Puff. Come, we must not lose time; so now for the under-plot.

Sneer. What the plague, have you another plot?

Puff. O Lord, yes; ever while you live have two plots to your tragedy. The grand point in managing them is only to let your under-plot have as little connection with your main-plot as possible.-I flatter myself nothing can be more distinct than mine; for as in my chief plot the characters are all great people, I have laid my under-plot in low life, and as the former is to end in deep distress, I make the other end as happy as a farce.-Now, Mr. Hopkins, as soon as you please.

Enter UNDER PROMPTER.

Under Promp. Sir, the carpenter says it is impossible you can go to the park scene yet.

Puff. The park scene! no! I mean the description scene here, in the wood.

Under Promp. Sir, the performers have cut it out.
Puff. Cut it out!

Under Promp. Yes, sir.

Puff. What! the whole account of Queen Elizabeth? Under Promp. Yes, sir.

Puff. And the description of her horse and side-saddle? Under Promp. Yes, sir.

Puff. So, so; this is very fine indeed!-Mr. Hopkins, how the plague could you suffer this?

Mr. Hop. [Within.] Sir, indeed the pruning-knife

Puff. The pruning-knife-zounds!-the axe! Why, here has been such lopping and topping, I shan't have the bare trunk of my play left presently!-Very well, sir-the performers must do as they please; but, upon my soul, I'll print it every word.

Sneer. That I would, indeed.

Puff. Very well, sir; then we must go on.-Zounds! I would not have parted with the description of the horse !— Well, sir, go on.-Sir, it was one of the finest and most laboured things.-Very well, sir; let them go on.-There you had him and his accoutrements, from the bit to the crupper. Very well, sir; we must go to the park scene.

Under Promp. Sir, there is the point: the carpenters say, that unless there is some business put in here before

the drop, they sha'n't have time to clear away the fort, or sink Gravesend and the river...

Puff. So this is a pretty dilemma, truly !-Gentlemen, you must excuse me-these fellows will never be ready, unless I go and look after them myself.

Sneer. O dear, sir, these little things will happen. Puff. To cut out this scene!-but I'll print it-egad, I'll print it every word! [Exeunt.

ACT III.

SCENE I.-The Theatre, before the curtain.

Enter PUFF, SNEER, and Dangle.

Puff. Well, we are ready; now then for the justices.

[Curtain rises.

"JUSTICES, CONSTABLES, &c., discovered."

Sneer. This, I suppose, is a sort of senate scene.
Puff. To be sure; there has not been one yet.
Dang. It is the under-plot, isn't it?

Puff. Yes.-What, gentlemen, do you mean to go at once to the discovery scene?

Just. If you please, sir.

Puff. Oh, very well!-Hark'ee, I don't choose to say anything more; but, i'faith they have mangled my play in a most shocking manner.

Dang. It's a great pity!

Puff. Now, then, Mr. Justice, if you please.

Just. Const.

Just.

Const.

Just.

Const.

Are all the volunteers without?

They are.

Some ten in fetters, and some twenty drunk.
Attends the youth, whose most opprobrious fame
And clear convicted crimes have stamp'd him soldier?
He waits your pleasure; eager to repay

The best reprieve that sends him to the fields
Of glory, there to raise his branded hand
In honour's cause.

"Tis well-'tis justice arms him!

Oh! may he now defend his country's laws
With half the spirit he has broke them all!
If 'tis your worship's pleasure, bid him enter.
I fly, the herald of your will.

[Exit'

Puff. Quick, sir.

Sneer. But, Mr. Puff, I think not only the Justice, but the clown seems to talk in as high a style as the first hero among them.

Puff. Heaven forbid they should not in a free country! -Sir, I am not for making slavish distinctions, and giving all the fine language to the upper sort of people.

Dang. That's very noble in you, indeed.

"Enter JUSTICE'S LADY."

Puff. Now, pray mark this scene.

Lady

Just.

Son.

Just.
Son.

Forgive this interruption, good my love;
But as I just now pass'd a prisoner youth,

Whom rude hands hither lead, strange bodings seized
My fluttering heart, and to myself I said,
An' if our Tom had lived, he'd surely been
This stripling's height!

Ha! sure some powerful sympathy directs
Us both-

Enter CONSTABLE with SON.

What is thy name?

My name is Tom Jenkins-alias have I none-
Though orphan'd, and without a friend!

Puff. What, sir, do you leave out the account of your birth, parentage, and education?

Son They have settled it so, sir, here.
Puff. Oh! oh!

Puff. There, you see, relationship, like murder, will out.

66

Just.

Now let's revive else were this joy too much!
But come and we'll unfold the rest within;
And thou, my boy, must needs want rest and food.
Hence may each orphan hope, as chance directs,
To find a father-where he least expects!

Puff. What do you think of that?

[Exeunt."

Dang. One of the finest discovery-scenes I ever saw !Why, this under-plot would have made a tragedy itself. Sneer. Ay! or a comedy either.

Puff. And keeps quite clear you see of the other.

"Enter SCENEMEN, taking away the seats."

Puff. The scene remains, does it?

Sceneman. Yes, sir.

Puff. You are to leave one chair, you know.—But it is always awkward in a tragedy, to have your fellows coming in in your play-house liveries to remove things.—I wish that could be managed better. So now for my mysterious yeoman.

Beef.

"Enter BEEFEATER.

Perdition catch my soul, but I do love thee."

Sneer. Haven't I heard that line before?

Puff. No, I fancy not.-Where, pray?

Dang. Yes, I think there is something like it in Othello. Puff. Gad! now you put me in mind on't, I believe there is-but that's of no consequence; all that can be said is, that two people happened to hit upon the same thoughtand Shakspeare made use of it first, that's all.

Sneer. Very true.

Puff. Now, sir, your soliloquy-but speak more to the pit, if you please—the soliloquy always to the pit, that's a

Though hopeless love finds comfort in despair,
It never can endure a rival's bliss!
But soft-I am observed.

Dang. That's a very short soliloquy.

[Exit."

Puff. Yes-but it would have been a great deal longer if he had not been observed.

Sneer. A most sentimental Beefeater that, Mr. Puff!

Puff. Hark'ee—I would not have you be too sure that

he is a Beefeater.

Sneer. What, a hero in disguise?

Puff. No matter-I only give you a hint. But now for my principal character. Here he comes-Lord Burleigh in person! Pray, gentlemen, step this way-softly-I only hope the Lord High Treasurer is perfect-if he is but perfect!

"Enter LORD BURLEIGH, goes slowly to a chair, and sits." Sneer. Mr. Puff !

Puff. Hush!-Vastly well, sir! vastly well! a interesting gravity.

Dang. What, isn't he to speak at all?

Puff. Egad, I thought you'd ask me that!-Yes, it is a very likely thing-that a minister in his situation, with the whole affairs of the nation on his head, should have time to talk!—But hush! or you'll put him out.

Sneer. Put him out; how the plague can that be, if he's not going to say anything?

Puff. There's the reason! why, his part is to think; and how the plague do you imagine he can think if you keep talking?

Dang. That's very true, upon my word!

"Lord BurleiGH comes forward, shakes his head, and exit.” Sneer. He is very perfect indeed! Now, pray what did he mean by that?

Puff. You don't take it?

Sneer. No, I don't, upon my soul.

Puff. Why, by that shake of the head, he gave you to understand that even though they had more justice in their cause, and wisdom in their measures—yet, if there was not a greater spirit shown on the part of the people, the country would at last fall a sacrifice to the hostile ambition of the Spanish monarchy.

Sneer. The devil! did he mean all that by shaking his head?

Puff. Every word of it—if he shook his head as I taught

him.

Dang. Ah! there certainly is a vast deal to be done on the stage by dumb show and expressions of face; and a judicious author knows how much he may trust to it.