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Miss Hoyd. Thank ye, ma'am.
Ber. And I doubt not will soon distinguish herself in the beau-monde.
Miss Hoyd. Where is that?
Love. Sir! I was not addressing myself to you, sir !-Pray who is this gentleman ? He seems rather in a singular predicament
Col. Town. For so well-dressed a person, a little oddly circumstanced, indeed.
Sir Tun. Ha! ha! ha!-So, these are your friends and your guests, ha, my adventurer ?
Lord Fop. I am struck dumb with their impudence, and cannot positively say whether I shall ever speak again or not.
Sir Tun. Why, sir, this modest gentleman wanted to pass himself upen me as Lord Foppington, and carry off my daughter.
Love. A likely plot to succeed, truly, ha ! ha!
Lord Fop. As Gad shall judge me, Loveless, I did not expect this from thee. Come, pr’ythee confess the joke; tell Sir Tunbelly that I am the real Lord Foppington, who yesterday made love to thy wife ; was honoured by her with a slap on the face, and afterwards pinked through the body by thee.
Sir Tun. A likely story, truly, that a peer would behave thus.
Love. A pretty fellow, indeed, that would scandalize the character he wants to assume; but what will you do with him, Sir Tunbelly?
Sir Tun. Commit him, certainly, unless the bride and bridegroom choose to pardon him.
Lord Fop. Bride and bridegroom! For Gad's sake, Sir Tunbelly, 'tis tarture to me to hear you call 'em so.
Miss Hoyd. Why, you ugly thing, what would you have him call us-dog and cat ?
Lord Fop. By no means, miss; for that sounds ten times more like man and wife than t'other. Sir Tun. A precious rogue this to come a-wooing!
Re-enter SERVANT. Ser. There are some gentlefolks below to wait upon Lord Foppington.
(Exit Col. Town. 'Sdeath, Tom, what will you do now?
[Aside to Tom FASHION, Lord Fop. Now, Sir Tunbelly, here are witnesses who I bom lieve are not corrupted.
Şir Tun. Peace, fellow !-Would your lordship choose to have your guests shown here, or shall they wait till we come to'em?
Fash. I believe, Sir Tunbelly, we had better not have these visitors here yet.—[Aside.] Egad, all must out. Love. Confess, confess; we'll stand by you.
[Aside to Tom FASHION. Lord Fop. Nay, Sir Tunbelly, I insist on your calling evidence on both sides and if I do not prove that fellow an impostor
Fash. Brother, I will save you the trouble, by now confessing that I am not what I have passed myself for.--Sir Tunbelly, I am a gentleman, and I flatter myself a man of character ; but 'tis with great pride I assure you I am not Lord Foppington.
Sir Tun. Ouns !—what's this ?-an inpostor 2-a cheat ?fire and faggots, sir, if you are not Lord Foppington, who the devil are you?
Fash. Sir, the best of my condition is, I am your son-in-law; and the worst of it is, I am brother to that noble peer.
Lord Fop. Impudent to the last, Gad dem me!
Fash. Pardon me, sir ; thanks to the goodness of your chaplain, and the kind offices of this gentlewoman.
Lory. "Tis true, indeed, sir ; I gave your daughter away, and Mrs. Nurse, here, was clerk.
Sir Tun. Knock that rascal down !But speak, Jezebel, how's this?
Nurse. Alas ! your honour, forgive me; I have been overreached in this business as well as you. Your worship knows, if the wedding-dinner had been ready, you would have given her away with your own hands.
Sir Tun. But how durst you do this without acquainting me?
Nurse. Alas ! if your worship had seen how the poor thing begged and prayed, and clung and twined about me like ivy round an old wall, you would say, I who had nursed it, and reared it, must have had a heart like stone to refuse it.
Sir Tun. Ouns! I shall go mad! Unloose my lord there, you scoundrels !
Lord Fop. Why, when these gentlemen are at leisure, I should be glad to congratulate you on your son-in-law, with a little more freedom of address.
Miss Hoyd. Egad, though, I don't see which is to be my husband after all.
Love. Come, come, Sir Tunbelly, a man of your understanding must perceive that an affair of this kind is not to be mended by anger and reproaches.
Col. Town. Take my word for it, Sir Tunbelly, you are only tricked into a son-in-law you may be proud of: my friend Tom Fashion is as honest a fellow as ever breathed.
Love. That he is, depend on't ; and will hunt or drink with you most affectionately: be generous, old boy, and forgive them
Sir Tun. Never ! the hussy !-when I had set my heart on getting her a title.
Lord Fop. Now, Sir Tunbelly, that I am untrussed-give me leave to thank thee for the very extraordinary reception I have met with in thy damned, execrable mansion; and at the same time to assure you, that of all the bumpkins and blockheads I have had the misfortune to meet with, thou art the most obstinate and egregious, strike me ugly! Sir Tun. What's this? I believe you are both rogues
alike. Lord Fop. No, Sir Tunbelly, thou wilt find to thy unspeakable mortification, that I am the real Lord Foppington, who was to have disgraced myself by an alliance with a clod; and that thou hast matched thy girl to a beggarly younger brother of mine, whose title-deeds might be contained in thy tobaccobox. Sir Tun. Puppy! puppy !-I might prevent their being beg
-! gars, if I chose it; for I could give 'em as good a rent roll as your lordship.
Lord Fop. Ay, old fellow, but you will not do that,for that would be acting like a Christian, and thou art a barbarian, stap
Sir Tun. Udzookers ! now six such words more, and I'll forgive them directly.
Love. 'Slife, Sir Tunbelly, you should do it, and bless your self-Ladies, what say you ?
Aman. Good Sir Tunbelly, you must consent.
Sir Tun. Well then, if I must, I must; but turn-turn that sneering lord out, however, and let me be revenged on somebody. But first look whether I am a barbarian or not; there, children, I join your hands; and when I'm in a better humour, I'll give you my blessing
Love. Nobly done, Sir Tunbelly ! and we shall see you dance at a grandson's christening yet.
Miss Hoyd. By goles, though, I don't understand this ! What! an't I to be a lady after all? only plain Mrs. What's my husband's name, nurse?
Nurse. Squire Fashion.
Lord Fop. [Aside.] Now I will put on a philosophic air, and show these people, that it is not possible to put a man of my quality out of countenance.—[Aloud.] Dear Tam, since things are fallen out, prythee give me leave to wish thee joy ; I do it de bon cæur, strike me dumb! You have married into a family of great politeness and uncommon elegance of manners, and your bride appears to be a lady beautiful in person, modest in her deportment, refined in her sentiments, and of nice morality, split my windpipe !
Miss Hoyd. By goles, husband, break his bones, if he calls me names !
Fash. Your lordship may keep up your spirits with your grimace, if you please ; I shall support mine, by Sir Tunbelly's favour, with this lady and three thousand pounds a year.
Lord Fop. Well, adieu, Tam !-Ladies, I kiss your hands.Sir Tunbelly, I shall now quit this thy den; but while I retain the use of my arms, I shall ever remember thou art a demned horrid savage ; Ged demn me li
Exit. Sir Tun. By the mass, 'tis well he's gone—for I should ha' been provoked, by-and-by, to ha' dun un a mischief. Well, if this is a lord, I think Hoyden has luck o' her side, in troth.
Col. Town. She has indeed, Sir Tunbelly.-But I hear the fiddles; his lordship, I know, had provided 'em.
Love. Oh, a dance and a bottle, Sir Tunbelly, by all means !
Sir Tun. I had forgot the company below; well-what-we must be merry then, ha? and dance and drink, ha ? Well, 'fore George, you shan't say I do these things by halves. Sonin-law there looks like a hearty rogue, so we'll have a night on't: and which of these ladies will be the old man's partner, ha ?—Ecod, I don't know how I came to be in so good a humour.
Ber. Well, Sir Tunbelly, my friend and I both will endeavour to keep you so : you have done a generous action, and are entitled to our attention. If
should be at a loss to divert your new guests, we will assist you to relate to them the plot of your daughter's marriage, and his lordship's deserved mortification; a subject which perhaps may afford no bad evening's entertainment.
Sir Tun. Ecod, with all my heart; though I am a main bungler at a long story.
Ber. Never fear; we will assist you, if the tale is judged worth being repeated; but of this you may be assured, that while the intention is evidently to please, British auditors will ever be indulgent to the errors of the performance.
ADVERTISEMENT. As the two translations which have been published of Kotzebue's “ Spaniards in Peru” have, I understand, been very generally read, the public are in possession of all the materials necessary to form a judgment on the merits and defects of the Play performed at Drury Lane Theatre,
DEDICATION. To her, whose approbation of this Drama, and whose peculiar delight in the applause it has received from the public, have been to me the highest gratification derived from its success- I dedicate this Play.
RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN,
AS ORIGINALLY ACTED AT DRURY LANE THEATRE IN 1799.
Mr. Powell. OLD BLIND MAN Mr. Cory.
Mr. Holland. Mr. Archer, ATTENDANT Mr. Maddocks. Mr. C. Kemble. CORA
WRITTEN BY RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN,
SPOKEN BY MR. KING.
CHILL'D by rude gales, while yet reluctant May