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“ despair of you, and now any change must better “my condition; at least, it has reduced me to the “necessity of trying the last remedy, marriage with “ another; if it prove ineffectual, I only wish you “may at some hours remember how little cause I “ have given you to have made me for ever mise** rable. PHILIP.” “Poor gentleman I very hard, by my conscience 1 “Indeed, madam, this was carrying the jest a little ** too far. “Hyp. Ah, by many a long mile, Flora; but what “would you have a woman do when her hand’s in '' Flo. “Nay, the truth on it is, we never know the “difference between enough and a surfeit,” but love be praised, your proud stomach's come down for it. Hyp. Indeed, 'tis not altogether so high as it was. In a word, his last letter set me at my wit’s end, and when I came to myself, you may remember you thought me bewitched; for I immediately called for my boots and breeches, a straddle we got, and so rode after him. Flo. Why truly, madam, as to your wits, I have not much altered my opinion of them, for I cann’t see what you propose by it. Hyp. My whole design, Flora, lies in this portmanteau and these breeches. Flo. A notable design, no doubt; but pray let's hear it.
Hyp. Why, I do propose to be twice married between them. Flo. How I twice R Hyp. By the help of the portmanteau I intend to marry myself to Don Philip's new mistress, and then —I’ll put off my breeches, and marry him. Flo. Now I begin to take ye; but pray, what’s in the portmanteau, and how came you by it? Hyp. I hired one to steal it from his servant at the last inn we lay at in Toledo. In it are jewels of value, presents to my bride, good gold store, settlements, and credential letters, to certify that the bearer (which I intend to be myself) is Don Philip, only son and heir of Don Fernando de las Torres, now residing at Seville, whence we came. Flo. A very smart undertaking, by my troth l And pray, madam, what part am I to act Hyp. My woman still ; when I cann’t lie for myself, you are to do it for me in the person of a cousingerman. Flo. And my name is to be Hyp. Don Guzman, Diego, Mendez, or what you please : be your own godfather. Flo, 'Egad, I begin to like it mightily; this may prove a very pleasant adventure, if we can but come off without fighting, which, by the way, I don't easily perceive we shall; for, to be sure, Don Philip will make the devil to do with us when he finds himself here before he comes hither.
Hyp. Oh, let me alone to give him satisfaction. Flo. I'm afraid it must be alone if you do give him satisfaction; for my part, I can push no more than I ran swim. Hyp. But can you bully upon occasion Flo. I can scold when my blood’s up. Hyp. That’s the same thing: bullying would be scolding in petticoats. Flo. Sayye so Why then, don, look to yourself; if I don’t give you as good as you bring, I’ll be content to wear breeches as long as I live, though I lose the end of my sex by it. Well, madam, now you have opened the plot, pray when is the play to begin Hyp. I hope to have it all over in less than four hours: we'll just refresh ourselves with what the house affords, comb out our wigs, and wait upon my father-in-law—How now l what would this fellow have
Trap. Servant, gentlemen; I have taken nice care of your nags; good cattle they are, by my troth right and sound, I warrant them; they deserve care, and they have had it, and shall have it if they stay in this house.—I always stand by, sir, see them rubbed down with my own eyes
Catch me trusting an ostler, I'll give you leave to fill for me, and drink for me too.
*lo. I have seen this fellow somewhere.
Trap. Hey-day I what, no cloth laid I was ever such attendance to Hey, house ! tapster landlord! hey [Knocks.] What was it you bespoke, gentlemen : Hyp. Really, sir, I ask your pardon, I have almost forgot you. Trap. Pshal dear sir, never talk of it; I live here hard by—I have a lodging—I cann’t call it a lodging neither—that is, I have a—Sometimes I am here, and sometimes I am there ; and so, here and there one makes shift, you know.—Hey! will these people never come t [Knocks. Hyp. You give a very good account of yourself, sir. Trap. Oh, nothing at all, sir. Lord, sir—was it fish or flesh, sir? Flo. Really, sir, we have bespoke nothing yet. Trap. Nothing 1 for shamel it's a sign you are young travellers. You don't know this house, sir; why, they'll let you starve if you don’t stir and call, and that like thunder too—Hey! [Knocks. Hyp. Hal you eat here sometimes I presume, sir? Trap. Umph!—Ay, sir, that's as it happens I seldom eat at home indeed—things are generally, you know, so out of order there that—Did you hear any fresh news upon the road, sir? Hyp. Only, sir, that the King of France lost a great horse-match upon the Alps toother day. Trap. Ha! a very odd place for a horse-race but the King of France may do any thing—Did you come that way, gentlemen i or—Hey! [Knocks.
Host. Did you call, gentleman Trap. Yes, and bawl too, sir. Here the gentlemen are almost famished, and nobody comes near 'em. What have you in the house now that will be ready presently Host. You may have what you please, sir. Hyp. Can you get us a partridge Host. Sir, we have no partridges; but we'll get you what you please in a moment. We have a very good neck of mutton, sir; if you please it shall be clapped down in a moment. Hyp. Have you no pigeons or chickens Host. Truly, sir, we have no fowl in the house at present; if you please you may have anything else in a mononent. Hyp. Then, pr’ythee, get us some young rabbits. Host. Upon my word, sir, rabbits are so scarce they are not to be had for money. - Flo. Have you any fish Host. Fish, sir! I drest yesterday the finest dish that ever came upon a table; I am sorry we have none left, sir; but if you please you may have any thing else in a moment. Trap. Pox on theet hast thou nothing but any thing else in the house Host. Very good mutton, sir. Hyp. Pr’ythee get us a breast then. Host, Breast I don't you love the neck, sir? C