Our dean2 shall be venison, just fresh from the plains,
Our Burke3 shall be tongue, with the garnish of brains,
Our Will shall be wild fowl, of excellent flavour,
And Dick 5 with his pepper shall heighten the savour:
Our Cumberland's sweetbread its place shall obtain,
And Douglas is pudding substantial and plain:
Our Garrick's a sallad; for in him we see

Oil, vinegar, sugar, and saltness agree:

To make out the dinner full certain I am,

That Ridge is anchovy, and Reynolds 10 is lamb:

2 Dr. Bernard, dean of Derry in Ireland.

3 Edmund Burke.

4 Mr. William Burke, late secretary to General Conway, and member for Bedwin.

5 Mr. Richard Burke, collector of Grenada.

6 Richard Cumberland, author of the West Indian, Fashionable Lover, The Brothers, and other dramatic pieces.

7 Dr. Douglas, canon of Windsor (late bishop of Salisbury), an ingenious Scotch gentleman, who has no less distinguished himself as a citizen of the world, than a sound critic, in detecting several literary mistakes (or rather forgeries) of his countrymen; particularly Lander on Milton, and Bower's History of the Popes.

8 David Garrick.

9 Counsellor John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish bar. 10 Sir Joshua Reynolds.

That Hickey's11 a capon, and, by the same rule,
Magnanimous Goldsmith a gooseberry fool.

At a dinner so various, at such a repast,
Who'd not be a glutton, and stick to the last?
Here, waiter, more wine, let me sit while I'm able,
Till all my companions sink under the table;
Then, with chaos and blunders encircling my head,
Let me ponder, and tell what I think of the dead.
Here lies the good dean, reunited to earth,

Who mix'd reason with pleasure, and wisdom with

mirth:

• If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt,

At least, in six weeks I could not find them out;
Yet some have declared, and it can't be denied them,
That sly-boots was cursedly cunning to hide them.

Here lies our good Edmund, whose genius was such,
We scarcely can praise it, or blame it too much;
Who, born for the universe, narrow'd his mind,
And to party gave up what was meant for mankind:

An eminent attorney,

Tho' fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat

12

To persuade Tommy Townshend 12 to lend him a vote; Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining,

And thought of convincing, while they thought of dining;

Though equal to all things, for all things unfit;
Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit;
For a patriot too cool; for a drudge disobedient;
And too fond of the right to pursue the expedient.
In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd, or in place, sir,
To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor.

Here lies honest William, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't; The pupil of impulse, it forced him along,

His conduct still right, with his argument wrong;
Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam,

The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove home;
Would you ask for his merits? alas! he had none;
What was good was spontaneous, his faults were his

own.

12 Mr. T. Townshend, member for Whitchurch.

Here lies honest Richard 13 whose fate I must sigh at ;

Alas! that such frolic should now be so quiet!

What spirits were his! what wit and what whim!

Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb!

Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the ball! Now teasing and vexing, yet laughing at all!

In short, so provoking a devil was Dick,

That we wish'd him full ten times a day at Old Nick ;
But, missing his mirth and agreeable vein,
As often we wish'd to have Dick back again.

Here Cumberland lies, having acted his parts,
The Terence of England, the mender of hearts;
A flattering painter, who made it his care

To draw men as they ought to be, not as they are.
His gallants are all faultless, his women divine,
And comedy wonders at being so fine:

Like a tragedy queen he has dizen'd her out,
Or rather like tragedy giving a rout.

13 Mr. Richard Burke. This gentleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs, at different times, the Doctor has rallied him on those accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking his jests upon other people.

His fools have their follies so lost in a crowd

Of virtues and feelings that folly grows proud;
And coxcombs, alike in their failings alone,
Adopting his portraits, are pleased with their own.
Say, where has our poet this malady caught?

Or wherefore his characters thus without fault?
Say, was it that vainly directing his view

To find out men's virtues, and finding them few,
Quite sick of pursuing each troublesome elf,
He grew lazy at last, and drew from himself.

Here Douglas retires from his toils to relax,
The scourge of impostors, the terror of quacks:
Come, all ye quack bards, and ye quacking divines,
Come, and dance on the spot where your tyrant reclines:
When satire and censure encircled his throne,

I fear'd for your safety, I fear'd for my own;
But now he is gone, and we want a detector,

Our Dodds 14 shall be pious, our Kenricks1 shall lecture;

14 The unfortunate Dr. Dodd.

15 Dr. Kenrick, who read lectures at the Devil Tavern, under the title of "The School of Shakspeare."