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Miss Hardcastle. I'm afraid you flatter, sir. must be some who, wanting a relish for refined You, that have seen so much of the finest compa- pleasures, pretend to despise what they are incany, can find little entertainment in an obscure cor- pable of tasting. ner of the country.

Marlow. My meaning, madam, but infinitely Marlow (gathering courage). I have lived, in-better expressed. I can't help observingdeed, in the world, madam; but I have kept very Miss Hardcastle (aside). Who could ever suplittle

company. I have been but an observer upon pose this fellow impudent upon such occasions! life, madam, while others were enjoying it. [To him.] You were going to observe, sir

Miss Neville. But that, I am told, is the way to Marlow. I was observing, madam-1 protest, enjoy it at last.

madam, I forget what I was going to observe. Hastings [to him). Cicero never spoke better. Miss Hardcastle (aside). I vow and so do I. Once more, and you are confirmed in assurance [To him.) You were observing, sir, that in this for ever.

age of hypocrisy-something about hypocrisy, sir. Marlow [to him). Hem! stand by me then, and Marlow. Yes, madain. In this age of hypowhen I'm down, throw in a word or two to set me crisy there are few who upon strict inquiry do not up again. Miss Hardcastle. An observer, like you, upon

Miss Hardcastle. I understand you perfectly, life were, I fear, disagreeably employed, since you sir. must have had much more to censure than to ap- Marlow (aside). Egad! and that's more than I prove.

do myself. Marlou. Pardon me, madam. I was always Miss Hardcastle. You mean that in this hypowilling to be amused. The folly of most people is critical age there are few that do not condemn in rather an object of mirth than uneasiness. public what they practise in private, and think

Hastings [to him). Bravo, bravo. Never spoke they pay every debt to virtue when they praise it. $0 well in your whole life. Well, Miss Hardcas- Marlou. True, madam; those who have most tle, I see that you and Mr. Marlow are going to virtue in their mouths, have least of it in their bobe very good company. I believe our being here soms. But I'm sure I tire you, madam. will but embarrass the interview.

Miss Hardcastle. Not in the least, sir; there's Marlow. Not in the least, Mr. Hastings. We something so agreeable and spirited in your manlike your company of all things. (To him.] Zounds! ner, such life and force-pray, sir, go on. George, sure you won't go? how can you leave Murlow. Yes, madam. I was saying. Us?

that there are some occasions—when a total want Hastings. Our presence will but spoil conversa- of courage, madam, destroys all the—and puts tion, so we'll retire to the next room. (To him.] us- -upon a-a-aYou don't consider, man, that we are to manage a

Miss Hardcastle. I agree with you entirely; a little tête-à-lète of our own.

(Exeunt. want of courage upon some occasions assumes the Miss Hardcastle (after a pause). But you have appearance of ignorance, and betrays us when we not been wholly an observer, I presume, sir: the most want to excel. I beg you'll proceed. ladies, I should hope, have employed some part of

Marloo. Yes, madam. Morally speaking, mayour addresses.

dam—But I see Miss Neville expecting us in the Marlowo (relapsing into timidity). Pardon me, next room. I would not intrude for the world. madam, 1-1-1-as yet have studied-only-o Miss Hardcastle. I protest, sir, I never was deserve them.

mure agreeably entertained in all my life. Pray Miss Hardcastle. And that, some say, is the go on. very worst way to obtain them.

Marlow. Yes, madam, I was- -But she Marlor. Perhaps so, madam. But I love to beckons us to join her. Madam, shall I do myconverse only with the more grave and sensible self the honour to attend you? part of the sex.-But I'm afraid I grow tiresome. Miss Hardcastle. Well then, I'll follow.

Miss Hardcastle. Not at all, sir; there is nothing Marlow (aside]. This pretty smooth dialogue I like so much as grave conversation myself; I has done for me.

(Exit. could hear it for ever. Indeed I have often been Miss Hardcastle [alone). Ha! ha! ha! Was surprised how a man of sentiment could ever ad- there ever such a sober, sentimental interview? mire those light airy pleasures, where nothing I'm certain he scarce looked in my face the whole reaches the heart.

time, Yet the fellow, but for his unaccountable Marlow. It's- - a disease- of the mind, ma- bashfulness, is pretty well too. He has good dam. In the variety of tastes there must be some sense, but then so buried in his fears, that it fawho, wanting a relish-for-um-a-um. tigues one more than ignorance. If I could teach

Miss Hardcastle. I understand you, sir. There him a little confidence it would be doing somebody

answer.

that I know of a piece of service. But who is that Hastings. You are right, madam; for, as somebody? That, faith, is a question I can scarce among the ladies there are none ugly, so among

(Erit. the men there are none old.

Mrs. Hardcastle. But what do you think his Enter TONY and MISS NEVILLE, followed by MRS.

answer was? Why, with his usual Gothic vivaHARDCASTLE and HASTINGS.

city, he said I only wanted him to throw off his Tony. What do you follow me for, Cousin Con? wig to convert it into a tête for my own wearing. I wonder you're not ashamed to be so very engag. Hastings. Intolerable! At your age you may ing.

wear what you please, and it must become you. Miss Neville. I hope, cousin, one may speak to Mrs. Hardcastle. Pray, Mr. Hastings, what one's own relations, and not be to blame.

do you take to be the most fashionable age about Tony. Ay, but I know what sort of a relation town? you want to make me though; but it won't do. 1 Hastings. Some time ago, forty was all the tell you, Cousin Con, it won't do; so I beg you'll mode; but I'm told the ladies intend to bring up keep your distance, I want no nearer relationship. fifty for the ensuing winter. [She follows, coquetting him to the back scene. Mrs. Hardcastle. Seriously. Then I shall be Mrs. Hardcastle. Well! I vow, Mr. Hastings, too young for the fashion. you are very entertaining. There is nothing in Hastings. No lady begins now to put on jewels the world I love to talk of so much as London, and till she's past forty. For instance, miss there, in the fashions, though I was never there myself. a polite circle, would be considered as a child, as a

Hastings. Never there! You amaze me! From mere maker of samplers. your air and manner, I concluded you had been Mrs. Hardcastle. And yet Mrs. Niece thinks bred all your life either at Ranelagh, St. James's, herself as much a woman, and is as fond of jewels or Tower Wharf.

as the oldest of us all. Mrs. Hardcastle. O! sir, you're only pleased to Hastings. Your niece, is she? And that say so. We country persons can have no manner young gentleman, a brother of yours, I should at all. I'm in love with the town, and that serves presume? to raise me above some of our neighbouring rustics; Mrs. Hardcastle. My son, sir. They are conbut who can have a manner, that has never seen tracted to each other. Observe their little sports. the Pantheon, the Grotto Gardens, the Boroughi, They fall in and out ten times a day, as if they and such places where the nobility chiefly resort ? were man and wife already. (To them.) Well, All I can do is to enjoy London at second-hand. Tony, child, what soft things are you saying to I take care to know every tête-à-tête from the your cousin Constance this evening? Scandalous Magazine, and have all the fashions, Tony. I have been saying no soft things; but as they come out, in a letter from the two Miss that it's very hard to be followed about so. Ecod! Rickets of Crooked-Lane. Pray how do you like I've not a place in the house now that's left to mythis head, Mr. Hastings ?

self, but the stable. Hastings. Extremely elegant and dégagée, Mrs. Hardcastle. Never mind him, Con, my upon my word, madam. Your friseur is a French- dear, he's in another story behind your back. man, I suppose?

Miss Neville. There's something generous in Mrs. Hardcastle. I protest, I dressed it myself my cousin's manner. He falls out before faces to from a print in the Ladies' Memorandum-book be forgiven in private. for the last year.

Tony. That's a damned confounded-crack. Hastings. Indeed! Such a head in a side-box Mrs. Hardcastle. Ah! he's a sly one. Don't at the play-house would draw as many gazers as you think they're like each other about the mouth, my Lady Mayoress at a city ball.

Mr. Hastings? The Blenkinsop mouth to a T. Mrs. Hardcastle. I vow, since inoculation began, They're of a size too. Back to back, my pretties, there is no such thing to be seen as a plain wo- that Mr. Hastings may see you. Come, Tony. man; so one must dress a little particular, or one Tony. You had as good not make me, I tell may escape in the crowd.

you.

(Measuring. Hastings. But that can never be your case, Miss Nerille. O lud! he has almost cracked my madam, in any dress.

(Bowing. head. Mrs. Hardcastle. Yet, what signifies my dress- Mrs. Hardcastle. O, the monster! For shame, ing when I have such a piece of antiquity by my Tony. You a man, and behave so! side as Mr. Hardcastle: all I can say will never Tony. If I'm a man, let me have my fortin. argue down a single button from his clothes. I Ecod, I'll not be made a fool of no longer. have often wanted him to throw off his great Mrs. Hardcastle. Is this, ungrateful boy, all flaxen wig, and where he was bald, to plaster it that I'm to get for the pains I have taken in over, like my Lord Pately, with powder. your education? I that have rocked you in yous cradle, and fed that pretty mouth with a spoon! Hastings. To me she appears sensible and Did not I work that waistcoat to make you gen- silent. teel? Did not I prescribe for you every day, and Tony. Ay, before company. But when she's weep while the receipt was operating ?

with her playmate, she's as loud as a hog in a Tony. Ecod! you had reason to weep, for you gate. have been dosing me ever since I was born. I Hastings. But there is a meek modesty about have gone through every receipt in the Complete her that charms me. Housewife ten times over; and you have thoughts Tony. Yes, but curb her never so little, she of coursing me through Quincey next spring. kicks up, and you're flung in the ditch. But, ecod! I tell you, I'll not be made a fool of no Hastings. Well, but you must allow her a little longer.

beauty.-Yes, you must allow her some beauty. Mrs. Hardcastle. Wasn't it all for your good, Tony. Band-box! She's all a made-up thing, viper ? Wasn't it all for your good ?

mum. Ah! could you but see Bet Bouncer of Tony. I wish you'd let me and my good alone, these parts, you migit then talk of beauty. Fcod, then. Snubbing this way when I'm in spirits. If she has two eyes as black as sloes, and cheeks as I'm to have any good, let it come of itself; not to broad and red as a pulpit cushion. She'd make keep dinging it, dinging it into one so.

two of she. Mrs. Hardcastle. That's false; I never see you Hastings. Well, what say you to a friend that when you're in spirits. No, Tony, you then go would take this bitter bargain off your hands? to the alehouse or kennel. I'm never to be de Tony. Anan? lighted with your agreeable wild notes, unfeeling Hastings. Would you thank him that would monster!

take Miss Neville, and leave you to happiness and Tony. Ecod! mamma, your own notes are the your dear Betsy? wildest of the two.

Tony. Ay; but where is there such a friend, Mrs. Hardcastle. Was ever the like? but I see for who would take her? he wants to break my heart; I see he does. Hastings. I am he. If you but assist me, I'll

Hastings. Dear madam, permit me to lecture engage to whip her off to France, and you shall the young gentleman a little. I'm certain I can never hear more of her. persuade him to his duty.

Tony. Assist you! Ecod I will, to the last drop Mrs. Hardcastle. Well, I must retire. Come of my blood. I'll clap a pair of horses to your Constance, my love. You see, Mr. Hastings, the chaise that shall trundle you off in a twinkling, wretchedness of my situation: was ever poor wo- and may-be get you a part of her fortin besides in man so plagued with a dear, sweet, pretty, provok- jewels that you little dream of. ing, undutiful boy?

Hastings. My dear 'Squire, this looks like a (Exeurt Mrs. Hardcastle and Miss Neville.

lad of spirit.

Tony. Come along, then, and you shall see HASTINGS, TONY.

more of my spirit before you are done with me. Tony (singing]. “ There was a young man

[Singing riding by, and fain would have his will. Rang We

e are the boys do didlo dee." -Don't mind her. Let her That fears no noise cry. It's the comfort of her heart. I have seen Where the thundering cannons roar her and sister cry over a book for an hour together;

(Eseunt. and they said they liked the book the better the more it made them cry.

Hustings. Then you're no friend to the ladies,
I find, my pretty young gentleman?
Tony. That's as I find 'um.

ACT III.
Hastings. Not to her of your mother's choosing,
I dare answer? And yet she appears to me a

Enter HARDCASTLE, alone. pretty well-tempered girl.

Hardcastle. What could my old friend Sir Tony. That's because you don't know her so Charles mean by recommending his son as the well as I. Ecod! I know every inch about her; modestest young man in town? To me he apand there's not a more bitter cantackerous toad in pears the most impudent piece of brass that ever all Christendom.

spoke with a tongue. Ho has taken possession of Hastings [aside). Pretty encouragement this the easy chair by the fire-side already. He took for a lover!

off his boots in the parlour, and desired me to see Tony. I have seen her since the height of that. them taken care of. I'm desirous to know how She has as many tricks as a hare in a thicket, or a his impudence affects my daughter.—She will colt the first day's breaking.

certainly be shocked at it.

at making punch. Yes, Kate, he asked your faEnter MISS HARDCASTLE, plainly dressed.

ther if he was a maker of punch! Hardcastle. Well, my Kate, I see you have Miss Hardcastle. One of us must certainly be changed your dress, as I bid you; and yet, I be- mistaken. lieve, there was no great occasion.

Hardcastle. If he be what he has shown himMiss Hardcastle. I find such a pleasure, sir, in self, I'm determined he shall never have my conobeying your commands, that I take care to ob- sent. serve them without ever debating their propriety. Miss Hardcastle. And if he be the sullen thing

Hardcastle. And yet, Kate, I sometimes give I take him, he shall never have mine. you some cause, particularly when I recommended Hardcastle. In one thing then we are agreed my modest gentleman to you as a lover to-day. to reject him.

Miss Hardcastle. You taught me to expect Miss Hardcastle. Yes: but upon conditions. something extraordinary, and I find the original For if you should find him less impudent, and I exceeds the description.

more presuming: if you find him more respectful, Hardcastle. I was never so surprised in my and I more importunate—I don't know—the fellow life! He has quite confounded all my faculties! is well enough for a man-Certainly we don't meet

Miss Hardcastle. I never saw any thing like it: many such at a horse-race in the country. and a man of the world too!

Hardcastle. If we should find him so- -But Hardcastle. Ay, he learned it all abroad—what that's impossible. The first appearance has done a fool was I, to think a young man could learn mo- my business. I'm seldom deceived in that. desty by travelling. He might as soon learn wit Miss Hardcastle. And yet there may be many at a masquerade.

good qualities under that first appearance. Miss Hardcastle. It seems all natural to him. Hardcastle. Ay, when a girl finds a fellow's

Hardcastle. A good deal assisted by bad com- outside to her taste, she then sets about guessing pany and a French dancing-master.

the rest of his furniture. With her, a smooth face Miss Hardcastle. Sure you mistake, papa! A stands for good sense, and a genteel figure for French dancing-master could never have taught every virtue. him that timid look—that awkward address that Miss Hardcastle. I hope, sir, a conversation bebashful manner

gun with a compliment to my good sense, won't Hardcastle. Whose look ? whose manner, child ? end with a sncer at my understanding?

Miss Hardcastle. Mr. Marlow's: his mauvaise Hardcastle. Pardon me, Kate. But if young honte, his timidity, struck me at the first sight. Mr. Brazen can find the art of reconciling contra

Hardcastle. Then your first sight deceived you; dictions, he may please us both, perhaps. for I think him one of the most brazen first sights Miss Hardcastle. And as one of us must be misthat ever astonished my senses.

taken, what if we go to make further discoveries? Miss Hardcastle. Sure, sir, you rally! I never Hardcastle. Agreed. But depend on't l'm in saw any one so modest.

the right. Hardcastle. And can you be serious ? I never Miss Hardcastle. And depend on't I'm not saw such a bouncing, swaggering puppy since I much in the wrong.

(Ereunt. was born. Bully Dawson was but a fool to him. Miss Hardcastle. Surprising! He met me with

Enter TONY, running in with a caskel. a respectful bow, a stammering voice, and a look

Tony. Ecod! I have got them. Here they are. fixed on the ground. Hardcastle. He met me with a loud voice, a mother shan't cheat the poor souls out of their for

My cousin Con's necklaces, bobs and all. My lordly air, and a familiarity that made my blood

tin neither. O! my genus, is that you? freeze again.

Miss Hardcastle. He treated me with diffidence and respect; censured the manners of the age; admired the prudence of girls that never laughed; Hastings. My dear friend, how Have you man. tired me with apologies for being tiresome; then aged with your mother ? I hope you have amused left the room with a bow, and “Madam, I would her with pretending love for your cousin, and that not for the world detain you."

you are willing to be reconciled at last? Our horses Hardcastle. He spoke to me as if he knew me will be refreshed in a short time, and we shall soon all his life before; asked twenty questions, and be ready to set off. never waited for an answer: interrupted my best Tony. And here's something to bear your remarks with some silly pun; and when I was in charges by the way [giving the casket)- your my best story of the Duke of Marlborough and sweetheart's jewels. Keep them; and hang those, Prince Eugene, he asked if I had not a good hand I say, that would rob you of one of them.

Enter HASTINGS.

Hastings. But how have you procured them for them? Tell her they're lost. It's the only way from your mother?

to quiet her. Say they're lost, and call me to bear Tony. Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no witness. fibs. I procured them by the rule of thumb. lfl Mrs. Hardcastle (apart to Tony). You know, had not a key to every drawer in mother's bureau, my dear, l'm only keeping them for you. So if I how could I go to the alehouse so often as I do? say they're gone, you'll bear me witness, will you ? An honest man may rob himself of his own at any He! he! he! time.

Tony. Never fear me, Ecod! I'll say I saw Hastings. Thousands do it every day. But to them taken out with my own eyes. be plain with you, Miss Neville is endeavouring to Miss Neville. I desire them but for a day, procure them from her aunt this very instant. If madam. Just to be permitted to show them as she succeeds, it will be the most delicate way at relics, and then they may be locked up again. least of obtaining them.

Mrs. Hardcastle. To be plain with you, my dear Tony. Well, keep them, till you know how it Constance, if I could find them you should have will be. But I know how it will be well enough, them. They're missing, I assure you. Lost, for she'd as soon part with the only sound tooth in her aught I know; but we must have patience, wherever head.

they are. Hastings. But I dread the effects of her resent- Miss Neville. I'll not believe it! this is but a ment when she finds she has lost them.

shallow pretence to deny me. I know they are Tony. Never you mind her resentment, leave too valuable to be so slightly kept, and as you are me to manage that. · I don't value her resentment to answer for the lossthe bounce of a cracker. Zounds! here they are. Mrs. Hardcastle. Don't be alarmed, Constance. Morrice! Prance !

[Etil Hastings. If they be lost, I must restore an equivalent. But

my son knows they are missing, and not to be TONY, MRS. HARDCASTLE, and MISS NEVILLE. found.

Tony. That I can bear witness to. They are Mrs. Hardcastle. Indeed, Constance, you amaze missing, and not to be found ; l'll take my oath me. Such a girl as you want jewels ! It will be on't. time enough for jewels, my dear, twenty years Mrs. Hardcastle. You must learn resignation, hence, when your beauty begins to want repairs. my dear; for though we lose our fortune, yet we

Miss Neville. But what will repair beauty at should not lose our patience. See me, how calm forty, will certainly improve it at twenty, madam. I am.

Mrs. Hardcastle. Yours, my dear, can admit of Miss Neville. Ay, people are generally calm at none, That natural blush is beyond a thousand the misfortunes of others. ornaments. Besides, child, jewels are quite out at Mrs. Hardcastle. Now I wonder a girl of your present. Don't you see half the ladies of our ac- good sense should waste a thought upon such quaintance, my Lady Kill-daylight, and Mrs. trumpery. We shall soon find them; and in the Crump, and the rest of them, carry their jewels to mean time you shall make use of my garnets till town, and bring nothing but paste and marcasites your jewels be found. back.

Miss Neville. I detest garnets. Miss Neville. But who knows, madam, but Mrs. Hardcastle. The most becoming things in somebody who shall be nameless would like me the world to set off a clear complexion. You have best with all my little finery about me ?

often seen how well they look upon me : you shall Mrs. Hardcastle. Consult your glass, my dear, have them.

(Exit. and then see if with sach a pair of eyes you want Miss Neville. I dislike them of all things. You any better sparklers. What do you think, Tony, shan't stir.—Was ever any thing so provoking, to my dear? does your cousin Cor want any jewels mislay my own jewels, and force me to wear her in your eyes, to set off her beauty?

trumpery. Tony. That's as thereafter may be.

Tony. Don't be a fool. If she gives you the Miss Neville. My dear aunt, if you knew how garnets, take what you can get. The jewels are it would oblige me.

your own already. I have stolen them out of her Mrs. Hardcastle. A parcel of old-fashioned rose bureau, and she does not know it. Fly to your and table cut things. They would make you look spark, he'll tell you more of the matter. Leave me like the court of King Solomon at a puppet-show. to manage her. Besides, I believe, I can't readily come at them. Miss Neville. My dear cousin ! They may be missing, for aught I know to the Tony. Vanish. She's here and has missed contrary.

them already. (Exit Miss Neville.) Zounds! Tony (apart to Mrs. Hardcastle). Then, why how she fidgets and spils about like a catherino don't you tell her so at once, as she's so longing wheel.

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