Puff. O lud, sir! if people, who want to listen or overhear, were not always connived at in a tragedy, there would be no carrying on any plot in the world. Dang. That's certain ! Puff. But take care, my dear Dangle! the morning-gun is going to fire. Dang. Well, that will have a fine effect! [Cannon fires. Puff. I think so, and helps to realize the scene.-[Cannon twice.] What the plague! three morning guns! there never is but one!-Ay, this is always the way at the theatre: give these fellows a good thing, and they never know when to have done with it. You have no more cannon to fire ? - Und. Promp. [Within.] No, sir. Puff. Now, then, for soft music. Puff. It shows that Tilburina is coming;-nothing introduces you a heroine like soft music. Here she comes ! Dang. And her confidant, I suppose? Puff. To be sure! minuet in Ariadne ! Here they are-inconsolable to the [Soft music "Enter TILBURINA and CONFIDANT. And, blushing, kiss the beam he sends to wake them- Now, too, the feather'd warblers tune their notes The lark! The linnet! chaffinch bullfinch! goldfinch! greenfinch! But O, to me no joy can they afford ! Nor rose, nor wallflower, nor smart gillyflower, Nor polyanthus mean, nor dapper daisy, Nor William sweet, nor marjoram-1 -nor lark, Linnet, nor all the finches of the grove!" Puff. Your white handkerchief, madam Tilb. I thought, sir, I wasn't to use that till heart-rending woe. Puff. O yes, madam, at the finches of the grove, if you please. "Tilb. Nor lark, Linnet, nor all the finches of the grove! [Weeps." Puff. Vastly well, madam ! Dang. Vastly well, indeed! "Tilb... For, O, too sure, heart-rending woe is now The lot of wretched Tilburina !" Dang. Oh!-'tis too much! Sneer. Oh!-it is indeed! Tilb. Be comforted, sweet lady; for who knows, But Heaven has yet some milk-white day in store? Alas! my gentle Nora, Thy tender youth as yet hath never mourn'd Love's fatal dart. Else wouldst thou know, that when It cannot taste of merriment." Dang. That's certain ! It is not meet that he should find you thus." Puff. Hey, what the plague !-what a cut is here! Why, what is become of the description of her first meeting with Don Whiskerandos-his gallant behaviour in the sea-fightand the simile of the canary-bird? Tilb. Indeed, sir, you'll find they will not be missed. Tilb. [To CONFIDANT.] The cue, ma'am, if you please. Gov. Tilb. • How's this!-in tears ?-O Tilburina, shame! Puff. Now, pray, gentlemen, mind. This is one of the most useful figures we tragedy writers have, by which a hero or heroine, in consideration of their being often obliged to overlook things that are on the stage, is allowed to hear and see a number of things that are not. Sneer. Yes; a kind of poetical second-sight! "Tilb. I see their decks Are clear'd!-I see the signal made! And now, I hear the thunder of the guns! I hear the victors' shouts-I also hear The vanquish'd groan !-and now 'tis smoke-and now I see I see what soon you'll see Hold, daughter! peace! this love hath turn'd thy brain : The Spanish fleet thou canst not see-because -It is not yet in sight!" Dang. Egad, though, the governor seems to make no allov ance for this poetical figure you talk of. Puff. No, a plain matter-of-fact man ;-that's his character. "Tilb. Gov. Tilb. Gov. Tilb. But will you then refuse his offer? I must-I will-I can-I ought-I do. Think what a noble price. No more you urge in vain. His liberty is all he asks." Sneer. All who asks, Mr. Puff? Who is Puff. Egad, sir, I can't tell! Here has been such cutting and slashing, I don't know where they have got to myself. Tilb. Indeed, sir, you will find it will connect very well. "And your reward secure.' Puff. Oh, if they hadn't been so devilish free with their cutting here, you would have found that Don Whiskerandos has been tampering for his liberty, and has persuaded Tilburina to make this proposal to her father. And now, pray observe the conciseness with which the argument is conducted. Egad, the pro and con goes as smart as hits in a fencing-match. It is indeed a sort of small-sword logic, which we have borrowed from the French. A thousand pounds! Ha! thou hast touch'd me nearly!" e-she threw in Tilburina. Puff. There you seeQuick, parry quarte with England! Ha! thrust in tierce a title !-parried by honour. Ha! a pension over the arm !-put by by conscience. Then flankonade with a thousand pounds—and a palpable hit, egad! Canst thou Reject the suppliant, and the daughter too? No more; I would not hear thee plead in vain : Is fix'd! [Exit." Dang. Ay, that antithesis of persons is a most established 'Tis well,-hence then, fond hopes,-fond passion hence; [Without.] Where is my love-my Ha! Puff. O dear, ma'am, you must start a great deal more than that! Consider, you had just determined in favour of dutywhen, in a moment, the sound of his voice revives your passion -overthrows your resolution-destroys your obedience. If you don't express all that in your start, you do nothing at all. Tilb. Well, we'll try again. Dang. Speaking from within has always a fine effect. "Whisk.. My conquering Tilburina! How! is't thus Tilb. We meet? why are thy looks averse? what means Ha! now indeed I am a prisoner ! Yes, now I feel the galling weight of these Thy doating captive gloried in before. But thou art false, and Whiskerandos is undone ! O no! how little dost thou know thy Tilburina! Whisk. Art thou then true?-Begone cares, doubts, and fears, I make you all a present to the winds; And if the winds reject you-try the waves." Puff. The wind, you know, is the established receiver of all stolen sighs, and cast-off griefs and apprehensions. Yet must we part !-stern duty seals our doom: Though here I call yon conscious clouds to witness, All friends, all right of parents, I'd disclaim, And thou, my Whiskerandos, shouldst be father And friend to me! Whisk. Oh, matchless excellence! and must we part? Well, if-we must-we must-and in that case Puff. Heyday! here's a cut !-What, are all the mutual pro testations out? Tilb. Now, pray, sir, don't interrupt us just here: you ruin our feelings. Puff. Your feelings !-but zounds, my feelings, ma'am ! Tilb... Ay, for ever! [Going." Puff. 'Sdeath and fury!-Gad's life!-sir! madam! if you go out without the parting look, you might as well dance out. Here, here! Con. But pray, sir, how am I to get off here? Puff. You! pshaw ! what the devil signifies how you get off! edge away at the top, or where you will-Pushes the CONFIDANT off] Now, ma'am, you see— Tilb. We understand you, sir. "Ay, for ever. Both. Oh! [Turning back, and exeunt.-Scene closes." Dang. Oh, charming! : Puff. Hey!-'tis pretty well, I believe you see I don't attempt to strike out anything new-but I take it I improve on the established modes. Sneer. You do indeed! But pray is not Queen Elizabeth to appear? Puff. No, not once-but she is to be talked of for ever; so that, egad, you'll think a hundred times that she is on the point of coming in. Sncer. Hang it, I think it's a pity to keep her in the green. room all the night. Puff. O no, that always has a fine effect-it keeps up expec tation. Dang. But are we not to have a battle? Puff. Yes, yes, you will have a battle at last: but, egad, it's not to be by land, but by sea-and that is the only quite new thing in the piece. Dang. What, Drake at the Armada, hey? Puff. Yes, i'faith-fire-ships and all; then we shall end with the procession. Hey, that will do, I think? Sneer. No doubt on't. Puff. Come, we must not lose time; so now for the underplot. Sneer. What the plague, have you another plot? Puff. O Lord, yes; ever while you live have two plots to your tragedy. The grand point in managing them is only to |