gravel at the window, there's no knowing but you might see Alice. Knick. That's an uncommon clever girl; but, Alice, I'm determined to turn over a new leaf with Dame Van Winkle; the next time I see her, I'll pluck up courage and say to her Dame. [without, R. U. E.] Alice! Alice! odds bodikins and pins, but I'll give it you when I catch you. [The VILLAGERS exit R. and L. Knick. Run, Alice, run! [ALICE, LORRENNA and KNICKERBOCKER run to R. Dame. [without, R.] Alice! [ALICE, LORRENNA and KNICKERBOCKER exit hastily, L. Rory. Egad! the dame's tongue is a perfect Rip. Rip, Rip, wass is dis for a business? You are a mix nootze, unt dat is a fact. Now, I started for de mountains dis mornin', determined to fill my bag with game, but I met Von Brunt, de oneeyed sergeant-comma see hah, unt brandy-wine hapben my neiber friend; well, I couldn't refuse to take a glass mit him, unt den I tooks anoder glass, unt den I took so much as a dozen, do I drink no more as a bottle; he drink no more as I -he got so topheavy, I rolled him in de hedge to sleep a leetle, for his one eye got so crooked, he never could have seed his way straight; den I goes to de mountain; do I see double, d- -d a bird could I shooted. But I stops now, I drinks no more; if anybody ask me to drink, I say to dem [VEDDER comes down R., and offers cup to him] here is your goot health, and your family's goot health, and may you all live long and prosper. [Drinks. Vedd. Why, neighbor Rip, where have you been all day? We feared some of the elfin goblins of the Catskills had caught you. Rip. Ha, ha! I never see no ghosts, though I've fought mit spirits in my time. Ha, ha! Vedd. And they always throw you, eh? Ha, ha! Rip. Dat's a fact! Ha, ha, ha! Vedd. But, Rip, where have you been? Rip. Oh, very hard at work-very busy; dere is nothing slipped fun my fingers as was come at abe. Rory. [down L.] They appear to have slipped through your game-bag, though, for its full of emptiness. Ha, ha, ha! Rip. Ho, ho, ho! cut no jokes at my bag, or I'll gib you de sack. Vedd. Come, Rip, sit down, take a pipe and a glass, and make yourself comfortable. Rip. Nine, nine-ech con neiched-it behoves a man to look after his interest unt not drink all de while; I shall den be able to manage Vedd. Your wife, Rip? Rip. Manage mine frow? Can you fly to de moon on a paper kite? can you drink all de beer and brandy-wine at one gulp? when you can do dat, mine goot im himmel, you can manage mine frow. [All laugh. Rory. Take one glass. Rip. Omnes. Ha, ha, ha! Rory. Here, Rip, here's a glass at your service, and as for the contents, I'll warrant it genuine and no mistake. [Gives RIP a cup. Rip. Rory, here is your goot health, and your family's goot health, unt may you all live long unt prosper. Rory. Come, Rip, give us a stave. Vedd. Yes, yes, Rip, a stave, for the old dame will be after you soon, and then we will all have to make a clearance. Rip. Oh, tunner wasser! won't my old woman skin me when I get home! Vedd, and Rory. Ha, ha, ha! come, the song, the song! Rip. Well, here is Rip Van Winkle's warning to all single fellows. SONG.-RIP. List, my friends, to caution's voice, It is the devil, mit shrews to splice, Chorus.-That nobody can deny, etc. I'm dd if she don't wear de breeches, Dat nobody can deny. Chorus.-That nobody can deny, etc. Yet dere is a charm about dem, Nor we can't do mitout 'em, [Pause. Chorus.-That nobody can deny, etc. Dame. [without, R. 1. E.] Rip, Rip! I'll stretch your ears when I get hold of them. Rip. Mine goot im himmel, dere is my frow. Dame. [without.] Rip! you lazy varmint! Rip! Rip. [gets under the table with bottle.] Look out, boys! de wildcat's coming. [Music. VEDDER, RORY and CLAUSIN at table. Enter DAME, with a stick, R. U. E. Dame. Where is this wicked husband of mine? Odds bodikins and pins! I heard his voice; you've hid him somewhere! you ought to be ashamed of yourselves to inveigle a husband from a tender, loving spouse; but I'm put upon by all, because they know the mildness of my temper. [They laugh.] Odds bodikins and curling irons, but some of you shall laugh the other sides of your mouths-I'll pull your pate for you. [Music. Chases them round table; they exit L. and R. DAME upsets table and discovers RIP. Dame. Oh, you Rip of all rips! what have you to say for yourself? Rip. Here is your goot health, unt your family's, unt may you all live long and prosper. Dame. [pulling him down the stage by the ear.] I'm cool-that is to say not very hot; but the mildest temper in the world would be in a passion at such treatment. Get home, you drunken monster, or I shan't be able to keep my hands off you-tell me, sir, what have you been about all day? Rip. Hard at work, my dumpsy dumpsy; de advocate in New York, and should he pursue the first thing I see dis morning was a fine fat rabbit. right path, there may be still hopes of his reforDame. A rabbit? Oh, I do like rabbits in a mation. stew; I like everything in a stew. Rip. I be d- -d fun dat is a fact. Dame. Well, well, the rabbit? Herman. [without, L.] My father, you say, is this way? Derr. What voice is that; my son? What can Rip. I was going to tell you-well, dere was de have recalled him thus suddenly? Some new rabbit feeding in de grass. Dame. Well, well, Rip? Rip. I puts my gun to my shoulder Dame. Yes Dame. How many down? Dame. Not more than one duck out of fifty? Rip. Yes, more as one duck—I shot one old bull. Dame. What? Rip. I'm d- -d fun dat is a fact! dat was one down, and my goot im himmel how he did roar and bellow unt lash his tail unt snort and sneeze unt sniff! Well, de bull puts right after me, unt I puts right away fun de bull; well, de bull comes up mit me just as I was climbing de fence, unt he catch me mit his horns fun de seat of my breeches, unt sent me flying more as a mile high. Well, by and bye directly I come down already in a big tree, unt dere I sticks fast, unt den Dame. You went fast asleep for the rest of the day. Rip. Dat's a fact. How you know dat? you must be a witch. Dame. [catching him by the collar.] Home, sir, home! you lazy scamp. Rip. But, mine lublicka frow Dame. Home! Rip. Nine! nine! Dame. Home! Rip. Mine goot im himmel. [Beating him. [Beating him. [Beats him. [Music. DAME beats him off R. 1. E. SCENE II. A Plain Chamber. Enter DERRIC VAN SLAUS, L. Derr. Should the present application fail, I am a ruined man; all my speculations will be frustrated, and my duplicity exposed; yes, the dissipation of my son must inevitably prove his ruin as well as mine. To supply his wants, the public money has been employed; and if unable to replace it, heaven knows what may be the consequence. But my son is now placed with an able misadventure. Oh, my forboding thoughts! Enter HERMAN, L. Herman, what brings you back? Are all my cautions thus lightly regarded, that they can take no hold upon your conduct? Herm. You have good cause for warmth, sir, but learn the reason of my disobedience, ere you condemn. Business of importance has urged me hither-such as concerns us both most intimately. Derr. Some fresh extravagance, no doubt, to drain my little left, and set a host of creditors loose upon me. List! you Herm. Not so, sir, but the reverse. know our neighbor, Rip Van Winkle? Derr. Know him? Aye, his idleness is proverbial; you have good cause to recollect him too, since 'twas by his courage your life was preserved, when attacked by the famished wolf. Herm. He has a daughter scarcely seven years old; now, the attorney whom I serve has been employed to draw up the will and settle the affairs of this girl's aunt, who, for some slight offered by Van Winkle, has long since discarded the family. At her death, the whole of her immense wealth, in cash and land, is the inheritance of the girl, who is, at this moment, the richest presumptive heiress in the land. Derr. What connection can Van Winkle's fortune have with ours? Herm. Listen! Were it possible to procure his signature to a contract that his daughter, when of age, should be married to me, on this security money might be raised by us to any amount. Now, my good father, am I comprehensible? Derr. Truly, this seems no visionary dream, like those in which, with fatal pertinacity, you have so oft indulged; and on recollection, the rent of his tenement is in arrears; 'twill offer favorable opportunity for my calling and sounding him; the contract must be your care. Herm. Tis already prepared and lacks only his signature. [Presenting it.] Lawyers who would do justice to their clients must not pause at conscience; 'tis entirely out of the question when their own interest is concerned. Derr. Herman, I like not this black-leg manner of proceeding; yet it augurs thou wilt be a pettifogger. I'll to Van Winkle straight, and though not legalized to act, yet in this case I can do work which honest lawyers would scorn. [Exit R. Herm. [solus.] True; the honest lawyer lives by his reputation, and therefore pauses to undertake a cause he knows unjust; but how easily are some duped. Can my father for a moment suppose that the rank weeds of youth are so easily uprooted? No! what is to be done, good father of mine, but to serve myself? Young men of the present generation cannot live without the means of entering into life's varieties and this supply will henceforth enable me to do so to the fullest extent of my ambitious wishes. [Exit L. dishes, Table, Broom Rip. Terrapin! Ah, dame, I leaves you to go the whole hog; but hark'ee, my lovey, before you go, won't you return de leetle bottle which you managed to get from me last night? SCENE III.-RIP's Cottage. Door, L. 2. E. crawler as that vagrum there, [is retiring on R.] Window in flat. A closet in flat, with that terrapin ! shelves, etc. Clothes-basket, with clothes. chairs, arm-chair, with cloak over it. on stage. KNICKERBOCKER enters cautiously, D. 2. E. L. Knick. Zooks! I'm venturing into a tiger's den in quest of a lamb. All's clear, however; and, could I but pop on little Alice, how we would bill│ and coo. She comes! lie still, my fluttering heart. Enter ALICE, R. Alice. [without observing KNICKERBOCKER.] There, there, go to sleep. Ah, Knickerbocker! how I love you, spite of all the strange ways that you pursue. Knick. [aside.] Sensible, susceptible soul! But merit ever meets its recompense. Alice. No wonder I am fascinated; his figure is so elegant, and then his education! I never see him but I am ready to jump into his loving arms. [Turning, she is caught in the embrace of KNICK ERBOCKER. Knick. This is too much for human nature to support; this declaration is a banquet that gods might prize. Beauteous angel! hear me, whilst I proclaim[Kneeling. Dame. [without.] Go along, you drunken brute! Knick. The devil! 'tis Dame Van Winkle! What's to become of me? Alice. If you're found here I'm ruined! you must conceal yourself-but where? Knick. That's the important question; oh, I'll hop into the cupboard. Alice. Not for the world! she is sure to want something out of it. Here, here, get into this clothes-basket, and let me cover you over with the foul linen. Knick. It's a very foul piece of business altogether; but I must stomach it whether I will or no. [Music. She puts him into the basket and covers him with linen. DAME enters, L. 2. E., dragging in RIP. Dame. And now, sir, I've got you home, what have you got to say for yourself, I should like to know? Rip. Nothing, my darling; de least said is soonest mended, and so you shall have all de talk to yourself. Now ain't dat liberal? Dame. Where's all the game you were to bring home? Rip. On de wing still; wouldn't venture to come mitin fire; for though dey missed mine gun, dere's one ting for certain, I never miss your blowing up. Dame. My blowing up! Odds bodikins and pins! I shall never be able to contain myself! Where's the money to pay the rent, you oaf? Rip. I don't know. Do you? Dame. You'll go to prison, and that'll be the end-on't. Rip. Come, no more quarreling to night. We'll see about the rent money to-morrow morning. Dame. To-morrow! it's always to-morrow with you; so, Alice, you are sitting and idling as usual, just like your brother; a precious pair of soft pates. Rip. Soft pate! pretty hard, I guess, or it would have been fractured long since, and dat's a fact. Dame. And now, Alice, come with me, that I may satisfy myself how you have disposed of the children, for in these matters you are just such a Dame. Odds bodikins and pins! A man already drunk, and asking for more liquor! you shan't have a drop, you sot, that you shall not. The bottle indeed! not you, eh faith! [Exit, with ALICE, R. Rip. Tunder take me if I don't think but what she has finished it herself, and dat's de fact. My nose always sniffs like a terrier's; 'tis in de cupboard, her Hollands;-so here goes to nibble. [Music. RIP opens the closet door cautiously, and is rummaging for a bottle, when he treads on KNICKERBOCKER, who roars out lustily. RIP, in his sudden alarm, upsets the porcelain and glass; and, falling, rolls into the middle of the chamber, quaking in every limb, and vociferating loudly.] Help! murder! fire! thieves! [KNICKERBOCKER, in the interim, darts out of the closet, and, beyond the consciousness of future proceeding, throws himself into the arm-chair-ALICE, entering hastily, throws a cloak over him, which hides him from observation. DAME enters, alarmed, R. Dame. Odds bodikins and pins! what's the matter now? Rip. [raising his head cautiously.] Matter, indeed! the devil's in the cupboard! Oh, la! I'll be swammed. Dame. In the cupboard! [Going there, sees china broken, squalling.] All my fine porcelain destroyed! monster! vile, rapacious monster! A devil, indeed, has been in the cupboard, and that's you. The china, presented to me by my grand relations, which I set such store on, smashed into a thousand pieces; 'tis too much for my weak nerves. I shall swoon! I shall faint! [She sinks in the arm-chair, but immediately starts up, and, squalling, falls into RIP's arms. KNICKERBOCKER regains the closet, unobserved by all save ALICE.] Heaven have mercy on us! there was somebody in the chair! somebody in the chair! Rip. Phoo! there's nothing in de chair, save your old cloak, [tossing it aside] dat's all. Dame. I'm so alarmed-so agitated, that Alice, put your hand into my pocket and you'll find a bottle. [ALICE produces a bottle. Rip. [aside.] A leetle bottle! Oh, dat's de private cupboard. Alice, let me hold de leetle bottle, whilst you fetch a glass for the old woman. [ALICE, hastening off, brings a wine-glass from R., which RIP fills and gives to DAME.] Here's your goot health, and your family's, and may you live long and prosper. [Drinks from the bottle; ALICE, in the interim, proceeds to the closet and brings KNICKERBOCKER out, who is making for the door, when, hearing some one approach, he again escapes to his retreat. Alice. [at door.] Oh, aunt! aunt! here's the burgomaster coming up the garden. Dame. Odds bodikins and pins! the burgomaster! what's to be done now? Coming for the rent! what's to be done now, I say? Rip. I'll go to bed and think. [Crosses to R. Dame. You shan't go to bed! you must make some fresh excuse; you're famous at them to me; you have got into the hobble and must get out of it as well as you can. I shall go and consult my friend, Dame Wrigrim; and Alice, should the peddler woman come, desire her not to leave any more of her rubbish here. [AS DAME retires, she meets DERRIC, to whom she courtesys. Derr. Good evening, Dame. Dame. Your honor's servant. [Exit DAME, D. F. Rip. [aside.] La! what a stew I'm in; Alice, take yourself off, 'tis full time; wish I was off, too, mit all my heart and soul. Alice. [aside.] Dear, dear! what will become of my poor Knickerbocker? [Exit R. Derr. Well, honest Rip, how wags the world with you? Rip. Bad enough, sir, for though laboring from morn to night, I can make no advance in de world, though my industry is proverbial, and dat's a fact. Derr. Why, where the bottle is concerned, few, I believe, can boast so much industry. Rip. Dat is a fact; but I suppose you have called concerning de rent. [Aside.] How my heart goes and comes! [Aloud.] Now, if your honor will be so good enough to Derr. To write the receipt? certainly. Rip. Nine, nine! [Aside.] I'm stewed alive mit perspiration. Derr. We'll talk of the rent at a future period! There is another affair on which I wish to consult you. Rip. Take a chair, your honor. [Aside, rubbing his hands together.] It's all right, by de hookey. [Aloud.] Take a glass mit me. [They take chairs. Derr. You know my only son, whose life you preserved ? Rip. Yes; and a wild, harum scarum dog he is. [Drinks. Rip. Rent free! I'll sign! But stop! my old woman must play old hob mit me-so put down dat I can break dat contract, if I choose, in twenty years and a day. [Noise.] Schat, you witch! Derr. [writing.] As you please. [Noise. Rip. Schat, you witch! [Drinks. Derr. Is that a cat, friend Rip? [Writing. Rip. I don't know if it is a cat-but if it is my dog Snider, I wouldn't be in his skin when de old woman comes back. Derr. There, friend Rip, I have inserted, at your request, this codicil: "Should the said Rip Van Winkle think fit to annul this contract within twenty years and a day, he shall be at full liberty to do so." Rip. Yah, yah! dos is recht-dat is goot. Now, Rip. Wass? Rip. Give me de paper. [Takes it.] How my head turns round. [Reading.] "Should the said Rip Van Winkle"-yah, yah! dat is me-" Rip Van Winkle-twenty years and a day." Oh, dat is all recht. [Writing.] R-i-p V-a-n-[noise] schat, you witch!-W-i-n-k-l-e-now, dere he is. Derr. And there is the counterpart. [Gives it. Rip. Dis is for me, eh? I'll put him in my breast pocket-yah, yah! Derr. Now, Rip, I must bid you good evening. Rip. Stop! Take some more liquor. Why, de bottle is empty. Here, Alice, Alice! get some more schnapps for de burgomaster. Derr. No, not to-night. [Rising.] But, should you want any, you will always find a bottle for you at your old friend Rory's; so, good night. Rip. Stop, Mr. Burgomaster! I will go and get dat bottle now. [Rising.] Alice, Alice! comma see hah! Enter ALICE, R. Derr. He is now stationed in New York, studying the law, and has become a staid, sober, prudent youth; and now, 'tis my wish that he should settle on this, his native place, and that he marry some honest girl, who is altogether unacquainted Alice, give me mine hat [ ALICE gives it.] with the frivolities of cities; and I have been Now take care of de house till I comes back; if thinking that in a few years your daughter will be de old woman comes before I gets home, tell her grown up, and would make a suitable match for I am gone out mit de burgomaster on par-parhim. True, there will be some disparity in their tick-particklar business. [Exit, L. D., with DERages, but as the years are on the side of the hus- RIC. ALICE advances and brings on KNICKERband, so 'twill be all the better for the wife, in BOCKER from the closet. having a matured preceptor. Rip. Beg pardon, sir; but it strikes me you are only carrying on your rigs mit me. Derr. No, on my honor; and, to convince you that I'm in earnest, I have brought with me a contract by which our offspring when of age are bound to intermarry, or forfeit their several fortunes. I shall settle all mine on Herman, and I shall expect you to do the same for your daughter. Rip. Yah, yah! ech woll; I'll give her all I got; all my money; but she must be d -d smart if she can find 'em. Take a drink, Mr. Burgomaster. [Drinks. Derr. Well, here are the two contracts, both binding and legally drawn. Rip. Yah, yah! [Drinks. DERRIC gives him the pen.] What you want me to do mit dis? Derr. Merely sign your name. Rip. Me, put my name to dat paper, mitout my old woman knowing-mine goot friend, she would skin me. [Noise in closet.] Schat, you witch! Derr. But I was about to propose, on condition of your signing the contract, to let you live rent free in future. Alice. So, Mr. Knickerbocker, you are still here? Knick. Yes; all that's left of me! and now that the coast is clear, I'll give them leg bail, as the lawyers have it, and if ever they catch me here again-[He goes towards the door, and returns in sudden alarm.] Oh, dear! oh, dear! here's mother Van Winkle coming back. I shall never get out of this mess. Alice. It's all your own fault! why would you come to-night? Knick. I shall never be able to come againthe cross vixen will take care of that if she catches me here. Alice. There is but one method of avoiding her wrath; slip on the clothes the old peddler woman brought for sale, and I'll warrant you'll soon be tumbled out of the house. Knick. With a good thrashing to boot, I suppose. No matter, if I can but slip out of the house, I don't care what I slip into. [KNICKERBOCKER sits in arm-chair and is attired by ALICE in woman's dress; on rising, the petticoats but reach his knees.] Confound the lower garments! they're too short by half. Alice. "Tis your legs are too long by half! stoop down, say as little as possible, and you'll not be discovered. [He again sits. DAME enters, D. F. Dame. Well, I've got back, and I see Mr. Van Slaus is gone; but where's that varlet, Rip? out again! Oh, that Rip! that Rip! I'll certainly be the death of him; or he will of me, which is most likely. Alice, who have you in the chair? Alice. The peddler woman, aunt, who has come for the things she left. Dame. The peddler woman-hark'ee, gossip; bring no more of your rubbish here. Take your Swaggrino. [without, L.] Rip Van Winkle! Rip Van Winkle! Rip. Rip Van Winkle! that's me to a certainty. [Music. SWAGGRINO, the grotesque dwarf, enters L., bending beneath the weight of a large cask which he bears on his shoulders. He pauses, examines RIP, then invites him to assist him in placing the cask on the ground, which RIP complies with. Hang me if he hasn't brought my heart up into my mouth; what an outlandish being; a seaing to the cask, entreats RIP's assistance in bearsnake, by dunder! [Music. SWAGGRINO, pointKnick. [aside.] 'Gad, I wish I was safely cleared ing it up the mountains.] Want me to help you up out of it. [KNICKERBOCKER rises, hobbles for What a queer old chap, to be sure; but I can't let mit it? Why not say so at first, my old codger? ward R.; but forgetting the shortness of the petti-him toil up the mountain with such a heavy load coats, in courtesying, is discovered by the DAME, from the exposure of his legs. as dat-no, no; and so, old broad chops, I'll help Dame. Odds bodikins and pins! who have we you. [Music. DWARF assists in placing cash on here? an impostor! But you shall pay for it; this A loud laugh is heard-RIP is is a peddler woman, indeed, with such lanky shanks. alarmed, but DWARF signs him to proceed and be [She rushes up to door and locks it; then, with a of good courage; leads way by rocks, R. Another broom, L. U. E., pursues him round; he flings peal of laughter, and RIP hastily follows him. bonnet in her face. self off, and let me have a clear house. Knick. Needs must when the devil drives-so here goes. [He jumps through the window, which is dashed to pieces; he disappears. DAME rushes up with broom towards window. ALICE laughs. Dame. What! laugh at his misconduct, hussy? One's just as bad as the other. All born to plague me. Get you to bed--to bed, I say. [DAME drives ALICE off, and follows, R. SCENE IV.-Half dark. A front wood. The report of a gun is heard; shortly after RIP enters with his fouling-piece, L. Rip. Whip-poor-will! egad, I think they'll whip poor Rip. [Takes aim at bird; it flashes in the pan.] Another miss! Oh, curse the misses and the missusses! hang me if I can get a single shot at the sky-flyers. Wish I had one of de German guns which Knickerbocker talks so much about one dat fires round corners; la! how I'd bring dem down! Were I to wing as many daily as would fill a dearborn, dame wouldn't be satisfied; not that she's avaricious-but den she must have something or somebody to snarl at, and I'm the unlucky dog at whom she always lets fly. Now, she got at me mit de broomstick so soon as I got back again; if I go home again, she will break my back. Tunner wasser! how sleepy I am-I can't go home, she will break my back-so I will sleep in de mountain to-night, and to-mor row I turn over a new leaf and drink no more liquor. Voice. [outside.] Rip Van Winkle! [A dead · pause ensues. Suddenly a noise like the rolling of cannon-balls is heard-then a discordant shout of laughter, L. RIP wakes, and sits up astonished. Rip. What the deuce is that? my wife at mine elbow? Oh, no, nothing of the kind; I must have been dreaming; so I'll contrive to nap, since I'm far enough from her din. [Reclines and sleeps. Voice. [outside.] 'Rip Van Winkle! [The laugh being repeated, RIP again wakes. Rip. I can't be mistaken dis time. Plague on't, I've got among the spirits of the mountains, metinks, and haven't a drop of spirits left to keep them off. RIP's shoulder. SCENE V.-Dark. The Sleepy Hollow, in the bosom Music. Grotesque Dutch figures, with enormous So, brothers, let's be jolly and gay. Gaud. Perhaps with some misfortune he's been doomed to meet, Icken. And what the punishment that you decree Is the fate that we ordain; Is the fate that we ordain. He comes! he comes! let silence reign! Let silence reign! let silence reign! The spirits retire up and station themselves in motionless attitudes. Music. SWAGGRINO ascends by the opening in the rear, followed by RIP, with the keg. RIP advances on the L.; and, with the assistance of his conductor, places the cask on the rock. The spirits remain immovable in front. Rip. I'm a dead man to a certainty. Into what strange company have I tumbled! Crikey, what will become of me? Dear, dear! would I were home again, even though along with Dame |