha! And there's my lady Betty, you know—

Olivia. As sluttish and slatternly as an Irishwoman bred in France.

Lord Plausible. Ah! all she has hangs with a loose air, indeed, and becoming negligence.

Eliza. You see all faults with lovers' eyes, I find, my lord.

Lord Plausible. Ah, madam, your most obliged, faithful, humble servant to command! But you can say nothing sure of the superfine mistress

Olivia. I know who you mean. She is as cen

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