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''Tis but venturing,' said Ho-Fi; 'and if I fail, I will not hang myself up by my pig-tail like a Ni-Ni, nor run myself through with a thumbnail like a Boo-Bee.' Ni-Ni and Boo-Bee were two celebrated Werters of China.

His design thus formed, he set to work systematically to carry it into effect, and began by picking acquaintance with the philosopher PooPoo. Observing that venerable person cheapening the hind-quarter of a prize polecat in the meat-market, with his usual ease and address he managed to fall into conversation with him; and by a little banter, from time to time agreeably directed to the butcher, soon obtained for the philosopher that abatement in the price of the tempting morsel, for which Poo-Poo himself might probably in vain have striven. Having declared his own predilection for polecat, and particularly for the hind-quarter, he led the discourse by easy gradations from polecats to weasels, from weasels to rats, from rats to dogs, from dogs to pigs, from pigs to his fair countrywomen, and so to the celebrated beauty So-Sli, the daughter of the sage Poo-Poo. Of the philosopher himself he expressed great admiration, and regretted that he was not so fortunate as to enjoy his acquaintance, nay, that he did not even so much as know him by sight. Poo-Poo was a lover of wisdom-but what philosopher was ever yet proof against flattery? or would not feel gratified at overhearing his own praises in cases like the present, where they could not be intended as flattery? Ho-Fi had already secured himself a high-place in the philosophical estimation of Poo-Poo.

It will readily be supposed that Poo-Poo was not anxious to turn the conversation out of the channel into which it had thus accidentally flowed, and he sounded his new friend's opinions on the subject of his pet matrimonial theory. This Ho-Fi of course applauded 'to the very echo,' -by which expression is intended that his words were mere mockery, vox et præterea nihil.

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Were you to ask me,' said he, 'who is the greatest of ancient or modern sages, I should answer, Poo-Poo. Were you to ask me who, of all, has advanced a theory most likely to be extensively beneficial to the human race, I should answer Poo-Poo. Were you to ask me for a word synonymous with philosophy, I should answer Poo-Poo. I doubt not that the days will come when the wisdom of Poo-Poo will be universally admitted, and his name be adduced as a conclusive settlement to all disputed questions; when if any one shall be asked his reason, he will answer Poo-Poo; if he be asked his authority, he will answer Poo-Poo; when criticism will be condensed in those two syllables Poo-Poo; and when those same two yllables, Poo-Poo, will suffice to upset criticism; in short, when he that speaks Poo-Poo the loudest will be the best logician, and when all discussion will be but a matter of Poo-Poo.'

That day Ho-Fi dined with Poo-Poo on the hind quarter of the prize polecat.

The morsel was small, but it was choice. Having so soon and so easily insinuated himself into the good graces of the father, he next sought an opportunity of winning his way into those of the daughter. He boldly expressed his desire to Poo-Poo, and a day was settled upon which he should be formally introduced to her, a ceremony not to be conducted with too great precipitation. In the interval he was careful to collect all information regarding the whims and prejudices of the lovely So-Sli.

He came, he saw, he conquered; or we should rather write, he came, she saw, he conquered. His attire was studiously elegant, and he had selected such colours as he had found, from the report of some of her acquaintance, were most agreeable to her; his beautifully embroidered petticoat of crimson silk was such as well might suit a lady's taste;' his shawl might have won the heart even of an English lady; his cap he had procured from one of the most eminent modistes of Pekin; and the tippet, which formed part of his out-door dress, was of the most costly fur. His long black hair was carefully plaited, and hung far down his back; he wore a necklace of pearls, much coveted by his young competitors in fashion; his scent-bottle was full of the choicest essence; and he carried a valuable fan, which he fluttered with peculiar grace.

This attention to externals produced at once a favourable impression upon So-Sli, who was herself particular in her attire. She usually wore a long frock-coat of blue or green cloth over a pink waistcoat, and her trowsers were always of the newest cut. She went to considerable expense to procure the most elegant pipes, and piqued herself upon her nice judgment in her choice of tobacco.

The town, like some other Chinese towns, was upon the point of surrendering to the formidable 'demonstration' made by the enemy; but when he opened upon it simultaneously, the light artillery of flattery and the heavy artillery of gifts (the latter consisting of two great guns, the one a gold snuff-box, and the other a Chinese poodle), the gates flew open, and he marched in triumph into the citadel, his lady's heart. The vanquished So-Sli kept the snuff-box, ate the poodle, and accepted the heart and the hand of Ho-Fi.

They were married, and a fortnight flew by in two days; or perhaps the young pair made some miscalculation, as the almanacks had not predicted this.

The cranium, we would observe, is the dwelling-house of the soul; the organ of time is its time-piece; but when the soul sits all day in its back-rooms, it sometimes forgets to wind up its clock.

Each was constantly devising means to gratify the other; and the only occasions of strife that arose between them were when each endeavoured to force upon the other the choicest morsels of fox or ferret or frog, or whatever constituted their delicate little meal for the day.

One morning, Ho-Fi for a while absented himself from his beloved So-Sli, and went into the city. When he returned, he took from his pouch, or reticule, a small packet of tea.

'My dearest So-Sli,' he said, 'I have a friend who is particular in the cultivation of plants. With so much skill and care are his experiments conducted, that he has succeeded in obtaining bananas from his orangetrees, and in converting a pine-apple into a gooseberry. He has lately directed his attention to the improvement of the young tea-tree. He planted it with a silver spade, manured it with silk-worms and doves' marrow, and he waters the ground around it daily with roe's tears and cinnamon juice. He has hitherto gathered but two ounces of the leaves, one of which has been presented to the emperor, and the other he has transmitted to me, as being the oldest of his friends. I have brought it here for my darling So-Sli. As you love me, make an infusion of its leaves, and drink.'

'Nay,' said So-Sli, 'if it be so choice, you shall drink it, not I. What exceedingly curious leaves! and, what is most remarkable is, that they are exactly like others. But what is this dust upon them?'

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That,' answered Ho-Fi, 'is a substance derived from the silk-worms, and is what, had they not been buried, would have formed the down on the wings when they became moths. But you must drink this most dainty infusion; I have prepared it on purpose for you; and to refuse it would be to show how little you loved your tender Ho-Fi.'

Whilst speaking, Ho-Fi had poured hot water on the leaves, and he offered the cup containing the fragrant infusion to his beloved. She insisted that he should drink it; and an affectionate contest took place, each wishing to give up to the other all the enjoyment of so exquisite a draught. So-Sli at first positively refused to taste a drop; then she would consent that he should leave one sip for her; and then, that if he would take half, she would drink the remainder. Ho-Fi was obstinately determined that she should have all, or at least should take the first draught. At last their affectionate entreaties began to change to tones of anger and impatience; but, to settle the matter at once, So-Sli took the cup, and proceeding to the open window, emptied it before him, declaring that, as it had become a cause of quarrel, neither should drink it.

Their anger blew over, and several times since they had taken tea together in perfect amity. One evening they were seated at that important occupation, and Ho-Fi had just finished his first cup, when So-Sli observed she did not think the tea so good as usual. Ho-Fi agreed with her in opinion, and using a common Chinese imprecation, wished a rotten root to the tree that bore it.

What!' said So-Sli, bursting into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, 'after all the pains your poor friend has taken to nourish it with silkworms and spice? That's too cruel a desire!"

Ho-Fi started, and turned somewhat pale. Why do you revert to that subject?' he said. Methinks it were better to let such a matter rest.'

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Nay,' said So-Sli, still laughing violently, 'I said you should drink the tea; and when I pretended to pour it from the window, I poured it only into an earthen pan which lay outside. I have had it warmed for you now, but am sorry you like it so little.'

Ho-Fi turned very pale indeed, and his head, which was carefully balanced on his shoulders, assumed a remarkable resemblance to a globular stew pan with a lid; his pig-tail, 'with the effect of fear,' stood out horizontally and stiffly behind as its handle; and the dropped and protruding lip of his suddenly-opened mouth seemed like a spout; but there is this to be particularly noted, that the stew would have been in the pan, whereas he and his pan were both in a

stew.

For a few moments he was struck motionless, but anon he started up, and called loudly for warm water.

Perfidious woman,' he shrieked, 'hast thou poisoned thy husband?' 'Poisoned!' said So-Sli. Was the tea then poisoned? I remember that white dust. But can moths' feathers be poison ?'

'It burns! it burns!' cried Ho-Fi, in a frantic manner. 'For Fo's sake, bring me an emetic, a stomach-pump-no, no, that is not yet inventedbut blisters, cataplasms-anything!'

He was put in bed; physicians were sent for; he raved till he was exhausted, and then lay asleep or insensible for some hours. When his senses returned, he became aware of the expressions he had used, and being calmer, he endeavoured to explain them away. He said that the tea was of such wonderful potency as to have deprived him of reason more rapidly than the strong spirit distilled from rice could have done. He had fancied in his delirium that his wife had put poison in his cup; but he now fully appreciated the absurdity of such a fear. He should write to his friend who had sent the leaves to give him warning, that if the Emperor should drink an infusion of the ounce sent to him, he, the unfortunate cultivator of this ardent tea, would undoubtedly be put to death by slow

torture.

Ho-Fi had a strong constitution to support him against poisoned tea and three Chinese physicians. He slowly recovered froin their effects.

He was restored once more to his fond wife; but, fond as she had always shown herself, So-Sli could not prevent the intrusion into her mind of an unpleasant suspicion that her affectionate husband had offered her poisoned tea, from a too lively solicitude to put her quite out of reach of those ugly customers, care and sorrow. Long before her marriage, surmises had been whispered which had even reached her ears, that at least a few of his former six wives 'had not been fairly dealt with; but no one, wife or otherwise, volunteered any evidence against him; and the Chinese had not arrived at those refinements in chemical science which enable our western luminaries, by distilling a bone, or making a fricassee of a muscle, to detect the millionth part of the shadow of nothing at all in one who is supposed to have died by poison.

It could hardly have been hinted that a man was such a bluebeard without strong reason assigned for so supposing. Perhaps, to some minds, the mere fact of his having been married six times, and having in every instance become a widower within two months, may suffice to justify a suspicion: but if a motive should be sought that could render such heinous villany probable, it might be mentioned that on the marriage of a Yellow Girdle he is allowed by his cousin, the Emperor, a sum of one hundred taels (in addition to his usual stipend,) to assist in furnishing his house; and on the death of his wife, one hundred and twenty more, to assist in furnishing her sepulchre. And Ho-Fi was by no means the first of whom it had been reported that he sought by a succession of such profitable marriages and deaths to raise his very inconsiderable income into a handsome competency.

So-Sli could not avoid a suspicion; but, as she had really loved Ho-Fi, she tried to repress it, and not to entertain such evil thoughts as must, if confirmed, have given a death-blow to her affection. Still she was haunted by a fear that he might endeavour by other devices to lay her on the shelf with his former wives, whose coffins, like the volumes of a work, were ranged side by side, and duly numbered; each also was inscribed with the words, 'Wife of Ho-Fi,' and had besides its table of contents; which, indeed, consisted merely of the lady's name.

I am sorry to say, that had So-Sli been more suspicious than she was, she would therein have done her husband no wrong. There was nothing he so earnestly wished as to have his new volume firmly put up in a camphor-wood binding, and neatly lettered to match the others.

Ho-Fi remembered an incident in a famous Chinese tragedy, an ingenious device for disposing of an obnoxious person, which he thought he might turn to account. He procured a savage dog, and having purchased a lady's dress of peculiar colours, and another of similar appearance, but inferior quality, he filled the latter with straw, bones, and offal, and on this encouraged his dog to make an awful attack. The dog was well pleased with the prize he discovered within, and Ho-Fi repeated this experiment on several successive days. When he considered the animal to be sufficiently familiarized with the figure, he tied him up, and kept him some time without food. He then made a present to his lady of the other dress, and expressed a desire that she might immediately indue it. This, not, however, until she had examined it with an apprehensive eye, she did: and he affected to be much delighted at beholding her in her new garment. He, however, pretended to have business which would call him from home for an hour, and begged that she would wait his return in a grotto in the garden; he particularly requested that she would allow no one to open a chest which he had had placed in a court of the house, and of which he said the fastening had been accidentally broken: he would not at that time tell her what it contained, but promised to do so by and by.

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When So-Sli was left alone, she communed with herself. Who knows,' she said, 'what man-trap or spring-gun my beloved husband may have prepared for me in the grotto? It will not, I fear, be wise to venture thither. And, what does this chest contain which he has brought hither, and which he wishes to keep secret from me? Now I would wager six pots of pickled earthworms that he has concealed in that the grave-clothes which he intends for his affectionate So-Sli. If I detect him in such a purpose I will positively request my father to reason with him on the very great impropriety of all such modes of proceeding.'

Forming this vigorous determination, So-Sli likewise resolved to examine the chest forthwith. But first she went to a cage, in which was her husband's bird of good-luck, a white-necked crow. Ho-Fi valued this bird beyond all his earthly possessions; he had made it tame, and had attached it to him, and he considered that whilst he possessed it, no material ill-fortune could befall him. So-Sli frequently fed it, and it had become fond of her also, from which it was to be believed that its kindly influence would extend to her. She took it now from its cage, and placed it on her wrist, and having tendered it a kiss, which was affectionately received and reciprocated, she went into the yard to discover the contents of the myste

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