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THE LOGICIANS REFUTED.
IN IMITATION OF DEAN SWIFT.
LOGICIANS bave but ill defined
As rational the human mind;
Reason, they say, belongs to man,
Is both a weak and erring creature:
That instinct is a surer guide
Deus est anima brutorum.
Who ever knew an honest brute At law his neighbour prosecute; Bring action for assault and battery, Or friend beguile with lies and flattery? O'er plains they ramble unconfined, No politics disturb their mind; They eat their meals, and take their sport, Nor know who's in or out at court; They never to the levee go To treat as dearest friend a foe; They never importune his grace, Nor ever cringe to men in place; Nor undertake a dirty job, Nor draw the quill to write for Bob ; Fraught with invective they ne'er go To folks at Paternoster Row: No judges, fiddlers, dancing masters, No pickpockets, or poetasters,
Are known to honest quadrupeds ;
Aping the conduct of superiors :
He in his turn finds imitators :
At court, the porters, lackeys, waiters, Their masters' manners still contract, And footmen lords and dukes can act: Thus at the court, both great and small Behave alike for all
A NEW SIMILE.
IN THE MANNER OF SWIFT.
Long had I sought in vain to find
Imprimis, pray observe his hat, Wings upon either side—mark that. Well! what is it from thence we gather? Why these denote a brain of feather. A brain of feather! very right, With wit that's flighty, learning light; Such as to modern bards decreed; A just comparison-proceed.
In the next place, his feet peruse, Wings grow again from both his shoes ; Design’d, no doubt, their part to bear, And waft his godship through the air ; And here my simile unites; For, in a modern poet's flights, l'am sure it may be justly said, His feet are useful as his head.
Lastly, vouchsafe to’ observe his hand, Fill'd with a snake encircled wand : By classic authors term’d caduceus, And highly famed for several uses : To wit-most wondrously endued, No poppy water half so good;