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'Thus each day I grew more pensive, and he more insolent, till at last the monster had the assurance to offer me to a young baronet of his acquaintance.'PAGE 332.

CHAPTER XX

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baggage, which he at first seemed to decline; but upon her pressing the request, he was obliged to inform her, that a stick and a wallet were all the moveable things upon this earth that he could boast of. Why, ay my 'son,' cried I, 'you left me but poor, and poor I find you are come back; and yet I make no doubt you 'have seen a great deal of the world.'- 'Yes, Sir,' replied my son, but travelling after fortune is not the way to secure her; and indeed, of late I have desisted from the pursuit.'-'I fancy, Sir,' cried Mrs. Arnold,

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that the account of your adventures would be amusing: the first part of them I have often heard from my niece; but could the company prevail for the rest, it 'would be an additional obligation.'' Madam,' replied my son, I promise you the pleasure you have in hearing, will not be half so great as my vanity in ' repeating them; and yet in the whole narrative I can scarce promise you one adventure, as my account is rather of what I saw than what I did. The first mis'fortune of my life, which you all know, was great; but ' though it distressed, it could not sink me. No person 'ever had a better knack at hoping than I. The less 'kind I found fortune at one time, the more I expected from her another, and being now at the bottom of her 'wheel, every new revolution might lift, but could not 'depress me. I proceeded, therefore, towards London ‘in a fine morning, no way uneasy about to-morrow, but chearful as the birds that carolled by the road, and comforted myself with reflecting, that London was the 'mart where abilities of every kind were sure of meeting 6 distinction and reward.

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Upon my arrival in town, Sir, my first care was to ' deliver your letter of recommendation to our cousin, who was himself in little better circumstances than I. My first scheme, you know, Sir, was to be usher at an academy, and I asked his advice on the affair. Our cousin received the proposal with a true Sardonic grin. Ay, cried he, this is indeed a very pretty career, that has been chalked out for you. I have been an usher at a boarding school myself; and may I die by an anodyne 'necklace, but I had rather be an under-turnkey in 'Newgate. I was up early and late: I was browbeat ' by the master, hated for my ugly face by the mistress, ' worried by the boys within, and never permitted to stir out to meet civility abroad. But are you sure you are

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fit for a school? Let me examine you a little. Have 'you been bred apprentice to the business? No. Then you won't do for a school. Can you dress the boys' 'hair? No. Then you won't do for a school. Have Then you won't do for

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you had the small-pox? No.

a school. Can you lie three in a bed? No. Then you 'will never do for a school. Have you got a good stomach? Yes. Then you will by no means do for a school. No, Sir, if you are for a genteel, easy pro'fession, bind yourself seven years as an apprentice 'to turn a cutler's wheel; but avoid a school by any means. Yet come, continued he, I see you are a lad ' of spirit and some learning, what do you think of com'mencing author, like me? You have read in books, 'no doubt, of men of genius starving at the trade: At 'present I'll shew you forty very dull fellows about town ' that live by it in opulence. All honest jogg-trot men, 'who go on smoothly and dully, and write history and 'politics, and are praised men, Sir, who, had they been 'bred cobblers, would all their lives have only mended 'shoes, but never made them.

'Finding that there was no great degree of gentility 'affixed to the character of an usher, I resolved to accept 'his proposal; and having the highest respect for literature, hailed the antiqua Mater of Grub-street with reverence. I thought it my glory to pursue a track 'which Dryden and Otway trod before me. I considered the goddess of this region as the parent of excellence ; ' and however an intercourse with the world might give 'us good sense, the poverty she granted I supposed to be the nurse of genius! Big with these reflections, I sate down, and finding that the best things remained to be 'said on the wrong side, I resolved to write a book that 'should be wholly new. I therefore drest up some paradoxes with ingenuity. They were false, indeed,

but they were new. The jewels of truth have been so often imported by others, that nothing was left for me 'to import but some splendid things that, at a distance, 'looked every bit as well. Witness, you powers, what 'fancied importance sate perched upon my quill while 'I was writing. The whole learned world, I made no 'doubt, would rise to oppose my systems; but then I was prepared to oppose the whole learned world. 'Like the porcupine I sate self-collected, with a quill 'pointed against every opposer.'

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'Well said, my boy,' cried I, and what subject did 'you treat upon? I hope you did not pass over the importance of monogamy. But I interrupt, go on; you published your paradoxes; well, and what did the 'learned world say to your paradoxes?'

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Sir,' replied my son, the learned world said nothing to my paradoxes; nothing at all, Sir. Every man of them was employed in praising his friends and himself, 'or condemning his enemies; and unfortunately, as I 'had neither, I suffered the cruellest mortification, ' neglect.

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'As I was meditating one day in a coffee-house on the 'fate of my paradoxes, a little man happening to enter 'the room, placed himself in the box before me, and after some preliminary discourse, finding me to be a scholar, ' drew out a bundle of proposals, begging me to subscribe to a new edition he was going to give to the world of 'Propertius, with notes. This demand necessarily pro'duced a reply that I had no money; and that concession 'led him to inquire into the nature of my expectations. Finding that my expectations were just as great as my 'purse, I see, cried he, you are unacquainted with the town, I'll teach you a part of it. Look at these proposals; upon these very proposals I have subsisted

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' nobleman returns from his travels, a Creolian arrives from Jamaica, or dowager from her country seat, 'I strike for a subscription. I first besiege their hearts 'with flattery, and then pour in my proposals at the breach. If they subscribe readily the first time, I renew my request to beg a dedication fee. If they let me have that, I smite them once more for engraving their 'coat of arms at the top. Thus, continued he, I live by But between ourselves, I am

vanity, and laugh at it. now too well known. I should be glad to borrow your 'face a bit a nobleman of distinction has just returned from Italy; my face is familiar to his porter; but if 'you bring this copy of verses, my life for it you succeed, ' and we divide the spoil.'

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'Bless us, George,' cried I, and is this the employ'ment of poets now! Do men of their exalted talents thus stoop to beggary? Can they so far disgrace their calling, as to make a vile traffic of praise for bread ? '

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‘O no, Sir,' returned he, 'a true poet can never be so 'base; for wherever there is genius there is pride. The creatures I now describe are only beggars in rhyme. 'The real poet, as he braves every hardship for fame, so he is equally a coward to contempt, and none but those 'who are unworthy protection condescend to solicit it. Having a mind too proud to stoop to such indig'nities, and yet a fortune too humble to hazard a second attempt for fame, I was now obliged to take a middle course, and write for bread. But I was unqualified for a profession where mere industry alone was to ensure success. I could not suppress my lurking passion for 'applause; but usually consumed that time in efforts ' after excellence which takes up but little room, when 'it should have been more advantageously employed in 'the diffusive productions of fruitful mediocrity. My 'little piece would therefore come forth in the midst of