scrawl, and not a word spelt as it should be! ha! ha! ha!

Oak. Pooh! brother

Whatever it was, the letter,

you find, was for Charles, not for me this outrageous jealousy is the devil.

Maj. Mere matrimonial blessings and domestic comfort, brother! jealousy is a certain sign of love.

Oak. Love! it is this very love that hath made us both so miserable. Her love for me has confined me to my house, like a state prisoner, without the liberty of seeing my friends, or the use of pen, ink, and paper; while my love for her has made such a fool of me, that I have never had the spirit to contradict her.

Maj. Ay, ay, there you've hit it; Mrs. Oakly would make an excellent wife, if you did but know how to manage her.

Oak. You are a rare fellow, indeed, to talk of managing a wifeA debauched bachelora rattlebrained, rioting fellow--who have picked up your common-place notions of women in bagnios, taverns, and the camp; whose most refined commerce with the sex has been in order to delude country girls at your quarters, or to besiege the virtue of abigails, milliners, or mantua-makers' 'prentices.

Maj. So much the better!-so much the better! women are all alike in the main, brother, high or low, married or single, quality or no quality. I have found them so, from a duchess down to a milk-maid; every woman is a tyrant at the bottom. But they could never make a fool of me. No, no! no woman should ever domineer over me, let her be mistress or wife.

Oak. Single men can be no judges in these cases. They must happen in all families. But when things are driven to extremities-to see a woman in uneasiness

a woman one loves too-one's wife-who can withstand it? You neither speak nor think like a man that has loved, and been married, Major!

Maj. I wish I could hear a married man speak my language I'm a bachelor, it's true; but I am no bad judge of your case for all that. I know yours and Mrs. Oakly's disposition to a hair. She is all impetuosity and fire-A very magazine of touchwood and gunpowder. You are hot enough too, upon occasion, but then it's over in an instant. In comes love and conjugal affection, as you call it; that is, mere folly and weakness and you draw off your forces, just when you should pursue the attack, and follow your advantage. Have at her with spirit, and the day's your own, brother.

Oak. Why, what would you have me do?

Maj. Do as you please for one month, whether she likes it or not; and I'll answer for it she will consent you shall do as you please all her life after. In short, do but show yourself a man of spirit, leave off whining about love and tenderness, and nonsense, and the business is done, brother.

Oak. I believe you are in the right, Major! I see you are in the right. I'll do it-I'll certainly do it. -But then it hurts me to the soul, to think what uneasiness I shall give her. The first opening of my design will throw her into fits, and the pursuit of it, perhaps, may be fatal.

Maj. Fits! ha! ha! ha!—I'll engage to cure her of her fits. Nobody understands hysterical cases better than I do; besides, my sister's symptoms are not very dangerous. Did you ever hear of her falling into a fit when you was not by ?-Was she ever found in convulsions in her closet? -No, no, these fits, the more care you take of them, the more you will increase the distemper let them alone, and they will wear themselves out, I warrant you.

Oak. True, very true-you are certainly in the right. -I'll follow your advice. Where do you dine to-day? with you.

-I'll order the coach, and

go

Maj. O brave! keep up this spirit, and you are made for ever.

Oak. You shall see now, Major!-Who's there?

Enter a SERVANT.

Order the coach directly. I shall dine out to-day.
Serv. The coach, sir!- Now, sir?
Oak. Ay, now, immediately.

Serv. Now, sir!-the-the-coach, sir?-
-my mistress-

-that is

Maj. Sirrah! do as you are bid. Bid them put to

this instant.

Sero. Ye-yes, sir-yes, sir.

Oak. Well, where shall we dine?

[Exit.

Maj. At the St. Albans, or where you will. This is excellent, if you do but hold it.

Oak. I will have my own way, I am determined.
Maj. That's right.

Oak. I am steel.

Maj. Bravo!

Oak. Adamant.

Maj. Bravissimo!

Oak. Just what you'd have me.

Maj. Why that's well said. But, will you do it? Oak. I will.

Maj. You won't.

Oak. I will. I'll be a fool to her no longer. But, harkye, Major; my hat and cane lie in my study. I'll go and steal them out, while she is busy talking with Charles.

Maj. Steal them! for shame! Pr'ythee take them boldly; call for them, make them bring them to you here; and go out with spirit, in the face of your whole family.

Oak. No, no,-you are wrong-let her rave after I am gone, and when I return, you know, I shall exert

myself with more propriety, after this open affront to her authority.

Maj Well, take your own way.

Oak. Ay, ay-let me manage it, let me manage it. [Exit.

Maj. Manage it! ay, to be sure, you are a rare manager! It is dangerous, they say, to meddle between man and wife. I am no great favourite of Mrs. Oakly's already and in a week's time I expect to have the door shut in my teeth.

Enter CHARLES.

How now, Charles, what news?

Charles. Ruined and undone! She's gone, uncle! my Harriet's lost for ever.

Maj. Gone off with a man ?—I thought so: they are all alike.

Charles. Oh no! Fled to avoid that hateful match with Sir Harry Beagle.

Maj. 'Faith, a girl of spirit, but whence comes all this intelligence?

Charles. In an angry letter from her father-How miserable I am! If I had not offended my Harriet, much offended her, by that foolish riot and drinking at your house in the country, she would certainly, at such a time, have taken refuge in my arms.

Maj. A very agreeable refuge for a young lady to be sure, and extremely decent!

Charles. What a heap of extravagancies was I guilty of!

Maj. Extravagancies with a witness! Ah, you silly young dog, you would ruin yourself with her father, in spite of all I could do. There you sat, as drunk as a lord, telling the old gentleman the whole affair, and swearing you would drive Sir Harry Beagle out of the country, though I kept winking and nodding, pulling

you by the sleeve, and kicking your shins under the table, in hopes of stopping you; but all to no purpose. Charles. What distress may she be in at this instant! Alone and defenceless!- Where, where can she be? Maj. What relations or friends has she in town?

Charles. Relations! let me see.-'Faith, I have it! -If she is in town, ten to one but she is at her aunt's, Lady Freelove's. I'll go thither immediately.

Maj. Lady Freelove's! Hold, hold, Charles!--do you know her ladyship?

Charles. Not much; but I'll break through all, to get to my Harriet.

Maj. I do know her ladyship.

Charles. Well, and what do you know of her? Maj. O nothing!--Her ladyship is a woman of the world, that's all

Charles. What do you mean?

Maj. That Lady Freelove is an arrant--By the by, did not she, last summer, make formal proposals to Harriet's father from Lord Trinket?

Charles. Yes; but they were received with the utmost contempt. The old gentleman, it seems, hates a lord, and he told her so in plain terms.

Maj. Such an aversion to the nobility may not run in the blood. The girl, I warrant you, has no objection. However, if she's there, watch her narrowly, Charles. Lady Freelove is as mischievous as a monkey, and as cunning too. Have a care of her, I say have a care of her.

Charles. If she's there, I'll have her out of the house within this half hour, or set fire to it.

Maj. Nay, now you are too violent

-stay a mo

ment, and we'll consider what's best to be done.

Enter OAKLY.

Oak. Come, is the coach ready? let us begone. Does

Charles go with us?