LETTER VII.

FROM MESSRS. L-CK-GT-N AND CO.

PER Post, Sir, we send your MS.-look'd it throughVery sorry-but can't undertake-'twouldn't do. Clever work, Sir!-would get up prodigiously wellIts only defect is-it never would sell!

And though Statesmen may glory in being unbought, In an Author, we think, Sir, that's rather a fault.

Hard times, Sir,-most books are too dear to be readThough the gold of Good-sense and Wit's small-change are fled,

Yet the paper we publishers pass, in their stead, Rises higher each day, and ('tis frightful to think it) Not even such names as F-TzG-R-D's can sink it! However, Sir-if you're for trying again,

And at somewhat that's vendible-we are your men.

* From motives of delicacy, and, indeed, of fellow-feeling, I suppress the name of the Author, whose rejected manuscript was inclosed in this letter.-See the Appendix,

Since the Chevalier C-RR took to marrying lately, The Trade is in want of a Traveller greatly— No job, Sir, more easy-your Country once plann'd, A month aboard ship and a fortnight on land Puts your Quarto of Travels clean out of hand.

An East-India pamphlet's a thing that would tell-
And a lick at the Papists is sure to sell well.
Or-supposing you have nothing original in you-
Write Parodies, Sir, and such fame it will win you,
You'll get to the Blue-stocking Routs of ALB-N-A!*
(Mind-not to her dinners-a second-hand Muse
Mustn't think of aspiring to mess with the Blues.)
Or-in case nothing else in this world you can do—
The deuce is in't, Sir, if you cannot review!

Should you feel any touch of poetical glow,

We've a scheme to suggest-Mr. Sc―TT, you must know (Who, we're sorry to say it, now works for the Row†),

* This alludes, I believe, to a curious correspondence, which is said to have passed lately between ALB-N-A, Countess of B-CK-GH-MS-E, and a certain ingenious Parodist.

+ Paternoster Row.

Having quitted the Borders to seek new renown,
Is coming, by long Quarto stages, to Town;
And beginning with ROKEBY (the job's sure to pay)
Means to do all the Gentlemen's Seats on the way.
Now, the Scheme is (though none of our hackneys can
beat him)

To start a fresh Poet through Highgate to meet him ; Who, by means of quick proofs--no revises-long coaches

May do a few Villas before Sc-TT approaches-
Indeed if our Pegasus be not curst shabby,

He'll reach, without found'ring, at least WOBURN-ABBEY.

Such, Sir, is our plan-if you're up to the freak,
'Tis a match! and we'll put you in training, next week-
At present, no more-in reply to this Letter, a
Line will oblige very much

Temple of the Muses.

Your's, et cetera.

COME to our Fête,* and bring with thee

Thy newest, best embroidery!

Come to our Fête, and show again

That pea-green coat, thou pink of men !
Which charm'd all eyes that last survey'd it,

When B--L's self inquired "who made it?”-
When Cits came wond'ring from the East,
And thought thee Poet PYE, at least!

Oh! come-(if haply 'tis thy week
For looking pale)—with paly cheek;
Though more we love thy roseate days,
When the rich rouge-pot pours its blaze
Full o'er thy face, and, amply spread,
Tips even thy whisker-tops with red—
Like the last tints of dying Day

That o'er some darkling grove delay!

*This Letter inclosed a Card for the Grand Fête on the 5th of February.

Bring thy best lace, thou gay Philander!
(That lace, like H-RRY AL-X—ND—R,
Too precious to be wash'd)-thy rings,
Thy seals-in short, thy prettiest things!
Put all thy wardrobe's glories on,
And yield, in frogs and fringe, to none
But the great R-G-T's self alone!
Who, by particular desire-

For that night only, means to hire
A dress from ROMEO C-TES, Esquire-
Something between ('twere sin to hack it)
The Romeo robe and Hobby jacket!
Hail, first of Actors!* best of R-G-TS!
Born for each other's fond allegiance!

* Quem tu, Melpomene, semel

Nascentem placido lumine, videris, etc.-Horat.

The Man, upon whom thou hast deign'd to look funny,
Thou great Tragic Muse! at the hour of his birth-
Let them say what they will, that's the man for my money,
Give others thy tears, but let me have thy mirth !

The assertion that follows, however, is not verified in the instance before us.

Illum.

-non equus impiger

Curru ducet Achaico.