Und. Promp. [To the Orchestra.] Gentlemen, will you play a few bars of something, just to- Puff. Ay, that's right; for as we have the scenes and dresses, egad, we'll go to't, as if it was the first night's performance ;but you need not mind stopping between the acts.-[Exit UNDER PROMPTER.-Orchestra play-then the bell rings.] So! stand clear, gentlemen. Now you know there will be a cry of Down! down!--Hats off!-Silence !-Then up curtain, and let us see what our painters have done for us. SCENE II.-Tilbury Fort. "Two SENTINELS discovered asleep." Dang. Tilbury Fort!-very fine indeed! [Curtain rises. Puff. A clock.-Hark! [Clock strikes.] I open with a clock striking, to beget an awful attention in the audience: it also marks the time, which is four o'clock in the morning, and saves a description of the rising sun, and a great deal about gilding the eastern hemisphere. Dang. But pray, are the sentinels to be asleep? Puff. Fast as watchmen. Sneer. Isn't that odd though at such an alarming crisis? Puff. To be sure it is,-but smaller things must give way to a striking scene at the opening; that's a rule. And the case is, that two great men are coming to this very spot to begin the piece now, it is not to be supposed they would open their lips, if these fellows were watching them; so, egad, I must either have sent them off their posts, or set them asleep. Sneer. Oh, that accounts for it. But tell us, who are these coming? Puff. These are they-Sir Walter Raleigh, and Sir Christopher Hatton. You'll know Sir Christopher by his turning out his toes-famous, you know, for his dancing. I like to preserve all the little traits of character.-Now attend. "Enter SIR WALTER RALEIGH and SIR CHRISTOPHER HATTON. "Sir Christ. True, gallant Raleigh !" Dang. What, they had been talking before? Puff. Oh yes; all the way as they came along.-[To the actors.] I beg pardon, gentlemen, but these are particular friends of mine, whose remarks may be of great service to us. -[To SNEER and DANGLE.] Don't mind interrupting them whenever anything strikes you. "Sir Christ. True, gallant Raleigh! But oh, thou champion of thy country's fame, This general muster ? and this throng of chiefs? Sneer. Pray, Mr. Puff, how came Sir Christopher Hatton never to ask that question before? Puff. What, before the play began?-how the plague could he? Dang. That's true, i'faith! Puff. But you will hear what he thinks of the matter. "Sir Christ. Alas! my noble friend, when I behold Yon tented plains in martial symmetry Array'd; when I count o'er yon glittering lines Surmise the state some danger apprehends !" Sneer. A very cautious conjecture that. Puff. Yes, that's his character; not to give an opinion but on secure grounds.-Now then. "Sir Walt. O most accomplish'd Christopher!" Puff. He calls him by his christian name, to show that they are on the most familiar terms. "Sir Walt. O most accomplish'd Christopher! I find Thy staunch sagacity still tracks the future, Puff. Figurative! "Sir Walt. Thy fears are just. Sir Christ. But where? whence? when? and what The danger is,―methinks I fain would learn. Sir Walt. You know, my friend, scarce two revolving suns, Sir Christ. Sir Walt. Sir Christ. With hostile hand hath struck at England's trade. Philip, you know, is proud Iberia's king! His subjects in base bigotry Sir Christ. Sir Christ. Sir Walt. You know, beside, his boasted armament, Our last advices so report. While the Iberian admiral's chief hope, Is sailed, Ferolo Whiskerandos hight- Is now Confined 'tis true, and oft from yon tall turret's top Dang. Mr. Puff, as he knows all this, why does Sir Walter go on telling him? Puff. But the audience are not supposed to know anything of the matter, are they? Sneer. True; but I think you manage ill for there certainly appears no reason why Sir Walter should be so communicative. Puff. 'Fore Gad, now, that is one of the most ungrateful observations I ever heard !-for the less inducement he has to tell all this, the more, I think, you ought to be obliged to him; for I am sure you'd know nothing of the matter without it. Dang. That's very true, upon my word. Puff. But you will find he was not going on. "Sir Christ. Enough, enough-'tis plain-and I no more Am in amazement lost !" Puff. Here, now you see, Sir Christopher did not in fact ask any one question for his own information. Sneer. No, indeed: his has been a most disinterested curiosity! Dang. Really, I find, we are very much obliged to them. both. Puff. To be sure you are. Now then for the commander-inchief, the Earl of Leicester, who, you know, was no favourite but of the queen's.-We left off-in amazement lost! Am in amazement lost. But, see where noble Leicester comes! supreme And yet, methinks, At such a time, so perilous, so fear'd, That staff might well become an abler grasp. And so, by Heaven! think I; but soft, he's here !" Puff. Ay, they envy him! Sneer. But who are these with him? Puff. Oh! very valiant knights: one is the governor of the fort, the other the master of the horse. And now, I think, you shall hear some better language: I was obliged to be plain and intelligible in the first scene, because there was so much matter of fact in it; but now, i'faith, you have trope, figure, and metaphor, as plenty as noun-substantives. "Enter EARL of Leicester, GOVERNOR, MASTER OF THE HORSE, KNIGHTS, &c. Leic How's this, my friends! is't thus your new-fledged zeal And plumèd valour moulds in roosted sloth? Why dimly glimmers that heroic flame, Whose reddening blaze, by patriot spirit fed, No! rather let the fountain of your valour Puff. There it is-followed up! 'Sir Walt. No more !-the freshening breath of thy rebuke There spoke old England's genius! Leic. Then, are we all resolved? Puff. O yes!-where they do agree on the stage, their unanimity is wonderful! Sneer. What the plague, is he going to pray? Puff. Yes; hush-in great emergencies, there is nothing like a prayer. "Leic. . . O mighty Mars !" Dang. But why should he pray to Mars? "All. ... [Kneels. [Kneels. [Kneels. [Kneels. [Kneels." Puff. Now pray altogether. Behold thy votaries submissive beg, That thou wilt deign to grant them all they ask; To gain them!" Sneer. A very orthodox quintetto ! Puff. Vastly well, gentlemen!—Is that well managed or not? Have you such a prayer as that on the stage? Sneer. Not exactly. Leic. [To PUFF.] But, sir, you haven't settled how we are to get off here. Puff. You could not go off kneeling, could you? Sir Walt. [To PUFF.] O no, sir; impossible! Puff. It would have a good effect, i'faith, if you could exeunt praying!-Yes, and would vary the established mode of springing off with a glance at the pit. Sneer. Oh, never mind, so as you get them off!--I'll answer for it, the audience won't care how. Puff. Well, then, repeat the last line standing, and go off the old way. "All. And sanctify whatever means we use To gain them. Dang. Bravo! a fine exit. Puff. Stay a moment! [Exeunt.' Sneer. Well, really, Mr. Puff Dang. Hey!-why, I thought those fellows had been asleep? Puff. Only a pretence; there's the art of it: they were spies of Lord Burleigh's. Sneer. But isn't it odd they never were taken notice of, not even by the commander-in-chief? |